Betting on the Muse

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by Charles Bukowski


  the divorced, the mad, the

  ladies of the

  streets.

  I always became the best

  at things when those things

  no longer counted:

  football, high-speed driving,

  drinking, gambling, clowning,

  debating, bullshitting, going

  to jail, going crazy, lifting

  weights, shadow boxing with

  fate.

  but I was alone.

  the others had become sedate,

  had become responsible

  citizens with

  children, jobs, mortgages,

  life insurance and pet

  dogs.

  the very things which terrorized

  me.

  I was the retarded child

  still looking for more

  childhood.

  I still wanted to play but

  there were no

  playmates.

  I bummed the country,

  prowled the avenues,

  the bars.

  I found nothing, I

  found

  nobody.

  I searched the skid

  rows

  thinking that something

  could be hiding

  there.

  I thought

  wrong.

  being a late starter

  also makes you late for heaven

  or hell,

  you are always trying to

  catch something,

  catch up to something,

  some tangent, some

  invisible thing,

  it has to be there,

  I can feel it there,

  I see it sometimes in the eyes

  of a tired old waitress,

  or the round spot on a pillow

  where the cat has

  slept.

  it’s there and it beats the

  funeral parlors

  and the millions of feet

  walking in their

  shoes

  and the way it seems to

  be,

  the cities, the faces, the

  newspapers, the sidewalks,

  the stop signs, the churches,

  the flags and the

  calendars, the whole

  unholy act.

  this childhood on the

  hunt,

  this late starter,

  this slugger, this drunkard

  is still on the

  look-out

  and I know it’s there,

  unfound,

  waiting,

  centuries late,

  boiling,

  swirling,

  I’ve got the fix on

  it,

  it’s coming into

  focus,

  don’t you almost feel it

  now?

  I do.

  barstool

  the longer I live the more I realize

  that I knew exactly what I was doing

  when I didn’t seem to be doing

  anything

  but watching a wet fly on the

  bar

  nuzzling a pool of

  spilled beer.

  I was quitting the game,

  tossing in my hand

  early,

  it felt grand, I tell you,

  it even felt dramatic, I mean

  to cough it up and out,

  to give way,

  to sit there

  the dirty Venetian blinds

  behind me,

  nothing to do but get my

  wits up enough

  to cage another free

  drink.

  I had zeroed out, I was

  the Grand Marshal of

  Nowhere,

  still young,

  I realized that there was

  no place to go,

  ever,

  I was already there.

  I was the Clown of the

  Patrons.

  I was the Nut.

  I was the Heart of a

  Heartless bar.

  the drinks came.

  the days and nights

  went.

  the years went.

  I lived by my addled

  crushed wits,

  sometimes

  ended up bloodied in

  some alley, given up

  for dead,

  only to rise again.

  I knew exactly what I

  was doing: I was

  doing nothing.

  because I knew there

  was nothing

  to do.

  I know now

  that I knew then all that there

  was to

  know,

  and tonight

  sitting alone here,

  nobody about,

  I am still fixed in this

  floating

  perfect

  aspect.

  my wits have gotten me

  from nowhere to

  nowhere

  and death like life

  is lacking,

  and I know so well

  I did right

  watching that fly

  nuzzle the beer

  suds

  as the others

  hustled their butts,

  circled in the

  tenebrous

  light.

  look back, look up

  was Celine married?

  did Hemingway have 6

  cats?

  why did Bogart smoke

  himself to

  death?

  was Ty Cobb as mean

  as they claim?

  whatever happened to

  Clark Gable’s

  ears?

  did Van Gogh ever

  ice skate?

  where were you in

  1929?

  Nijinski was a

  madman.

  remember Admiral

  Byrd?

  Joe Louis was a

  cobra.

  remember a-dime-a-

  dance?

  Pearl Harbor?

  Mutt and Jeff?

  The Katzenjammer

  Kids?

  gluing together

  balsa wood

  airplanes?

  a bagful

  of candy for

  7 cents?

  remember the

  iceman?

  Slapsy Maxy

  Rosenbloom?

  garter belts?

  garters?

  all night movies?

  marathon dance

  contests?

  Al Jolson?

  Mickey Walker?

  a nickel beer?

  a nickel phone call?

  a 3 cent stamp?

  Primo Carnera?

  a good ten cent

  cigar?

  Bull Durham?

  fuse boxes?

  ice boxes?

  the ruler against

  the open

  palm?

  the Indian head

  penny?

  Tom Mix?

  Buck Rogers?

  jaw breakers?

  the WPA?

  the NRA?

  Jack Benny?

  the Hit Parade?

  movie houses with

  ushers?

  cigarettes called

  Wings?

  zoot suiters?

  geeks?

  grandmothers who

  baked apple

  pies?

  gold-fish-eating

  contests?

  Red Grange?

  the Babe holding

  out for

  80 grand?

  Man of War?

  flagpole-sitting

  marathons?

  I could go on

  and on…

  but, Christ, if

  you remember

  all of these things

  you must be

  at least as old

  as I am.

  list
ing these things

  on my

  Macintosh

  computer

  with a 50-50 shot

  of seeing the

  21st

  century,

  betting the horse

  instead of

  riding it,

  we’re lucky to be

  here and we’ll

  be lucky when we

  leave.

  see you in

  St. Louis.

  see you behind

  that last curtain,

  see you at another

  time,

  baby.

  Paris

  was just like not being there.

  Celine was gone.

  there was nobody there.

  Paris was a bite of bluegrey air.

  the women rushed by as if you would never

  DARE to go to bed with

  them.

  there were no armies around.

  everybody was rich.

  there were no poor in view.

  there were no old in view.

  to sit at a table in a cafe

  would get you careful stares from the other

  patrons

  who were certain that they were

  more important than

  you.

  food was too expensive to eat.

  a bottle of wine would cost you

  your left hand.

  Celine was gone.

  the fat men smoked cigars and became

  gloried puffs of smoke.

  the thin men sat very straight and spoke

  only to each other.

  the waiters had big feet and were sure

  that they were more important than

  anything or

  anybody.

  Celine was gone.

  and Picasso was dying.

  Paris was absolutely nothing.

  I did see a dog that looked like a

  white wolf.

  I don’t remember leaving

  Paris.

  but I must have been

  there.

  it was somewhat like leaving

  a fashion magazine in a

  train station.

  the good soul

  it’s not enough that he’s one of

  the richest men on

  television,

  he has to reappear on the

  tube

  and complain that many other

  programs are not

  decent,

  they are full of obscene

  words and

  gestures,

  or that people are

  “anti-social,”

  that they should look up

  to things that

  will inspire

  and purify

  them.

  his own program is

  full of cute

  children,

  well-dressed, well-

  fed,

  overlooked by a

  very understanding

  father

  and a mother

  who understands the

  father better than

  he does

  himself.

  they live in a

  luxurious home

  and at times

  certain members of

  this family

  have little

  programmed arguments,

  but they all work it

  out,

  become instruments

  for a more

  loving and understanding

  togetherness.

  all that I can say

  to this

  is:

  shit, fuck, bullshit,

  crap,

  come here and

  bite

  this.

  lousy mail

  drinking up here, looking out at the lights of

  the city, the rows of headlights snaking down

  the Harbor Freeway south

  forever,

  Sibelius working on the radio.

  there is a small refrigerator in the room.

  I get up now, reach in there, crack a

  beer as

  Sibelius continues to work.

  about 3 times a week now I get manuscripts

  in the mail from young men

  who seem to think that I can get them

  published.

  they tell me that their work is good.

  I read it and find it astonishingly

  bad.

  they don’t want to write, they want

  fame.

  they probably read their stuff to

  their mothers, their girl

  friends.

  they probably give poetry readings

  at poetry holes.

  they will go on and on

  typing dead work for decades

  never believing that their failure is

  simply the result of a lack of

  talent.

  as I sit tonight 3 such manuscripts

  are on the desk in front of

  me.

  I don’t know what to tell these

  men.

  they have no self-doubt.

  I probably won’t answer.

  what would you tell them?

  would you send them to hell

  with a cruel comment?

  would you give them

  undeserved praise?

  how can you be true and

  kind at the same

  time?

  how?

  THE SUICIDE

  Contemplating suicide was standard practice for Marvin Denning. Sometimes his thinking about it disappeared for days, even for weeks, and he felt nearly normal, normal enough to continue living comfortably for a while. Then the urge would return. At those times life became too much for him, the hours and the days dragged along uselessly. The voices, the faces, the behavior of people sickened him.

  Now, driving in from work the urge to suicide was fully there. He turned off the car radio. He had been listening to Beethoven’s 3rd and the music had seemed all wrong, pretentious, forced.

  “Shit,” he said.

  Marvin was driving over the bridge that took him back to his apartment. It was a bridge which spanned one of the largest harbors in the world.

  Marvin stopped his car near the middle of the bridge, switched on the hazard light and got out of the machine. There was a ledge next to the bridge’s rail and he stepped up on it.

  Above him stretched a wire fence a good 10 feet tall. He’d have to climb that wire fence in order to get over the side.

  Below him was the water. It looked peaceful. It looked just fine.

  Rush hour traffic was building up. Marvin’s car blocked the outer lane. The cars in that lane were trying to make a lane change. Traffic was backing up.

  Some of the cars honked as they swung by. Drivers cursed Marvin as they drove by.

  “Hey, you nuts or what?”

  “Take a dive! The water’s warm!”

  Marvin continued to stare down at the water. He decided to climb the fencing and go over. Then he heard another voice.

  “Sir, are you all right?”

  A police car had parked behind Marvin’s car. Red lights flashed. One officer approached him as the other remained in the car.

  The officer moved quickly toward him. He was young with a thin white face.

  “What’s the problem, sir?”

  “It’s my car, officer, it has stalled, won’t start.”

  “What are you doing up on the ledge?”

  “Just looking.”

  “Looking at what?”

  “The water.”

  The officer came closer.

  “This is not a sightseeing area.”

  “I know. It’s the car. I was just standing here, waiting.”

  Marvin stepped down from the ledge. The officer was next to him. He had a flashlight.

  “Open your eyes wide, please!”

  He shined the flashl
ight into Marvin’s left eye, then his right, then he re-hooked the flashlight on his belt.

  “Let me see your license.”

  The cop took the license.

  “Stay where you are.”

  The cop walked back to the squad car. He stuck his head in the window and spoke with the other cop. Then he straightened up and waited. After a few minutes he walked back to Marvin, handed him back his license.

  “Sir, we are going to have to move your car from the bridge.”

  “You mean you’re going to call a tow truck? Thank you.”

  Marvin’s car was parked on a slight incline near the center of the bridge.

  “No, we are going to give you a push. Maybe when you get rolling you can get it started.”

  “That’s very good of you, officer.”

  “Please get in your car, sir.”

  Marvin got in his car and waited. When the police car bumped his, he took off the hand brake and put it into neutral. They rolled up over the center of the bridge and down the other side. He put it into 2nd, stepped on the gas and, of course, the car started. He waved to the police and drove along.

  They followed him. They followed him off the bridge and down the main boulevard. The blocks went by. They continued to follow. Then Marvin saw a cafe: The Blue Steer. He pulled into the parking lot, found a space.

  The police car had pulled in behind him, a few yards to one side, between Marvin and the cafe. Marvin got out of his car, locked it and walked toward The Blue Steer. As he passed the cops in the squad car he gave them another little wave, “Thank you again, officers.”

  “Better get that car checked out, sir.”

  “I will, of course.”

  Marvin walked into the cafe without looking back. The restaurant was packed. All the faces almost made him sick. There was a sign:

 

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