by W. J. May
They were fighting like two gorillas squaring off over a banana. Her team hated Frank more than anything, mostly because he’d spent his life trying to prove researchers wrong, and he’d been debunking their hard work for years.
Why couldn’t Adam behave? After all, he was the oldest out of the bunch, maybe in his late thirties. He smoothed out his brown hair to one side before putting his fedora hat back on. He was a true explorer if there ever was one, traveling from one part of the world to the other. He was definitely an asset to the team when he kept his temper in check.
“What’s your problem?” Frank yelled. “I just saved your sorry butt.”
“You’re my problem, punk.” Adam shoved him again. “I’d rather be here with anyone but you. I don’t see why Sarah told you the location of our expedition.”
“I didn’t tell him,” Sarah hissed. “He found us on his own. You know he’s a journalist...and apparently a stalker.”
Frank ran a hand through his hair. “I know you guys are pissed about some of my articles, but get your crap together. We’re in a different dimension here. Obviously, getting out of here is much more important than rehashing who did what to whom back in the twenty-first century.”
“You debunked us by name in that trash book you wrote.” Adam clenched his fists. “I should sue you for slander.”
Frank shrugged. “Suit yourself, but I’m pretty sure you won’t find an attorney here. You have to get home first, and that might be difficult since I’ve no intention to save your ass a second time.”
Adam lunged, the vein on his forehead ready to burst any minute.
Steven grabbed his arm and held him back. “Listen, man, we got bigger problems. He’s so not worth it.”
“He made us look like the laughingstocks of California,” Adam said. Even though he was still fuming, he took Steven’s advice and backed off. “I can’t believe Sarah would ever date a guy like that, let alone let him put his arm around her. Are you two shacking up or something now, Sarah? Sleeping with the enemy?”
As much as she would’ve liked to have convinced him otherwise, Steven was right. They had other worries to take care of first. Frank was often obnoxious, as were the claims he made in his book, but alienating him wasn’t an option. They needed all the manpower they could get, and he’d risked his hide more than once to save her. “It’s none of your business who I spend my time with. We’re all stuck here, so quit acting like preschoolers. Let’s figure out how to find my sister and then get the heck out of here!”
He looked at her, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t think you’re running this expedition anymore, boss.”
“That last word said it all.” She smirked. “As long as I’m paying you, you’ll do as I say, and as of right now, you’re still on my payroll.”
“Fine then. You’re the boss.”
“Wait...Liz? Your sister’s here?” Beth asked.
“I’ll explain later.” With a last warning look at Adam, Sarah turned and focused on the path ahead.
To both sides, large trees stretched as far as she could see, their thick canopy of leaves filtering the last natural light of the day. Branches and twigs snapped under their booted feet, the only noise exchanged between them until Beth resumed the conversation after a few minutes of walking. “So, you’re back with Frank? I thought you two split up.”
What is this? Why can’t people butt out of my private life? She opened her mouth to answer when Frank slipped his arm around her, beating her to it. “Listen, all you enquiring minds, we’re trying to work things out here. Digging up dirt isn’t going to help our blossoming relationship, so just shut the hell up, will ya?”
“You’re unbelievable! Such an idiot,” Beth said, unfazed. She went to slap Frank’s face, but he caught her hand.
“Listen, Beth, don’t start on me too. I hope we can all be friends.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not a chance.”
Steven turned on his camera and started filming the trees and narrow path. “Come on, man, that’s enough. Everybody stop. I apologize for their behavior, Sarah. Being stuck here with Frank Hedford is the pits, but we’re also stressed. You’ve no idea what we’ve been through. Fortunately, I caught it all on film.”
Sarah grabbed the camera and looked directly into the lens, anger edging her voice. “On the contrary, I just might have a feeling. It hasn’t exactly been champagne and caviar, limos and five-star hotels for us either. We’ve gone through quite a bit ourselves.”
Adam adjusted his fedora against the gust of wind blowing in their direction. “Well, we almost died countless times. Like Steven said, you’ve absolutely no idea.”
Sarah waved her finger in the air, showing off her ruby ring. “Well, you poor, poor babies. I mean, I was only mistaken for a princess and thrown in a dungeon crawling with bugs and rats. I was then forced to marry the king of Tastia, who just so happens to be an Immortal eager to impregnate me with a whole freaking medieval baseball team. He slapped this ring on my finger, and I can’t get it off, and now fireballs shoot out of my hands.” She took a breath and gathered her thoughts. “Oh, and did I mention I pissed him off by running away, and Frank and I had to fake being monks to escape him and his knights? If that’s not bad enough, the king of Dornia is pissed at me, too, and this is his turf. He wants me dead too. There’s also a group of Immortals who want to kill me because I became one without their permission, which is how I managed to get shot in the heart, and I’m not talking about eighties music here.”
Steven laughed. “Wait...fireballs? Shot in the heart? And you’re...married to a king? Wow, Sarah, you should start writing fiction. You’re pulling my leg. If someone shot you, you’d be dead as a stone, sweetheart.”
“She ain’t kidding,” Frank muttered. “And remember, I’m the skeptic here. I saw it all for myself.”
Sarah nodded. “Yes, I was shot directly in the heart and the back as well. I had to walk disguised as a monk through a village of knights whose only goal in life was to behead me. So Adam, do fill me in on your little horror story, won’t you? I’d love to hear it.”
Beth put an arm around her. “You were mistaken for a princess? And you married a king? Seriously? How come that stuff doesn’t happen to me?”
Sarah smacked her hand. “Stop it.”
Beth laughed. “But blondes are supposed to have more fun.”
Steven gave her a fist bump. “Yeah, baby! Us blonds have to stick together.”
She smiled, and then continued. “Is this king a good kisser? Was it nice and slow or fast and furious? And more importantly, if he was any kind of kisser at all, what in God’s name are you doing traipsing around poor villages and sleeping in caves when you could be sleeping in one of those fancy canopy beds ordering room service from the royal kitchen?”
“That’s enough!” Frank hissed.
“Oh!” Beth squealed. “Even better? Is he hot?”
“How about we don’t go there right now?” Frank asked.
Beth smiled. “Jealous? Bet you never thought you’d have any competition here, of all places. If I were you, Frank, I’d be worried—for more reasons than one. Just look at the muscles on some of these guys. A knight in shining armor is every girl’s dream...and don’t even get me started on the dark hair and broodiness.”
“Ain’t that the truth?” Sarah said as Victor’s face flashed across her mind. “Actually, it was Frank’s brilliant idea for me to marry the king, when he came to rescue me like a knight in shining armor.”
Steven cocked an eyebrow. “Say what?”
“Long story,” Frank said.
Adam ran his hand across Sarah’s forehead. “How hard did you hit your head, boss?”
“You better get your employee on a short leash, Sarah, or I’m going to slug him into next week,” said Frank, “or maybe last week. God knows around here.”
Beth cleared her throat. When everyone fell silent and she had their attention, she said, “While our little Sarah here was busy join
ing the royal family and impersonating a monk, we’ve discovered a few things. The cave’s still here, but there’s no portal back home. We tried to snoop around for a bit longer, but a ton of Bigfoots—or is it Bigfeet?—chased us out of the forest.”
“And I got it all on tape.” Steven’s voice went up an octave. “Six o’clock news, here we come! No—better yet—Discovery Channel!”
“There’s a way back,” Frank said. “You just need a key. Bet you didn’t know that part.”
“Frank!” Sarah elbowed him in the ribs. “Don’t be rude. Just because you stumbled across that little tidbit of information doesn’t mean you knew it all along. You got lucky.”
“Hmm. I don’t recall getting lucky...yet.”
“Shut up. I meant you got lucky with Jules...er, uh...” Sarah smacked her forehead and scowled at him. “You know what I mean.”
“A key?” Steven asked, interrupting their chiding. “How exactly do we get one of those? I haven’t seen a Ye Olde Portal Locksmith shop around here yet,” Steven asked.
“I’m wearing it.” Sarah held up her hand.
Steven pointed the camera down at her ring. “Awesome. Then what are we waiting for?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “I told you I have to find my sister first. She’s here. She’s been here all along.”
“I thought you were delusional,” Adam said. “You’re for real?” When she nodded he continued, “Let’s hurry up then. This is a dangerous place. We can’t stay here one minute longer than we have to.”
“I’m carrying the key, so you know what that means, right?”
A couple of them nodded, but Adam just shook his head. “No. What?”
“It means everyone plays by my rules,” Sarah said. “Got it? I’m the one who married a complete stranger so we could all go home.”
Steven nodded. In the darkness, his pale skin and huge blue eyes gave him the appearance of a teenager. No one would’ve guessed he was at least her age. “Got it, boss. You went through some tough times, just like we all did.”
“Yeah. We were chased by a dragon south of here,” Beth said. “Can you believe that? A reallive dragon! Of course I guess it could have also been a dinosaur that hasn’t gone extinct yet.”
Steven smiled. “Yeah...and I got it all on tape!” He put his camera away in a giant bag and swung it over his shoulder.
“I wonder if that tops the shape-shifters that turned from wolves into people,” Sarah said.
“Whoa!” Steven’s voice raised another octave. “We need an entire expedition with at least fifty researchers.”
“We better go. I’ve already made enough enemies in this place,” said Sarah as she scanned her surroundings.
“Tell me more about the men trying to kill you,” Beth requested.
“Define kill. If you mean kill immediately, on sight, that would be King William’s men. If you’re talking kill after a speedy and slanted trial, that’d be the Immortals, some group called the Cardashian Court. If you’re talking about execution for being a runaway bride, that would be King Victor.”
“Wow. Throw in the mafia, a couple of Terminators, and a motorcycle gang, and you’ve got the makings of a real epic film here. You think you have enough killing machines after you?” Steven asked.
“Let’s just hope the shape-shifters don’t get mad. We lied to them too,” Frank said. “The last thing we need are a bunch of pissed-off werewolves after us. I guess you might say pissing people off is our specialty.”
“Well, that’s no news to me when it comes to you,” Adam said, “but it’s not Sarah’s normal M.O.”
Frank sighed. “Humph. In any case, there are several angry mobs hot on our trail. You might think twice before traveling with us.”
“But you have the key,” Adam said.
“I guess you’re stuck with us then,” said Frank. “I hate to interrupt this meaningful, pleasant conversation,” he continued, taking a deep breath and pointing behind him “but people with torches and pitchforks are never a good sign, right?”
Sarah followed his line of vision to the crowd gathering in the distance. Village people—and not the kind who liked to sing about the YMCA—were closing in from all sides, marching closer. Her gaze fell on the two men riding on white horses, leading the congregation. The ruby ring on the finger of one of them shimmered in the light as he lifted his arm to signal. “And neither are Immortals,” she muttered. “I can see their rings.”
Beth squinted. “How can you possibly see that far?”
Sarah shrugged. “I guess being Immortal comes with a good vision plan. How are you guys at fencing?”
“I’m no ninja,” Adam retorted.
Sarah backed up a few steps and glanced over her shoulder; they were at the edge of a steep cliff with a roaring river below. “From the looks of it, maybe we should be more worried about our diving skills. Everyone can swim, right?”
People hurried in their direction, the torches in their hands flickering in the breeze.
What the heck? Why the sudden 360? Listening closer, she could make out some of the shouts.
“Kill the witch!”
“Evil be damned!”
“Death to the intruders!”
“Save our world!”
“Make them beg! Make them bleed! Kill them for their evil deeds!” shouted one particularly creative mercenary who should have been equipped with a set of pompoms.
She groaned, irritated. What makes them think we’re witches? Did the Immortals tell them that? She took a glance over the cliff and shuddered. “Ready to do some nighttime cliff-diving, team? I know I’m not, but it might be our only chance.”
“Well,” Frank said, “we’d better get to it while the adrenaline’s pumping. Let’s do this.”
She looked at the others. “You guys up for it?”
Shaking her head, Beth grabbed Sarah’s arm, her eyes filled with unspoken terror. “Sarah, I...I can’t! I can’t do it.”
“Now’s not the time to wuss out on me, Beth.” Sarah gave her a shove forward. “This is your life we’re talking about.”
“They’re getting closer!” Adam said.
“JUMP!” Sarah yelled.
“I can’t!” Beth screamed.
“Beth, you have to!”
“No, I mean I really...I can’t because...because—”
“Why not? C’mon! You can do it!”
“I can’t because I’m pregnant!” she said, shaking her head. It wasn’t exactly how she wanted to break the news to everybody.
“Oh my gosh! Jump then, for the sake of your child. If you don’t, they will kill you. They’ll kill all of us, because we’re not leaving you behind.”
Beth’s eyes wavered as she glanced over her shoulder. “Looks like I don’t have a choice.” Taking a last breath and wiping the tears from her eyes, she leapt.
“GERONIMO!” Steven yelled as he jumped into the air, realizing the mob would have no idea who he was paying homage to with his yell.
Sarah shot a glance over her shoulder at her Immortal pursuers. If she wanted to survive in that mad world, she had to know what to look out for in the future. They weren’t wearing the colors or bearing the crests of King William or King Victor. Their pale skin shimmered in the bright light of the moon. She could discern their eye color, hazel and green, even from such a distance, as well as the ruby-red glint of their Immortal jewelry.
“You’re going to the Cardashian Court!” the blond one yelled.
“Like hell I am,” Sarah mumbled. Daggers flew inches from her face. Before she could move aside, one pierced her right shoulder blade. Another one flew into her chest, inches from where the arrow had pierced her flesh before. She spun around and jumped just as another one plunged deep into her back.
Chapter 14
Jumping off a sixty-foot cliff did seem ridiculous, but Sarah knew they had no other choice. Tumbling, cold water gushed into her mouth and soaked her clothes, pulling her under the surface. She pinched her nose,
fighting the sensation to draw in her breath, her lungs on fire. With deliberate, long pushes of her legs and arms, she broke the surface and spewed out water, her whole body screaming for oxygen. She took giant gulps of air as she gazed up. In the distance, the dark shapes of the Immortals rose against the almost black sky; they were still mounted on their fancy white horses, looking down on her from their place atop the high cliffs.
She smiled and waved her hand. “So long, suckers!” Sarah’s vision sharpened quickly. From this distance, she thought she could even see deep lines forming around the blond guy’s mouth, his eyes two glimmering flames of anger.
Suddenly, his voice rolled across her mind. “My name is Ethano. You’ve been summoned by the Cardashian Court to be tried for the crime of claiming Immortal status without permission. This is forbidden by King Taggert, and now you must be judged. Know that I too, can easily jump over this cliff. I recommend that you stop fleeing, because you will be caught and tried eventually, one way or another.”
“I’m sorry I broke your laws!” shouted Sarah. “Truly, it was an accident. I didn’t know anything about the Immortals or this world of yours!” Gasping for breath, she swam toward shore until her feet touched the ground beneath her. Sarah waded through the waist-high current that pulled at her hips and legs with a violent undertow. Pebbles and sand shifted under her feet. She climbed out, shivering as a cold breeze ran over her body. Piercing pain radiated across her chest and back. She bit her lip and held back a moan. Finding her friends was more important than focusing on a little discomfort—or a lot of pain. She took another deep breath and forged ahead. “Frank!” she called through the moonlight, stopping midstride to scan the area. Shadows stretched and shifted in the trees. Squinting, she peered closer until she could make out figures in the distance, hopefully her friends, leaning against black boulders, catching their breath. She raced over, calling out their names.
Frank grabbed her arms. “Are you okay, babe?”
“We have to...to keep going,” Sarah said, breathing heavily. “They’re...they’re coming over the cliff. They’re...right behind us!”