Because then maybe he wouldn’t be downstairs, waiting to take his turn in the ring.
I locked myself in the bathroom. There was only one in the whole place, so it’s a good thing people don’t know it’s there or it’d get pretty nasty in there on fight night. I pushed my jeans and panties down around my knees. A few seconds later...relief.
I understood why Alec was doing it. Without the cash from fighting, we’d be on the street already. But watching him risk his life each month was almost unbearable. I hated The Pit. But sitting waiting for him at home...that would be even worse.
I was just about to stand up when the door rattled. Not hard, just like someone was leaning against it, but it made me jump. I cleared my throat. “Occupied!” I called out, wishing my voice didn’t sound so high and nervy.
A low laugh, the sort that’s shared between friends. And then I saw the bolt on the door slide back.
I grabbed for it, but it was too late. The door was swinging wide and the guy was already inside. Not much taller than me but wider, with heavy muscle under a layer of fat. He was still holding the coin he’d used to open the lock from the outside.
I started to get up. I wasn’t all that scared, yet. My mind was still occupied with humiliation, one hand reaching for my jeans while the other tried to cover my groin. In my head, it was more on the level of some high school prank where the guys invade the girls’ bathroom and laugh at them.
Then his hand slapped across my mouth, his sweaty palm tight against my lips. With his other hand, he lifted me off the toilet and pressed me against the wall. Two more men were crowding in, almost filling the small room. And the true horror of it began to sink in.
One guy closed and locked the door. I could barely hear the roar of the distant crowd, now—even if I could scream, no one would hear me. And no one knows I’m in here.
The guy holding me had wiry brown hair that lay in tangled curls. His foot, when he stamped it down on my jeans and panties to ram them down my legs, was in a work boot, white with dust. I felt my legs bared, then his knee between them, stopping them from closing.
I tried to scream, but my lungs couldn’t get any air. In his excitement, the guy had pushed the edge of his hand right up against my nostrils. I tried to kick, but my ankles were still tangled in my jeans and the bundle of cloth was pinned to the floor by his foot. I heaved myself away from the wall, but his chest was pressed hard against me.
I still couldn’t breathe. Every panicked attempt just sucked his hand tighter against my nose and mouth.
His other hand pushed between my legs. Fingers on me. God...in me. I wanted to throw up. I clawed with my hands and managed to scratch his neck, but then one of the other men grabbed my wrists and pressed my hands hard against the wall. All three of them were laughing, the sound ringing in my ears. I heard a belt buckle being unfastened.
I was still straining against their grip, but my vision was going dark. I wondered if I was going to pass out before it happened.
The door gave a single, solitary creak, as if someone was leaning against it. I looked towards it—anything was better than looking at the men’s faces.
With a sound like the end of the world, the door was ripped off its hinges and lifted away, trailing shattered wood. Then it was tossed aside and I saw—
Him. The man who’d been staring at me.
The lead guy’s two buddies ran at my savior, yelling at him. Now my arms were free, but I barely had the strength to lift them away from the wall. My body had gone limp, my lungs burning for air.
The hooded guy grabbed the first man by the t-shirt and hurled him across the hallway as easily as if he was tossing a garbage bag into a dumpster. The man hit the wall with a sickening crack and went down.
The other man tried to land a punch. Mystery guy blocked it easily, then slammed his fist into the man’s side, right over his kidney. The man crumpled, just in time to get a knee to his chin.
My vision had narrowed to a tunnel. My face was wet with sweat, my life measured in seconds, now. The guy holding me glanced between me and my rescuer like a predator unwilling to let go of its meal. He finally released me and turned to run.
The hooded guy took a single step forward and slammed a fist up into the man’s chin. The uppercut lifted him off his feet and his head smacked into the top of the door frame. He crashed unconscious to the floor.
I slid to the floor. I was wavering at the edge of consciousness, barely capable of taking a breath, but my tortured lungs managed one weak little gasp. The fetid air of The Pit poured down my throat and it tasted like it came from the Swiss Alps. I took another breath and another, each one a little stronger, until I was gulping it down. It took long seconds for my vision to clear and, when it did, nausea followed it. I wrapped my arms around myself and just sat there, staring at the floor.
My rescuer’s boots stepped into my vision. Then his knees appeared as he crouched down. I didn’t look up at him—I couldn’t. I felt as if I was going to throw up. My jeans and panties were still around my ankles but I couldn’t pull them up while I was sitting and it didn’t feel like my legs would hold me if I tried to stand. I settled for pressing my knees together and hugging my calves tight to my thighs. I hoped most of me was hidden in shadow.
I could feel him watching me. Waiting. Giving me time.
I was shaking. I couldn’t stop shaking.
He didn’t say anything and he didn’t attempt to touch me. I think I would have screamed, if he had. He just crouched there next to me, guarding me. I don’t know how long I sat there—minutes, at least. Once, I heard someone approach down the corridor and saw his head snap up. “Fuck off,” he snapped, and the person scurried away.
Except it didn’t sound like Fuck off. It sounded more like Feck off. He had an unfamiliar accent that reminded me of cold, unyielding rock.
At last, I felt strong enough to try to stand. I pushed myself unsteadily to my feet, trying to pull my jeans up at the same time, knowing that whatever I did, he was going to catch a glimpse of my pussy.
But instead, as he stood up with me, I saw him twist and look off down the hallway. He kept his eyes averted while I got my jeans pulled up and only looked back when all the rustling of clothes had ceased.
Now that I was standing, I could see more of him—all the way up to his chest. But I still didn’t dare look up at his face. I was burning up inside with humiliation and raw, sick fear. I knew, on some level, that it was over and that I was safe, now. But I’d been shaken on a deeper level. I’d thought I’d known how shitty the world was, how terrifyingly, casually evil men could be, but I’d been wrong.
I was safe, but I’d never feel safe again.
And then he did something—he put his hand out towards me. A big, calloused hand, each finger easily twice the thickness of mine. He didn’t touch me with it. He just rested it in the air, an inch away from cupping my shoulder. He left it there, saying nothing.
And I felt a warmth flow through me, expanding outward from that almost-touch. Reassurance that he wasn’t like them. That he’d never, ever hurt me.
It shouldn’t have been possible from someone who’d just dealt such violence. But I knew it was true.
I finally looked up at him. His hood was still up, his face hidden in shadow. His comforting hand was still almost touching my shoulder, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to see him, not a mystery savior.
I stared up into the shadows, my eyes pleading.
Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled back his hood just enough to show his face.
Soft black hair cut short and messed up. His strong brow was creasing into a frown at having to reveal himself. But he didn’t look angry—not with me, at least. His gorgeous, electric blue eyes seemed to burn with concern. It was when he glanced down at the three men on the floor that I saw the look change to hatred.
The dark stubble on his cheeks made his skin look even paler. Black hair, white skin, blue eyes and that strong brow...I knew that look, but I was way too
messed up, right then, to place it.
I saw the fight again in my head. It had been so quick! I’d seen plenty of fights in The Pit, but nothing like that. He’d hit with unstoppable power. It had been like watching the men get hit by a truck.
I was still shaking, but it seemed to be dying down. I wrapped my arms around myself and that felt better. But his presence felt better still. It made no sense. I’d seen him destroy those three guys—I should have been terrified of him. But I felt...protected.
“Are you okay?” he asked. That granite-hard accent again, brutal yet beautiful.
He kept glancing down at the guy on the floor—the leader, the one who’d had me pinned against the wall. He was giving the guy such a look of pure, undiluted hate that I thought the floor was going to start bubbling and melting. The guy was still breathing—for now. But I realized with a lurch that whether he lived or died depended on my answer.
It scared the hell out of me...but it was strangely reassuring, too. I nodded.
“You’re crying,” he said tightly. The accent went with his looks, somehow, but my overloaded brain refused to process it. This time his gaze swept around all three of the fallen men, as if he was considering snapping each of them over his knee in turn. Ending them, so they could never hurt anyone again.
“I’m okay,” I said. I pawed at my cheeks. I was crying. Big, fat tears of despair or relief—I didn’t know when they’d started, but they seemed to be stopping.
He stared down at me, his eyes full of sadness. And he moved his hand back from my shoulder and offered it to me.
I slowly took it, my small hand almost disappearing as he clasped it in his much bigger one. He drew me away from the bathroom, leading me down the corridor with a gentleness completely at odds with his strength. With every step we took, I breathed a little more easily. I knew that what had happened was going to live on in my nightmares for a long time—maybe forever—but I felt the strength returning to my body.
As we moved through the dimly-lit corridor, I started to glance up at him. The sheer size of him, up close, was imposing. It wasn’t just that he was big; it was the hardness of him, as if he was carved from rock under his jeans and hooded top. He didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on him but he probably weighed close to twice what I did. And I swore he wasn’t even breathing hard, as if beating those guys up had been nothing at all.
“Thank you,” I said, because I realized I hadn’t said it yet.
He shrugged awkwardly, glancing back at the three men on the floor.
I was slowly taking in how gorgeous he was. The strong jaw and heavy brow, softened just enough by high cheekbones...and those eyes, pale blue and alive with a fierce, protective fire. I flushed at the memory of how I’d lusted after him when I’d seen him in the crowd. It was fate’s cruel trick—the man who’d seen me at my worst was the one I would have liked to see me at my best. As I blinked back the last of the tears, I pleaded silently, don’t remember me like this.
He stared at me...and then he nodded. As if he could read my mind, as if we’d known each other for years. His grip was warm and comforting and, looking at where we joined, it felt...right, somehow. I didn’t feel as if I was in danger, despite everything I’d seen him do.
“What’s your name?” I asked. “I’m Sylvie.”
“Aedan,” he said reluctantly. And the name finally helped my brain make the connection between his looks and that flint-like accent. Irish. “You going back in there?” he asked, jerking his head down the hall towards the fight. “It’s not safe.”
“I have to. My brother’s in the next fight,” I blurted.
He stared at me, probably confused by the lack of family resemblance. “The blond fella? Koning?”
I nodded, surprised that he actually knew our surname. Real names weren’t used much. The fight organizers gave people stage names to hype them up. Alec was The Dutchman. For Aedan to know his surname, he must be pretty close to the scene, more than just another spectator—
Of course. He was a fighter, or maybe an ex-fighter. I didn’t recognize him, but then I’d only been going to the fights since Alec got involved.
Aedan shook his head, looking even more troubled, now. The shake dislodged the hood and it fell the rest of the way, exposing his neck. He’d been….ruined there. It wasn’t just a simple, raised scar. I could see where something had cut deep and then twisted, tearing as it went. Then the wounds had been inexpertly stitched up and thick scars had formed, stretching down under his collar.
I felt my heart tear in two. It wasn’t that it was ugly. It was that someone had done something so vicious and cruel to him. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that it didn’t make him any less beautiful. But like an idiot, I just stood there, staring.
He caught me looking and jerked his hood back up, throwing his face into shadow. I cursed myself, trying to think of a way to apologize, but the damage was done.
“I gotta go,” he said, and dropped my hand.
I felt something wrench, soul-deep. This was wrong. I knew, somehow, that he was important—maybe the most important person who’d ever walked into my life. But he was already walking, his powerful shoulders squared as if to fend off any attempt to stop him. With his hood up and his back turned, he was suddenly closed off and distant.
And alone.
“Wait!” My hand was tingling where he’d held it. I grabbed it in my other hand, not wanting to lose that warm glow. “How do I find you again?”
He kept walking. I could hear the sudden bitterness in his voice. “You don’t.”
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Punching and Kissing is out now
Growing and Kissing Page 28