I practically ran down the steps, Kish close behind, and charged into my room. Standing against the back wall was Teul, dressed as ‘one with nature’. Beside him, on the ground, was his machete and knife, both in their scabbards. We ran to each other and locked each other in a tight embrace. He looked at me with bright eyes, no grin. “Where the madafok are we … and what about the headdress?”
I let him go and I walked a little away, pensive. I turned and pointed towards Kish. “This is Kish, Nabe Kaloonte’ to Ajawinel K’an II of Ox Witz Ha. Kish. This is Teul.” I looked back at Teul. “My friend, we are in Xibalba. About the headdress, later.”
“I know I am somewhere very very strange, Fuck, but Xibalba … the city of the Maya Underworld?” He shook his head. “I suppose I should be madafok crazy, everything I have gone through. Madafok!” I had to smile, not only at his total bewilderment, but the mere fact that he was, once again, with me and I could hear his ‘madafok’. And you’re madafok smiling.”
“I’m just so glad, gladto see you safe. I know all this must be overwhelming, Teul, but all of you knew, and I said it outright, that we were going on a strange and dangerous journey. The carnage at Santa Cruz told you that. Sisimito … he’s known here as Mahanamtz … he lives. He knew we would follow him and he wanted me away from him forever, or dead. That’s why he forcefully guided us to this place.”
“And Kish? What is he in all this?”
“Kish has been assigned to guard me by the Death Gods.”
“The Death Gods. I’ve heard of them. Yochi mentioned them, but who the madafok are the Death Gods?”
“You soon need to prepare, Waach,” interrupted Kish.
“Waach?” questioned Teul. “You are not a waach.”
“That is the name I have been given while I am in Xibalba. Use that one. No other.” Teul glared at Kish.
“Prepare for what?” grunted Teul. “And Kish? If he guards you, then he’s an enemy. You two don’t act like enemies.”
“Teul. There is a fokin lot going on. There is no way I can explain everything, at this time. Kish is not the enemy, but that is between us. It stays in these quarters. I met Kish during the battle between Ajawinel K’an II and K’uxaj, Ajawinel of Maxam. I told you about that battle as I spoke with all of you at Burgos Camp. Kish died in that battle, that’s why he’s here.”
“It’s just madafok hard to believe. Hard to accept. Madafok!” Spit actually flew from his mouth.
“Sit down, Teul. Be calm.” He glared at me. “Tell me about the rest of the section. What happened after we were dragged into the underground river? Let’s all sit.”
“Be calm, he says. Be madafok calm. Please tell me what there is to be madafok calm about.” Teul sat heavily on one of the stools. “We lost everything except our machetes and knives and the clothes we wore. Somehow, we were not separated, kept bumping into each other in the dark waters. I thought we were all as good as madafok dead. I even prayed, Fuc … Waach. I even madafok prayed.” He looked downward, very emotional, almost losing it for a moment. “Then I … we lost consciousness. I regained awareness slowly, and as I realized I was really alive, I became brave enough to open my eyes.” He looked at me and chuckled. “There was daylight, but a strange daylight. The sky was not normal. There was just a dullish brightish reddish color above me. That’s when I knew that something was not right, not only not right but that something was very madafok wrong. I sat up. There was a line of Warriors, dressed only in skimpy loincloths and lej-xajäbs, standing or sitting around me in a large circle, carrying short spears, long spears, stone clubs with wooden handles, bows and arrows, wooden axes with some kind of blade. Some of the Warriors carried long shields, others short round shields. Yet, they didn’t look hostile. I looked around and saw other men, in our uniforms, lying dead or unconscious and I got up quickly to go to them. The Warriors around me did not stop me. The rest of our section were all there, breathing, but still out of it; all were there except you. One of the men from the line came towards me, but did not seem menacing. He told me his name was Yochi357 and that he was Nacon to the Warriors. He looked at the unconscious men and said, “They will live.”
“I was shocked that I could understand him, then I realized he was talking to me in Ke’kchi, which, although I am Mopan, I could understand. I think my being able to answer him lessened the tenseness of our situation significantly. I asked him where we were. He did not answer. I told him there was one more of us and asked him if they found you. He told me that we were the only ones they found and pulled from, fromsome river. They had been carrying us and were now resting, but as soon as the others were awake, we would travel west to the city. He didn’t tell me the name of the city. I was going to ask him, but he raised his hand to quieten me. He told me to ask no more questions and to rest, that I needed it.
“As the men began to stir I went to each, ensured that he was okay, and helped him up. We were all battered and bruised, with many small cuts, but we were good. Yochi came to us, instructed us to take off all our clothes and burn them. That’s when I really noticed the landscape, how desolate and volcanic it was. I didn’t ask why we had to burn our clothes, but concluded that the reason had to do with how different they were. Burning them was easy. We just lay stones on top of them and as those stones were madafok hot, the clothes just burst into flames. Yet, and I couldn’t understand why, he let us keep our machetes and knives.”
“It seems that the word ‘fuck’ and its many variations are often used in Pusilhá,” stated Kish.
“Pusilhá?” Teul looked very bewildered, once again.
“Let’s leave that alone for now, Teul. You were allowed to keep your weapons because you are a Warrior. It is believed that a Warrior and his weapons are one. If your weapons were taken from you, the gods, especially Ek Chuah, God of War, would look unfavorably upon it. The gods would regard the act as having a Warrior subjected to an unfair disadvantage,” I said.
He stared at me, indulgently. “Oh! We have a God of War. Other gods as well. Thanks for enlightening me.” He shook his head, slowly. “Well, I thank the gods for that privilege,” he answered, nonchalantly.
“And the others, where are they?”
“I don’t know.” He frowned. “There seemed to be something going on for as we walked, every now and again, Yochi and a few of his men had a briefing and they kept looking at us. That made me very worried as I didn’t know what the madafok they were discussing. After one of those briefings, Yochi came to me. I was relieved when he only asked who was the Nacon of our fireteam. I quickly indicated to Medic. Yochi stared at Medic then chuckled. I was sure he was looking at Medic’s skin. Who wouldn’t? He was tanned except for his ass which was very white. Anyway, he spoke to Medic and I translated. Yochi seemed puzzled that Medic could not speak our language, but he didn’t ask anything so I didn’t try to explain. He informed us that we would be taken to the city. He still didn’t say which city and I didn’t bother to ask. After all, it looked like we had arrived in Hell. Knowing the name of the city was not going to help me … us and I honestly thought that the less I knew was probably better for my very troubled mind. Anyway, he continued that we had to go to the Council Place of the Lords, whatever the madafok that was, because we had to be presented to the Death Lords, whoever the madafok they were, so that it could be decided what to do with us. That’s when I almost shit myself. Death Lords! I didn’t like the sound of that and especially, “What to do with us.” Then Yochi’s face changed to one of concern and he said quietly to Medic, “You and your Warriors will be safe” after which he went back to his Warriors. I wasn’t convinced of that. We continued travelling west towards the city, naked as we were born except for our machetes and knives. It didn’t seem to bother them in the least. It certainly didn’t bother me, perhaps because I had to concentrate on not shitting myself, I was so madafok frightened. I did wish we had on lej-xajäbs though as the road burned my feet. As we walked, however, I lost my fear to
amazement because of what we saw.”
I nodded, saying, “I have seen it.”
Teul nodded in return. “All those temples and everything else.” Teul shook his head. “Anyway, we were taken to this Council Place of the Lords where we met someone like a priest called the Ahau Can Mai. He looked at us as if we were slaves to be bought then he instructed Yochi to take us to cells and keep us separated. He would inform the Lords about us and we were to be kept locked away until the Death Gods decided what to do with us strangers. Yochi took us out of the Council Place of the Lords and we walked down the road we had come then turned to the right and into the courtyard of a military barracks. We were put in partly underground cells, one man per cell with one of Yochi’s Warriors to guard each cell. There was a mat to sleep on, a pot with a lid, which I supposed we were to shit and piss in; I hope so because I used it right away, cleaning with pieces of bark that were nearby. I was so exhausted that I just threw myself down on the mat and was out like a light. I supposed that the other men went to sleep too.”
“Did you get to see them again?”
“No. I was kept in the cell, given food and water, but no light. I exercised, slept on and off trying to get as much rest as possible. Also, when I was asleep, there was no fear. Nothing else happened until my guard came in, woke me, and said, “Ko’one’ex”. I saw that the sky was red through the slits that worked as windows, so I assumed it was daytime. I got up, pissed, and then began seeing visions of myself lying on a stone altar, having my chest ripped open, and seeing my heart being offered to the gods. That was madafok crazy. He must have seen the look in my face for he smiled, looking as if we were together in some kind of conspiracy, then he said, “Ka xi’ik teech utzil.”
“Good luck?”
“Yes, Waach. Good Luck. That made me more madafok worried and I was ready to shit again. That didn’t happen as he ordered me to pick up my mat, brought me here, and told me to wait. Then he did another strange thing. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You have a brave and powerful Nacon”. Then he left. I didn’t know why he said that or how he knew that, but then I knew you were alive and would come into my world again.” Teul’s eyes moistened and he struggled to continue. “Would you mind telling me what the madafok is going on, the only brave and powerful Nacon I have? And don’t smile. I’m not used to this … these emotions.”
I did as he ordered and hid my smile. “In order for us to leave Xibalba, which we must do in order to find Mahanamtz and Molly, I have to face several trials. I have already survived two, three in fact. The first, actually several, was on the sacbeob, road, to Xibalba. For my second, which was the first of the Council Chamber of the Lords, I had to identify some of the Demon Lords.”
“Demon Lords?”
“Yes. Demon Lords.”
“Death Gods! Demon Lords!” He shook his head and stared at me. “How did you do that? You don’t know any madafok Demon Lords.”
“I will tell you more about all that later.” Teul started to open his mouth. “Later!” He closed his mouth. I nodded, knowing that he had realized that I did not wish to speak about that, at the time. “There are six Houses of Trials. Last night, I was in Dark House, Ee’hoch’e’en Ja. I survived. I had requested that for each house I survived, one of you would be released to me. The Death Gods agreed, but they choose who is released. However, if I do not survive all six houses, we all stay in Xibalba forever.”
“And here I was thinking that you chose me.” He grinned then lost it almost immediately. “Madafok! That’s not good. Staying in Xibalba forever. But … what happened to you? You look beaten up. Even after one of your brawls you haven’t looked like this.”
“My brawls?” He grinned. “Let’s leave that for later too.” I decided not to tell him that, if I failed, the man to be released would suffer many horrible deaths. There was little else I wanted to say so I shrugged my shoulders. “Tonight, I enter the Ke’el Ja which is Cold House or Rattling House.”
“What’s that,” asked Teul.
I looked towards Kish who explained. “The Ke’el Ja is full of extremely cold drafts and falling ice. Some of the falling ice can be the size of a large ol, or a fat squash. If you are hit by one of them, you can have your skull mashed in.”
“That’s not good,” repeated Teul. He looked at Kish then at me. “Are you sure he isn’t our enemy?”
“Nothing is good in this place,” counselled Kish, ignoring Teul’s remark. “Something may appear good, but it’s often all deceit and trickery of the Death Gods and the Demon Lords.”
“And do you have to go through all those houses?” asked Teul.
“As I said, I do or we’ll never leave Xibalba. And I have to go through the entire house or the trial is not won.”
“How will you withstand the cold? All you have is a wrap-around skirt … like a madafok tropical kilt. Not even a woman’s full úúk … your cock and balls will freeze off.” He shook his head.” It’s more than I have on, but even if I were fully dressed, I wouldn’t be going into any cold storage. He looked towards Kish. “When will I get some clothes?”
“You are a prisoner. That’s why you are naked. It means nothing.”
“Am I not free now? I have been released from the cell.”
“You are not in a cell, but you remain a prisoner until Waach wins all trials and the ballgame. Only then will you be free. When it’s time for you to play Pitz, however, you will be equipped and dressed.”
Teul jumped up, glaring at Kish. “Equipped and dressed for the ballgame? You expect me to play a madafok ballgame when my life is in danger?” He paused, looked at me, deep in thought. “Don’t tell me it’s that madafok ballgame you told us you played in Ox Witz Ha?’ I nodded. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “What kind of place is this?” He frowned. “I don’t even know how to play the madafok game.”
“Don’t lose control, Teul. You are a soldier. Do I need to remind you of that? Sit again,” I ordered, speaking somewhat harshly. “The game is called Pitz …”
“I don’t care what it’s called. Pitz! What a madafok name.”
“Talking about names,” I said, mischievously, trying to lighten the mood, “if you continue saying madafok so often, that will be your new name.”
He glared at me. “I don’t give a madafok.”
I shrugged my shoulders, giving up my attempt at levity. “I know this is difficult, but I remind you again that you are a soldier, not any soldier but a soldier under my command. Also, you are Mopan Maya. You are in the Underworld and now a Warrior. You will behave as one. There is no court-martial here, they simply remove your heart.” We stared at each other, my stare stern, his stare filled with anger. “As I told you at Burgos, I had to play the ballgame and I didn’t know how to play it either. My team won and I helped in that victory.” I put my hand on his shoulder; he didn’t shrug it away. “You will do well. I know you will. I know you. You’re not the little piece of shit you were when you forced yourself under my wing. A bigger piece of shit, yes,” I added, grinning.
“Yay! Thanks,” he replied, his anger somewhat diffused.
“The game is similar to football and we’ve been playing football from the time we no longer pissed on our feet. I will teach you what I know.” I looked towards Kish. He nodded. “And Kish will teach you what he knows.”
We were all silent for a moment then Teul asked, “How many of us will be on the team?” I looked towards Kish.
The Ahau Can Mai informed me that the Demon Lords have instructed him that it is the wish of the Death Gods that, in compliance with Waach’s request, one of his Warriors is to be released after his success at each House of Trials, should he win, of course. If he triumphs and goes on to the ballgame, the team will comprise Waach and his six Warriors. If Waach fails at any point, by the blessings of the Death Gods he will still play the ballgame, but only with those he has had released. The others will, of course, suffer several deaths as a precursor to t
he game, providing great entertainment.”
I thought Teul was going to explode. “You didn’t tell me about that.” His fury seemed to make him swell up. It was ridiculous and unexplainable, but my mind flashed back to school and to one of Aesop’s Fables Father Stiobhan had me read. It was called ‘The Frog and the Ox’, a story concerning a frog that was motivated by its envy of an ox and so tried to inflate itself to the size of the ox, but burst in the attempt. Why the fok am I thinking about school and Father Stiobhan again? I pulled myself together, didn’t laugh, remained calm. “It’s okay, Teul. Listen to Kish. Listen to me and calm yourself. That’s an order. All I have to do is to win the trials,” I tried to reassure him. “I will win. Win them all.”
He looked at me and mumbled, “Sure!” He looked down, apparently unconvinced. “Waach! What a name.”
“Yes. Use Waach! As I said, that’s the name the Council uses.”
Teul shook his head and I saw his effort to lighten up. “I have never in my life met anyone with so many madafok names. You’re Sarge. You’re … were Stephen. You’re Chiac. You’re Eutimio. You’re Fuck. Taat calls you Paal. Now, you’re Waach. Madafok!”
“He’s also T’oit’ik-jolom,” added Kish.
Teul glanced at Kish. “See there. Another madafok name.”
“Where’s the grin, Teul. Normally, when you’d say something like that, you’d be grinning.”
“There’s nothing normal in this madafok place.” He sighed loudly. “There’s nothing to grin about, and I’m worried about you and the other men of the section. Me also, by the way.” He knitted his brow. “I’m too young to die.” He threw his hands into the air. “I haven’t even fucked enough yet. You know how many years of fucking awaits me?”
Sisimito II--Xibalba Page 34