by Diana Palmer
He dropped his hand as if her mouth had burned it and turned away. “Let’s have coffee.”
He didn’t say another word until he was halfway through with his coffee.
“You’re brooding again,” she accused.
He looked up, both eyebrows arching.
She made a face. “We can go back now, if you want to. I don’t want to make you wait for the eruption of Old Faithful. I imagine you’ve got things to do.”
“I don’t mind waiting,” he replied. His narrowed eyes were on her face. “I’ve never seen it go off, either.”
Something in the hardness of his face made her curious. “You’ve been here before, haven’t you, Blair?” she asked softly.
His jaw hardened. “I spent my wedding night here.”
She caught her breath and looked guilty. “Oh, darn, I’m sorry!”
“You didn’t know.” He looked away. “It was my idea to come, anyway, not yours.”
That made it worse, somehow. He was reliving a failed marriage. Niki hadn’t known about the connection to Yellowstone. Impulsively, she slid her small hand over his.
“You’re always saying that I’ve let a bad experience lock me up in the past. Aren’t you doing that, too, Blair?” she asked quietly.
His eyes were troubled. He felt the coldness of her hand. He turned it, locking it with his own. “I had great expectations.”
“Did you?”
“She was beautiful, cultured, experienced,” he said, smiling wryly. “She said she loved me. I married her and brought her here—” he looked around them “—to let her prove it.”
She waited, just watching him, curious.
He laughed coldly. “She smiled. All the way through it. The whole time.”
Her lips turned up. “She enjoyed it. Why should that make you unhappy?”
He stared at her. Gaped at her. She had no clue what he was talking about. He swallowed, and averted his eyes. “Drink your coffee. We can look around the gift shop until it’s time to go.”
He’d let go of her hand. She didn’t understand why he was so disturbed. Perhaps it was one of those male things, a broodiness that women didn’t understand. She finished her coffee, waited while he paid the check then followed him out into the huge gift shop.
* * *
SHE FOUND A bracelet she loved, rawhide with a small round piece of deer’s horn attached.
“They have silver and turquoise,” he reminded her, puzzled by her delight with the simple, very inexpensive trinket.
“I like this. It’s elemental, isn’t it?” she added. “A piece of life itself.”
She was a constant puzzle to him. Her father was well-to-do, but nowhere near as wealthy as Blair was. She could have picked the most expensive thing in the store, and he’d have bought it for her. She had to know that. But she was like a child in her desires; she liked the simple things. He remembered his wife and her greed, the way she searched out the most expensive diamonds she could find in a jewelry shop and begged for them when he was dating her. She’d found a very expensive set of turquoise jewelry here, in fact, and demanded that Blair buy it for her. He’d been so smitten that day, just after they were married, that he’d have bought her the entire inventory. Then he’d taken her to bed, and all his dreams had died...
“You’re doing it again,” she said when they were walking out toward Old Faithful.
“Doing what?” he asked abruptly.
“Brooding.”
He stopped and turned toward her. “You don’t really like expensive things, do you?” he asked bluntly.
She blinked. “Well, I’m partial to emeralds and pearls,” she said. “But my jewelry box is full of them. And I really love this bracelet.” She was puzzled.
“My wife picked up a squash blossom necklace, earrings and bracelet set here,” he said, referring to the highly expensive pieces of Native American jewelry, silver and turquoise, that had been in the display case, probably from a Navajo artist even though it was a Wyoming shop. “And had me buy it for her.”
She searched his black eyes quietly. “You loved her very much, didn’t you?” she asked softly.
His face hardened. “Yes. At first.”
“I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out for you.”
He was scowling. His hands, in his pockets, were clenched. He hated the memories, especially how it had been here, in this hotel, with his wife that first night. He hated the humiliation, the crushing blow to his pride, his manhood. He hated how it had locked him up inside himself.
“You have no idea, do you? About life?” he wondered aloud. His face hardened as he looked down at her. “You’re still in patent leather shoes and frilly little dresses, gathering Easter eggs in the park.”
Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
He turned away. “It’s going off.”
She followed him to the geyser, adrift. She didn’t understand what he was saying, what it meant. He was sad. She wondered why.
Then she remembered what he’d said about his wife. Why did it make him angry that she’d smiled at him? For heaven’s sake, didn’t he want her to enjoy what happened between them on their wedding night? Men were so odd.
She put it to the back of her mind as the wind blew the spray from the geyser into her face, and she laughed like a delighted child.
CHAPTER FOUR
BLAIR LOOKED DOWN at Niki, at the glorious beauty of her young face, when the spray from Old Faithful hit her and she laughed. She held up her hands, enjoying the mist. She was so young. His heart clenched at the sight she made. Other men, even married ones, were staring at her, their expressions as revealing as Blair’s. Niki was like spring personified.
The spray was making patterns on her bodice. Under it, her nipples were hard from the cool sting of the water. She laughed, glancing at two young men nearby who were staring at her so intently that Blair felt himself bristle. The way they were staring at her was disturbing. One of them started to move closer, smiling like a predator. She stopped what she was doing and glanced at Blair worriedly.
“Come here,” Blair said in a hushed tone, and curved her into his side, holding her so that her soft breasts were pressed gently into the warmth of his broad chest. He gave the approaching man a glare so hot that he went back to his friend, and they quickly left the geyser.
“Why were they staring at me like that?” she asked under her breath.
He looked down into her wide, curious gray eyes. Eyes like a September fog, he thought to himself. Soft and warm, full of dreams.
“Blair?” she prompted.
He bent his head so that his lips were right against one small ear. “Your body is reacting to the mist, but they thought it was them.” He said it through his teeth. He didn’t like other men staring at her. “Especially the one who started to talk to you.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispered, shaken by the feel of his powerful body so close to her own, by the heavy thud of his heartbeat right against her.
He drew back. The black eyes that stared down into hers were narrow and glittery with some undefined emotion. “Don’t you?” he asked, and he moved away from her just a breath, his eyes on her bodice.
She looked down at herself, but she didn’t see anything that should disturb someone. Her wide eyes searched his.
She was so damned innocent that he wanted to throw back his head and scream. She didn’t know. She had no idea what secrets her body was betraying.
He half turned toward the erupting geyser. “I’ll explain it to you when we get back to the car. Watch the geyser.”
His arm contracted. She pressed her cheek against his broad chest, aware of hard muscle and soft, cushy hair under his cotton shirt. She loved the way it felt, being close to him. The people around them vanished. The geys
er was erupting, and she hardly noticed it. Blair’s arm was strong and comforting, and just for these few minutes, there were only the two of them in the whole world. It was a moment out of time, out of space, when the impossible seemed possible. She closed her eyes, savoring his breath against her forehead, drinking in the sexy, masculine scent of his cologne, loving the warmth of him against the faint chill of early spring air.
Blair was trying not to notice his own body’s reaction to Niki. She was sixteen years his junior. They were a generation apart. But her breasts were firm and soft, and he wanted to touch them with his mouth. She needed a younger man. Her heartbeat was so strong, she was shaking, he could feel it. She was struggling to breathe normally. He looked down at her pretty bow-shaped mouth and wondered if she’d ever been kissed by anyone who knew how.
“Gosh, that was great!” a young boy exclaimed from nearby. “Can we stay until it goes off again, Dad? Please?”
There was a deep chuckle. “Sorry, kiddo, we’ve got hotel reservations in Billings, and it’s almost an eight-hour drive.”
“Awww, Dad...”
The voices drifted away.
Blair moved back from Niki, averting his eyes. “We’d better get moving, too,” he added. “It’s a long drive home.”
“It really was something to see,” she said, not quite meeting his eyes as she smiled. “I’ll remember it all my life.” Truth be told, the geyser wasn’t what she’d remember, but she wasn’t about to confess that to him.
* * *
HE PUT HER into the car and slid in beside her.
“You said you’d tell me what happened, at the geyser,” she reminded him.
He stared at her quietly, his black eyes narrow and somber. “Niki, what you know about men could be written on the head of a straight pin,” he sighed. “You don’t have a clue what was going on.”
“You could just tell me,” she prompted with a smile.
His big hand touseled her long, pale blond hair affectionately. “It will sound stark.”
“So?” She searched his eyes. “You’re my friend.”
“I am.” He drew in a long breath. “Honey, a woman’s body gives away secrets. The spray hit your blouse, and the tips of your breasts went hard.”
She flushed, but she didn’t look away. “And...?”
“And cold water isn’t the only thing that makes them that way. Desire has the same effect. You were getting some pretty intense attention from two men nearby, especially when you smiled at them. They thought it was a come-on,” he added quietly.
“I...didn’t know!” She averted her eyes and folded her arms across her breasts. “Oh, gosh!” She grimaced. “I went all the way through college, and I didn’t know that, about my own body,” she added miserably.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said roughly. “Niki, I never meant to embarrass you. I’m sorry.”
She shifted, her eyes out the window as she fought down raging self-consciousness. “They never talked about things like that in health class,” she said. “Dad never had that sort of conversation with me, and Edna’s just as repressed as he is. I didn’t know!”
He pulled her into his arms and wrapped her up tight, burying his face in her throat, against her soft hair that smelled of wildflowers.
“You’re so uninhibited,” he groaned. “I love it. Men want you, honey. It’s a very natural reaction. You’re very pretty.”
She drew in a breath, so happy that she could have died of it. She sheltered in his arms, feeling safe, secure. Her face nestled in his warm throat. She had to fight the hunger to kiss it.
She breathed in the male scent of him, heady and delightful. “Does it always happen, when women feel desire?” she asked in a husky, shy tone.
“Yes.”
“Does it happen to men, too?” she asked suddenly.
He chuckled. “Yes. But men swell in other places, as well.”
Her face was flaming. “Blair! I’m not that dim!”
“Never mind,” he mused. “We’ll leave that discussion for another time. Right now,” he said, moving her away, “we need to get home. It will be dark before we get there.”
She buckled her seat belt. “Thanks, Blair,” she said without looking at him.
“For what?”
“Explaining it to me.” She shrugged. “I’m just grass-green.”
“We all were, once, Niki. Don’t sweat it.”
She drew in a long breath, and her fingers went to the bracelet he bought her. “Thanks for my bracelet, too.” She glanced at him. “I’m sorry the hotel brought back sad memories for you.”
“I went into it thinking it would be the perfect marriage,” he sighed.
She smiled. “I remember. You were engaged, and you were so happy. I hoped that it would be a good marriage, that you’d have kids and she’d take care of you...” She stopped when she saw his expression. “Sorry,” she said quickly. “Will there be any more animals in the road to stop and look at, do you think?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Some, perhaps. But we’re going back another way. We probably won’t see many.”
“I’ll keep my eyes peeled for deer, just the same,” she added. “I remember one of Daddy’s friends ran into one on the highway. It totaled his car and almost killed him. The deer ran away, but he found it dead the next day in a ditch near the accident.”
“They can cause serious injuries,” he agreed.
“Do you hunt?” she asked.
He smiled. “I don’t have the time,” he said. “Business takes up most of my life.” His face hardened. “I haven’t had time for a lot of things.”
“If I’m hiding at home, from men, aren’t you hiding in your business from life?” she wondered aloud, then ground her teeth together at having made such a personal remark. “I’m sorry, Blair. I shouldn’t have said that.”
His hand had contracted on the steering wheel until the knuckles were white. But it slowly relaxed. “The one time I didn’t hide, I had my heart torn out of me,” he said coldly. “Never again.”
She winced at the raw anguish in his tone. He’d loved his wife. It must have been pure hell to end up like this, to lose her. But it hurt to hear him say that, about Elise. Niki loved him, and he was never going to love her back.
She swallowed. She hated his wife for the way she’d treated him, but there was no accounting for human emotions. People couldn’t help who they loved. She glanced at him. “Isn’t there a chance that she might come back?” she asked quietly. She wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” The way he said it went through her like an arrow. He’d never used that tone with her in all the time they’d known each other.
She started to apologize again and thought better of it. She turned her attention out the window and watched the landscape passing by until darkness fell over it.
* * *
IT WAS A long, silent ride home after that. He pulled up in the driveway of the Ashton ranch. She didn’t wait for him to open her door. She climbed out and went ahead of him through the front door. The television was on in the living room. She had a glimpse of her father’s blond hair before Blair caught her arm and pulled her right back out the door.
He closed it again and looked down at her in the dim light from the windows. “It’s hard for me to talk about her,” he said after a minute. “I’m not used to sharing things, personal things, with anyone. But that’s no excuse for snapping at you the way I did. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she managed. “I won’t do it again.” She forced a smile, moved away from him and went inside. She called to her father before she made an excuse and went up to her room. She managed to hold the tears back until then.
* * *
WHEN SH
E GOT up the next morning, after a sleepless night, her face showed the ravages she couldn’t camouflage even with makeup.
She went downstairs and hesitated at the dining room door. Nobody was up except Blair. He was sitting at the table, dressed in gray slacks and a yellow knit designer shirt, sipping black coffee.
He looked up when he heard her. His own face looked worn, as well.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” she replied. “Is Edna up?”
He shook his head. “I made coffee.”
“Thanks.” She went into the kitchen and fetched a cup from the cupboard. She was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she felt the warmth of his big body behind her. His hands went to her waist and tightened. She felt his breath at the back of her head.
“You didn’t sleep, did you?” he asked deeply.
She swallowed. “I said stupid things...”
He turned her around to face him. He didn’t let go of her waist. “So did I,” he said curtly. “Stupid, hurtful things. I can’t leave like this. Not with you hating me.”
“I don’t...hate you,” she managed.
He smoothed back her long blond hair, his black eyes intent on hers. “It’s hard for me to share things,” he began. “I keep it all inside. I hate my marriage. I hate remembering it.”
“I know. It was my fault. I should never have brought it up.”
He drew in a long breath. His eyes had dark circles beneath them. He looked so tired. She reached up impulsively and smoothed the frown between his eyes. “Don’t brood so much,” she said softly, her eyes adoring him. “Life is sweet. Every day is a miracle. You have to look ahead, not back, Blair.”
One big thumb smoothed over her soft mouth. His eyes were oddly intent on it. “So they say,” he replied quietly.