by Neesa Hart
She prided herself on her self-restraint and common sense. Rafael was offering her a trip into glorious instability. Immersed as she’d been in Abigail’s diaries, reading of the woman’s passionate affair with del Flores, of the risks she took to unite with her lover, Cora had begun to feel long-suppressed needs fluttering to the surface.
It was almost as if Rafael had tripped a hidden trigger deep in her soul. A part of her said she’d regret it later, though she’d begun to suspect that the fear of regret—and all the unfulfilled longings and forsaken dreams that came with it—was a worse fate than regret itself.
As if the thought shocked her, she blinked at her reflection. “Get a grip, Cora,” she muttered as she tucked a strand of pale hair behind her ear. She shook her head to clear it, and the noise from the kitchen told her that Kaitlin, Molly and Liza were, with any luck, finishing their breakfast. The familiar voice of duty calling gave her a measure of comfort.
She breezed into the kitchen to find Molly feeding Melody strips of bacon. “Is everybody almost ready?” Cora asked.
Kaitlin shot her a wary look. “Why are we going to the beach?”
“I thought maybe you’d like to drive down the coast and get out of town for a while. We haven’t had much time to do that since you’ve been here.”
Molly looked at her inquisitively. “Can we go in the water?”
“Yes. I packed your swimsuits in the bag.”
Kaitlin continued to look sullen while she played with her cereal. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here.”
Cora suppressed a sigh and braced one shoulder against the doorjamb. “It’ll do us all good to get some fresh air.”
“I want to swim in the ocean,” Liza chimed in.
Kaitlin glared at her. Molly looked anxiously at her older sister, but said nothing. Cora waited for an outburst. Finally Kaitlin looked at her. “I want to call Mama. I want to talk to her.”
Damn Lauren, Cora thought. “I know, sweetie. I don’t have a phone number for her.”
“She said she’d call and give us one,” Kaitlin insisted.
And typical Lauren, she’d neglected to do so. Cora nodded. “I know.”
Kaitlin dropped her spoon to the table and pushed her chair back. “Then why hasn’t she?”
“I’m sure she’s just busy.”
“She is not,” Kaitlin said angrily. “She just doesn’t care. The only thing she cares about is George.”
“Kaitlin—” Cora held out a hand.
“I’m going upstairs,” Kaitlin announced. “And I’m not going to the beach. It’s dumb.” She ran out of the room, leaving a stricken-looking Liza and Molly staring at Cora for guidance.
Cora managed a tight smile. “I’ll go talk to her. Molly, why don’t you put the dishes in the sink?”
Liza clutched Benedict Bunny closer to her chest. “Can we still go to the water, Aunt Cora?”
“Yes. We’re going.”
“Without Kaitlin?” Molly asked, dumping two bowls in the sink.
“Kaitlin’s going, too.”
“She doesn’t want to,” Molly said.
“Maybe I can get her to change her mind.”
Liza looked at her wide-eyed, as if that seemed like the gravest of impossibilities. Cora gently ruffled her hair. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You and Molly get dressed, and we’ll be at the beach before you know it.”
“Can I wear my new orange shorts?” Liza asked.
“Sure.”
Molly looked over her shoulder. “Me, too?”
“You, too.” Cora added as she turned for the door. “I’ll talk to Kaitlin.”
She was halfway up the stairs when she heard the knock at her front door. A quick glance through the transom revealed the top of Rafael’s dark head. “I’ll get it,” Liza yelled as she ran from the kitchen. Cora deliberately headed up the stairs, leaving Rafael on his own with Liza and Molly.
She heard Liza’s exuberant greeting as she turned the corner toward Kaitlin’s room. Her knock yielded no answer. She waited several long seconds, then tried again.
“Go away,” Kaitlin muttered from inside the room.
Cora gathered her calm and gently pushed the door open. “Hi.”
Kaitlin was lying on her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. When Cora entered the room, she turned away to face the wall. “I told you to go away,” she said sullenly.
“I heard you.”
“Then what are you doing in here? This is my room.”
Without comment, Cora made her way across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Kaitlin scooted as far from her as possible, until she was practically pressed to the wall. Cora remembered too many times when she’d felt like that, wanted to disappear. She’d resented her own mother’s semi-desertions just as Kaitlin resented Lauren’s. “You know what, Kaitlin?” she asked quietly.
Her niece didn’t answer. Cora forged ahead. “I think it’s really rotten that your mother hasn’t called. And if I were you, I’d be mad, too.”
The child visibly stilled. Cora laid a tentative hand on her back and began a slow soothing stroke. Briefly she considered the wisdom of what she was about to say. It seemed disloyal to criticize Lauren to her own children, but Kaitlin was old enough to know if she was being patronized. Cora had too many memories of simply wishing that someone cared enough to tell her the truth to ignore her niece’s need for empathy. “Did you know that when I was about your age, my mother used to do the same thing?” No answer. “She’d leave me and your mother with my father or another relative and go on a trip somewhere without us. Sometimes we didn’t hear from her for weeks.”
Several seconds ticked by. “Were you mad?” Kaitlin asked.
“Usually. And it hurt my feelings. It wasn’t a very nice thing to do.”
Kaitlin still didn’t look at her. “Molly and Liza get really upset.”
“Mmm. I’m sure they do.”
“What did you say when you saw your mother again?”
“I used to think about that while she was away. I’d think of all the questions I wanted to ask her about where she’d been and who she’d been with.”
“My mother is with George.”
Cora ignored that. If she talked about Lauren’s affair with George, she’d probably reveal more than she should. “But when she got back,” she continued, “I never asked her anything.”
A teary-eyed Kaitlin turned to face her. “Why not?”
“I don’t know.” Cora shrugged. “Maybe I thought she wouldn’t tell me. Maybe I didn’t want to know what she had to say. We’d just go home and wait until the next time she went away.”
Kaitlin wiped a hand over her flushed cheeks to clear away her lingering tears. “It’s mean,” she whispered, as if confessing a dreadful sin.
Cora couldn’t agree more. “It is mean. People shouldn’t make promises they don’t intend to keep.” She thought about trying to apologize for Lauren’s behavior, but didn’t see the value. “And I’m sorry it makes you feel bad.”
“Why does she do it?”
Good question, Cora thought. “Maybe because her own mother used to do it, so she never learned any better.”
“You wouldn’t do that,” Kaitlin said. “You always call us, even when you’re only out for a little while.”
Cora nodded. “I know.”
Kaitlin sat up on the bed. “She makes me really mad, Aunt Cora.”
“She makes me mad, too,” Cora confessed.
Kaitlin drew a shaky breath and set aside her pillow. “Molly and Liza really want to go to the beach today, don’t they?”
“Yes, but Dr. Adriano is here. He was going to go with us. If you really want to stay home, then he can take Molly and Liza, and I’ll stay here with you.”
Wide-eyed, Kaitlin asked, “You would?”
“Sure.” Cora knew the concept of an adult putting aside her personal wishes on a child’s behalf was alien to Kaitlin. Lauren would never dream of changing her plans to accommod
ate her children. “Do you want me to?”
Kaitlin thought it over, then shook her head. “No, I’ll go.”
“You’re sure? You don’t have to.”
“I know.” She scooted to the side of the bed to sit next to Cora. “Aunt Cora?”
“What?”
“Dr. Adriano told us we could call him Rafael.”
“He did?”
“Yes. Can we?”
“If he said so.”
“Mama makes us call George ‘Uncle’ George.”
Cora frowned. “Ugh.”
Her expression made Kaitlin laugh. “I don’t like it, either.”
“What’s George like?”
“He’s okay. He’s not mean or anything.” She held her arms out in front of her stomach. “But he’s kind of fat. And he doesn’t have much hair.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I don’t know why Mama likes him.”
Because George, Cora thought cynically, owned a villa in the south of France and Lord knew what else. “There’s more to liking a person than what they look like,” she said carefully.
“I know.” Kaitlin flashed her a broad grin. “But you know what else?”
“What?”
“I think Rafael is very handsome.”
That made Cora laugh. “You do?”
“Yes. Don’t you?”
She hesitated, then nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“He’s way better-looking than any man Mama’s ever dated.”
“Really?” she said.
“Yeah, sure.” Kaitlin rubbed her hands on her thighs. “If Mama saw him, she’d have a fit.”
That was probably true, Cora mused. “Maybe,” she said aloud.
Kaitlin pushed her bangs off her flushed face with a slight sigh. “I guess I gotta get dressed.”
Cora took that as her cue. She rose to leave the room. “Liza and Molly are wearing shorts. We’re going to be outdoors a lot. You’d probably be more comfortable if you wore shorts, too.”
Kaitlin stared at her. “Mama never tells me what to wear.”
Cora filed that piece of information in her growing dossier of Lauren’s faults. She doubted her sister was interested enough in the comfort of her children to even consider something so trivial. Their woeful lack of appropriate summer clothing had borne testimony to that. “Neither am I,” she assured Kaitlin. “I just thought you’d like to know.”
Kaitlin nodded. “I think I’ll wear the new purple shorts you bought me last night.”
“Good idea. I like the way they look on you.”
Kaitlin smiled and said, “Me, too.”
The smile, the first Cora had seen since the girls arrived, made her feel as if she’d successfully negotiated a Middle East peace agreement. She tucked the victory close to her heart and said, “See you downstairs,” as she withdrew from the room.
She found Liza and Molly seated in the kitchen, listening with rapt attention to a tale Rafael was spinning about pirates and treasure hunts. He looked potent, she admitted, and decided to cut herself a little slack for falling under his spell. What woman wouldn’t? Clad in a blue shirt and faded jeans that hugged every muscular angle, with his hair pulled back in a clip, he was breathtakingly sexy. Her stomach clenched.
Liza was clutching Benedict Bunny so tightly he looked like his head might pop off. “Sorry to interrupt,” Cora said smoothly, “but you girls better get dressed. We’re leaving soon.”
Rafael greeted her with a broad smile that made her heart skip a beat. “We were in the middle of a story.”
She flashed him a look. “I see.”
“Is Kaitlin going?” Liza asked.
“Yes,” Cora told them. “So hurry. Get dressed.”
Molly gave Rafael a pleading look. “Can you finish the story later?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” he assured her. That sent the two girls scurrying from the chairs and out of the room. Liza dragged Benedict Bunny by one ear.
The door swung shut behind them, leaving the kitchen unnaturally quiet. Rafael braced his hip against the counter and regarded her with a steady look. “Good morning,” he whispered.
Cripes, she thought, how did he manage to wrap that voice around two simple words and make them sound like a seduction? “Hi.” She went to the sink to finish loading the dishwasher. She felt a strong need to occupy her hands before they got her into trouble. “How was your afternoon with the press?”
His laugh was a butter-smooth chuckle. “It wasn’t so bad. At least, I think I persuaded most of them that this isn’t about the Isabela. That should keep them off our backs.”
“I hope so. I want to protect the girls from—” She stopped as he advanced toward her. “What are you doing?” she asked warily.
He settled both hands on her waist and toppled her against him with a brief pull. “I want to test something.”
“Test—” The rest of her question was cut off when he covered her mouth with his. The kiss was thorough and leisurely, lacking all the urgency of yesterday. He mapped her mouth with his own, learning its curves, experimenting with pressure and taste. A tingling sensation started at her toes and tickled its way to her hairline. By the time he lifted his head, she felt a little dizzy. Her hands had found their way around his shoulders and lay linked beneath his glossy hair where it was clipped at his nape.
Rafael gave her a slow, lazy smile, then rubbed his nose against hers. “Good,” he muttered. “I was afraid I had imagined it.” He kissed her again, softly this time. “You taste just as good this morning.”
Cora took a step back and tried to steady her nerves. “Um, about that—”
He grinned. “Yes?”
“Now that I’ve had a chance to really consider this, I realize that we didn’t have a lot of time yesterday to lay out the details of this arrangement. I think it would be prudent—”
“I hate that word.” He used a long, bronzed index finger to twine a tendril of her hair into a soft curl.
“Prudent?”
He nodded.
She should have known. She pushed his hand away from her face. The heat of it was distracting her. “Maybe you do, but surely you can see why we need a few ground rules here.”
The teasing sparkle left his eye. “Uh-oh.”
“Could you take this seriously, please?”
“You have no idea,” he drawled, “how seriously I’m taking this.”
Cora frowned. “All I’m saying is that I told you yesterday that I think the girls are going to have a hard time adjusting to you. They’re used to their mother having a man around, and his presence generally means that Lauren ignores them. They are not used to having a male role model. I believe the transition will be easier if you and I make a concerted effort to show them that they don’t have to compete with you for my attention.”
“Will they?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Of course not. Since Lauren brought them here, it’s been my top priority to give them a little stability—someone they can count on.”
“And that means?”
He was watching her with a disarmingly frank stare. “That means,” she said, drawing a deep breath, “that I think they’d feel threatened if they thought you and I were romantically involved.”
The angles of his face shifted into a determined look. “It’s good for children to see adults in a caring, nurturing relationship.”
“Well, these three children happen to have often seen their mother involved in unbalanced, one-sided destructive affairs. I’m not sure they’ll be able to tell the difference.”
“Then we’ll show them,” he said.
“It’s not that easy,” she countered.
“Of course it is. There’s no reason they have to feel excluded simply because you and I are…together.”
His meaningful pause raised goose bumps on her flesh. “I just don’t see how—”
“Trust me,” he muttered, and took a step forward. “We’ll make it work.”
That was easy for him to say, she thought, feeling disgruntled and frustratingly trumped. He’d be sleeping upstairs while she tossed and turned all night remembering what his kiss felt like. She drew a calming breath. “It won’t work,” she said.
“Cora—” he leaned forward so his face was level with hers “—I thought we settled this yesterday.”
“No, we didn’t. You kissed me and I—” She stopped.
“You forgot,” he said. He sounded so arrogant she almost laughed.
She shook her head. “It’s not that I’m trying to deny anything,” she admitted against her better judgment. “It’s just that—”
He interrupted her by placing a large hand on her shoulder. “That you don’t want to admit to anyone that we’re going to be lovers.”
He sounded so sure. She closed her eyes and swallowed. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it? Precisely?”
“I just want you to realize that this…arrangement is going to be a lot more difficult than you think. Living with three children has certain, um, challenges.”
He laughed. It shredded her nerves like sandpaper on balsa wood. “Where did you get the idea,” he asked quietly, “that children aren’t perfectly capable of distinguishing between healthy adult affection and a dysfunctional relationship?” His gaze narrowed. “Your sister’s a real piece of work, isn’t she.”
“You could say that.” She resisted the urge to push his hand away. “Look, I’m not talking about coordinating an amphibious landing, you know. This doesn’t have to be complicated. We’re both reasonable adults. And while I agree that it’s inevitable that our proximity is going to have something of an effect—”
“Something of an effect? You mean like plastic explosives cause a little damage?”
She squared her jaw and continued, “I don’t see why we can’t simply agree that the girls have to come first, and if that means a suspension of our personal, er, wants, well, there’s no reason to let this situation go to our heads.”
“Then I have bad news for you,” he announced. “Because you’re so far into my head, I’m consumed.”