the STRUGGLE

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the STRUGGLE Page 11

by Wanda E. Brunstetter


  Hannah’s thoughts were quickly pushed aside when five young children darted into the room. With smiling faces, Fannie and Abraham set their coffee cups down and gathered the children into their arms.

  “Ach, my!” said Fannie, eyes glistening. “We’ve missed you all so much.”

  “We’ve missed you, too,” Marla said, hugging her grandma around the neck. The other children nodded in agreement.

  After all the hugs and kisses had been given out, the children found seats at the table, and Esther gave them each a glass of milk and two cookies.

  “That’s plenty for Mindy,” Hannah said. “If she eats too many kichlin, it’ll spoil her supper.”

  “We won’t be eating the evening meal for a few hours yet,” Timothy said. “So I don’t think a couple more cookies will hurt her any.”

  Hannah, though irritated, said nothing, preferring not to argue with her husband in front of his parents.

  “I’m sorry your folks weren’t able to make it.” Fannie offered Hannah a sympathetic smile. “We stopped by their place before we left town to pick up the gifts they asked us to bring, and your daed seemed to be in a lot of pain.”

  “That’s what Mom said when I spoke with her on the phone this morning.” Hannah blinked against the tears pricking the back of her eyes. Not only was she sad about her folks being unable to come, but she still felt bad that Dad had injured his back, and she wished she could be there to help Mom take care of him.

  “I know your mamm was really looking forward to coming here,” Fannie said, “but I’m sure they’ll make the trip as soon as your daed is feeling better.”

  “It probably won’t be until spring,” Hannah said, her mood plummeting even lower. “I’m sure they won’t travel when the roads are bad, and I wouldn’t want them to.”

  “Speaking of the roads,” their driver, Andy, spoke up, “I’d better head to my friend’s house now, before this weather gets any worse.”

  Timothy and Samuel both jumped up from the table. “We’ll get Mom and Dad’s stuff out of your van so you can be on your way,” Timothy said.

  “I’ll come with you.” Abraham pushed his chair aside and stood.

  After the men went outside, the children headed back upstairs to play. “I think I’ll go out to the phone shanty and call Bonnie,” Esther said. “Her dad is supposed to arrive today, so I want to see if he made it okay.” She slipped on her jacket and hurried out the door.

  Thinking this might be the only time she’d have to speak with Fannie alone, as soon as everyone else had left, Hannah moved over to sit next to her mother-in-law.

  “I know how close you’ve always been to your twins,” she said, carefully choosing her words, “and I’m sure having them both move to Kentucky has been really hard for you.”

  Fannie nodded slowly. “I never thought any of our kinner would leave Pennsylvania.”

  “I didn’t think they would either—especially not Timothy. I thought he enjoyed painting for Zach and farming with his daed.”

  “I believe he did,” Fannie said, “but Timothy wanted a new start, as did Samuel and Titus.”

  “I don’t like it here,” Hannah blurted out, wanting to get her point across. “I want to go back to Pennsylvania, and I was hoping you might talk Timothy into moving back home.”

  Fannie sat quietly, staring at her cup of coffee. With tears shimmering in her eyes, she said, “I can’t do that, Hannah. I’ve already expressed the way I feel to Timothy, and if I say anything more, it would probably make him even more determined to stay in Kentucky. It could drive a wedge between us that might never be repaired.”

  Hannah lowered her gaze, struggling not to cry. “Then I guess I’ll have to spend the rest of my life being miserable.”

  Fannie placed her hand on Hannah’s arm. “Happiness is not about the place you live. It’s about being with your family—the people you love.”

  “That’s right, and my family lives in Pennsylvania.”

  Fannie shook her head. “When you married my son, you agreed to leave your mother and father and cleave to your husband. You must let go of your life in Pennsylvania and make a new life here with your husband and daughter.”

  Hannah knew Fannie was right. When she’d said her vows to Timothy on their wedding day, she’d agreed to cleave only unto him. But she’d never expected that would mean moving away from her mother and father and coming to a place where she didn’t even have her own home. Maybe if they could find a house to buy soon, she would feel differently, but that remained to be seen.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Ken,” Allen said when Bonnie introduced him to her father.

  “Nice to meet you, too. Bonnie’s told me a lot about you.” Ken grinned at Bonnie and gave her a wink.

  “I hope it was all good,” Allen said, taking a seat in the living room next to the Christmas tree.

  “Of course it was all good,” Bonnie said before her father could reply. She looked over at Ken and added, “Allen’s never been anything but kind to me.”

  Allen smiled. Hearing her say that made him think she might be ready to accept his marriage proposal. The only problem was, he couldn’t bring it up in front of her dad. He’d have to wait and hope he had the chance to speak with Bonnie alone at some point this evening. He had even gone over in his mind what he wanted to say when he finally did pop the question.

  His gaze went to the stately tree he’d helped her pick out a week ago. It looked so beautiful with all the old-fashioned decorations and even a few bubble lights mixed in with the other colored lights. He wished he’d brought the subject of marriage up to her that day when they’d been alone and in festive moods. But since he’d promised to wait until Christmas Eve, he hadn’t said anything.

  Tonight Bonnie seemed a bit tense. Maybe she was nervous about her dad being here. It was the first time he’d come to visit since Bonnie had left Oregon and turned her grandparents’ home into a bed-and-breakfast. Allen knew from what Bonnie had told him that her dad had lived here with his folks during his teenage years but had hated it. It wasn’t the house or even the area he hated, though; it was the fact that he’d been forced to leave his girlfriend in Oregon. When she’d broken up with Ken, he’d blamed his folks for forcing him to move, and once he graduated from high school, he’d joined the army and never returned to Kentucky.

  “I have some open-faced sandwiches and tomato soup heating on the stove, so if you’re ready to eat, why don’t we go into the dining room?” Bonnie suggested.

  “Sounds good to me.” Allen rose from his chair, and her dad did the same.

  After they were seated at the dining-room table, Bonnie led in prayer and then dished them each a bowl of soup, while Allen helped himself to an open-faced egg-salad sandwich. “These really look good,” he said, passing the platter to Ken.

  “They sure do. When Bonnie’s mother was alive, she used to make sandwiches like these every Christmas Eve. It was part of her Norwegian heritage to make the sandwiches open-faced and garnish them with tomatoes, pickles, and olives.”

  Bonnie smiled. “And don’t forget the fancy squiggles of mustard and mayonnaise Mom always put on the sandwiches.”

  Allen took a bite. “Boy, this tastes as good as it looks.”

  “The soup’s good, too,” Ken said, after he’d eaten his first spoonful. “Bonnie, you’ve turned into a real good cook.”

  “I owe it all to Esther,” she said. “She’s an excellent cook and taught me well. Without her help, I’d never have been able to come up with decent breakfast foods to serve my B&B guests.”

  “Esther’s your Amish friend, right?” Ken asked.

  Bonnie nodded. “I’m anxious for you to meet her, but she’s with Samuel’s family this evening, so you won’t get the chance until tomorrow morning.”

  “Will she join us for breakfast?” Ken asked.

  “I think so. Then she’ll be going back to Samuel’s to spend Christmas Day.”

  “I hope you intend to join us tomo
rrow for Christmas dinner,” Ken said, looking at Allen.

  “Most definitely.” Allen grinned at Bonnie. “I wouldn’t miss the chance to eat some of that delicious turkey you’re planning to roast. The meal you fixed on Thanksgiving was great, so I’m sure Christmas dinner will be as well.”

  Bonnie smiled. “Thank you, Allen.”

  As they continued their meal, Allen got better acquainted with Ken. When he wasn’t talking, he was thinking about whether he’d get the chance to speak with Bonnie alone. It made him a little nervous, hoping he’d remember what he’d practiced saying all week. Allen thought he was about to get that chance when Bonnie excused herself to get their dessert.

  “Would you like some help?” he offered.

  “That’s okay. Just sit and relax while you visit with Dad.” Bonnie disappeared into the kitchen. Allen hoped he’d get a chance to speak to her before the evening was out.

  “I hear you’re in the construction business,” Ken said after he’d taken a drink of coffee.

  “Yes, that’s right.” Allen glanced at the kitchen door, wishing he could be in there with Bonnie. Not that he didn’t enjoy her dad’s company; he just really wanted to know if she’d made a decision about marrying him.

  “How do you like what Bonnie’s done with the house?” Allen asked, looking back at Ken. “She’s really turned this place into a nice bed-and-breakfast, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, it’s amazing the transformation that’s taken place,” Ken agreed. “Not that I didn’t have faith in my daughter’s abilities, but to tell you the truth, this house was pretty run-down, even when I lived here, so I really didn’t know what to expect.”

  Allen smiled. “Your daughter’s pretty remarkable.”

  “Bonnie says you want to marry her,” Ken blurted out.

  Allen nearly choked. “Well, uh…yes, but I didn’t realize she’d mentioned it to you.”

  Ken gave a nod. “Yep. Said she’s supposed to have an answer for you soon.”

  “That’s right. Tonight, to be exact.”

  “Are you planning to start a family right away?”

  “I don’t know. That’s something Bonnie and I will have to discuss—if she agrees to marry me, that is.”

  “She’ll make a good mother, I think. She’s older and ready for that now. Not like when she was an immature sixteen-year-old and had to give her baby up.”

  “Wh–what was that?” Allen thought he must have misunderstood what Ken just said. Baby? What baby?

  “She was too young to raise a child back then, and with my job at the bank and trying to raise Bonnie alone, I sure couldn’t help take care of a baby. So I insisted that she give the child up for adoption.”

  Allen’s spine went rigid. Bonnie had given birth to a baby when she was sixteen, and she hadn’t said a word to him about it? What other secrets did she have?

  He leaned forward and rubbed his head, trying to come to grips with this news.

  “Are you okay?” Ken asked.

  “Uh—no. I have a sudden headache.” Allen pushed his chair aside. “And I think I’d better go before the weather gets any worse.” He rushed into the hall, grabbed his jacket from the coat tree, and hurried out the door. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  CHAPTER 20

  Bonnie had just placed some slices of chocolate cheesecake on a platter, when she heard the rumble of a vehicle starting up. She went to the window and peered out. It was snowing pretty hard, but under the light on the end of her garage she could see Allen’s truck pulling out of the yard.

  Now where in the world is he going?

  Bonnie hurried into the dining room. Dad sat at the table, head down and shoulders slumped. “I just saw Allen’s truck pull out of the yard. Did he say where he was going?”

  Dad looked up at her and gave a slow nod. “He’s going home.”

  Bonnie frowned. “Why? What happened?”

  “Said he had a headache, but I think it had more to do with me and my big mouth.”

  “What are you talking about, Dad? Did you say something to upset Allen?”

  Dad rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m afraid so.”

  “What’d you say?”

  “We were talking about his desire to marry you, and I asked if he wanted children.” Dad paused and took a sip of water. “Then I…uh…mentioned the child you’d given up for adoption.”

  Bonnie gasped and sank into a chair with a moan. “Oh Dad, you didn’t! How could you have told Allen that? It was my place to tell him about my past, not yours.”

  “I know that, but I figured it was something you had already told him. I mean, if you’re thinking of marrying the guy, then you should have told him about the baby.”

  “I was planning to, but I couldn’t work up the nerve, and there just never seemed to be the right time. I would have told him before I’d given an answer to his proposal though.”

  “Good grief, Bonnie, you can’t wait to spring something like that on a man right before you agree to become his wife. What in the world were you thinking?”

  Bonnie stiffened. She didn’t like the way Dad was talking to her right now—as though she was still a little girl in need of a lecture.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” Dad said before she could offer a retort. “I wasn’t thinking when I blabbed to Allen. I was wrong in assuming you had already told him. I’m sure when he comes here for dinner tomorrow you’ll be able to talk things out.”

  Tears welled in Bonnie’s eyes, and she blinked to keep them from spilling over. “I hope so, Dad, because I really want things to work out for us. I love Allen so much.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to accept his proposal?”

  She gave a slow nod. “If he’ll have me now that he knows the truth about my past.”

  “I’m sure he just needs some time to process all of this. He loves you, Bonnie. I’m certain of it.” Dad pushed his chair aside and stood. “You know, I’m really bushed, so if you don’t mind, I think I’ll head upstairs to bed.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll just clear things up in here, and then I’ll probably go to bed, too.”

  “Things will work out for you and Allen. Just pray about it, honey.” Dad gave her a hug. Before he headed up the stairs, he turned and looked back at her. “As I said before, I’m really sorry I blurted all that out to Allen.”

  Noticing her dad’s remorseful expression, Bonnie said, “What’s done is done, Dad. I should have told Allen sooner, and it’s too late now for regrets.”

  “It’ll work out, honey. You’ll see. Allen probably just needs some time to think about it.”

  “I hope so. Good night, Dad. Sleep well.”

  “You, too.”

  After Dad went upstairs, Bonnie remained in her chair, staring at the lights on the Christmas tree. It had helped to hear Dad’s reassuring words. Now if she could only believe them. Does Allen really have a headache, and if so, why didn’t he come to the kitchen and tell me himself? Did he leave because he couldn’t deal with the truth about my past? Will he be back for Christmas dinner tomorrow? Should I give him a call or just wait and find out?

  Trisha squinted as she tried to keep her focus on the road. With the snow coming down so hard, it was difficult to see where she was. This was so nerve-wracking, especially since she didn’t have a lot of experience driving in the snow. She figured she should be getting close to Hopkinsville though, where she could get a hotel room and call her friend in Bowling Green to let her know she wouldn’t arrive tonight after all but would try to get there tomorrow. At the rate the wind was blowing the snow all around, she began to question where she was. She’d lost service on her GPS and wasn’t sure if she was supposed to go straight ahead or turn at the next crossroad.

  Maybe Margo was right, she thought. It might have been a mistake to venture out on my own.

  When a truck swooshed past Trisha’s car, throwing snow all over the windshield, she swerved to the right and nearly hit a telephone pole. Heart
pounding and hands so sweaty she could barely hold on to the steering wheel, Trisha sent up a prayer as she made a right turn. Please, Lord, let this be the way to Hopkinsville.

  Driving slowly, with her windshield wipers going at full speed, she proceeded up the road. There were no streetlights on this stretch of road, and she had a sinking feeling she’d taken a wrong turn.

  Should I turn around and head back to the road I was on or keep going? she asked herself. Maybe I’ll go just a little farther.

  Trisha saw a pair of red blinking lights up ahead. She slowed her car even more as she strained to see out the window. Then, as she approached the blinking lights, she realized the vehicle in front of her was an Amish buggy. While doing some online research of the area before making this trip, Trisha had learned that there were Amish and Mennonite families living in Christian County, Kentucky. Apparently the Amish in this buggy had been out somewhere on Christmas Eve and were probably on their way home.

  Afraid to pass for fear of frightening the horse, Trisha followed the buggy until it turned onto a graveled driveway. It was then that she noticed a sign that read: Bonnie’s Bed-and-Breakfast.

  Maybe there’s a vacancy and I can spend the night, she thought, hope welling in her soul. Then in the morning, I’ll ask for directions to Bowling Green and be on my way.

  Trisha turned in the driveway and stopped her car several feet from where the horse and buggy had pulled up to a hitching rail. When a young Amish woman climbed down from the buggy, Trisha got out of her car.

  “Excuse me,” she hollered against the howling wind, “but are you the owner of this bed-and-breakfast?”

 

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