by Geoff Wolak
‘Girl, you got some stealing to do, plans to be made.’
‘I get a bonus, right?’
‘You get a bonus, yes. Get to work.’
‘And I miss you too,’ she complained.
‘I can’t talk now.’
‘Call me later then, figure the time difference, Dumbass.’
Call ended, Swifty asked, ‘Tiny?’
‘In Panama.’
‘Who won’t you be going down on?’ he asked.
‘Maria the secret agent, who has nice big boobs. Well, about the same as your wife here.’
‘How’d you know what her boobs are like?’ Swifty complained, Sasha laughing.
‘She walks around flaunting it.’
Swifty wagged a finger at Sarah as she protested that, but admitted to being in bra and panties a few times.
‘You and Tiny?’ Sasha asked.
‘It would be too dangerous,’ I told him. ‘They might go for her.’
‘Then this Maria is a better bet, no,’ he suggested.
‘She sleeps with enemy agents and kills them,’ I pointed out.
‘Just a blowjob then,’ Swifty suggested, getting a dangerous pointed finger from Sarah. ‘What? After a few pints you talk like Rizzo.’ I laughed loudly as she squinted at him. ‘And your mate sucked off Slider.’
‘She sucks off lots of men, but doesn’t shag much,’ Sarah admitted. She faced me. ‘Will Rizzo be OK?’
‘Like a pig in shit,’ I told her. ‘He’ll be in Panama, training mercenaries, hookers and beer provided by his host, good salary. And it’s less dangerous than being on jobs with us.’
She noted, ‘Recruitment for us is way up. If you saw the recruitment video you’d think twice, but they don’t, they want some travel and action, not boring old hospital wards and someone with an ingrowing toenail.’
My phone trilled, Colonel Mathews. ‘Sir?’
‘Pentagon just got to the video of your man with constipation, I just saw it. It ain’t for the faint-hearted, and they won’t be showing it on CNN – his dick hanging out, his finger used to dislodge a stubborn turd, but it shows him finishing off a wounded man and taking his money and cigarettes.
‘The boys love it, laughing so much they cried, and no one really gives a fuck about a cartel man, but the AG Office and the FBI have it, and he was under our military remit, so they want to file charges.’
‘They’ll have to find him first, which won’t be easy.’
‘Where is he?’
‘He resigned, and fled to Panama.’
‘Ah. In which case they’ll have a hard time questioning him.’
‘And the video?’
‘Will pass into legend amongst old soldiers, not least because it’s so funny. But it also shows how tough your men are, and your man catches a thrown grenade and dumps down the toilet he was sat on, should have died in that moment.’
‘Ah, so that’s how he got covered in shit.’
‘He’s seen being taken by surprise, shot and wounded without reacting, and firing back. You can see the blood spurt and wound, and he doesn’t even flinch, and afterwards lights a new cigarette, a man running in to bind his wound.’
‘I’m sure I’ll see it soon, but not before lunch.’
He laughed. ‘Definitely not before lunch. You have our officers?’
‘Yes, they’ve been having route planning lessons, and most all of them still think like regular officers. But we’ll change that quickly enough.’
Call ended, they were waiting. ‘Yanks want to prosecute Rizzo, but they’ll never find him. But … the video is said to make him look heroic, and the rank and file don’t give a fuck about finishing off cartel men.’
In the morning, David Finch called. ‘I just watched the video, so have many here, and … many laughed themselves off the chair, legal issues aside, which are debatable to some degree. The wounded man reaches for his gun, half-heartedly perhaps, and out of reach clearly, then Rizzo puts two rounds through his chest.
‘That point could be argued, with some imagination, but he then checks the man’s pockets, which could not be argued.’
‘Doesn’t matter now, Rizzo is gone. Oh, Pentagon called last night, they’ve seen the video and the DOJ wants to prosecute Rizzo.’
‘In America, the CD is changing hands for $20 a time apparently. It’s very popular. On the video I recognised Moran from behind, but his face his hidden. He’s seen remonstrating with Rizzo then throwing buckets of water over him, the uniform eventually discarded. MOD chiefs get to examine it today with SIB, if they can stop laughing long enough that is.’
An hour later and Max called. ‘Look, we have the video and … well, we think it exonerates Rizzo, so we’re going to sell edited copies.’
‘MOD has the copyright maybe, or the American military.’
‘We checked with the solicitors, and that lot don’t have copyright, it was a hidden camera and the copyright belongs to the Tijuana Cartel if anyone, and there’s no ‘D’ Notice on it.’
‘Well, up to you, and the Yanks said that it makes him look tough.’
‘Do you know where he is?’
‘He’ll soon be in Panama.’
‘Non-extradition Panama, eh, good choice.’
‘You can fly out and interview him, doesn’t matter now, his face is out there. Oh, his official title is Mad Dog Rizzo.’
‘I bet he’s loving the attention.’
‘Yeah, probably is.’
I observed the Wolf officers on the pistol range, some very good, Tomsk calling after lunch.
‘We just saw the video of your man,’ he said with a lilt. ‘Not a dry eye in the room.’
‘He’ll be coming to work for you soon.’
‘Ah, good, I take him to the club then.’
‘His name is Mad Dog Rizzo.’
‘Listen, I can’t stop people getting the video here, but -’
‘You can send people copies, yes, he’ll like that.’
‘Good. So … ten thousand copies enough?’
I blinked. And shook my head. ‘Yeah, why not.’
‘They want to show it on TV here, late night, people hate the Tijuana Cartel.’
I sighed. ‘He will be as famous as Petrov.’
‘I tell people he works with Petrov, yes?’
I sighed. ‘Yeah, why not. How’s Gay Dave?’
‘He is very good now, Russian is better, he is fit and strong, and great with a weapon. He is playing like an actor, but he is an excellent bodyguard, but most people know he is not you.’
‘And this cartel man Tiny caught?’
‘He is happy to have a job, his wife is from here, already some useful information from him.’
‘Talk to the Panama Minister, to recruit thirty tough soldiers, for a new sniper team, to combat the drug runners on the border. Tell the minister we pay for everything, and these men kill the Nicaraguan gang members.’
‘He’ll be pleased, yes. But we use them in other places?’
‘Yes, we wipe out the cartels. But listen, someday I will have to deal with Medellin.’
‘I can plan for that, I deal with the growers direct maybe, and they talk funny these days. Not sure if I can trust them.’
‘Of course you can’t fucking trust them! Trust no one!’
‘OK, keep knickers on, eh, you worry for me like Tiny.’
‘That way you live longer.’
The next day, the Wolf officers on the long range and sniping, my TLC contact called me back after I left a message with his secretary.
‘Major Wilco, that you?’
‘Stood in a cold British wind, observing your Lone Wolf officer recruits.’
‘How they doing?’
‘Lame so far, but they’ll get there. Anyway, I’m in Panama soon, so what you after from them?’
‘Our version of the APC, can be used for crowd control. They were interested in a batch of a hundred, then it all stalled. Been two years.’
‘Weapons?’
<
br /> ‘Thirty mil or fifty cal interchangeable, smoke dispensers, CS gas. Six men inside plus driver and gunner, good top speed, off-road capability.’
‘Leave it with me.’
I called Tomsk. ‘Listen, a company in America called T-L-C, they tried to sell the Panama Government a hundred armoured cars, use for riot control as well as jungles. Go see the minister, give him a loan, buy the APC quickly but keep ten for us, for the southern border.’
‘Why you help this company?’
‘Their boss is Deep State.’
‘Ah, we keep him sweet, no.’
‘We do, till I know all about him, then I kill him.’
‘You kill him?’
‘He is not the first Deep State, or the FBI Deep State, but the third one.’
‘How many secret governments do they have?’ he complained.
‘We work with the first one, the stronger one, the rest we dispose of.’
‘My god. OK, I talk to the Minister, he comes here today.’
‘How’s the oil?’
‘Much comes here, and now Panama is 100% served by my company instead of Colombia, sales then to Caribbean islands at good rates, in talks with Nicaragua. And here we now have a plastics company. And thanks to my boy, Monday’s we offer cheap fuel, but Fridays is not for single occupant cars in the city, must be two people or they pay a small fine.’
‘Your boy is up on the ecology?’ I asked.
‘Yes, they study it in school, and we are planting trees in areas where they took the land back from the American Army, soon a lot of land given up, a new forest planned along the Canal Zone.’
‘I’ll see you in a few days. Oh, did you send money to that bank account I gave Tiny to give you, the CIA narco team?’
‘Yes, ten million. Will it be spent well?’ he complained.
‘On killing your rivals, not on beer. Stop complaining, old man.’
Maria called me at 5pm, and she was let in ten minutes later, people wondering who she was. I handed her to Rocko, who was surprised, if not stunned, Salome to help out, and to spy on our spy.
During the day I checked in on the Wolves, and most could shoot very well, a few real stars in the mix, a hard core of ten men that could rival Tomo and Nicholson.
I walked to the bar at 9pm, the bar quite full, Maria stood with Salome. I got a drink and joined them, nods at a few men. Maria was showing some cleavage and a nice pair, Salome without a bra on under a warm jumper.
Maria began, ‘Your man Tomo tried it on.’
‘I would have bet good money on it. How did he fare?’
‘I asked what he drove, and that shut him down quickly. I like Nicholson though, a gentleman.’
Dicky was walking past, grabbed by Salome, his head forced down.
‘Look, one more line here and we play checkers,’ Salome joked.
The men laughed as Dicky feigned hurt, but it looked like Dicky enjoyed the female attention, especially when Salome kissed him on the head.
Rocko approached. ‘Boss, what I am training our guest on?’
‘M4, pistols, then The Factory, then she’ll go up to London for some cat and mouse. But what we need is for Maria here to be confident that she can escape if she’s stuck on the wrong side of a border. Get some chickens and rabbits for her.’
Maria’s eyes widened. ‘I eat them?’
‘You do,’ I told her. ‘And you get ready for the day when you have no papers on you and have to hide out in a forest. That gives you confidence, should your car break down, your escape route blocked.’
‘Oh. Right,’ she let out. ‘I was thinking about five star hotels.’
‘Think again, or change careers,’ I firmly told her. I waited.
She took in the faces. ‘Some survival training then, fingernails to clean afterwards.’
‘I teach you,’ Salome offered. She put a hand over Rocko’s mouth. ‘But I think he tickle your thighs if he goes down on you.’
For the first time ever I saw Rocko blush as the ladies laughed at him. He headed off to join Stretch and Slider, retreating in the face of overwhelming female numbers.
I joined Stickler and Monster. ‘Nowhere to go?’
‘Not in the mood for a quick holiday in Tenerife,’ Monster noted. ‘Need two weeks for that.’
‘Will Rizzo be OK?’ Stickler asked.
‘Happy like a pig in shit. One, he doesn’t go to prison. Two, he has a job in Panama, high wages, hookers and free beer, men to train.’
Stickler noted, ‘What Rizzo did, it’s common enough for the lads…’
‘It is, and we’ve all done enough to get ten years, we just try to not get filmed doing it.’
I moved along to Murphy and his buddy after ten minutes. ‘How was Kosovo?’
‘No hardship, Boss,’ Murphy told me. ‘We had us a nice cave, and them local soldiers was a bit shite an all.’
‘They’re not shite, they’re average, but you’re very good – trained by me.’
They laughed. ‘Right, Boss. And these new officers?’
‘You’ll help train them probably, and let me know if they’re any good. You can spy on them.’
‘This here nice lady,’ they nudged.
‘American, here for some training.’
‘She shut down Tomo real quick,’ Murphy noted. ‘He was sulking.’
‘She likes rich men.’
‘Well that kinda rules out us hillbillies,’ they admitted, laughing.
I moved on to Henri and Sambo. Henri told me, ‘I get a call, and two French Marine Commando come, tomorrow I think.’
I nodded. ‘I asked for them, yes. Someone for you to chat to. You can help get them up to speed.’ I faced Sambo and loudly began. ‘Sambo, how come you got a woman pregnant in Liberia?’
‘No, no, Boss -’ he protested as the lads laughed at him.
I wagged a finger. ‘You marry a woman, you should look after her.’
‘No, no, Boss, not my wife -’
‘And you have a woman in Mauritania already, you sex maniac.’
Henri bent double laughing as I scolded Sambo.
Moving on, I stopped next to Stretch, Rocko and Slider at their tall table.
‘Where’s Smelly Arse?’ Stretch asked.
‘His official title is Mad Dog Rizzo, and he’s on his way to Panama, where they all have a copy of the tape and love it.’
‘When do we get a copy?’ Stretch asked.
‘You want to see him naked?’ Slider scoffed.
‘No, but I want to see what he did.’
‘There are copies in London, so I guess that we’ll get one soon,’ I told them.
‘And what’ll he do?’ Stretch pressed.
‘Work for the drug lord in Panama.’
‘Can I join him?’ Stretch keenly asked.
‘Are you fed up here?’
‘Well, no, but your mate there has a good number going.’
‘You resign from here, and I’ll consider it. But be sure of what you want, heat and flies, and no British beer.’
‘And a shallow grave,’ Rocko put in.
‘There is that risk, yes,’ I agreed.
‘What’ll he be doing?’ Stretch asked.
‘Training some dodgy men, but then leading missions around Central America,’ I told them.
Stretch noted, ‘I’d not want to be pissing around down there without the team, and the British Government to get us out, aircraft carrier off the coast and some medics.’
‘So stay here and teach then.’
‘Much danger for him?’ Rocko asked.
‘Yes, but the cartels are only good in a city, not the bush. Still, it beats a prison cell.’
‘Way better than a prison cell,’ Rocko agreed. ‘This bird, Maria..?’
‘A lady agent, so don’t ask too many questions. We need her up to speed on sniping, climbing, infiltration, so use The Factory. Then get her kitted out and have her in an OP for a night.’
‘She’ll love that,’ he quipp
ed.
‘You lay next to her,’ I told him. ‘Teach her.’ His eyes sprung open, Stretch and Slider laughing at him.
Walking back to my house I called Tiny.
‘You finally call,’ she complained.
‘I thought I’d call before you started to whinge, about me not calling.’
‘Aw, that’s sweet – not. Where are you?’
‘At the base in a cold wind, just chatting to Salome and Maria, boobs on display.’
‘You can look, but don’t touch, or I’ll duff you up.’
‘I hear and obey. What you up to?’
‘We’ve been looking at Mexicans in prison here, families outside but in contact. I’m selecting men that have some English, already got one suitable for a deal. First we’ll move his family here. Got a Nicaraguan man as well, ex-Army captain who took money at the border. He has a wife and three nice daughters that visit.’
‘Sounds good, we’re making progress then.’
‘Tomsk has a manager assigned to it, and that man has an assistant, and the police in Panama all cooperate like employees anyhow.’
‘I might send some CIA men down to you.’
‘Can they be trusted here?’
‘They’ve been with me a long time, in the loop on most things, and they don’t always tell their bosses what I tell them.’
My next called was Langley, the Deputy Chief calling me back as I stood outside my own door.
‘Wilco, you after me?’
‘You at home?’
‘It’s a Saturday.’
‘And there was me thinking you lived in your office,’ I teased.
‘Not this weekend, I’m having some me time. Is it bad news?’
‘No, don’t be so pessimistic. Franks and Dick; ask them if they’d like six months in Panama.’
‘They have no family ties, if that’s what you’re asking. What’ll they be doing?’
‘They’d be your narco team representatives, but also helping to find men in prison that are suitable, we already have a few, and I need a pipeline into Mexico from your side.’
‘Why our side?’ he complained.
‘It’s very fucking easy to cross the border, that’s why, the south is dangerous. I want a team to assist my men, to get assassins across the border to Carlos.’
‘And they assassinate..?’