Anna nodded.
“Where are you going?” Rachel asked, making no mention of what she knew about Reuben or saying anything concerning the hope chest Anna had slid to the end of her bed.
“Last night after you went upstairs, I told Mom and Dad that I’ve been secretly seeing Reuben Yutzy.”
“Really?”
“Jah.”
“But Reuben’s not a member of the church yet, and from what I hear, he’s kind of wild.”
Anna frowned. “Reuben’s got a hankering for some modern things, but he’s really a nice fellow.” She took a seat on the edge of Rachel’s bed. “The thing is ... well, Reuben and I got married yesterday.”
“You ... you did?” Rachel hated playing dumb like this, but if Anna had any idea that Rachel already knew about her plans, she’d probably be too miffed to share anything else that was on her mind.
“We went to Lancaster and got married by a justice of the peace. Then a few hours later, Reuben went home to tell his folks, and I came here to tell ours. Last night was the final time for me to sleep in my old room, because this morning, Reuben’s coming for me. We’ll be leaving.”
Rachel sucked in her breath and flopped down beside her sister. “But ... but where will you go?”
“We’ll be living in an apartment in Lancaster.” Anna sighed. “Of course, the folks are pretty upset, but they need to realize that I love Reuben, and my place is with him now.”
“What about your hope chest?” Rachel’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “Won’t you be needing all your things now that you’re married and about to set up housekeeping?”
Anna shook her head. “The apartment Reuben rented is fully furnished. Besides, the things in that chest would only be painful reminders of my past.” She nodded at Rachel. “Better that you have ’em.”
Rachel was sorely tempted to tell her sister that there wasn’t much point in her having one hope chest, much less two, since she would probably never marry. She thought better of it, though, because she could see from the dismal look on Anna’s face that saying good-bye was hurting her badly.
“If you renounce your faith, you’ll be shunned. You’ve been baptized into membership, Anna. Have you forgotten that?”
Anna blew out her breath. “Of course I haven’t forgotten. Leaving my home and family is the sacrifice I have to make. There isn’t any other way that I can see.”
Rachel jumped up. “Yes, there is! You can talk Reuben into forgetting all this nonsense about going English. You can stay right here and marry Reuben again in the Amish church.” Strangely enough, Rachel found herself wishing Anna had accepted Silas’s offer to court her. With him, at least, she knew Anna would be staying in the faith.
What am I thinking? Here I am, so in love with Silas that my heart could burst, and I’m wishing my sister could be making plans to marry him.
Rachel’s vision clouded with tears as she thought about how this news would affect the man she loved. “What about Silas? You rode home with him in his courting buggy from a singing not long ago. Didn’t that mean anything?”
Anna dropped her gaze to the floor. “I—I didn’t mean to lead Silas on, but even if I weren’t planning to leave, I wouldn’t have married Silas. I don’t love him. I never have.”
Rachel planted her hands on her hips as she stared hard at her sister. Anna seemed almost a stranger to her now. What had happened to her pleasant childhood playmate? Where had the closeness she’d once felt with Anna gone?
“Silas is a wonderful man, and he loves you. Doesn’t that count at all?”
Anna lifted her head to look at Rachel. “I’m sorry for Silas, but I have to go with my heart.” She drew in a deep breath. “What do you want out of life, Rachel?”
Rachel swallowed hard. “That’s easy. I want love ... marriage ... and lots of kinner.”
“Since you’re so worried about Silas, why don’t you try to make him happy? Maybe the two of you will marry someday, and he’ll give you a whole houseful of children.”
Rachel shook her head. “I wish I could make Silas happy, but I can’t, because he doesn’t love me.”
CHAPTER 8
Not one word was said during breakfast about Anna’s plans to leave. It was almost as if nothing had gone on last night. Rachel figured her folks either were hoping they could talk Anna and Reuben out of leaving and into getting married again within the church or had already begun the shunning.
When breakfast was over, Dad went outside. Rachel was at the sink doing dishes, and when she glanced out the window, she saw him hitch up the buggy and head on down the road. She thought it was odd that he hadn’t said where he was going.
A short time later, Dad returned with Deacon Byler following in his own closed-in rig. Rachel was out in the garden with Elizabeth when she saw the two men climb down from their buggies.
Rachel straightened and pressed a hand against her lower back to ease out some of the kinks. The deacon stepped close to the garden and nodded at her. “Where’s your sister Anna? I’m here to speak with her.”
Before Rachel could reply, Anna came out of the house, lugging an old suitcase down the steps. She wasn’t wearing her kapp, cape, or apron. At least she wore a dress, and her hair was pinned up in a bun.
Deacon Byler marched right on over to her. “I understand you and Reuben Yutzy are planning to leave the Amish faith.”
Anna nodded. “That’s right. My husband will be here soon to pick me up.”
“Your husband, huh?”
Anna nodded again.
Rachel dropped the beet she had just dug up and held her breath, for she feared the worst was coming. Even though she couldn’t do anything about Anna leaving, she knew she must do something to offer a little bit of support. “Keep working,” she told Elizabeth. “I’ll be right back.” She hurried across the yard to stand beside Anna.
Anna gave Rachel a sad smile. Then she turned to face the deacon again. “I don’t like disappointing my family, and I feel awful about the lies I told them, but I’m a married woman now, and I’ve got to be with my husband.”
The deacon crossed his arms as his forehead wrinkled. “Deacon Shemly is speaking with Reuben right now, so maybe he can convince him to stay and become a member of our church.”
Anna shook her head. “I doubt he’ll change his mind.”
Deacon Byler turned toward Dad. “I guess we need to wait and see how things go between Deacon Shemly and Reuben.”
Dad nodded.
The deacon headed back to his buggy, and Anna looked up at her father with tears shimmering in her eyes. “Sorry, but I don’t think Reuben will change his mind, which means I won’t, either.”
Dad said nothing in return. He stared at Anna for a few seconds as if he were looking right through her. Then he stalked off toward the barn.
Rachel didn’t know what she could say, either. She felt sick at heart over the way things were going, and reality settled over her like a dreary fog. If Anna left the faith, nothing would ever be the same at home.
***
“No one understands the way I feel,” Anna moaned. She took a seat on the top porch step and rested her chin in the palms of her hands.
Rachel seated herself beside Anna and reached over to take her hand. “Being in love can make us do things we never expected we’d do.”
Anna nodded and sniffed deeply. “I hate the thought of leaving home or being shunned by my family, and I did try to talk Reuben into joining the church, but he’s determined to leave.”
Rachel squeezed Anna’s fingers, though she didn’t think the gesture offered much comfort. “Guess I’d probably do the same thing if the man I loved was determined to leave home and had asked me to marry him and leave my family and friends.”
Anna glanced over at her and squinted. “Are you in love with someone?”
Rachel chewed on her lower lip a few seconds. Finally, she nodded.
“Mind if I ask who?”
“I–I’m in love with Silas Swartley.”
A smile lifted the corners of Anna’s lips. “I thought so.” “You thought so?”
“Jah. I’ve had a feeling for some time that you had an interest in him.”
“Has it been that obvious?”
“To me, at least. I’ve seen the way you look at Silas with such longing, and the things you’ve said about him being so good-looking and nice made me realize you must care for him.”
Rachel released a sigh. “Silas has been in love with you for a long time, Anna. He doesn’t see me as anything more than a child, so it makes no difference how I feel about him.”
Anna opened her mouth as if to reply, but Reuben pulled up in his fancy red truck, interrupting their conversation. She stood and glanced back toward the house, then looked at Rachel again. “I spoke with Mom right after breakfast and told her I’d be leaving as soon as Reuben showed up, but she didn’t want to come outside, so we said our good-byes in there.”
Rachel stood, too, smoothing the wrinkles in her long, green dress and swallowing against the lump in her throat. “I guess she thought it would be too painful to see you drive away.” She grabbed Anna in a hug. “I’m sure gonna miss you. Write soon and let me know how you’re doing, okay?”
Anna nodded fiercely as tears welled in her eyes. “I know the brothers are already out in the fields, so would you tell them good-bye for me?”
“Jah, sure.”
“And Dad, too.”
“Why don’t you tell him yourself? I haven’t seen him come out of the barn, so I’m guessing he’s still in there.”
Anna shook her head. “You saw the way Dad looked at me when Deacon Byler was here. He’s awful angry about this decision I’ve made, and I doubt he’d even want to say good-bye.”
Reuben tooted the truck’s horn, and Anna picked up her suitcase and hurried down the steps. She stopped off at the garden to give Elizabeth a hug, then opened the passenger’s door of Reuben’s shiny red truck and climbed right in.
Rachel sank onto the porch step with a groan.
***
Reuben had just started to back the truck up when Anna’s father came running out of the barn, waving his arms.
Hoped welled in Anna’s soul. Maybe Dad wanted to tell her good-bye after all. Maybe he didn’t want her to leave with this awful dissension between them. “Better wait and see what he wants,” she said, looking over at her husband.
“Jah, okay.” Reuben put his foot on the brake, and Anna pushed the button to let her window roll down. But Dad went around to Reuben’s side of the truck, not hers.
“Guess you’d best roll down your window then,” she said to Reuben.
He grunted but did as she asked.
As soon as the window was down, Dad stepped close to the truck and leaned over until his head was nearly inside. “Did Deacon Shemly come by your place this morning?”
Reuben’s only reply was a quick nod.
“I guess he didn’t talk any sense into you, or you wouldn’t be taking my daughter away.”
“I’m not trying to cause any trouble for your family, but I’ve gotten used to so many modern things since I started working for Vern Hanson, and I’ve become used to having a truck that I don’t think I could do without.”
Dad’s eyebrows drew together as a deep frown crushed his strong features. “Oh, but you think it’s okay for me to do without my daughter?”
Reuben reached across the seat and took hold of Anna’s hand, which gave her added courage and made her feel just a bit better. “I love Anna, and she’s my wife now, so she belongs with me.”
“If you love her so much, then you ought to be willing to join the Amish church and keep her from being shunned.”
“This isn’t just Reuben’s decision,” Anna said, leaning across the seat so she could look her father in the eye. “I’ve been feeling kind of discontent here of late, and—”
“And nothing!” Dad clapped his hands together. “You’re only doin’ this to please this young man, and apparently neither of you cares about who you’re hurting in the process of having what you think you want.” He stepped away from the truck and slowly shook his head. “Well, go on then. Go on out into the English world and forget you ever had an Amish family who cared about you!”
Tears clogged the back of Anna’s throat and her vision blurred. “I love you, Dad. I love all my family, but my place is with my husband.” She looked over at Reuben and managed a weak smile. “Let’s go now, shall we?”
Reuben took his foot off the brake and turned the truck around. As they headed down the driveway, Anna turned and saw Rachel standing on the porch, waving at them. Anna waved back as tears coursed down her cheeks. When Reuben pulled onto the main road, she lifted her hand in one final wave, and then they were gone.
***
As Rebekah sat in front of the window overlooking the back porch, watching her firstborn child drive away, it was all she could do to keep from breaking down. All the expectations she’d had for her daughter had been dashed away in one fell swoop. She wanted to swaddle Anna in a blanket—keep her warm and safe. But it was too late for that now; her baby was gone.
She drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes as her mind took her back to that wonderful day when Anna had been born....
“It’s a girl,” Rebekah whispered, as Daniel entered the birthing room, wearing an anxious expression. “God has given us a miracle baby.”
Daniel bent his head to kiss Rebekah’s cheek. Then he reached out his finger and stroked the side of the baby’s tiny head. “She’s a miracle, all right.” He glanced back at Rebekah and smiled. “She’s a beautiful child, and she looks just like her mamm.”
Tears welled in Rebekah’s eyes. “All those months I spent asking God for a miracle, I never expected Him to answer in such a wunderbaar way.” She kissed the top of the baby’s downy head. “Let’s call her Anna after my dear grandma; is that okay?”
“That’s fine by me.” Daniel’s smile widened. “If the next one’s a boy, then I get to name him, though. Agreed?”
She smiled and nodded. “Jah, sure. If God chooses to give us another miracle, you can name the boppli whatever you choose.”
As Rebekah’s thoughts drifted slowly back to the present, the pain in her heart lessened a bit. If God could perform so many miracles, allowing her to give birth to five babies after the doctors had said she might never conceive, then He could do anything.
“Dear Lord,” she whispered in prayer, “You blessed Daniel and me with our special kinner to raise, so now I’m committing my oldest child into Your hands and asking that You give her a life full of love, joy, and miracles beyond measure.” She paused as tears clogged her throat and clouded her vision. “Please let Anna know that we love her despite the shunning she’s brought on herself by choosing to marry Reuben and go English.”
CHAPTER 9
Rachel tossed and turned in her bed for most of the night. Knowing Anna wasn’t in her room across the hall left a huge empty spot in her heart. Until recently, she and Anna had shared secrets and hopes for their future. For some time, Rachel had known something was going on with Anna, but she’d thought her sister was only going through a phase that would pass. Never in a hundred years would she have suspected that Anna was interested in Reuben or that the two of them had been secretly courting. And the fact that they’d run off and gotten married by an English justice of the peace was the biggest shock of all.
Rachel closed her eyes and tried to picture Anna married to Reuben, making their home in Lancaster, wearing English clothes, and living the fancy, modern life.
“Does Silas know about this yet?” she whispered into the night. Surely Silas’s heart would be broken when he heard the news, for he’d lost Anna not only to the modern world, but to one of his childhood friends, no less. Thinking about Silas helped Rachel feel a little less sorry for herself, and it was a reminder for her to pray for him.
Ping! Ping! Rachel rolled over in bed. What was that strange noise? Ping! Ping! T
here it was again. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It sounded like something was hitting her bedroom window, but she couldn’t imagine what it might be.
She hurried across the room and lifted the window’s dark shade. In the glow of the moonlight, she could see someone standing on the ground below. It was a man, and he appeared to be tossing pebbles at her window, of all things.
“Who’s wanting to get my attention at this time of night?” Rachel muttered as she grabbed her robe off the end of the bed.
Quietly, so she wouldn’t wake any of the family, she tiptoed in her bare feet down the stairs, being careful not to step on the ones that creaked. When she reached the back door, she opened it cautiously and peered out. She could see now that it was Silas Swartley standing on the grass, bathed in the moonlight.
Rachel slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind her, and dashed across the lawn. “Silas, what are you doing out here in the dark, throwing pebbles at my window?”
He whirled around to face her. “Rachel?”
She nodded. “What’s up, anyhow?”
Looking more than a bit befuddled, Silas shifted his long legs and gave his suspenders a quick snap. “I ... uh ... thought it was Anna’s window I was throwing stones at. I’ve been wanting to speak with her for several days but never seem to get the chance.”
Rachel’s heartbeat quickened. So Silas didn’t know. He couldn’t have heard the news yet, or else he would have realized Anna wasn’t here. She took a few steps closer and reached out to touch his arm. “Anna’s not in her room, Silas.”
“She’s not? Where is she, then?”
Rachel’s lower lip quivered, and she pressed her lips tightly together, trying to compose herself. This was going to be a lot harder than she’d thought. “I hate to be the one telling you this, but Anna ran off and got married last night. She left home this morning.”
Silas’s mouth dropped open like a window with a broken hinge. “Married? Left home?” He stared off into space as though he were in a daze, and Rachel’s heart went out to him. She had to tell him the rest. He had the right to know. Besides, if he didn’t hear it from her, he was bound to find out sooner or later. News like this traveled fast, especially when an Amish church member left the faith to become English.
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