“Did ya hear what I said about Anna?” Perry gave Joseph’s shirtsleeve a tug.
“I heard. Just thought it best not to comment.”
Perry raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
As they stepped into the barn, Joseph sent up a silent prayer on Anna’s behalf and another for them all to feel less tension.
CHAPTER 11
It was another warm day, and Rachel, accompanied by Elizabeth, had gone to the town of Intercourse to buy some things their mother needed. Since Dad paid Rachel for working in the greenhouse, she bought a few new things for her hope chest—just in case.
“How about some lunch?” Rachel asked her little sister when they’d finished their shopping. “Are you hungry?”
Elizabeth giggled and scrambled into the buggy. “You know me, Rachel; I’m always hungry.”
“Where would you like to go?” Rachel asked, tucking her packages behind the seat, then taking up the reins.
“I don’t care. Why don’t you choose?”
Rachel nodded and steered the horse in the direction of the Good ’n Plenty restaurant. The girls soon discovered that the place was crowded with summer tourists and that the wait would be about half an hour.
Elizabeth said she needed to use the rest room, so Rachel stood in the hallway outside the door, waiting for her. She grimaced when a man walked by wearing a baseball cap with an inscription on the front that read BORN TO FISH. FORCED TO WORK.
That’s just like me. I’d love to go fishing every day and never have to work in the greenhouse again, but that’s not likely to happen, I guess.
As the fisherman disappeared, Rachel caught a glimpse of a young Amish man coming from the door that led to the restaurant’s kitchen. She thought nothing of it until she got a good look at him. It was Silas Swartley, and he was heading her way.
“It’s nice to see you, Rachel. How are things?”
Rachel slid her tongue across her lips and swallowed hard. Why did Silas have to be so cute? Why had she allowed herself to fall in love with him? Except for biweekly preaching services, she hadn’t seen much of Silas since that night he’d come to the house, looking for Anna. The fact that Rachel had been the one to give him the shocking news about her sister running off with his friend still stuck in her craw. It should have been Reuben or Anna doing the telling, not her. But no, they left without thinking of anyone but themselves. Seeing Silas standing here now, looking so handsome yet unapproachable, left Rachel speechless.
Silas held a wooden crate in his hands, and he shifted it slightly as he took a step closer to her. “Has the cat got your tongue, or are you gonna answer my question?”
“W–what question was that?”
“I asked how things are.”
She swallowed again. “Oh, about the same as usual. How’s it at your place?”
“Everything’s about the same with us, too. I brought in a crate of fresh potatoes from our farm. This restaurant buys a lot of produce from us.” Silas nodded his head toward Rachel. “How come you’re here?”
“Elizabeth and I came to town for a few things. We’re here for lunch.” She suppressed a giggle. “Why else would we be at the Good ’n Plenty?”
Silas’s summer-tanned face turned red like a cherry, and he stared down at his boots. “I ... uh ... don’t suppose you’ve heard anything from Anna.”
Rachel swallowed once more, only this time it was in an attempt to dislodge the nodule that had formed in her throat. It wasn’t so surprising that Silas would ask about Anna. He was obviously still pining for her. Truth be told, Silas was probably hoping Anna would change her mind about being English and come home again. But even if she did, what good would that do him? Anna was a married woman now—out-of-bounds for Silas Swartley.
“Anna wrote me a letter the other day,” Rachel said. “She’s written to her friend Martha Rose a couple of times, too—and of course, to our mamm.”
“What’d she say in her letter to you? Or would you rather not share that information?”
“It was nothing special.” Rachel shrugged. “Just that she and Reuben are pretty well settled in now. She got herself a job as a waitress, and Reuben’s still painting houses and all.”
A lady wearing some strong-smelling perfume walked out of the women’s rest room, and Rachel’s nose twitched as she fought the urge to sneeze. “Guess they’ve got to have lots of money, since they’re living in the modern world and will probably be buying all sorts of fancy gadgets.”
Silas’s dark eyebrows furrowed. “Sure wish Anna would’ve waited awhile to marry Reuben and not run off like that. Maybe if she’d thought it through and given me more time to win her heart, things might have turned out differently for all of us.”
From the things her sister had said about Silas, Rachel doubted he could have ever won Anna completely over, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. No point hurting his feelings more than they’d already been. “Anna’s gone now, and I’m pretty sure she’s never coming back,” she mumbled.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I just know, that’s all. My sister and her husband are walking a different path now, and Anna made it clear in her letter that it was her choice to join Reuben in the English world, and she hopes we’ll accept her decision.”
Silas shook his head. “I’ve known Anna since we were kinner, and I always thought we were good friends. It’s hard to accept the idea that there’s no future for me and her now.”
Rachel’s heart ached for Silas, but more than that, it ached for herself. She was sure he would always love Anna, even if they couldn’t be together. So much for hoping he might ever be interested in plain little Rachel. Hopeless, useless daydreams would get her nowhere, yet no matter how hard she tried to push it aside, the dream remained. “The future rests in God’s hands,” she mumbled as Elizabeth came out of the rest room.
“Jah.” Silas turned and headed out the door.
***
Silas left the Good ’n Plenty feeling like someone had punched him in the stomach. Anna and Reuben weren’t coming home. Old memories tugged at his heart. He had trusted Anna, and she’d betrayed that trust by sneaking off with his friend, the whole time letting Silas think she cared for him. Could he ever trust another woman not to hurt him that way? Even if Anna changed her mind and came back, he knew she would never be his. She was a married woman now ... married to his friend Reuben.
Deep in his heart, Silas knew he had to accept things as they were and get on with his life, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t imagine any kind of life without Anna Beachy.
Poor Rachel. She had looked so sad. He figured Anna’s leaving must have hurt Rachel as much as it had him, only in a different sort of way. He would have to remember to pray for her often ... and all the Beachys, for that matter. No Amish family ever really got over one of their own running off to become English, and from the look he’d seen on Rachel’s face today, he figured she had a long ways to go in overcoming her grief.
Silas climbed into his buggy and gathered up the reins. “Giddap there, boy,” he said to his horse. “I’ve got some work waiting for me to do at home, so let’s get going.”
***
“Was that Silas Swartley you were talkin’ to?” Elizabeth asked when she stepped up to Rachel.
“It was him all right.”
Elizabeth stared up at Rachel. “Well, what’d he have to say?”
Rachel wrinkled her nose. “If you must know, little naasich one, he was asking about Anna.”
“I’m not nosey. I just wondered what he had to say, that’s all.”
“Jah, okay.” Rachel knew that just because she felt frustrated over the conversation she’d had with Silas, it wasn’t right to be snippy with Elizabeth.
“I think he used to be real sweet on our big sister. I heard Mom say somethin’ about it to Dad once.”
Rachel grimaced. “Jah, he was. I’m afraid he’s still pretty broken up over her and Reuben leaving.”
/> Elizabeth grabbed Rachel’s hand and squeezed her fingers. “Anna’s never comin’ back, is she?”
“Probably not, unless it’s just for a visit.”
“Can we hire a driver and go to Lancaster sometime? I’d surely like to see my big sister again.”
“That probably isn’t such a good idea,” Rachel said, pulling her sister along as they made their way down the hall. “At least, not right now.”
“How come?” the child persisted.
“Because Dad won’t like it. Maybe later, down the road, he’ll be willing to let us go there.”
“I miss Anna a lot.”
“Me, too.” Rachel felt sick at heart because she couldn’t visit her sister. How could she explain all this to Elizabeth when she couldn’t make sense of it herself? She knew if they went to Lancaster to see Anna without telling Dad and he found out about it, he’d be furious. Besides, that would be a sneaky thing to do, and there’d already been enough sneaking going on in their family lately, which she knew wasn’t right. And what if Elizabeth took a liking to the modern way Anna was living and decided to seek after worldly things herself? It might be better for everyone if they visited with Anna at their own place, not hers. Of course, Dad might have some things to say about Anna coming to visit them right now, too.
In all of Rachel’s eighteen years, she couldn’t remember ever seeing her father so angry and determined to make one of his children pay for a decision that went against his will. Of course, she reasoned, Dad might be acting so perturbed because he’s upset that Anna’s leaving has put us all in a position where we have to shun our own flesh and blood.
“Your table is ready now,” a young Mennonite waitress said as they returned to the restaurant’s waiting area.
Rachel smiled, glad for the diversion. Maybe after they were seated, Elizabeth’s mind would be on filling her empty stomach and not on Anna. Might could be that the discussion would be dropped altogether, and they could eat a quiet, peaceful lunch.
Much to Rachel’s chagrin, no sooner had they taken a seat at the table and placed their orders, than the questions began again.
“Are Mom and Dad really mad at Anna?” Elizabeth blinked several times. “They never talk about her anymore.”
Rachel drew in a deep breath and offered up a silent prayer. She needed God’s wisdom just now, for sure as anything she didn’t want to make things worse by telling her sensitive, young sister something that might upset her even more.
“It’s like this,” she began, carefully choosing her words. “I’m sure the folks still love Anna very much, but they also love being Amish. They believe in the Ordnung and want to abide by the rules of our church.”
Elizabeth nodded soberly. “I’ve tried talking about Anna several times, but Dad always says it would be best if I’d forget I ever had her as an older sister. How can I do that, Rachel? Anna’s still my big sister, ain’t it so?”
Rachel was tempted to correct the girl’s English but decided it would be best not to make an issue of it right now. She reached across the table and gently touched Elizabeth’s hand. “Of course she’s still your sister, and nothing will ever change that. As I’ve told you before, Anna’s moved away now, and she wants to live like the English.”
Elizabeth’s lower lip trembled. “She really don’t want to be Amish no more?”
“I’m afraid not. But we can surely pray that someday she and Reuben will change their minds and be willing to reconcile with the church.” Hot tears stung the backs of Rachel’s eyes. Today had started off well enough, but after seeing Silas, talking about Anna with him, and now trying to make Elizabeth understand how things were, she felt all done in. She had no answers. Not for Silas, not for Elizabeth, and not for herself. As far as Rachel was concerned, her life would never be the same.
She lifted her water glass and took a sip. If only she could get Silas to take notice of her now that Anna was out of his life. She was here; Anna wasn’t. If only God would make Silas love her and not her older sister, who was now out of his reach.
As she set the glass back down, a little voice in Rachel’s head reminded her that God never forced a person to love anyone—not even Him. If Silas was ever going to get over losing Anna, it would have to be because he chose to do so, not because of anything Rachel might say or do.
I can still hope, though. Rachel was reminded of what the Bible said in Psalm 71:14: “But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.” She would definitely continue to hope.
CHAPTER 12
One evening, Rachel’s family went out the front porch to sit awhile because it was still too hot inside the house to go to bed. Mom was in her wheelchair, mending one of Joseph’s shirts. Dad sat beside her in the rocker, reading the Amish newspaper, The Budget. Joseph and Perry sat on the steps, playing a game, and Rachel shared the porch swing with Elizabeth. It was a quiet, peaceful night, in spite of the sweltering August heat.
Rachel mechanically pumped her legs as she gazed out at the fireflies rising from the grass like a host of twinkling lights. An owl hooted from a nearby tree, the gas lantern hanging nearby purred, and the sun dipped slowly below the horizon, transforming the sky into a hazy pink. If not for the fact that Rachel still missed Anna so much and had been forced to take her place in the greenhouse several hours a day, she would have felt a sense of contentment as she soaked up God’s handiwork.
Of course, I’ve lost Silas, too, she reminded herself. Ever since Anna and Reuben had left, Rachel sensed that Silas was mourning his loss. She’d seen him at preaching services several times, and no matter how hard she tried to be friendly, he remained aloof. Maybe she should give up the hope of him ever seeing her as a woman he could love. “It’s just a silly dream,” she murmured.
“What’d you say?” Elizabeth nudged Rachel with her elbow.
Rachel’s face heated up. “Nothing. I was only thinking out loud.”
“Daydreaming is probably more like it,” Joseph said with a chuckle. “I’ve never known anyone who could stare off into space the way you do and see nothing at all. A daydreaming little tomboy, that’s what you are.”
Rachel grimaced. Was Joseph looking for an argument tonight? Maybe he’d had a rough day out in the fields. Could be that Perry had been goofing around and hadn’t helped enough. Or the hot weather might be all that was making her big brother a bit cross.
“If you ever plan on any man marrying you, then you’d better turn in your fishing pole for a broom.” Joseph shook his head. “A grown woman isn’t supposed to climb trees, splash around in the river like a fish, and stand around for hours gawking at dumb birds.”
Rachel folded her arms and squinted at Joseph. “I refuse to let you ruffle my feathers.”
He snickered. “Aw, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was just funnin’ with you, that’s all. We need some fun around here, wouldn’t you say?”
Rachel shrugged. “I thought maybe you were gridlich because you’d had a rough day.”
“I think we’re all a bit cranky,” Dad spoke up. “A few more sweltering days like this, and everything in the garden will dry up, like as not.”
Mom nodded. “I’ve had to water things in the greenhouse a lot more than usual, too.”
“Everyone has their share of troubles,” Perry put in. “Did ya hear about Herman’s Katie breakin’ her arm?”
Rachel’s ears perked right up. “Silas’s mamm?”
Perry nodded. “Jah. Heard it from her son Sam this morning when we went fishin’ at the pond near Swartleys’ place.”
“When did this happen?” Mom questioned. “And how?” “Sometime yesterday. Sam said she fell down the cellar stairs.”
Mom clicked her tongue. “Ach, poor Katie. How’s she going to manage all her chores with only one good arm?”
“Guess her boys will have to chip in and help out more,” Dad commented. “It’s a downright shame she doesn’t have any girls.”
“I could give her a hand,” Rachel
volunteered, trying to keep the excitement she felt over the idea out of her voice. She did feel bad about Katie’s arm, and she really did want to help, but the main reason she’d suggested it was because she thought if she went over there every day, it would give her a chance to see Silas.
“You helping Katie out is a nice thought,” Dad said, “but you’re needed here, especially in the greenhouse. August is a busy time, what with so many tourists coming by and all. I’m helping Joseph and Perry in the fields part of each day now, and we sure can’t expect your mamm to handle things in the greenhouse all by herself.”
“I used to manage pretty well when I was a young woman,” Mom said with a wistful sigh. “Guess those days are well behind me now, because I get all done in if I try to do too much on my own anymore.”
“How ’bout me?” Elizabeth chimed in. “I like flowers. Can’t I help in the greenhouse?”
Mom looked over at Elizabeth and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I need someone at the house to keep things running and get the noon meal fixed for the menfolk.”
Joseph turned to face his mother. “Say, I’ve got an idea.”
“What might that be?”
“Why don’t you ask Pauline Hostetler to help out with the greenhouse? I know for a fact that she loves flowers.”
“And how would you be knowin’ that?” Dad gave Joseph a quick wink.
His face turned beet red, and he started squirming a bit but gave no reply.
“Joseph’s sweet on Pauline.” Perry chuckled. “I saw him talkin’ to her at the last preaching service.”
Rachel couldn’t believe her bashful brother had finally taken the initiative with Pauline. She thought this bit of news might be beneficial to her, as well. She jumped off the swing and raced over to her mother’s wheelchair. “I really would like to help out at the Swartleys’. If Pauline agrees to work at the greenhouse, I’d even be willing to pay her with some of the money I’ve made this summer.”
The Hope Chest Page 10