Nikki understood the difficulty. Living in a small town, everyone knew everyone, and feelings could easily get hurt.
“You don’t need to remind me,” she snapped, feeling trapped. “They took a second mortgage to pay for this damn thing. Melanie told me. I was furious, and told them that was ridiculous, that we’d have a destination wedding, but they refused to consider the offer. I’ll pay them back every cent if it takes me years.” She gritted her teeth, looking at his face. “How can you just sit there, like nothing is wrong?”
“We can get past this. We’ve had disagreements in the past, and a few ups and downs here and there. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Doesn’t mean we can’t still get married and have a good life together. My parents have been married thirty years, and yours about the same. They beat the odds. Who’s to say we won’t too?”
She sat down and put her head in her hands. “I can’t see how this is possible. I wish I could, but the way I feel right now is that going through with this charade would be the biggest mistake we’ve made yet.”
David stood up and laid his large hands on her shoulders, kneading them gently. “Don’t take it so hard. I’ll forgive you for screwing around. I know you’re a good person and must feel really shitty about it. I’ll never mention it to you again. No one ever needs to know. You loved me before and you’ll love me again. Just give it a few days. Think about it. Okay?” He leaned over and kissed the nape of her neck. “I love you, honey.”
Tears filled her eyes and slid down her face. Her shoulders shook and sobs racked her body. David pulled her up and into his arms. He held her close, and murmured sweet nothings into her ears.
All she could think of was Josh, wishing she had his number. If she was able to locate him, would he be able to save her?
CHAPTER TWELVE
Josh returned to San Francisco and threw himself into work, but he couldn’t get thoughts of Nikki out of his brain. He functioned on autopilot, waking up, putting on his suit, driving through city traffic to get to his office well before rush hour made the streets impossible. He’d get to work by six-thirty most days and he liked the quiet mornings before the office workers showed up. He had his Starbucks coffee and a donut for company, and a stack of reports to work his way through.
Still, his coffee cooled and his reports went unread as he thought about that last night with Nikki and how she’d left despite his asking to see her again. He’d wanted to explore their feelings away from the magic of Vegas. He knew that what they had was real, at least it was for him, or he wouldn’t still be thinking about her. Three days had passed and he’d searched the internet for information about her, but she had an unlisted number, and no address listed.
He didn’t even know if she lived alone, or shared a place with her fiancé. Was the apartment under his name? She had said she was from Mesa, but she hadn’t told him the name of the school she worked at. There were hundreds of elementary schools in that city, and he’d be damned if he’d call every one.
She shouldn’t have run out on him like that. Did she still plan to marry this guy? Had she told him about their weekend, or kept her mouth shut? Did she still love that jerk, or was she yearning for him, the way he was yearning for her? Had their fling been a mistake? He found that hard to believe. Not because he was a cocky son-of-a-bitch, but because he knew how good they’d been together. Never seen anything like it. That kind of passion went beyond skin deep. It came from some place deep within. He’d never been in love, but he imagined this is what it felt like.
He couldn’t sleep or breathe without seeing her face and wanting her. And if that wasn’t love he didn’t know what was.
Josh booted up his computer and decided if he couldn’t find Nikki, perhaps he could connect with her sister. Most girls her age were on social media. Wouldn’t surprise him a bit if he found her on a personal Facebook page. Damn. Why hadn’t he thought of that before?
He had an account which he used to connect with his brother and his family and college friends. But he only used it sparingly, perhaps once a month. Still he knew enough to navigate the system and it only took a few minutes before he found her. Melanie Collins. Had a lot of friends too. Over five hundred. He sent her an IM, made it real casual like. Could they be friends? How was everybody? Was the wedding still on?
He finished his cold coffee and leafed through his paperwork, hoping Melanie would get back to him sooner, rather than later.
Later could mean Nikki might be married. He needed to see her to make sure that didn’t happen.
* * *
Nikki was caught up in a whirlwind of activities as the days flew by. Preparing for her wedding, something that should be the happiest day of her life, was not the exciting, joyful experience it should be. Instead, she felt miserable, and each day closer filled her with dread. She couldn’t talk about it with anyone. Not her parents, not even her sister. They both kept the secret locked up inside of themselves, but Nikki knew from Melanie’s anxious looks that she was worried about her.
Nikki hadn’t wanted to tell Melanie about David’s affair. She had told her that David chose to forgive and forget the terrible mistake she’d made in Vegas, and that he didn’t ever want to bring it up again.
Still, Melanie was attuned to her, and she could see the falseness in her smile, the lack of real joy in her eyes. Not that Melanie needed to worry about that. Nikki would go through with the wedding and intended to make David a very good wife.
She had learned her lesson and it had been a tough one. Passion was nothing more than a fleeting moment—short lived, and not to be counted on. Passion did not last. She had a wonderful friendship with David. They knew each other, perhaps a little too well, but she believed the old saying, better the devil you know than the one you don’t.
She had loved David once, and she would learn to love him again. She had every intention to make her marriage happy and successful, just as her parents had.
Not marrying him was no longer an option. The clincher had been the previous evening when she and David and her parents had gone out for dinner. They had sat around the table laughing and chatting about the upcoming nuptials. She’d been quieter than usual and her father had glanced at her suspiciously.
He’d even asked her as a joke, “Nikki, you’ve been unusually subdued the last few days. Anything happen in Vegas we should worry about?” He’d chuckled and raised a brow when her cheeks had flushed. “Now, now. No need to worry. We are all grown ups around this table, and every one of us knows that what happens in Vegas, stay’s there, right?” He’d nudged David as he said it.
David had slung an arm around her shoulder and winked at her dad. “You bet, Hank. I’m sure she’s just a little overwhelmed right now with bridal showers and last minute preparations. Right, honey?”
She nodded, and her mother spoke up. “Pre-wedding jitters. That’s what it is. Plus you’ve been dieting, haven’t you?” Her blue eyes roamed over Nikki. “You’ve lost weight. Keep this up and your wedding dress will have to be refitted,” she said, eyeing Nikki’s full plate. “Stop playing with your food and eat.”
“Mary, I’m glad you noticed.” David ran a hand up Nikki’s arm. “I’ve been telling her that for days. She’s barely eating enough to keep a bird alive.”
Feeling like a child again, she’d picked up her food and dived in. For the remainder of the evening she’d made an effort to engage in the conversation but it had seemed forced, even to her own ears.
Her mother had followed her into the bathroom and demanded an explanation.
“What is really wrong, Nikki? I’ve never seen you this way before. It’s not the wedding you’re worried about.” Her eyes were full of concern as she studied Nikki’s face. “Is it?”
Unwanted tears had filled her eyes. She couldn’t remember crying so much as she had in the past few weeks. Having an affair was not healthy for the soul, and she wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
“No. I don’t know when it happened or how
it did, but I don’t feel the love for David that I should. I mean he’s like my very best friend, and everyone thinks we’re great together, but something’s missing…”
“And how long has this thing been missing?” he mother asked, hitching her butt near the sink.
“Well, I felt like a different person in Vegas, and when I returned and saw David, it wasn’t the same as before.” She bit her lip. “He confided that he’d had an affair…and I know this woman! She works at Hooters.” Nikki dropped her eyes. “But that’s only half of it.” She hesitated for a second, then blurted, “I met someone in Vegas.”
“So that’s it.” Her mom reached out and held her hand. “It’s all right. You don’t need to say anymore. I’m sure that both of you, after five years of dating, have had the urge to flirt and be with someone else. You are both so young, and really have dated so little. But this marriage is going to go on. We’ve sunk a lot of money into it, and I know that you both will be very happy. I wouldn’t encourage you to marry David if I didn’t believe that.”
“But I can’t stop thinking of this other guy.”
“Well, you better stop. End this foolishness right now. It won’t do you or your marriage any good. If you had a fling, good for you. Now put it behind you and be a good wife and mother. That’s what I did and I never regretted it.”
“You!” Nikki’s mouth fell open. “You had a fling? While you were with Dad?”
“Not that I’m proud of it, but yes. I did. He was gone one weekend and I went out with some girls to a festival and I met a rock singer. He was like no one I’d ever known before. He knocked my socks off, and it was a wild and crazy ride, but when that weekend was over I shoved it in the corner of my mind and kept it there for twenty-seven years. Once in awhile I take it out, dust if off, and get a giggle or two, but that’s where it stays. A memory. It wasn’t real or lasting, and I certainly would not have wanted to marry him. Your dad is the only man I would want to be married to. We have been very happy.”
“I know you have, but I’m just so shocked, that’s all.”
Her mother smiled. “You think people from my generation didn’t misbehave too? Sex has been around for a long, long time, and infidelity too. It’s not something to be proud of, but as long as you don’t repeat the offense I see no reason to mention it.” She kissed Nikki’s cheek. “So the wedding will go on, and one day you’ll thank me for it.”
Nikki was silent, trying to digest it all. Her heart was heavy, and she couldn’t imagine ever being happy again. “I hope so, Mom. I will marry David and learn to love him again.”
“That’s a girl. You’ve always been sensible, knowing what was good for you.”
She nodded, unable to speak. The words that floated in her mind were yes, she did know what was good for her, and that was Josh. Yet, Josh didn’t want a wife. He wanted a successful career and a woman was only a stepping stone to get him to where he wanted to be.
As much as she would love to be there every step of the way, she wanted to be the most important thing in his life, not just a small part of the ladder he needed to climb.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Nikki woke up in the morning to the sound of a bird chirping outside her bedroom window. It was her wedding day. She laid there for a few minutes, digesting her feelings, and to her chagrin she couldn’t find any. She felt no elation, no eagerness, no sorrow, no nothing. She was getting married. It was okay. She felt fine about it. She would be happy, just everyone wait and see!
She stretched and yawned. Glancing out the window she let her mind wander, visualizing the ceremony and how it would proceed. There she was, a beautiful bride, walking down the aisle toward her big, handsome groom. David turned to look at her and smile. People got misty eyed and sighed with pleasure. Yes! It was a lovely vision, a natural turn of events. No drama, no second thoughts, no regrets.
She smiled, sure that everything would work out according to plan. A lovely wedding, a beautiful life.
She probably should get up, and yet, lying in bed for just a few more moments was too pleasant to resist. She heard Jennifer in the kitchen and she smelled the coffee brewing.
They both should be hung over after the drinking they’d done last night. Jen had flown in and insisted on sleeping on the pull-out couch so they could be together the last night of her single life. She loved her friend and hoped that marriage wouldn’t put a distance between them. Perhaps Jen would meet someone soon, and then they’d both be married and have that in common. They could have their children around the same time too.
Planning her life out was fun, but Nikki’s nose twitched and she sat up in bed. The coffee smelled delicious and she wanted it badly, but hated to move. Maybe if she yelled out to Jennifer, she’d bring it in to her. Why not? In eight hours she would be married. Forever.
She pondered that for a few seconds. Instead of filling her with happiness, it almost felt like a life sentence, a heavy price to pay for one weekend of infidelity. Oh, shuck it! This was not the time for regrets. She had years ahead of her for that.
She was wearing a pink sleep shirt from Victoria Secret, so no need to dress. Pushing all thoughts from her mind, she slid out of bed and went into the kitchen on a quest for caffeine.
“Good morning,” she called out with a big, happy smile plastered on her face. “Coffee smells great.” She grabbed a mug, added cream, and poured the strong, chicory brew into her favorite cup. She lifted it to her nose, breathed in, and then took a careful sip.
“So how does it feel? Your last morning as a free woman?” Jennifer’s back was to the counter and Nikki couldn’t help but laugh. Jen’s hair was in a messy ponytail, her eye makeup smeared and it brought back memories of weekends in college.
“I’m ready,” Nikki said, still scalding her tongue.
Their late night of catching up had included an entire pitcher of skinny margaritas.
Jen put a hand to her forehead. “I’ve had two Advils, but I still feel like I’m going to puke. Might need some hair of the dog this morning to make it through the ceremony.”
“It’s too early to start drinking,” Nikki told her sympathetically. “How about some toast? Or a fried egg sandwich? We need substance, girl. Then we can have champagne while we dress.” She hugged her friend and grinned, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Which she didn’t. She was marrying the man she loved, the man who would be the father of her children, her husband until death do them part. Amen to that.
Every night this week she’d gone to bed and prayed that she’d wake up happy and eager to marry David, and to feel butterflies when she looked into his familiar face. But so far her prayers had gone unanswered. She’d always been a good girl until lately, and one sin, just one, and God turned his back? That was so unfair.
“Okay,” Jennifer staggered over to the kitchen table and sat down, putting her feet up on an empty chair. “Coffee first, then breakfast.” She leaned back and tilted her head, gazing at the ceiling. “Let’s play a game of ‘what if’.”
“I don’t like that game. There are no more “what ifs.” Nikki popped into a chair beside her. “Whatever I could have done or not done—as the case may be—has no bearing on the fact that soon I will be Mrs. David Hammond.” She leaned forward, nearly knocking over Jennifer’s cup of coffee. “Did I tell you that David’s dad is building us a house as a wedding present? I still can’t believe it. Our own house, gifted to us by his parents. Like wow, right?”
“Yeah, like wow. Did they know their son was humping Big Boob Betty?”
“I don’t know. It was never brought up in any of our conversations.”
“Well, it should be. And an annulment clause in case he ever gets the itch to do it again.”
“Oh, you are too hard on David. Just because he made the big mistake and hit on you once. Didn’t mean anything. That’s what he said. It was a mistake. He’d had too much to drink. Same with Betty. Didn’t mean anything. Not to him. To me, maybe, but definitely not to him. Men
are strange, aren’t they?”
“Yup. I’m better off without one.”
Even with sleep-face and a major hang over, her best friend was a knock-out. She could have her pick of guys, but at the moment she was choosing her career. “Right you are.” Nikki toasted Jennifer with her coffee cup. “Josh was all over me, but when I left he never bothered to find me. He’s probably already dating someone else—searching for Miss Corporate Ladder.” It stung her pride that she could be so forgettable.
“Maybe he put an ad on Facebook or better yet, on Craig list.” Jen snorted and coffee flew out of her mouth. “Maybe he’ll meet a serial corporate killer.”
“Now that’s a nice thought.” Nikki handed Jennifer a napkin. “I thought you liked him and were kind of pushing us together.”
“I liked him, but you didn’t need any pushing. You two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. So tell me. What was it like? Details, girl. We won’t be able to talk about this later. You’ll be an old married woman, and we won’t be able to have sleepovers anymore.”
“Don’t say that. Our friendship won’t change. I won’t allow it.”
“Hate to say it, but you’ll be under the Hammonds’ thumb. Especially once you move into the home his parents built for you. Won’t be easy to walk away then.”
“I’m not walking away from anything. I’m making a commitment to David, and that’s that. And the men in my past, I can kiss their memory good-bye.”
“Bet there’s one you’d like to kiss good-bye.” Jen said it with a teasing smile, but Nikki didn’t want any reminders of how good Josh’s kisses tasted.
“Oh, shut up. I don’t want to think about him on my wedding day. The only man in my thoughts is David. David. David.”
DOUBLE TROUBLE: TROUBLE IN VEGAS series Page 9