Sneaking around definitely had some perks, she told herself. A few of the places she hadn’t bothered with until Hunter came along, and sharing them with him made the experience that much sweeter. Of course, it wasn’t idyllic hiding their affair from friends and family, or keeping it under wraps at work, but they were enjoying their secret life and getting to know each other without outside distractions. Just the two of them cocooned in their love nest, separate from the world.
By the end of the month Jennifer was feeling a little more comfortable at work, believing they had fooled everyone. No one suspected their hot and heavy affair. Until she walked into the cafeteria one morning, and Barry sidled up beside her with his tray in his hands. “So, is it true?” he asked. “You and Hunter? I didn’t see it coming.”
She gulped and nearly dropped her plate of scrambled eggs. “Why would you ask? Where did you hear that?” She felt the prickling in her neck and knew her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes lifted and she saw the disappointment in his.
“It’s been the main piece of gossip since the Vegas trip.” He sighed and shook his head. “Everybody’s been watching you two, studying your body language, taking bets. I told them all they were crazy, but then Thomas said he’d seen you both at the Wharf last week. He had his brother in and they were doing the usual sights.”
“He must have been mistaken,” she said quickly, and felt worse for the lie. She paid for her breakfast and walked to a table.
Barry followed her and waited. “I figured you were too smart to get cozy with the boss.”
She glanced at him. An attractive, interesting, intelligent guy. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with him? She’d heard he had a way with the ladies but she could have given them a good run for their money. But no. Fate had chosen a different path for her.
Jennifer looked away and wiped her hands on a napkin. She shrugged off the guilt and took a deep breath. “We are friends. That’s all. You can tell everyone that what we do outside of the office is our business, no one else’s.”
Her appetite was gone. She picked up her coffee, and without a backward glance she left Barry and all the curious eyes in the cafeteria—moving quickly down the corridor, and back up to the second floor where she could hide in her office.
Her heart was heavy. It had been too good to last. Now, she had to choose between the man she loved or the dream job. If she stayed, she’d lose all respect from her co-workers and instead of admiration, she’d see contempt on their faces. Besides that she was so damned embarrassed she could die.
She kept her door shut, and as the minutes and hours ticked by she grew cold inside and out. Like her emotions were frozen into a block of ice. Jennifer stared at the paperwork in front of her, but the words blurred. At noon, she stepped out and told her assistant that she would be leaving for the day and to hold all calls. On her drive home, she texted Hunter.
“They know. We’re an office joke. I’m taking a few personal days. Need to sort this out. I’ll be in touch.” She couldn’t cry, couldn’t allow herself to feel how far she’d crashed from the top.
When she got home, she threw some clothes in a bag and drove to the airport. Hunter had called and left several messages, but she couldn’t talk or face him right now. She knew she was holding on by a thread, and the only thing she could do was get away for a few days and figure things out. Jennifer had always had a plan for her life and then Hunter came along and that plan went to shit. As much as she loved him, and she did love him, it wasn’t enough. She needed to make another plan. A better one.
She was not so much running away from him, but running to her future, she told herself. And right now, she needed her mother.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Honey, it’s been almost two days. Tell your mother what’s the matter.” Gina brushed Jennifer’s hair back off her face. “I’m happy about this unexpected visit, but you’ve been moody ever since you got here.”
Jennifer blinked and pulled back. “I’m sorry, Mom. I just have trouble at work and needed to get away for a break. Don’t much feel like talking about it. I’ll sort it out. I always do.”
“Come, sit down. Let’s try to figure this out together. Two heads are better than one.” Gina scratched her head. “Even this old gray one.”
Jennifer smiled and hugged her tight. “You’re not old. Only fifty-six. That’s so young! I have an idea. While I’m here why don’t I take you to a salon and get your hair colored? A few highlights would make such a difference.”
“Oh, phooey! What about the crow’s feet? Who’s going to fix that? Besides, nobody’s looking at me anyway. Nothing but a bunch of old farts around this place.”
Jen giggled. “Old farts can still be fun. Especially if they like to go out to dinner or dancing.” Why hadn’t her mom dated?
“If they wanna do that, they can get a younger chick. This old gal has retired her dancing slippers.” She poured two mugs of coffee and sat down at the small round table. She had already put the cream in both, so Jen took the seat opposite her, and glanced out the sliding glass door.
It was hot and dry, the sun beating down on the brown earth even on this mid-morning day in October. “You want to know how big a fool your daughter is?” she asked, caressing her pretty floral mug. “All right, then.” She sighed, then turned her gaze on her mother. “I slept with my boss in Vegas.”
“Oh.” A moment of silence, then Gina added, “Well that’s one way to get job security.” She chuckled. “Really—the question is—do you want to do it again? Was it a spur of the moment thing, or are you falling in love with your boss?”
Her mom surprised her by how well she handled what to Jennifer was catastrophic news. “You get right to the point, don’t you?” Jennifer lifted the mug to her lips, took a small sip, then placed it on the table. “The latter, I think. No, I know. I love him.”
“And how does he feel about it?”
“Not sure. I mean, I know he likes me. At least in bed, but he doesn’t want a wife anymore than I want to be one. He had a lousy divorce and is focused on his career and making time to see his son.” She couldn’t think about his son, or if she had a child how emotionally that would impact him. “I want to climb that corporate ladder. Not sleep my way up it.”
Her mother’s green eyes crinkled and danced with laughter. “Too late for that, from the sounds of things.”
“See? This is why I didn’t want to mention it. Everyone at the office has been taking bets on us, and we’re the butt of jokes.” She ran her finger around the edge of the mug. Her mother had always been her biggest champion. “It’s so embarrassing. I’ve lost their respect. How can I possibly go back to work?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Her mom slapped the table. “You have to! And you will. Give yourself another couple of days. Rest, relax, then get yourself back there. Don’t dignify the rumors with a response. Keep your head held high. Do your job. And don’t admit anything, apologize to anyone, or give them any reason to think you might quit. Remember, your boss is in hot water too. By admitting your own guilt, you will be admitting to his.”
“I know. That sucks.” Jennifer wiped away a wayward tear. She was stronger than that. She didn’t cry! She had fought hard to be the woman she was, and a mere lapse of judgment wouldn’t change that.
Her mother nodded. “It does.” Her voice softened and she leaned over to stroke her wrist. “Sweetie, you two have to decide if your feelings for each other are real and heading anywhere, or whether you want to end it now, and put it firmly behind you. Sneaking around behind closed doors is not going to work.” Her mom tapped Jen’s forearm, bringing her back to a time when she was thirteen and in trouble for talking on the phone instead of doing homework.
“Thanks, Mom. That’s great advice,” she retorted, angrily. Angry at herself for not being smarter. “Why not tell me something I didn’t know?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m just trying to help.”
Jennifer’s shoulders dropped and she p
ut her head in her hands. “I know you are, and I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat,” she mumbled then straightened. “I’m not angry with you, but at myself.”
“That’s all right,” her mom said. “I understand.”
Her mom always listened without judgment, and growing up Jennifer had always been able to confide in her—she was her mother and best friend.
Jen got out of her chair to give her mother a hug and kiss her cheek before sitting back down again. “It’s just that we’ve talked about this too, and we just keep going around and around, and usually the discussion ends up in bed and forgotten. We really enjoy being together. If I wanted a man in my life, he would be the perfect choice. But I don’t. Mom, it’s important for me to make a success out of my life. I don’t want to be a mother and wife. At least not right now.”
“I know.” Her mom’s mouth pursed and her hold on the coffee mug tightened. “You want a better life than the one I gave you.”
“It’s not that. Well, not entirely.” Was that so wrong? “It’s just that I know how hard you struggled, and I want your struggles to be over. I like working. I love my position as production manager, having a team working under me. I love what I do, and I’m good at it.” She lifted her chin proudly. “You taught me not to be afraid of hard work.”
“Then it seems your choice is clear. Break up with Hunter. Tell your boss to stay out of your bed, that the job means more to you than he does.” Her eyes glittered as she watched for Jennifer’s reaction.
“Right!” Jennifer folded her arms around her middle and leaned back in the chair. It sounded so easy. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”
“Sure you can, if that’s how you feel. Trust your instincts, honey.”
Jennifer gnawed on her bottom lip and stared over her mother’s shoulder, blinking back tears. “I don’t know how I feel. It’s not a simple choice.”
“I’m sure it’s not.”
“Oh, Mom!” A huge sob ripped out of her and those blasted tears spilled down her cheeks. “This is such a mess! You have no idea.”
“What is it, dear?” Her mother put a hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “What aren’t you telling me?” Her eyes were worried. “I’ve never seen you like this.”
Jennifer was silent for a few moments, rocking back and forth in her chair. When she’d composed herself, she answered. “My period is late. Almost a week.” She had taken the morning after pill that she’d told Hunter about, and they’d been vigilant about using condoms since that one night. She had done everything right, but it seemed she was to be punished just the same.
“Oh, dear.” Her mom pushed back her chair, and now came around the table to give her a hug. She lifted Jennifer’s chin and gazed into her eyes. “My poor baby. I see your problem. This is a game changer, isn’t it?”
Jennifer shook her head in denial. Her tear-filled gaze clung to her mother’s. “It doesn’t have to be.” She rushed on. “He doesn’t have to know. I could stay here. See a doctor. I don’t have to have a baby. I’m free to make that choice. I’m an adult. It’s my body, my choice.”
Her mother kissed the top of her head and squeezed her shoulder before stepping away. She sat down next to her and took her hand. “He has a right to know.” Her voice was gentle, not accusing. “You should tell him. Once you know for sure.”
“No, I can’t! I know what he’d say. He’d want to marry me and keep the baby. But that destroys everything. I couldn’t work there anymore, and I’d feel as if he had been trapped. He wouldn’t marry me by choice.”
“You don’t know that. If he’s as smart as I believe he is, he’s probably already in love with you.”
“Oh, Mom. That’s only because I’m your daughter. We hardly know each other.”
“It sounds to me like you do,” her mother stated with a small smile.
“We’ve only worked together for seven months, and have been intimate for the past month. That’s not enough time to know whether you could live together or make a lifetime commitment.”
“Doesn’t matter how long you know someone, hon. There is no guarantees either way.”
“I know…but
“No, buts. Jen, sweetheart, you need to think long and hard on this. It could just be stress. Your period might come in a day or two. But if you are having a baby, I hope you embrace it. A baby is a gift, the most precious gift a person could ever ask for.”
“I’m not ready for a baby, mom.”
Gina stood up, taking the coffee mugs with her. She gave them a quick rinse before putting them in the dishwasher. “I know you believe that, and it might be true. This is a decision only you can make, and I’ll support you no matter what you decide.” She walked over to the table and put her hands on Jen’s shoulders. “Is it too soon to try that kit they sell in the pharmacy? Then at least you’d know one way or the other.”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been in this situation before. But I’ve been thinking about it.” She looked at her mother, her strong and supportive mother, and stood, ready to move into action. “I’m going to do it. If you don’t mind me taking your car, I’ll run down to the store and pick up a couple of tests right now. Two for good measure!”
“That’s a good idea. The keys are on the counter.”
Jennifer nodded. “I’ll just put some clothes on and go.” She gave a half-hearted smile, feeling better for having shared this worry with her mother. “Worse case scenario, I could probably find a job here in Phoenix. That way if I did decide to have the baby, you might help me out with some babysitting.”
“Well, I can’t think of anything better,” her mom said, grinning. Joy lit up her face and Jen thought she looked ten years younger. “A baby! What a blessing that would be.”
“Oh, Mom. It would be the worst thing that could happen to me.”
“No, my sweet girl. It would be the best. I may not know a whole lot about this world, but that is the one thing I know for sure. You’ve been my pride and joy since the moment you entered my life.”
Jennifer’s heart thudded and she felt a queasiness in her tummy. She understood how difficult it would be to get rid of her baby—and Hunter’s. It would tear her own heart out, but motherhood, single motherhood in this case, and balancing a career would be difficult at best. Impossible at worst.
She didn’t have enough money to pay daycare or a nanny, and to have her own mother sit every day for an infant—it would be exhausting work, and unfair. Her mother deserved to relax and enjoy life after all these years, not to be settled with her kid, and the responsibilities of helping raise another child.
She couldn’t do that to her mom. Or her baby. Much better not to be pregnant. To terminate it if she was. Not to live the life she had walked away from. She’d made promises to herself that she must keep.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Hunter sat behind his desk, his stomach a knotted mess. He’d confronted his employees and learned the truth. People were placing bets and Hank the mailman was taking the money and keeping track of names and the amounts. Not having an affair paid 2-1. Obviously the majority were convinced of their guilt.
He had no idea where Jennifer was or if and when she intended to return. After the text she’d left, she had refused to communicate with him. She wouldn’t answer her phone, text or emails. He was so damn angry that he was tempted to fire her! But what good would that do, if she didn’t intend to come back?
He kept his office door closed and twirled his chair around to face the windows. Nobody dared rap on the door to chat or annoy him with questions regarding their projects. They damn well knew better. He’d bite off any heads that dared to pop in. It wasn’t right, but he couldn’t stop himself.
He had left for an hour, gone down to the local pub and had two beers with his greasy burger for lunch. Now he had heartburn to boot.
His indigestion sucked lately, but it was only one small aspect of his life that had taken a nosedive. Jen had walked out the door and he hadn’t felt a
moment’s peace since. He was irritable, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t breathe. And he sure in hell couldn’t work. He came into the office every day, telling himself that today would be different. She’d be back. He’d enter the building with a confident stride in his step, sure that when he stepped out of the elevator he’d find her sipping coffee outside the canteen.
When she wasn’t there, disappointment kicked him in the gut. Fool that he was, he’d still glance toward her office hoping to catch a glimpse of her working on the computer or talking on the phone.
Oh, how he hated her. She had ruined his life. His stomach was in turmoil, he couldn’t work, couldn’t think. And he was miserable. Lonely. He missed her smile, her laugh, the sound of her voice, the light in her eye as she looked at him, the passion in her face as they made love. She was a witch, that’s what she was. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, and until he had his hands on her again, he’d feel this same loss, this emptiness that her absence had created. He had a big gaping hole in his damn heart, and did she care? Did she respond to any one of his damned phone calls, his urgent messages?
He didn’t even know where the hell she was. He didn’t know if she had anyone in her life she’d have escaped to. He knew she had a mother, but he had no frigging idea where the woman lived.
DOUBLE TROUBLE: TROUBLE IN VEGAS series Page 20