by Anna Jacobs
When they’d gone, Laura went across to her father. She’d never seen a dead person before but you could tell that this was just the body, that the spirit had gone somewhere else. And somehow, she wasn’t frightened of seeing her father’s body as she had been of seeing Craig’s. “Oh, Dad,” she said softly, “I’m going to miss you so.”
There was the sound of the front door closing and Kit came to join her. “Shall I check that Deb’s right? I know a bit about first aid.”
She nodded and moved back, but she didn’t need to be told.
He bent over her father and after a short time moved away. “Sorry.”
“You can see he’s dead, can’t you?”
Kit nodded. “I’m afraid so.”
She looked at her dad and brushed away a tear. “I don’t know what to do.”
“There’s nothing we can do until the doctor certifies that he’s died of natural causes. I don’t think we should move him, even.”
He went to hold her close, but after a moment she pulled away, not daring give in to her need for comfort because, as she had to remember, he had been with Jules the night before. She saw him frowning at her as if he could sense something was wrong between them, but he didn’t ask what it was, thank goodness.
A couple of minutes later headlights shone outside and they heard a car pull up, then the sound of its door closing.
Kit looked at Laura, who was standing looking down at her father. “I’ll answer the door.”
Yet again someone confirmed that Pop was dead. The doctor looked at Laura, who was standing with her arms wrapped round herself. “He can’t have felt anything. Look how peaceful his face is. Um - has he seen the doctor lately?”
She nodded. “Yes. Dr Sampson, I think.”
He pulled out a mobile phone. “I’ll have to call him. If your father had something wrong with him that might have caused this, I can sign a death certificate and there’ll be no need for an autopsy.”
“Dad went for a check-up a couple of weeks ago. He’s got - he had - a heart problem, nothing serious, he said, but he squirted something under his tongue if he had to walk far.” Why had she believed her father when he said it wasn’t serious? Why hadn’t she persuaded him to take things easy and let others care for her mother?
The doctor nodded and began dialling, walking out into the hall and speaking into his mobile phone in a hushed voice. When he came back he said, still in the same quiet tones, “Dr Sampson has been his doctor for years. I won’t go into details now, but he says this could have happened at any time, so I can sign the death certificate for you.”
“Do we need to call the ambulance afterwards?”
“No. A funeral director. Let me do this first, then I’ll not intrude on your grief further.”
While that was being dealt with Kit went into the back room to tell Deb what they were doing. Laura’s mother was sitting fiddling with some food.
There was the sound of the front door closing and Laura came to stand just outside the kitchen, where her mother couldn’t see her.
“The doctor’s left. I need to phone Sue now,” she said in a voice that sounded too controlled to Kit. “Perhaps Dad had made plans - he did about everything else - so she might know who to call.”
“Perhaps we should drive over and tell them in person?” he suggested. “It’s hard to give such news over the phone.” He’d had to do it once or twice, had hated it.
“I can’t leave Deb here on her own?”
“Do you want me to go and tell them for you, then?”
She considered this then shook her head. “No. Better if it comes from me. I’ll phone her. Deb, can you hand me the phone?”
Gran was getting restless and had started walking round the kitchen table so Deb stayed in the doorway after she’d given her mother the receiver. She watched the old woman’s restless circling. Was Gran looking for Pop? Did she even notice who was with her now? Yes, of course she did or she wouldn’t get so agitated when Mum was around.
Not for the first time she wondered how you’d feel if your own mother rejected you like that?
Or your daughter?
On that thought she glanced sideways at her mother, who was watching Gran from the hall, her face ravaged with sorrow. Without thinking, Deb moved to put an arm round her and Laura put up one hand to clasp the hand on her shoulder, giving her a very sad smile as they stood there together.
“Better phone Sue, get it over with.” Laura moved out into the hall again. To her enormous relief it was Trev who answered and she managed to tell him what had happened without breaking down.
His voice was even more gentle than usual. “I’m so sorry, Laura love. I’ll tell Sue, then I’ll be round as soon as I can. I - um - don’t know whether Sue will come with me.”
“Can you contact Angie as well?”
“Yes. I’ll fetch her from the pub on my way over there. Eh, she’s going to miss the old man. We all loved him.”
She was about to put the phone down when he added, “Don’t do anything about a funeral director until I get there. Your dad’s already arranged that. I have all the details.”
Laura held the buzzing phone for a minute then took a deep breath. She’d better contact Ryan next. She looked at her watch. He’d be at work now. She rang his number there and they told her he wasn’t in today, because his partner wasn’t well.
Partner? What partner? Ryan didn’t have a steady girl friend, let alone a live-in one, or he’d have told her. Anyway, he’d only recently moved to Melbourne.
She rang his home number and when a woman’s voice answered, said curtly, “I was trying to contact Ryan Wells.”
“Just a minute. I’ll fetch him.”
Ryan came on the phone a minute later. “Yep.”
“It’s me.”
“Mum? Hi. How are you?”
“I’m all right, Ryan, but I’ve got more bad news, I’m afraid.” She explained.
There was dead silence at the other end.
“Ryan? Are you still there?”
“Yes.”
“Will you be able to come over for the funeral?”
“Yes, of course. But there are a few complications. Now’s not the time to explain. I’ll get back to you tomorrow morning your time. Will you still be at Pop’s?”
“No. I’ll be back where I work. Just a minute. Don’t hang up. Who’s the girlfriend? They said at your work that your partner had been ill. You’ve got a live-in partner?”
“That’s the complication. I will tell you about it later, I promise.”
He hung up the minute he’d said that.
Kit had to take the phone out of Laura’s hand and set it back in its cradle because she just stood there staring at it, listening to it buzz.
This time Laura let him put his arms round her and hold her close for a few minutes. Then they went to sit on the stairs and wait for Trev to arrive, while Deb kept watch over Gran in the kitchen.
Chapter 27
Ryan turned to Caitlin, who was watching him anxiously. “My granddad’s just died and I have to go to England for the funeral. Mum’ll need me. I doubt Deb will be much use in a crisis.”
She went and put her arms round him. “Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry. You were very fond of him, weren’t you?”
“Yeah. He was a wonderful granddad. I phoned him every month and we chatted. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve confided in him, asked his advice - and taken it. He was wise and kind. I try to be like him, but I know I’ll never be as good.” He looked at her with tears welling in his eyes. “He always made more sense than Dad when it came to dealing with people, though I knew if I were in trouble, I could turn to Dad for help, of course.”
She couldn’t think what to do but hold him and then as he began to sob, she cuddled him even closer, rocking him slightly, letting him weep for his grandfather.
After a while the tears stopped but he stayed where he was, sighing once, still holding on to her tightly. “I can’t seem to think,�
�� he muttered. He could feel his breath warming the space between their cheeks, his tears still damp on her soft skin. He had never felt so close to anyone in his life.
Her voice was low, her words for him only. “Then don’t try to think. Wait till you’ve come to terms with it.”
His voice was muffled by her hair. “Thanks.”
“It’s good that I can help you in return for all you’ve done for me.”
That made him sit up suddenly. “Oh, hell, I can’t go to England and leave you here! Barry knows where you’re living.”
“I’ll manage. I’ll see if I can take out a restraining order against him. Or I’ll just head off and find a hotel somewhere. If I get some money out of the bank before I start, perhaps he won’t be able to chase me electronically. Don’t worry about me, Ryan. Your mother needs you.”
But he shook his head. “No. You both need me.” He sat frowning at her then took her hand again, looking deep into her eyes, searching, trying to understand her feelings. And it seemed to him that there was that special warmth in them, so he took a risk. “Look, I have to be blunt because there isn’t time to let things develop naturally between us. How do you feel about me, Caitlin? Am I just a substitute for my father or a friend to help you out in this bad patch? Which I’m happy to do, whatever your answer. Or else . . . could there be more between us?”
Her eyes met his steadily and she didn’t hesitate for even a second. “I’ve been hoping for a while there could be more - wishing I’d met you before I met Craig. And in case you’re wondering, I think you’re very different from him and I love you for yourself. Can you forgive me?”
Her tone became bitter as she added, “A lonely naïve girl falls for the oldest, corniest line on earth! How stupid can you get?”
Relief coursed through him and he had no need to consider his answer because she’d spoken from the heart. For all her natural elegance, she seemed to him a typical country girl, open and honest. It was one of the things he liked most about her. “There’s nothing to forgive, Caitlin. We all make mistakes and what happened brought us together, so how can I regret that? And you made Dad happy, so I can’t regret that, either, not now I know how short a time he had to live.”
“Oh, Ryan, I - ”
Her voice choked up and he pulled her towards him, kissing her very gently on the lips. “No one is perfect. Not you, not me. I look back and feel I didn’t support Mum like I should have done. At Uni it was full on - work, play, freedom. When I look back I can see I was high on it all. Then when I got a job, it was great having money for a change. I was enjoying life so much I didn’t want to rock the boat by getting serious about anything or anyone. So what right do I have to throw bricks at you?”
“You don’t need to throw any. I’ve told myself enough times how stupid I was - even before Craig died.”
He looked at her searchingly, “I really do care about you, Caitlin. When we’re apart, I look forward to seeing you, when we’re together I feel comfortable. I worry about you and that cousin of yours . . . This isn’t a good time, but I want to pursue our relationship very seriously.”
Her answer came without hesitation. “So do I.”
“And I’m sorry you lost the baby.”
“Yes.” She stared down at their clasped hands. “I’m sorry too. It deserved a chance of life.”
He waited a moment then asked, “Do you think you’re well enough to fly to England with me?”
She stared at him in shock. “How can I intrude on your family at a time like this?”
“It’s the only way. I have to go. I’ll never forgive myself if I’m not there for Pop’s funeral and I have to see Mum, make sure she’s all right now. Deb says she’s shacked up with this guy, you see. I can’t believe that. Mum isn’t the sort to have a casual relationship. But if she is seeing someone, I want to meet him.”
“That’s all very well, but this definitely isn’t a good time to tell her about us!”
“We don’t have much choice. I’d have told her soon anyway. I tried to do it a few nights ago and chickened out. I won’t deceive the people I care about. Pop wouldn’t have done that and neither will it. I loved Dad but I’m never going to follow his example. So I intend to phone Mum and tell her about us before we leave.”
“But she must hate me!”
“I don’t think she’s the hating sort.”
“Any woman would resent me, though.”
“Mum may be stiff at first, but that’ll change when she gets to know you, I know it will. Besides, you can’t get much further from your cousin than England. You’ll be safe if you come with me.” He smiled as he said the all-important words for the first time. “I love you, Caitlin.”
She didn’t hesitate. “I love you too, Ryan.”
“So you’re coming?”
“I suppose so. What about your job, though?”
“They can either give me some leave or dismiss me. I can always find another job, but I can’t find another family - or another partner like you.” He gave her a faint smile. “Hey, if we can make it after such an unpromising start, there has to be something really good going for us, don’t you think?”
She found herself smiling back. “Yes, I do.”
He planted a kiss on her cheek, then went to the phone. “I’ll see if I can contact someone from Personnel, then I’m going to visit a travel agent. You’d better come with me. Oh! You have got a current passport, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but it’s never been used. I was going to Bali, then I started the baby and wasn’t well enough. You’re a lovely man, Ryan Wells!” She planted a kiss on his cheek, then went to get dressed properly. It had happened quickly, but she loved him so much. She just hoped he loved her enough to stay with her. And that his mother would be able to come to terms with it all. She couldn’t bear to come between them, would rather give him up.
What’s more she’d give the money back. Definitely. She didn’t need it now, whatever happened.
Ryan turned as she went back into the living room. “Ready? Good. Let’s go.”
But when they got to the door they found Barry standing there, looking grimly determined, and behind him a couple who could only be Caitlin’s parents because the woman looked so like her.
* * * *
Trev put the phone down and turned to Sue. “It’s bad news, love. Come and sit down.”
For once she didn’t argue but followed him into the living room and sat without a word, her expression apprehensive.
When he hesitated, she asked, “What is it? Just tell me and get it over. Is it Mum?”
“No, it’s your dad, I’m afraid. He’s had a heart attack. He’s - dead.”
She stared at him in horror. “Dad? Not Mum?”
“I’m afraid so.” He watched her carefully.
Her hands fluttered up to cover her mouth, one on top of the other, as if it took all her strength to hold in the pain, then she spread them helplessly. “I can’t seem to take it in. I can’t - think straight.”
He put an arm round her. “It’s shocked me too. It seems so unfair after all he’s been through this past year or two.”
“How did it happen?”
“He was sitting watching television with your mother and when Deb went in to say the meal was ready, he was dead. Looked very peaceful, they said.”
She began to rock to and fro, weeping in great gulping outbursts of grief now. When he pulled her into his arms she let him, something she hadn’t done for a long time.
But Sue never wept for long and soon she was pulling away from him, wiping her eyes, trying to straighten her hair.
He let go. “I’ll do what’s necessary, Sue. You stay here, rest, come to terms with it.”
She stared down at her lap, tearing tiny pieces off the sodden tissues, then her hands stilled and she looked up at him again. “I have to go and see him.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“What about your mother? What’s going to h
appen to her now?”
Sue shook her head and a tear rolled down her cheek. “I don’t know. I can’t look after her, Trev, I just - can’t.”
He patted her shoulder. “I know. Anyway, you’ve enough on at the moment looking after yourself. But the pills are helping, you know they are.”
She nodded.
“Don’t stop taking them this time. I want my wife back.”
She gave him a tremulous smile. “I don’t know why. I’ve been an absolute shrew. And I still keep wanting to clean up, again and again . . . ”
“Shh, love. Don’t dwell on it. They told you to try to think of something else. Now, get your coat. We have to go and tell Angie then go to your Dad’s. Laura’s there.”
A hint of bitterness crept into Sue’s voice. “She’ll be coping brilliantly. She always does.”
“She’s not on her own. Deb’s with her and that fellow she works for is there too.”
“Angie says he’s nice. I wonder if he’s screwing her.”
“Sue, don’t! There’s no need to be jealous of Laura, especially not now.”
“I’m a rotten cow. I’ve got you and her husband left her, but still I feel jealous that she copes with everything so much better than I do.”
“We do the best we can. That’s all anyone can ever manage.” He looked at his watch. “I still think you should stay here.”
She stood up. “No, I’m coming with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not sure about anything - except that I don’t want to stay here on my own. And I do want to see Dad one last time.”
* * * *
Laura sat on the stairs with Kit beside her. They seemed to have been there for a long time and she couldn’t think of anything to say, was grateful that he didn’t try to force conversation out of her.
Waiting. There was a lot of that to do when someone died. “Do I hear a car?”
As she went to open the front door, Deb came out of the kitchen to join her.
“I’ll keep an eye on your mother,” Kit said quietly.
“Thanks.”
Angie came hurrying down the path towards them, but Sue was still standing by the car and Trev had his arm round her protectively as she stared at the house.