The Wishing Well

by Anna Jacobs

  He parked the car and escorted her inside, where a quiet-voiced man in sombre clothing showed them where to sit. When Kit took hold of her hand she let him, turning sideways to look at him and return his encouraging smile with a faint smile of her own.

  At the sight of her father’s coffin, the anger began to fade a little. Such a lovely man. The best father a girl could have had. He’d always told her to control her temper. She’d do it now, and with Ryan, somehow, for her father.

  * * * *

  Sue got up early that day, forced herself not to clean the kitchen beyond a quick wipe over the surfaces. She made a pot of tea, sitting down to enjoy her first cup of the day. Trev joined her soon afterwards, yawning and stretching in his usual noisy way.

  “You all right, love?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll be beside you today.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re doing really well, you know. I’d never have believed you could change so quickly.”

  “It’s still a struggle, Trev. I have to keep telling myself everything’s already immaculate. That’s my key word. And the tablets do help calm me down.”

  “Immaculate is a good word to describe the way you keep the house. I’ve always appreciated the cleanliness - till it got out of hand.”

  When he reached out to give her hand a squeeze, she pressed his in response and they sat for a moment looking at one another.

  “Thanks for putting up with me.”

  He flushed and spoke gruffly, “I love you, you see.”

  “And I love you too.”

  They sat smiling at one another, then she stood up. “Better get our breakfast now. I won’t get dressed till afterwards.”

  When they were ready to leave, Sue went to give herself a final inspection in the full-length mirror. “The black doesn’t feel like me.”

  “It looks like you. The old you. The one who can smile at me.”

  Which made her feel almost shy.

  Together they went out to the car to drive to the Chapel of Rest.

  * * * *

  Angie and Deb woke up early, as they’d planned, got themselves ready and then roused their grandmother and took her to the bathroom. She seemed shrunken today, as if she’d retreated into herself and wanted nothing to do with the world. After breakfast she let them wash her, seeming not to notice what they were doing. When they’d dressed her they took her to sit in the front room.

  “It feels strange to be wearing black,” Deb muttered.

  “It suits you.”

  “Suits you too. But it makes Gran look sort of faded.”

  “I’ve never seen her so placid for a long time,” Angie whispered. “It’s almost as if she knows.”

  “How can she?”

  “I don’t know. But she’s definitely been missing him.”

  “Have you packed her things?”

  “Yes. I’ll go and bring them down.”

  In one way it was a relief when the funeral limousine stopped in front of the house. In another way, it made the purpose of the day all too real.

  “Thank goodness Gran likes going in cars,” Angie whispered as they all got in. “She used to get in herself, now you have to shove her into place.”

  “I don’t like the darkened glass,” Deb said as she settled back. “It makes the whole world seem dull and unhappy. Angie?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve only ever been to Dad’s funeral before. You’ll have to tell me what to do. It might be different here in England.”

  “Keep your eye on Mum. She’s buried several relatives lately, not just old ones but two cousins, and she knows the ropes. Dad and I wondered if that was what had upset her, losing so many of her relatives in the past year. And now Pop. I feel so sorry for her.”

  At the Chapel of Rest, the girls joined Laura, who was sitting with Sue and Trev. Kit was sitting behind them. But Gran wouldn’t settle, so the girls took her outside to walk up and down, something she seemed happier to do.

  “Isn’t Kit coming to the funeral?” Angie whispered as everyone came outside and got into the two limousines, waiting for the hearse to drive in front of them to the cemetery.

  “Yes. He’s going to follow us in his car.” Laura turned round to see Kit getting into his vehicle. “Mine wouldn’t start this morning, so he drove me here. He’s been very kind to me. Oh!”

  They fell silent as the hearse pulled slowly round the side of the building with its flower-piled coffin.

  “Pop would have loved the flowers,” Angie said softly.

  After a moment’s hesitation, Laura reached out for Deb’s hand.

  In the other limousine Sue reached out for Trev.

  Their vehicles started up and fell into place behind the hearse.

  “Mum, what about Ryan?” Deb asked suddenly. “Why isn’t he here with us?”

  “Because I told him to make his own way to the cemetery!” Laura snapped.

  “Did he say - is he bringing Caitlin?”

  “Yes, he is. I told him there wouldn’t be room for her in the limousine.”

  * * * *

  Ryan and Caitlin both woke early. They’d slept in the same bed, he’d held her in his arms, but that was as far as it could go until she recovered from the miscarriage.

  “Are you sure I should be going with you today?” she worried. “It seems wrong.”

  His expression grew determined. “I’m starting off as I mean to go on - openly. We’re together and I’m not hiding it.”

  “I still think . . . ”

  He put one arm round her. “I love you, Caitlin. If Mum can’t at least be polite to you, then she’s rejecting me too.”

  She was too weary to argue, didn’t feel at all well, if truth be told, but didn’t want to tell Ryan and add further worries to this sad day.

  So they ate breakfast - or rather Ryan ate and Caitlin fiddled around with the food on her plate - then they dressed in the black clothes they’d brought with them.

  “You look pale,” he worried. “You should have tried to eat more.”

  “I did try, but I’m really not hungry. I’m too nervous, I think.”

  He kissed her cheek gently. “Let’s go, then.”

  Chapter 31

  At the cemetery, everyone gathered outside the chapel. Some of the Cleatons’ neighbours and old friends were waiting there.

  Angie walked her grandmother up and down, helped by Deb. They didn’t intend to take the old lady inside until the last minute.

  “She’s frightened,” she said quietly. “It’s all strange to her.”

  “Do you think she’ll be quiet for the service?”

  “I don’t know. If not, we’ll bring her out and walk her again.”

  Trev seemed to recognise all the mourners, leading his wife and sister-in-law round to speak to them.

  “How do you know them?” Sue asked her husband.

  “I used to visit Ron sometimes in the evenings. I’d see them as I drove up. Sometimes one of them would come in for a few minutes.”

  Sue stared at him in shock. “You never told me.”

  “You assumed otherwise.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Trev, I’m so sorry.”

  “It doesn’t matter now, love. You’re on the way to recovery, and that’s what I care about most.”

  Laura stared at the ground while this exchange was going on, understanding that it was important and wishing she could fade away to let them talk privately. Trev moved on again and after a moment, Sue followed and Laura trailed behind.

  When Kit arrived, he stood quietly at the edge of the group until Laura noticed him and beckoned him across. She didn’t take his arm, but wished she could, because she was very conscious of being on her own today.

  When Trev went across to help Angie with her grandmother, Deb moved to stand beside Laura and link arms with her. She looked at her daughter in surprise, because this was unusual.

  “It’s hard hanging around, isn’t it?” Deb mutte
red, avoiding her mother’s eye. “I wish they’d just get on with it.”

  Then Ryan arrived, with Caitlin on his arm.

  Laura was astonished at how much weight Caitlin seemed to have lost. She was thin and pale, even her auburn hair seeming subdued and limp. She was clinging to Ryan’s arm as if without it she’d have collapsed while at the same time looking apprehensively across at the family group.

  Ryan walked slowly forward, stopping to introduce Caitlin to his aunt and uncle and leave her with them for a moment before moving up to his mother and Deb. He immediately pulled his sister into a big hug then held her at arm’s length. “You’ve put some weight on. It suits you.”

  She glanced towards Caitlin. “Why did you bring her?”

  “Because she’s part of me now. And because she has nowhere else to go, no one else to look after her. She’s still not recovered from losing the baby, you know. Be kind to her.”

  He turned to his mother. “I’m not going to be the one to break up this family,” he said quietly. “And you look to me like you need a hug.”

  For a moment she resisted, then she let him pull her close. “Oh, Ryan, why?”

  “Because I love her and she loves me. We’ll explain about Dad later. It wasn’t actually a big deal.”

  “Well, it seemed like one to me!”

  “I know this is a bad time for you, but don’t take it out on her. She’s not well.” He beckoned to Caitlin.

  Laura took a deep breath and willed herself to be civilised, as she had the first time she’d met her husband’s mistress, because that was still as much as she could manage. The skin on her face felt suddenly tight, as if she couldn’t move any of the muscles, let alone smile, but with a great deal of effort she managed a nod of greeting. She was pleased when Deb also greeted Caitlin coolly.

  Before the silence could last too long Trev came across to them, with his arm round Sue’s shoulders, leaving Angie and Rick on either side of Pat.

  “Now that Ryan’s here, shall we go inside?” He led the way and everyone followed. Deb stayed by her mother’s side.

  Only when the rest of the family had gone inside did Angie and Rick walk in with Pat. For once she went quietly, seeming soothed by the gentle organ music playing in the background.

  Kit went in last, studying the young woman who had upset Laura so greatly, trying to see her objectively. She had a quiet beauty but everything about her seemed faded today. Ryan’s love for her was obvious in his every gesture, the protective arm round her shoulders, the way his head bent towards her, the way he murmured something for her ears only.

  She didn’t look like anyone’s mistress, Kit decided, let alone one who’d found a new man so rapidly after the old one died. He’d expected her to be brazen - and she wasn’t. She looked gentle, more than that, subdued, as if life had taught her not to put herself forward.

  He’d seen similar situations many times before as a journalist. Two sides, neither of them wicked, both trapped by circumstances into opposing the other. But this time he cared about the woman on one side, the woman who was hurt and angry. Hell, he loved Laura so deeply he was still shocked by his own feelings. And never before had he wanted permanency in a relationship, as he did now. Only he wasn’t quite sure how much she cared about him, in spite of their obvious mutual attraction, let alone whether she wanted them to stay together.

  When he hesitated at the rear of the chapel Laura gestured to him to join her, though Deb scowled at him from the other side of her mother. Oh hell, more tangles! But he was damned if he was letting that spoilt brat of a daughter come between him and the woman he wanted to marry.

  The service began and he learned how very greatly Ron Cleaton had been loved and respected as several people stood up and offered a short tribute to the man, sharing a special memory of him, often relating how he had helped them through a bad patch. It was a pity, Kit thought, that Laura’s father wasn’t here to mediate in this family dilemma. He sounded to have been just the sort of man to do that successfully.

  Through it all Laura’s mother sat staring blankly ahead of her. At one point she began rocking backwards and forwards, then she became still again. It was the saddest sight he’d ever seen, her indifference to her own husband’s funeral.

  After the final words of prayer a curtain was drawn round the coffin and there was a moment’s silence as people looked at one another. Then Trev stood up and went to the front. “We’d be happy to see any of you who want to join us at Gaskell’s. We’ll just let Mrs Cleaton go out first, if you don’t mind.”

  Angie and Rick led Pat out to where a car was parked. Two women stood beside it, the carer who had come in to give Ron breaks from his wife and a social worker. Trev had arranged for them to pick up his mother-in-law because he hadn’t been at all sure how Sue would cope if she had to take her mother to the home, and of course, Pat still got agitated when Laura got too close.

  He led Pat across and helped seat her in the car, because she didn’t seem to know how to get in herself any more. “You’ll be all right?” he asked the carer.

  “Oh, yes. She always behaves when she’s out in the car.”

  “You can come and visit her any time, you know,” the social worker said quietly.

  “We will. Probably tomorrow. At least, I will. My wife will if she’s well enough. And thanks for all you’ve done, Mrs Nash.”

  “It was a pleasure to help Mr Cleaton. He was a lovely man. And Mrs Cleaton’s a lot less trouble than some, believe me.”

  As they watched the car drive away, Sue turned to her husband. “Thanks. I couldn’t have faced another institution yet.”

  “I know.”

  “Wasn’t it wonderful what people said about Dad? They were both good parents. I haven’t been nearly as good with Angie.”

  “It’s what your dad used to say: you did your best. No one can do more. People forget that and try to achieve the impossible. Come on, let’s go and greet our guests.”

  * * * *

  Gaskell’s was a large building, formerly a private residence, with a popular restaurant at the front and signs in gold lettering pointing round the side to “Functions”. More discreet signs just inside the building guided the mourners to “In Memoriam: Ron Cleaton, Suite 3”.

  Laura and Sue stood together near the door, thanking people for coming and shaking hands till their own hands ached. Deb ostentatiously avoided Kit.

  Ryan found a chair for Caitlin and watched over her anxiously. She was, if anything, even paler than before. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Just tired.”

  When most of the mourners had left, Trev gathered the family together and asked them to join him in a side room. “There’s a letter from your father. He wanted it read out to all the family, just the family, after the funeral.”

  Ryan glanced anxiously at Caitlin, so Kit moved across. “I’ll stay with her if you like. I’m not family either.”

  Ryan gave him a very direct look. “But you’re involved with my mother, I’m told.”

  “I hope so. But this has hardly been the time to make sure of that.” He held his hand out to Caitlin. “Kit Mallinder. I’m pleased to meet you.”

  Across the room Laura glared at him before swinging round and marching into the side room.

  Trev waited till they were all seated, then produced an envelope and opened it. “I’ve not seen the letter before, but I promised I’d read it out to you. He wrote it quite recently.”

  My very dear ones

  I feel my time is short now so I wanted to say goodbye to you all in my own words.

  I’ve had a happy marriage, have always provided for my family, and my two girls have been a joy to me ever since they were born. What more can a man of my generation hope for? We weren’t brought up to ask for the moon.

  I want to offer you all a few words of advice, if you don’t mind, because I can see things are not going smoothly for some of you and because it’s the last thing I can do for you.


  Laura, love, let go of your anger. It will only hurt you and do no good to anyone. You’re a grand woman, I’ve never seen anyone design a prettier home than you and your cooking is a delight. It meant a lot to me that you came to try to help me, my dear girl.

  Sue, love, don’t feel guilty because you couldn’t help with your mother. How can you be guilty for being what you are? No one can do more than their best. You’re a wonderful homemaker, you have a lovely husband and you’ve borne a grand lass. You can be so proud of your family, my dear girl.

  Ryan, Deb and Angie, my three bonny grandchildren, I wish you a long and happy life, though I can’t begin to imagine what the world will bring you. But if you help others, as well as making a life for yourselves, you won’t go far wrong.

  Trev, you’ve been the very best son-in-law a man could have and a good husband too. Look after that lass of mine and don’t change a bit.

  I don’t need to ask you all to look after Pat if I go first. I know you will.

  Don’t grieve for me. I’m ready to go. I’m so tired now.

  I love you all very much

  Ron Cleaton

  When Trev had finished reading, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Laura reached out for her sister’s hand and Sue clung to her, sobbing. The three grandchildren were sitting close together and without consciously thinking about it, they held hands with one another.

  “I think,” Trev said quietly, “Ron was a wonderful man and we were lucky to have had him as a father and grandfather. I’m not particularly religious, but I’d like to pray for his soul - wherever it is.” He bent his head and the others followed suit.

  After a few quiet moments, Trev cleared his throat. “He left everything equally to his daughters, because he knew it would mean nothing to Pat now. We can see the solicitor and sort out what to do with things later.”

  He went to Sue and offered her first his handkerchief, then his hand, before leading the way back into the other room.

  Laura remained where she was, sitting staring down at her clasped hands. She became aware that someone was standing next to her and looked up to see Ryan gazing at her anxiously.

  “Are you all right, Mum?”