by Linda Ford
“Uncle Nels. Uncle Nels.” Hettie demanded attention and Nels turned to her, freeing Agnes from the power of his gaze and the foolishness of her thoughts.
“What is it, little darling?”
“You chased the cows back home.”
“Yes, I did.”
She nodded, her eyes bright. “Now they will stay ’cause they know you’ll make them.”
He chuckled. His gaze returned to Agnes’s. “I hope they stay because they want to.”
Agnes teetered on the brink of something that frightened her every bit as much as it beckoned her. “The way you rode as you turned the cows was almost like a dance.”
He laughed. “A dance with a reluctant partner.”
The words might have been a warning. Might have been a promise. Or she might be letting her imagination run away with her. She forced her thoughts to practical things.
“Are you resting the horses midafternoon today?”
“Not unless it gets hotter. I’d like to get in some long days and get my plowing done.”
“The cooler weather is pleasant.”
He left as soon as he finished his meal. It was nice he could get in a full day, but the afternoon stretched before her, long and lonely.
And she was getting as foolish as people had once accused her of being.
That must not happen.
Nels hated to spend the entire day plowing, but it had to be done. At least he could see Agnes and the girls as he worked. He thought of the many things he needed to get done before winter. Do something to make the shed that was his home a little warmer. Put in a stove. Get enough feed to last his cows. Find a milk cow.
He reached the end of the field and turned.
“Not again.” He tied the reins and hoped Pat and Clyde had enough sense to stand quietly until he got back. As he ran to the barn, he wished he hadn’t unsaddled Midnight. With the ease and skill of having done it many times, he quickly tacked the horse and galloped after the runaway herd. The lead cow expected him and veered away. He followed, his horse so quick on his feet the cow didn’t stand a chance. Not that she was ready to give up.
He grinned as she finally gave up and turned back to the pasture.
Agnes thought it looked like a dance, did she? The tone of her voice had convinced him she said it with admiration.
Twice more the cows ran away, until he finally shut them in the pasture again.
“Maybe another day or two will convince them that this is home,” he explained to Agnes. “I can’t keep chasing after them.”
He couldn’t keep them in the fenced pasture very long and, two days later, again guided them to the abundant grass nearby.
But he no sooner got started plowing before the cows took off.
He had no choice but to again put them in the small pasture. “I can’t keep doing this,” he told Agnes. “You’d think they’d realize what a good home they have.” He sighed. “I’m going to town Saturday and hire someone to ride herd on them until they settle in.”
It would be fun to take Agnes and the girls to town with him, but people willing to think the worst of his situation here would surely see that as an indication they were acting inappropriately.
What would it take to convince the community that he only provided Agnes and the girls a safe home?
What would it take to convince himself that was all he wanted?
7
Agnes sensed Nels’s frustration at having to continually chase the cows back. You’d think they’d realize what a good home they have. She, too, had a good home here. And something more that grew more pronounced with every passing day. If she was a cow she would stay and enjoy this life without any fear or hesitation.
But bringing in someone to work with the cows threatened her ability to do so. Would the new man see the way she looked at Nels and come to a faulty conclusion—faulty, at least, in thinking that either she or Nels would act on her growing affection and sense of security?
The Anderson boy strode toward her, carrying milk and eggs. She gave him a few coins to pay for it. “I won’t need eggs any longer.” Nels’s hens had settled in and starting laying.
“I’ll let Ma know. She says to tell you we’re going to town today if you want to go along.”
There was only one thing Agnes wanted in town. Other than that, she had decided the more she avoided others, the less call they would have to think about her. “Would you purchase a roll of tar paper for me? Ask Mr. Lowe to put it on my bill. I’ll pay the next time I’m in town. Could you bring it over first thing in the morning?” That would give her a few hours to tackle the job while Nels was locating someone to work for him.
“Sure can.” He trotted away, and she took the milk inside to put it in a container of cold water to keep it cool.
Nels had gone back to plowing, his saddle horse waiting nearby. Three times throughout the day, he had ridden after the cows.
“They’re a determined lot,” she said. “I wonder what they think is so much better at their old home.”
“The lead cow’s calf was weaned shortly before I bought them. I think she is hoping to find her calf.”
“That’s sad.” She closed her eyes against the sting of tears as she thought of Ray. “At least a cow doesn’t have as long a memory as a human.” The words crackled from her tight throat.
Nels cupped his hand to the back of her neck. “Some things a person never forgets no matter how hard they try.”
She looked into the warm sunshine of his eyes. “It helps to share my pain with you.” Words she should have kept to herself.
He tipped his forehead to hers. “I’m glad.”
The next morning, he waved as he rode away.
“Is he comin’ back?” Hettie’s face twisted with worry.
“He’ll be back,” Agnes assured the child.
“’Course he will.” Lila spoke with utmost conviction. “He told me he would.”
With that assurance, the girls went to their growing pretend town and the nearby pretend farm they called Uncle Nels’s farm. They had become adept at weaving grass and twigs into different shapes. Some very odd. Their explanation of each structure helped Agnes identify them.
She glanced the direction the Anderson boy would come, wanting to get at the shed as soon as possible. He came into sight, a black roll on his shoulders.
She rushed out to meet him and tried to take it. “That looks heavy.”
He shook his head and continued onward. “It’s not bad. Where do you want it?”
“At the shed.” She pointed and he took it that far. “Thank you.” She offered him a few coins for his effort but he again shook his head.
“We’s neighbors and we help out each other.”
She thanked him again. Neighbors who helped, a family, and a solid house. What more could she ask for?
The girls played where she could watch them. She put down a quilt for the baby in the shade of the shed, covering her with a light blanket.
Sucking in a deep breath, she stepped into the little building, feeling like an intruder, knowing her being there would be deemed inappropriate by those who wished to judge. She looked around. Nels’s bedroll was spread neatly on the cot. His clothes hung from a few nails. An empty crate on end to provide a bedside table upon which stood a lamp. Wouldn’t Grandmother Taks be impressed by the man’s neatness?
Realizing it was the first time she’d thought of the woman without flinching, she laughed. Time to get to work. Even those words no longer stung as she set about doing something for the sheer joy of it.
What if Nels didn’t like it?
She’d risk it because she had to do what she could to make his place more comfortable. She unrolled the black paper, cut the first length, then tacked it to the inside of the walls. With three strips up, she stepped back to evaluate her job.
“It’s dark in here.”
Agnes startled at the sound of Lila’s voice. “I thought you were playing with Hettie.”
Hettie peaked inside. “We heard banging.”
Lila nodded. “Wanted to see what you’re doing.”
“I’m fixing Nels’s shed so it will be a little more comfortable. It’s a surprise for him.”
Lila touched the black paper. Hettie followed her example.
Agnes checked on Merry, who slept peacefully, then she returned to the shack. With the two watching her, Agnes continued with the task.
“It’s not very pretty,” Lila said.
“I agree. But I don’t know what else to do.”
Lila brightened. “I know. We’ll find pictures and paste them on the walls.”
“That’s a good idea. But where will we find pictures?”
Lila drooped. “I don’t know. You got any fancy magazines?”
Agnes had one special magazine she had saved for years. It had been among her mother’s things that she had tucked away in her belongings. Thinking about giving it up made her ache inside. But then, hadn’t Nels given up his home for her?
“I have a magazine. Let me finish this and then we’ll cut out pretty pictures.”
They finished by noon. She fed the girls quickly and gave the baby her bottle. Today she was grateful that Merry slept although she might regret it in the middle of the night.
She went to her room and found the magazine. With the girls leaning over her shoulder, helping choose the pictures, she cut the magazine to shreds, every snip severing her from her past.
She paused to consider that thought. It wasn’t as if she wanted to forget her parents. Not that such a thing was possible. But perhaps it was time to leave the past and move forward into the future with three little girls.
“What’s wrong?” Hettie asked when the pause went on for several seconds.
Agnes put the scissors down and wrapped an arm around each girl. “Everything is perfect. We are fixing up Uncle Nels’s place and I have you two and little Merry to love. I’m about as happy as a woman can be.”
They rested their heads on her shoulders a moment.
“When’s Uncle Nels coming back?” Hettie sounded so worried.
“He hasn’t been gone that long, but we better get this done before he returns.” She mixed up paste. Lila carried the pictures as carefully as if they were worth a fortune. Hettie carried the pot of paste and Agnes carried the baby and settled her on Nels’s cot.
She let the girls choose what clipping was to go where and helped them apply paste and put them on the wall. Most of the pictures were going to end up on the lower half of the walls so she picked a few to go on the upper half.
They were done and stood back to admire their work.
“Looks better,” Hettie said.
“Uncle Nels’s place is nice now,” Lila added.
“I have an idea. Wait here.” Agnes raced back to the house for scissors and scraps of paper from the magazine. Back at the shed she showed the girls how she would cut out the shapes of letters and glue them above the window. Done, she stepped back. “Nels’s Place. What do you think?”
The girls clapped.
“We better clean up and get out of here before he comes home.”
They put away the hammer and tacks, stored the left-over tar paper in the barn, and took the other things to the house.
“Just in time,” Lila called. “Here he comes and he’s got someone with him.”
Agnes went to the doorway to watch.
The pair rode to the barn, dismounted, and went inside. Thinking Nels would bring the man to the house to introduce him, Agnes prepared a pot of coffee and put out a plate of cookies.
“They’re coming.” Hettie wavered at the doorway, trying to decide whether to run to Nels as she normally did or hide from the stranger. Her fear won, but she hovered close to the door.
Nels stepped in, saw the girls, and swung Hettie and then Lila into the air. They squealed then grew guarded when he set them down.
“Miss Agnes, girls, this is Tex. He’s come to look after the cows until they grow some brains.”
The girls giggled. Agnes smiled as she welcomed the man. “There’s coffee and cookies.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” The man had thinning gray hair, a face as brown as old leather and as wrinkled as a rag rolled up wet and left to dry. His legs were so bowed he could have put a barrel between his knees. And his voice croaked in a pleasant sort of way. Sort of like the sound of tumbling rocks.
He bent to greet the girls, who clung to Nels.
Agnes decided she liked the man.
They gathered round the table to enjoy cookies, with coffee for the adults and milk for the girls.
“Will you be joining us for meals?” Agnes asked though, by rights, she should leave it to Nels to ask, but she wanted Tex to know he was welcome.
“Thank you, ma’am, but I’ll be eating and sleeping with the cows until they settle down.”
The girls did their best to hide their giggles at his announcement.
He leaned forward, his eyes squinty. “Crazy critters don’t know when they’re well off, do they?”
Hettie’s eyes grew round, but Lila grinned. “Uncle Nels said they need some brains.”
Tex chuckled, a rusty sound.
They finished their snack and Nels took Tex outside. They emerged from the barn a few minutes later. Nels opened the pasture gate and they herded the cows to the west. Nels and Tex sat side by side on horseback, talking and pointing then Nels returned to the farm, took his horse into the barn, and then went to his little abode.
Agnes and the girls waited at the house.
What would he think of what she’d done?
Nels stepped into the shed and ground to a halt. The place was lined in tar paper and pretty pictures adorned the black walls. Above the window was Nels’s Place. He laughed. Wouldn’t Tex think this a girlie place for a cowboy? Good thing Tex meant to spend his time with the cows.
“You like it?” At the doorway, Lila held Hettie’s hand and looked anxious.
“I like it lots and lots, especially knowing you did this for me.” He lifted them both and stood admiring the decorations.
“Aunt Agnes helped.”
He chuckled. “I kind of thought so. I better go thank her.” He carried the girls to the house, set them down. “Go play while I talk to her.”
She sat at the table, her expression guarded.
He remained at the doorway. What had he done or failed to do that brought that look to her eyes? Then he recalled how she told of being criticized and tested and understood she feared he might do the same.
He pulled a chair close to her and cupped his hand over hers clenched on the table. “Thank you.”
Her hungry gaze held his. He felt her seeking more.
“I never expected you to go to all that work for me. I guess I got used to having to take care of myself when I was but a kid.” His voice thickened. “To have someone do something special for me is—” He couldn’t find the words.
She turned her hands to hold his. “You deserve it after all you’ve done for us.” She paused. “No, the truth is, you deserve it just because you are a good man.”
“I deserve it? Seemed I was shoved aside as a child. Not that my parents didn’t love me. That was never in doubt. But they never seemed to have time for me.”
“Perhaps they simply thought you were capable of doing everything yourself and didn’t need their help or attention. After all, you are a very capable man.”
He stared into her bottomless midnight-blue eyes. He felt her gaze dig deep into his soul and open the door of his heart that hid a truth. “I believe you are right. I recall overhearing them say how proud they were that I was so independent.” Light flooded that tiny hidden room of his heart and drove out the dark shadows. He laughed. “You realize you have healed a hurt I’ve carried a long time.”
She squeezed his hands. “I’m glad.”
He couldn’t stop smiling at her.
She ducked her head and tried to pull away from his grasp.
> He tugged at her hands. “I wish I could do the same for you.”
She lifted her face, her eyes shadowed. “Some hurts are forever.”
He wished it could be otherwise but the past could not be undone.
He spent the afternoon plowing, relaxing as he watched Tex herd the cows, keeping them closely contained. The old cowhand would do so until they understood this was home. Then he’d ease up and let them move more freely. But not too far. He understood Nels did not want them mixing with the Longhorns.
Nels smiled as he worked. It felt good to be home. Even better to share his home with Agnes and the girls.
On Sunday morning, a rented wagon again came to pick up Agnes and the girls. Nels followed at a distance and hitched his horse at the far end of the churchyard from where she got down from the wagon. The girls waved at Nels. They would have run to him but Agnes caught them and bent to speak to them.
Nels sighed and walked away. What was wrong with people that friendliness would be judged harshly?
Anker and Lena watched him, their gazes going to Agnes and back. Were his cousin and wife also judging him?
When Lena headed toward Agnes, it was all Nels could do not to rush over and stop her.
Agnes sucked in a deep breath as Lena hurried her direction. She glanced past the woman, measuring the distance to the church door. Could she hope to make it there before Lena reached her?
“Come, girls. Hurry. I want to find a place to sit.” She might have made it except Hettie tripped and she had to help the little girl to her feet and dust her off.
When she straightened, Lena was in front of her. No avoiding her now.
“How is the baby doing?” the woman asked, peeking at the baby asleep in Agnes’s arms.
“She’s a good baby.”
“I don’t suppose she’s sleeping through the night yet?”
Agnes chuckled. “When does that happen?”
Lena laughed. “Not for a while, I’m afraid.”
Agnes shepherded her little crew toward the church, but Lena accompanied her.