He downed the last of his beer and stood, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and tossing a couple bills on the bar before tilting his head toward the drunken entourage. “I can drop them at home on my way.”
“I got Tempie.” The words flew out of my mouth without a moment’s thought.
Her head swung around, sending her ponytail whipping around into her face as her expression portrayed the same shock I felt at my proclamation.
“You get Gypsy and Nona home.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” I answered even as my brain screamed that this was exactly the kind of stupid decision I’d been trying to avoid.
Temperance
Shit.
Shit, damn, hell, shit.
I wasn’t sure I could handle a car ride with Hayes, especially after the heartfelt confession I’d just shared with my new friends earlier. I felt raw after that conversation, like I’d reopened a wound that hadn’t healed properly in twenty-one years.
After entering into a brief argument about who would pay our exorbitant tab, the three men ended up splitting it, each tipping Rory very, very well.
The girls gave me long, exuberant hugs goodbye after we exchanged numbers with promise to get together again soon. And in the midst of my freak-out about Hayes taking me home, I couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing them all again.
“Love you, Ror!” Eden called, looking over her shoulder and waving enthusiastically as Lincoln all but dragged her from the bar. “And you’re awesome, Tempie! So happy to have met you!”
“You too, honey,” I returned with a small wave of my own. “Call me soon.”
“Most definitely!” Her sentence ended on a squeal when Lincoln whipped her around and scooped her into his arms. “Night!” she continued on a peal of giggles as her man kicked the door open and exited through it.
Seeing the two of them like that made my heart clench painfully in my chest. I’d never had that, at least not as an adult, and as I watched through the big windows of the bar as Lincoln smiled at the woman in his arms like she was his very reason for existing, I was hit with the sad realization that I most likely never would.
The feel of Hayes’s hand brushing against the small of my back gave me a start and yanked me from my pathetic musings.
“Hey, ready to go?”
“I, um…. y-yeah. Ready.”
His hand on my back applied pressure, and my feet started moving. When I glanced back to say goodbye to Rory, she made a face that silently communicated what I was feeling, and that was eek! Then she lifted her hand in the universal sign for call me, and I only had time to nod before Hayes guided me through the door and into the cold night.
We were both silent as he led me to his silver Sequoia. He helped me into the passenger seat and climbed behind the wheel a couple seconds later. “Don’t worry about your car,” he said as he backed out of his spot and started out of the parking lot. “I’ll get it back to you tomorrow.”
My heart leaped at his sweet offer. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. I can take care of it.”
“It’s no problem.”
I turned to look at him, the streetlights outside casting moving shadows on his chiseled face. I remembered that strong jaw, those masculine cheekbones, that sexy, prominent nose. Used to be, I could stare at this man for hours and never get tired of looking at him, and just then I struggled to tear my eyes off his profile.
It was only when a flicker of light caught my attention that I was able to turn away, and when I did, I caught sight of the silver pendant hanging from a thin leather strap around his rearview mirror. Reaching up, I brushed the tips of my fingers across the small medallion with an eagle, globe, and anchor, and a bittersweet pang lanced through my chest. I’d given up everything so he could have that, and I’d do it all over again if it meant he got to live that dream.
“Heard you became a nurse,” Hayes said, breaking through the silence that had filled the cab.
“Yeah,” I answered, taken aback that he’d known that. Then again, Aunt Reenie loved to brag about what she considered to be my accomplishments, and she’d been so damn happy when I graduated nursing school. “For about fifteen years now.”
His eyes darted in my direction before turning back to the road. “I remember you always sayin’ you wanted to be a teacher,” he recalled. “A nurse is a big leap from that. What made you change your mind?”
My heart sank as I turned to look out the passenger window. “A nurse can help people,” I answered quietly. “A teacher wouldn’t have been able to help my parents, but a nurse….” I couldn’t finish that statement past the sudden lump taking up residence in my throat.
“Christ, angel,” Hayes said in a ragged, growly voice a moment later, forcing my eyes to return to him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” I cut him off before he could finish his explanation. The sadness was already breaking through my tipsy haze, and I was sure that if I let it continue I’d burst into tears right there in his truck. “It was a long time ago, Hayes. I’m okay.”
I saw his head swivel in my direction and could feel his scrutinizing gaze on me through the darkness. My gut told me he didn’t buy the lie I’d just tried selling, but instead of pushing, he let it drop, and we returned to our corners in silence once again.
The streetlights eventually ended as we hit the outskirts of town, and the only light on the pitch-black gravel road that led to the farmhouse came from Hayes’s truck.
“Jesus, hadn’t realized how long it’s been since I’ve been out here,” Hayes said once he pulled up in front of the house and killed the engine. “Forgot what the stars looked like out here.”
A tiny smile pulled at my lips as I leaned forward in my seat and looked out at the millions of stars shining clear and bright in the night sky.
“Yeah,” I said on a breath. “It never fails to amaze me how beautiful it is out here.”
I felt his gaze on me like a physical touch and slowly turned in his direction. The light in the truck was dim, but I could still feel the heat radiating from his gaze, and felt myself getting lost in it.
“You always did love it out here,” he said, his voice so soft that my chest warmed and my belly flipped.
The atmosphere around us grew thick and heavy with something I hadn’t felt in forever. The air between us seemed to ignite, and I felt my body leaning closer to him of its own accord. My heart began to beat so hard against my ribs I was surprised we couldn’t hear it.
But just as quickly as the shift occurred, it changed again, and I felt like I’d just slammed into a hard, frigid wall of ice.
Hayes’s body jerked back, and it was as if we’d been surrounded by a bubble that had suddenly burst.
“It’s late. You should probably get some rest.”
“Oh, uh….” My stomach sank, and that sadness I was feeling early came back with a vengeance. “Yeah. You’re right. Thanks again… you know, for the ride and everything. I appreciate it.”
“Sure, no problem.” His response was polite enough, but something in his demeanor had changed. A switch had been flipped and a wall slammed down in place between us.
“Well, um… have a good night.”
“Yeah. You too,” he replied flatly.
Scrambling to undo my seat belt, I finally got it off and opened the door. I managed not to trip and fall as I climbed out of his truck and made my way into the house.
It was only once I was closed inside and heard the tires of his Sequoia moving along the gravel drive that I allowed myself to slide down the door until my butt hit the floor, overtaken by the immense hurt that encounter had caused.
Chapter Seven
Hayes
After dropping Tempie off at the farmhouse, I’d gone home and tossed and turned all goddamn night long, recalling the look on her face as she slowly leaned over the console of my truck the night before. She looked like she was about to kiss me, and Christ, in th
at moment I wanted to feel her lips against mine more than anything else.
If I wasn’t thinking about that, I was remembering the darkness that seeped into her eyes when I pulled away.
That was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Distancing myself from her went against every single one of my instincts. But if I was going to survive her leaving again, I was going to have to maintain that deep chasm she’d dug between us years ago.
“Yo,” Trick called, drawing my attention and pulling me out of my head where I’d been stuck for the past five minutes. “I’m sure whatever fantasy world you’re currently stuck in is a lot better than the real one I’ve been livin’ in, but how about you join me here, anyway?”
As my partner’s words penetrated, the pen I’d been twirling between my fingers stopped and I tossed it onto the desk, leaning back in my chair to kick my feet up and rest my boots beside it.
“I’m right here. What’s goin’ on?”
His look said he knew I was full of shit. “You know, people in this goddamn town love to talk. And one of the things they like to talk about most is other people.”
I interlaced my fingers and rested my hands on my gut as my eyebrows lifted. “That statement leadin’ somewhere, or are you just pointing out the obvious?”
The corner of his mouth tugged up in a smirk. “What I’m getting at, asshole, is that I’ve heard all about the epic lost love that was Hayes Walker and Temperance Levine. Christ, to hear people talk, you’d think you were town royalty and the breakup just happened yesterday.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“You’d think the people in this town would’ve found somethin’ more interesting to talk about over the past two fuckin’ decades,” I grumbled unhappily.
“Oh, they talk about plenty,” Trick chuckled sarcastically. “Case and point, the shit show that is currently my life. But they have a tendency stick with their favorite stories.”
Dropping my feet to the floor, I pushed my chair forward and propped my elbows on my desk. “There a reason you felt like sharing this?”
He leaned forward, his expression growing serious. “I saw your face last night, brother.”
My gut twisted painfully as I pulled in a deep breath to try and calm the hurricane currently raging inside me. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about,” I managed to get out between teeth gritted so tight my jaw clicked.
“Really?” he asked disbelievingly. “So you’re sayin’ I imagined you watching her like she was the only woman in that bar? Like no one else existed for you in that moment but her?”
“Jesus Christ,” I snapped, sitting tall and raking my hand through my hair in frustration. “Are we gonna sit here and talk about our feelings now?”
Trick held his hands up. “You wanna share the story of your first period with me, go right ahead.”
“Dickhead.” I picked up my discarded pen with a deep chuckle and threw it at him. He ducked before it hit its mark, but at least the mood had cleared. Rising to my feet, I grabbed my blazer from the back of my chair. “I told Tempie I’d return her car to her this morning. Do me a favor and pick me up from the farmhouse in an hour?”
“You sure you don’t want me to come along now?”
That would have been the smarter call, but I hadn’t been making the wisest decisions as of late. “I got this. An hour should be enough time.”
“All right. I’ll come get you then. But….” He trailed off as I slid my arms into my jacket and settled it on my shoulders. “Just answer one question for me, yeah?”
“And what’s that?” I asked after a moment’s hesitation.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?”
Hell no. “Yeah.”
I could see the doubt written on his expression, but he thankfully let it drop. We’d been partners for a long time, and friends for even longer than that. After Lincoln, he was probably the closest person to me. He knew when to push and when to let something go, and he wisely chose the latter this time around.
I didn’t give him a second look, knowing I was poking at a wound I’d thought had healed a long time ago, as I turned on my boots and headed down the steps of the bullpen to the exit out back.
But when it came to Temperance Levine, I just couldn’t seem to keep my head on straight.
Temperance
I spun around at the sound of twigs snapping, my heart pounding so hard my ribs ached.
“Hayes?”
A large shadowed figure came out from behind the trees in the distance. I squinted to try and see him more clearly while my blood grew cold with fear. I couldn’t make out who it was, but I knew to my marrow that it wasn’t Hayes, and whoever the man coming closer and closer was, I had no doubt he was dangerous.
Very, very dangerous.
“Who are you?” The tremor in my voice echoed over the freezing wind blowing the dead leaves all around my feet. As the figure grew closer, his massive frame became more visible, and the sheer size of the man terrified me. I knew I should run. I knew I should turn and escape into the wood, but for some reason, I just couldn’t
“Stop,” I ordered, lifting a shaky hand to ward him off, but it was no use. He just kept coming. “Don’t come any closer!” I cried into the darkness, stumbling backward. My heel caught on a raised root and I tumbled to the ground. Decaying leaves and mud smeared on my palms as I scooted backward to try and get away from this unknown threat.
The tears spilling from my eyes felt like ice as they ran down my cheeks, leaving that horrid pins-and-needles sensation in their wake. “Please, stop,” I begged, but the dark figure just kept coming.
The moonlight shined through the bare, leafless trees, but the shadow man’s face remained completely black. In the darkness, I could see his arm move, his hand reaching into the pocket of his coat and pulling out something that caught and glinted in the murky light.
“Oh god,” I whimpered. “Please no. Please, don’t do this.” The panic at the sight of the knife in his hand made my lungs frees and my muscles grow stiff. I felt frozen to my very bones, though it had nothing to do with the winter night air, and everything to do with fear that seeped into my very core.
Where was Hayes? What happened to him? He left me that note asking me to meet him here in our spot, and he never showed. And now I was here, alone, with this shadow man, and all I could think was that this was it. This was the end. I was going to die out here in the cold, in the dark, all alone in a place that had once been so precious to me.
Everything seemed to move at warp speed then as the figure disappeared for a single moment, only to reappear standing right over me. His arm went up, the knife glinting again before it became a blur as he brought it down. My lips parted and my blood-curdling scream pierced the otherwise tranquil silence just before I felt the razor-sharp tip of the blade sink into my skin.
I jolted awake from the nightmare, shooting up in my bed as a painful scream tore from my throat, leaving a nasty burn in its wake. My entire body was shaking so badly my teeth rattled, and a cold, clammy sweat had broken out across my skin.
I’d had that particular nightmare more times than I could count. It wasn’t the only one related to that awful night that plagued me, but that didn’t make it any less powerful. Even after all this time, those nightmares still had an agonizingly strong hold on me.
It had gotten so bad years ago that I began avoiding sleep at all costs, living on coffee and energy drinks just to stay awake so I wouldn’t have to relive them. I’d started missing my college classes and was walking around like a zombie for weeks before Aunt Reenie finally had enough and insisted I see a therapist about it.
It took a year of therapy to reach the point where I could handle the nightmares and didn’t fear falling asleep, but they never actually went away.
Pulling in a deep breath, I willed my heart to slow down and the tremors racking my body to subside. It took a minute to calm myself, but once I could breathe normally again, I opened my eyes
and took in my surroundings. The light filtering in through the slats of the wood blinds was only the palest of pinks, and when I looked to the alarm clock on the bedside table, I discovered why. It was barely six in the morning, meaning I’d only gotten a few hours of sleep, and all of them were fitful and tormented thanks to that goddamn dream.
I had the lunch shift at the diner and knew I was going to be dead on my feet, but getting back to sleep after a nightmare was always impossible.
Deciding to make the best of the early hour, I climbed from the comfort of my warm bed to start my day.
I’d been slowly working my way through the large house one room at a time, cleaning away the dust and grime that had accumulated during my aunt’s illness, and restoring it to its former glory, but there was still a long way to go. After getting a shower, blow-drying my hair, and swiping on a hint of makeup to hide the signs of a terrible night’s sleep, I threw on the clothes I’d designated for housework: thick, fuzzy socks, a ratty pair of jeans that fit a bit too tightly in the butt and were so worn out they had rips in both knees, an old tank that had been white at one time but had grown dingy with age, and an old, faded flannel of my dad’s that I wore unbuttoned with the sleeves folded up to my elbows. Tying my hair back in a sloppy bun on the top of my head, I headed downstairs, filling the coffeemaker and setting it to brew before going out to check on Stargazer.
I knew my girl wanted to run by how she acted while I was mucking her stall and laying out fresh hay for her, but I just didn’t have the time or energy. Giving her a quick brush down, I apologized and returned her to her stall before heading back to the house.
The feral barn cat that roamed the property was sitting on the back porch railing, swishing its tail to and fro as it watched me climb the steps.
Come Back Home Again (Hope Valley Book 2) Page 6