by Sarah Cole
“Bugs. Mosquitoes mainly. We’ll get eaten alive, and I can’t have Emma getting the West Nile Viruus or whatever it is now.”
“Babe, we’ll be fine. I grabbed the organic baby repellent for our girl. I grabbed us the heavy-duty stuff, and I have a portable bug zapper. We’re good.”
She still appears a bit hesitant, but she seems to overcome any reservations, and smiles brightly.
“Are you sure you’re OK with this? We don’t have to sleep out here.” I give her an out.
“I don’t care where I’m sleeping, as long as it’s with you.” She smiles warmly at me, melting my heart a bit more.
“Atta girl! Now let’s show you girls how to catch some fish.” I say, and hop out of the truck to go around to open her door.
CLARA:
Damn, his ass looks fine. That’s really all I can think to myself as I watch Flynn unload the truck. I have Emma strapped to my chest in her carrier, like usual, and she’s babbling away seeming to enjoy being outdoors just as much as I am right now.
“Yes, he is! Daddy is so handsome!” I say to her, having a one-sided conversation.
“You know I can hear you, right?” Flynn straightens, casting a cocky smile over his shoulder, and I seriously just want to eat him up. I don’t know what it is about him, but it’s like he unleashed a beast inside of me, and now all I can seem to think about his him and the way his hands feel when they-
“Clara, baby?” Flynn chuckles, as he stalks over and cups my cheek.
“Where’d you go?” he raises his eyebrows, and I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment.
“Uh huh. That’s what I thought.” He draws, arresting me with a lopsided smile.
“Guilty.” I smile, tickling Emma’s bare feet and she starts kicking and laughing her cute little baby laugh.
I plant a kiss on her sweet smelling little head and sigh. I love this little girl so much. I never knew that I was even capable of loving anyone as much as I love Emma, and Flynn for that matter. I know people always say parenthood and the love you feel for your children is unlike anything else in this world, not that I’d believe it given my upbringing, but the vast majority of people feel this way. If what I feel for this baby girl is even a fraction of what I could feel for my own child, I think my heart may physically explode, because I don’t think I could love anyone more. I look at her and all I want to do is keep her safe, protect her with everything I have, and love her so hard she won’t ever question or doubt it.
I raise my head to find Flynn just staring at us with an odd expression on his face, and I fear he’s slipping into one of his episodes.
“You alright?” I question.
He blinks and smiles softly at me, and I know he’s with me.
“Yeah, never better. You ready to catch your first fish?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be!” I sing.
***
Fishing. That was a disaster. Well, it was for me anyways. It wasn’t that I was grossed out by the fish or by even baiting, my hook. Well, ok, that was a little bit of it, but I dealt with it. It was actually pretty relaxing and fun, and I did catch a couple fish, but then disaster struck. I was holding my pole, minding my own business while Flynn held Emma. He was trying to coach me through everything when my bobber thingy went under, so I flipped the bail and jerked, just like he taught me, but as I began to reel nothing happened. Flynn told me I had a snag, and just as he was about to snip the line the creature took off. I say creature or Lake Monster, Flynn says giant catfish. Tomato, to-mah-to. But I digress, once that thing took off, it tried to take me with it. I tried holding on for dear life, but it started pulling me down the bank. Flynn was trying to get Emma into her carrier to grab on and help, but just as he was able, I lost my grip as the cork handle of the pole slipped through my wet, fishy hands. That pole skipped across the calm surface of the water like a stone, until it sank about ten yards out. I was mortified, but Flynn just doubled over in laughter until tears were running down his face and eventually I had to join in. Fishing, apparently is not my forte.
Luckily, dinner was a much more relaxing experience. Flynn brought a mini portable grill, and grilled some turkey burgers I had in the fridge and some vegetables. He packed the fruit salad I made this morning too, and it was sweet. I found that I actually enjoy cooking. I may not be the best at it, but I’m getting better. I feel like Pinterest has helped with that.
“I’ve never done this before.” I say, staring into the little fire pit that Flynn built as I toast a marshmallow.
“Camping?” he prompts.
“Logan, Meredith and I used to sleep on the back porch sometimes at Nana’s, but I mean any of this.” I confess, holding up my now flaming marshmallow. Flynn blows out the flame on it and Emma burrows deeper into my chest in her swaddle.
“You’ve never had a s’more?”
“There’s this place in LA that you can do it tabletop with a little burner, but nope, never the old-fashioned way.”
He studies me, “I have a feeling there’s a lot of firsts we’ll have together.”
I know he’s right, he’s already shown and given me so much. It isn’t only about the new places and experiences he’s given me, it’s the love. He’s given me a home, protection, and a reason to breathe and love.
“Look, angel.” He shifts his shoulder under my head so I’m forced to look up.
“Wow.” I breathe, marveling at the deep blue velvet that has been hung above my head. The very last remnants of the sun linger pink on the horizon, yet the stars are endless and I know in this moment that there has to be something more- something greater than I can comprehend at play in this magnificent universe. The feeling of a calm completeness consumes me, and I know undoubtedly I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
“The sunsets are different, but the stars always seem the same no matter where you are. I know technically they aren’t the same, but when you’re alone in the middle of the desert… they seem the same.” Flynn says softly, easing a sleeping Emma from her sling at my chest and walking her around to the side of the truck where he gently places her in her little make shift bed and opening the back window.
A cool breeze kicks up, taking some of the heaviness in the air with it. I settle myself back on the air mattress, and soon Flynn joins me after putting everything away.
“Tell me about it.” I say. The sound of crickets and other insects lull me into a comfortable contentment as Flynn pulls me to him, snuggling closer under the quilt.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything you’re willing to tell me.” I say.
“I don’t want to ruin this moment with you. Someday I’ll talk about it with you because I want you to know all of me. It wasn’t all bad, though. At times, there was this sense of peace that seemed to surround me. Especially on those nights where I slept outside. I would just stare up and think. Wonder if one day I’d ever get to do this with someone I love… my wife and kids. I never wanted all of that before. I was too wrapped up in myself. I was such a little dickhead.” He laughs silently to himself, my head bouncing on his chest with the motion.
“And now you do? Want a wife… and more children?”
“Hell yes. It’s all I want, angel. I don’t know if it was just me being immature before, or if the Army made me figure out the real value in life, but something changed and expanded. When I found out Erica was pregnant with Emma, I’m not going to lie, I was scared shitless, but there was never a second where I regretted her. My only regret is that it wasn’t with someone I loved deeply and could build a life with, someone who would be there for her.”
“Flynn, you are an amazing father to Emma. She’s never going to question how much you love her. You can do it.” I try to boost his confidence because I know it is something he struggles with. I know he’s constantly questioning whether he’s enough for his little girl.
“Not without you, Clara. You’re the glue that is holding me together; the only way I’ve been able to survive since Emma was bor
n. I love the way that you love her, the way you look at my daughter. You are an incredible woman and mother, angel. I know she isn’t yours by blood, but that’s what you are to her – the closest thing she’ll ever get. I know I’m being bold here, but damn it, you’re her mama in every way that counts.” He says passionately, and my heart cracks wide open as my eyes well with tears.
“I do love her… so much. I know it isn’t my place, but if I’m not sure I could love her more than I already do. I’d do anything for her, Flynn.”
“Shhh.” He soothes, tangling his fingers in my long windswept hair and tilting my head so I’m forced to meet his gaze.
“It is exactly your place, and nothing is going to change that.” He leans in placing a soft kiss on my lips that fans the smoldering embers deep inside me, causing them to ignite and consume me with need for him.
He begins to pull away, but I reach out, pulling him back to me showing him how much I need him. The way he’s looking at me and holding me in this moment, I know he needs me too. Right here under the starlit, Georgia sky, I experience another first.
17
FLYNN:
I smile and press my hand to the pile of folded laundry on the sofa. Clara takes such care with everything she does, because she honestly enjoys housework and taking care of people. I tell her constantly that she doesn’t have to do it, but she waves me off every time claiming it’s the least she could do for me letting her stay here. Like I’d honestly have it any other way. Does it make me a terrible person, that my guys were able to finish the construction on her house a week ago, and I still haven’t told her that she could move back home? I put a rush on the work, and I knew before I had feelings towards her, that I was falling in love with her, but I never expected to need her the way I do. She makes everything in my life better. I know I have to tell her, but I don’t want her to leave. Part of me is afraid of what might happen to Emma if she does – it’s in the back of my mind. What if I have an episode, what if Emma needs her? They’ve become attached to one another. But mostly, it’s what if she never comes back? I need to figure out my next move because I want this woman now and forever. She’s worked her way into my bones, holding me up when I can’t stand by myself.
I check my watch, and realize it’s about time to go.
“You about ready, baby?” I call up the stairs at just about the same time she starts to come down carrying Emma.
“Hang on.” I say, causing her to pause with a questioning look as I take out my phone and she smiles a knowing smile.
I snap pictures of them all the time, just as Clara does for me, but I have to capture this. Both my girls are decked out in their Fourth of July, patriotic gear, and I’ll be damned if it’s not the most beautiful site.
Clara’s long, tanned legs are showcased with some short white cut offs, a navy tank and a sheer stars and stripes print scarf, and she’s got Emma in a red white and blue tutu and a sequined flag tank and headband on it with a bow bigger than her head.
“Smile!” I say and Clara smiles and tickles Emma causing her to smile a big, gummy smile and I snap the picture and quickly save it as my wallpaper. Two prettiest girls I’ve ever seen.
“We’re all set. I already packed Emma’s bag and the cooler.” I tell Clara, as she finishes her descent.
We secure Emma into her carrier and I pick up both her and the cooler and head out to the truck I have parked just outside the front door in the circle drive. I finish loading up and turn to see Clara coming out the front with one of my mama’s old quilts in her arms. Her long hair, shining in the setting sunlight. Every. Damn. Time. She takes my breath away with her beauty. I’m one lucky son of a bitch to have her.
I open the door for her and grab her by the hips, helping to lift her into my big as truck, and I swear to everything holy, I’m going to have the hardest time keeping it PG in front of the town tonight. It’s the Fourth of July and we’re going down to meet the Buxley’s and their boys at the carnival and fireworks. Clara and Maggie have become pretty close over the past few months, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the fact she has someone to talk to.
The whole drive to the park, I could feel her eyes on me, devouring me and turning me on more and more by the second.
“Baby, you’re going to have to stop looking at me like that.” I smile.
“Like?”
“Like you want to do terribly dirty things to me at the town picnic.” I chuckle.
“What if I do?” she asks, her voice low.
“Then I’ll just have to give my girl what she wants.”
We pull into the parking lot next to Lucas’s truck where he and Maggie are unloading.
“Hey guys, can you take Emma for a minute while Clara and I take care of something?” I ask hopping out of my truck.
“Sure!” Maggie responds.
“We’ll just be a minute.” I toss Lucas my keys and walk around to Clara’s door, helping her out. I lead her by the hand in the opposite direction towards the wooded paths. I keep walking until we are in a secluded grove of trees that is overgrown with Spanish moss, providing a perfect barrier to anyone that may wonder down the path.
“You’re going to have to be quiet, angel. Your voice will echo, and we don’t want someone coming to investigate.” I say, unbuttoning my shorts.
Heat flashes in her eyes as she rids herself of her shorts and tank top. I drag her to me, letting my hands roam her smooth skin. Her mouth finds mine and I kiss her with everything I have, and hold her closer. Her hands find the edge of my underwear, forcing them down and causing my hard cock to spring free. I pull her soaked lace panties off of her, tossing them aside and pressing myself against her belly.
“You ready, baby? It’ll be hard and fast.” I say against her parted lips.
“That’s what I want.” She whispers, moving her lips down my neck.
“I don’t have a condom. Are you good with that?”
“Yeah, the shot should protect me now.” She says, and I don’t waste any time as I lift her up and push into her tight channel. She moans my name as I begin to bounce her on my cock.
“Shhh, angel.” I silence her with my lips pressed against hers, swallowing her sounds of ecstasy. I can’t seem to get enough of her as I drive into her furiously. The only sounds left are those of slapping skin on skin, staccato pants, and the birds singing in the trees.
“Fuck, baby. I’m going to cum. You feel too good.” I watch her hooded eyes roll back in her head, spurring me on.
“I’m there, Flynn. Come on, baby. I want you to cum inside me.” she rasps out, her forehead falling to mine as I feel her clench and spasm around me. Her dirty words and release send me over the edge as I spill myself deep inside of her.
“Damn, baby.” I say, placing a kiss to her forehead then to the tip of her nose and pulling out, setting her gently on her feet.
I watch as she uses her panties to clean herself up and quickly redress, and I do the same. She tosses her undies into a trash can along the trail and we make our way back up the path to where all of the food trucks are.
“Dinner?” I ask as if I didn’t just fuck her senseless in the woods, and a peal of laughter tears free from her. I pull her close to me, loving every single moment with her.
I guide Clara back to our quilt on the hill with food, where we’ll watch the fireworks. We were stopped a million and five times by people wanting to chat. Since the tabloids picked up on where Clara or rather, Elizabeth is, all eyes have been on her. Anyone and everyone wants to get their chance to chat with a real life celebrity, but she’s nothing but gracious, oftentimes looking embarrassed by having to answer questions about her life. The upside to the situation is now everyone knows she’s Roxie Scott’s granddaughter now so the people of Stockbridge are now sharing fond memories of her grandmother, which she appears to soak up gratefully.
“What’d you do, buy them out of funnel cakes?” Lucas teases.
“Nah, man. It seems that Clara here is the most p
opular person in town. She’s got a lot of admirers.”
Maggie and Lucas laugh.
“Well, they’re just a bunch of Nosy Nellie’s.” Maggie shakes her head with a smile, passing a squirmy Emma to Clara’s outstretched arms.
I sit and pull Clara and Emma down into my lap and wrap my arms around them as we get ready for the fireworks to begin. This is all I ever wanted, right here in my arms. I know we’ve only been an item officially for a few weeks, but I’m already trying to figure out a way to convince her to move in with us permanently- that among other things like wearing my ring and taking my last name.
The first spark and pop of fireworks pull us from our comfortable silence as the twilight sky explodes with cascading colors of purple and gold.
CLARA:
Emma is doing amazingly well, and is staring at the sky with wide eyes barely blinking as she takes in the pretty colors. I half expected her to cry, but so far, so good. As the percussion of the fireworks increases, I feel Flynn’s grip tighten around my waist. I didn’t even think about how the sounds of explosions might affect him.
I squeeze his forearm lightly and tilt my head back to whisper into his ear. “Do we need to go?”
His jaw clenches and I sense the internal struggle, but he just nods. “Yeah, I think so.” I know he doesn’t want to ruin the fun, but I also know he would hate even more to show the entire town one of his weaknesses.
We stand, and I place Emma in her baby wrap so she can look around as we begin to gather our things. Lucas and Maggie give us questioning looks, but I just explain it away that we’ve had a long day and need to get Emma to bed.
Flynn grabs my hand with one of his and the cooler with the other. He starts to lead me through the crowd just as a group of kids set off some firecrackers and a sequence of fireworks sound overhead with one of those large boomers – the kind that shake the earth beneath your feet and you can feel in your chest. Emma starts to cry, and I’m trying to soothe her, but the sound from the show is almost deafening. There’s a small lull in action and it is only then that I hear Flynn calling out military orders. I feel his hand slip from mine and I know I’ve lost him again as I turn to find that now familiar distance in his eyes. Another boom sounds, echoing in the heavy July air as the grand finale of the show begins, and the night sky is illuminated with fiery explosions of color.