by Sarah Cole
“Dr. Reznik.” I call after him, and he turns back. “Flynn Alexander. Can I see him… please?” I know my voice sounds as desperate as I’m feeling.
“I’ll see what we can do. I’ll have to consult with his doctor, but I don’t want you out of bed yet. I’ll send a nurse in when we get it ironed out.” he says, tapping the doorframe with his long fingers.
23
FLYNN:
All I feel is pain. It consumes me like a cold fire, freezing the last fragments of life inside of me, forcing them to wither and die. I feel both hollow and heavy as I hear concerned voices around me. Some I find familiar and comforting, but mostly I don’t recognize them. All I know is the one voice I’m waiting for never comes.
I hear the beeping of the monitors first, then the gentle whoosh of the machines as my eyes find the textured ceiling tiles above me. My first waking thoughts are not of the discomfort I’m sure my body feels, but of Clara and my daughter. I need to know that they are alive. A barrage of bloody memories assault me as I remember Clara’s bloodied, lifeless body splayed on the sidewalk.
“CLARA!!!” I wail around the tubes that are helping me to breathe, and I begin to choke and gag, struggling against them.
“CLARA!” I cry again, feeling the hot tears ooze from my stinging eyes. I struggle against the starched and faded sheets and pain laces my body as several sets of hands work to still me. A nurse peers down into my face, steadying me with her gaze, as I continue to gag and choke.
“Mr. Alexander, I need for you to relax as best you can and breathe. We can only get these tubes out if you’re calm.” She says firmly.
I try and calm my body, but my mind is barreling full steam ahead as I think about my girl and my daughter. The feeling of the intubation being pulled from my throat is both foreign and painful, but I deal with it. As soon as it’s free, I try and speak again, “Clara… please. Is she alive? Please, God…” I begin to pray for the first time in nearly a decade. I’m desperate, turning to a God that I didn’t believe existed after spending so long in hell. If there is a God, he must hear me.
“Mr. Alexander, I’m Dr. Nichols.” A guy only a few years older than me leans over my bed.
“Clara… Emma.” I rasp, my throat on fire, and he nods his understanding.
“I’ve been made aware of your relationship, and the circumstances surrounding your injuries. I was just informed a few minutes ago, that she just awoke as well, and is asking for you. Your daughter is being looked after by your Aunt and Uncle, I believe.” My tense body relaxes slightly with the news Clara is awake.
“Now that you’re awake, we can run some tests and figure out what we’re dealing with. After that, we can work on getting you guys in a double room together. It will fix the problem of playing telephone and having your loved ones visit two rooms. How does that sound? Hmm?”
“Good.” I rasp through my raw throat.
***
I’m wheeled into an empty room. Mitch and Irene have had Emma for the past couple days, and the doctor notified them that I’m awake so they could bring her back. The nurses are still reattaching all of the monitors and equipment when I see them rolling in Clara’s bed. They place her bed beside mine, closer than what I think is normal, but I think it’s more of a favor to us than anything. Our eyes lock on one another and I can’t help the tears that fall, and I see that she can’t either. The whole left side of her face is swollen and black and blue and her head is heavily bandaged and I see the bandages that peek out above the gown that is pulled low on her chest. I see her eyes studying me in the same manner.
“I’m sorry, angel. I’m so, so sorry. I thought you were dead.” I force out. It hurts to talk, but I’d do it all day to say everything I need to.
“Same here. I’m so sorry, Flynn. I love you so much. I don’t know what I would’ve done… Why did you do that? Look at yourself.” She says.
“I always said I’d take a bullet for you, Clara, and I meant it. Every word. I’d do it every day if it meant that you were safe. Do you understand that?” I ask, because I want her to understand. I want her to feel the love I have for her.
“But you said-” she starts, and it rips me apart the hurt I see in her eyes.
“Damn it, baby. Forget what I said. I didn’t mean it – any of it. I was angry and wrong, and I didn’t mean a word of it. Do you know why I said it?”
“Because of my testimony?” she guesses.
“No angel, because you forced me to face reality and swallow my pride. I’m a man- a prideful man, and I am embarrassed to need help. It makes me feel weak and helpless, and being called out like that, in front of everyone made it real. I’ve been feeding myself lies for too long, telling myself I’m ok and just need time. I hated the fact that in that moment everyone knew I couldn’t control myself, and I put my hands on you… not in love, but because I was stubborn and wouldn’t get help because I couldn’t admit to myself that I’m weak and for once I have a problem that I can’t control.”
“You’re not weak, Flynn. You’re the strongest person I know. You just need someone to help you work through everything that’s going on in your head. There’s no shame in that.”
“But I didn’t lie about one thing… I don’t love you, Clara. It’s so much more than that…so much more that love isn’t an accurate word… It just isn’t enough.”
Her breath hitches and her eyes dart to mine, some unreadable emotion dancing there. Is it adoration, guilt, sadness, lust…maybe a combination of all of those?
“I love you, Clara. More than anything in this world, besides Emma, of course. I just need you to understand how much I love you. When I saw Darren shoot you, I thought I lost you, and I lost everything in those few minutes. I’d rather die a thousand painful deaths, than live for a single minute in a world where you don’t exist. You’re it for me, baby. Please tell me you’ll forgive me.”
“Flynn…” She cries, “There’s nothing to forgive. I was never mad; just heartbroken, but I understood why you were mad. I love you too. I thought you died, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to move forward without you.”
“I really need to fucking kiss you right now.” I grind out, through the pain, and she laughs through her tears. Though battered, bandaged, and bruised, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“But seriously. As soon as I can stand on my own two feet, I’m going to kiss you until you can’t remember your own name. Then I’m going to get down on one knee, and beg you to be my wife because I can’t wait another fucking minute.”
“Flynn, stop!” she laughs, tears still streaming down her face as she clutches at her chest in pain.
“You think I’m kidding, angel… but just you wait.” She still doesn’t know how serious I am.
CLARA:
I’m lying on my right side, like the doctor instructed I do to keep the blood from pooling, and watching Flynn sleep. I could look at him all day. He’s so handsome with his chiseled, angular features, blonde, buzzed hair, and tanned skin. He’s essentially my very own male model, and I can’t get enough. Irene and Mitch brought Emma to visit us, and I think it was good for both of us to see her, but it with the medication and pain, it wore us out quickly. She was fussy, but once she saw us, she was all smiles. My brother and sister had to go back to LA for different obligations, but my father has refused to leave my side. I finally forced him to go his hotel and shower because he was looking a little deranged and ragged.
There’s a light knock on the door, and I hear footsteps on the vinyl tiled floor. Maggie and Lucas come into view carrying a big bouquet of balloons and flowers.
“Hey.” Maggie whispers and Lucas smiles giving a small wave, as she sets the vase down on the slim table between our beds, and Flynn’s eyes crack open.
“Thank you.” I say and her eyes flicker nervously to the door, and I hear a pair of heels on the floor.
“We found someone who was looking for you guys.” She whispers again
. Ms. Copeland, the social worker, appears at the foot of our bed, and Maggie and Lucas excuse themselves. I glance over to Flynn who still appears to be groggy, but his face is tense.
“I’m sorry to come like this. I know this is an extremely difficult and painful time for both of you, and I sincerely apologize.” She says. “I figured it’d be best to come now so you could make arrangements, but given the recent events, your case has been reviewed. The state and the judge have overturned the original verdict. We understand that both of you will need medical attention and a support system in place for the next several weeks. Given the status of your relationship, we understand if it is easier for you to cohabitate, meaning Emma can be placed back in her home with both of you with the caveat of three social visits per week by me or another participating case worker, until your case is closed. It will be closed, once Mr. Alexander receives an acceptable psychiatric evaluation on his given condition. Please note that if at any time we find concern in the living situation or safety of the child, she will be removed and placed in a temporary residence until further reviews can be made.”
“So, you’re saying that Emma can come home?” Flynn rasps out.
“Emma can come home.” Ms. Copeland affirms, cracking a small smile.
“Thank you.” I say, looking at Flynn who meets my eyes with a smile of his own.
“I’ll leave you two to rest. Take care of yourselves, and we’ll talk soon.” She says, striding from the room.
“Holy shit!” Flynn exclaims from his bed.
“Holy shit.” I confirm.
Ms. Copeland’s visit was the first of many. Later in the day the police showed up for questioning, and apparently several people saw the entire thing unfold, and corroborated Flynn’s story. With everything else we’d already given the police, Flynn was pretty much exonerated, but will still need to testify at Darren’s trial whenever that should happen. It’s still difficult to wrap my mind around everything that happened that day, but I can say without a doubt we were all extremely lucky to walk away with our lives intact. It could have ended so much differently, and for a painful moment, we all thought it had. That’s a feeling I will never be able shake for as long as I live, and I only hope that I never have to feel that again.
***
I’m getting released today, and as much as I don’t want to leave Flynn, he’s shoving me out the door so I can go be with Emma. My father will be staying with me until Flynn will be released a few days from now. I tried to argue and say that Irene or Maggie could do it, but he fought me on it. He’s hovering, and I wish I could say it was sweet, but it’s such a departure from the norm, that I’m considering having him talk to a therapist too. He went to Flynn’s house to make sure everything was brought over from my house that Emma or I might need.
I’m still weak, and tired, but the pain has lessened slightly, and they are starting to lower my dosage of pain killers. I lean against the window frame of Flynn’s room for support.
“C’mere.” He says, startling me.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“Nope.” He pops the p. “Just thinking about how pretty you are.”
“Oh hush.” I smile, walking over to the side of his bedside. They finally let him sit up on more of an incline, and they got him walking a little bit yesterday. His body took a lot with the five bullets that Darren managed to put in him, but just like I always knew, my man’s a fighter.
He pats the bed beside him and I shake my head, “No, I’ll hurt you.”
“Angel, the only thing that’s hurting me right now is the fact that your lips aren’t on mine. Now get in this bed. I’ve spent too many days now without you next to me.” he growls the last part, and I think it over for a second before I slide off my flip flops and gingerly slide into the bed next to him, wincing from the pain. I place all of my weight on my right side. I rest my head on his shoulder where I know I won’t hurt him. It’s insane that even though he’s been in this bed for nearly a week, he still smells good, like my Flynn, and I inhale him deeply.
“Are you sniffing me?’ he asks rubbing my bare arm that is now lightly draped across his hips.
“Maybe. I just missed you.” I say, and I feel his erection beneath my arm on the blanket.
“Does my sniffing you, turn you on?” I laugh.
“I’m pretty sure that everything you do turns me on.” he retorts, leaning in to kiss my forehead, and I close my eyes relishing the feeling.
“Well, at least we know he still works.” I joke, as I tilt my face up to his. It sends a splitting pain through my head, but it’s so worth it to see the way he’s looking at me.
“Thank god!” he jokes back before sealing his lips over mine. We quickly lose ourselves in each other, becoming a mess of parted lips and heavy sighs as we breathe each other in, like we’re starving for oxygen and we’re each other’s last breaths. He lifts his hips to meet my palm, and I can’t stop.
He winces in pain as he shifts to face me, his breathing heavy from a mixture of exertion and excitement. Flynn’s free hand cups my face as he kisses me, letting it drift down to my breasts as our kiss deepens, and I continue rubbing him through the blanket. I fumble around, finally finding the edge of the sheet and my hand drifts over the bandage on his lower abdomen before it finds his hard, velvety length. I take him in my hand, stroking him firmly.
“Oh, Jesus.” He groans, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth, causing my breath to catch.
He doesn’t stop as he licks and kisses his way down my neck, careful to avoid the bandages secured at the base of my collarbone. Flynn’s deft hands move lower and lower as I continue to pump him with my hand and he quickly finds the elastic of my shorts. His fingers slide under the elastic and slide further down to my wet, hot center finding the sensitive bud that’s aching with need for him.
I let out a sound that makes me blush, and Flynn smiles against my lips as he continues his rhythm, alternating between circling my clit and dipping two fingers inside of me. It doesn’t take long before I feel the hot tingling sensation of release tear through me, and Flynn follows seconds after. We smile against each other’s lips and kiss each other once again, unable to get enough. I reach for a tissue, cleaning my hand as best I can with the flimsy, nearly transparent material.
I’m adjusting my shorts when two older nurses burst through the door wild eyed and out of breath.
“Are you…?” One of the nurses asks, eyes darting between us, before narrowing in suspicion.
“I think they’re alright, Sheryll.” The other nurse says, trying to hide her laughter.
“Your heart rate monitor starting going crazy. We thought you were having a heart attack or something.” Sheryll says, trying to catch her breath.
“Definitely not a heart attack. Don’t worry, kids. It happens around here more than you’d think.” The other nurse, who’s name tag reads, Linda, winks.
“Ohmygosh!” I screech, as I struggle to sit up. I feel my face heat in embarrassment at getting caught.
“Well, we might as well check things over while we’re in here, unless you’re hiding something you’d rather not let us see under there?” Sheryll asks with a no nonsense tone as she lifts her eyebrows in challenge.
“No ma’am, I’m good now. Got my fix.” Flynn drawls. I try to hide my embarrassed smile, as I squeeze his hand and gently scoot my way to my feet. I’m extremely sore after that, but I can’t say that I regret a single second.
“My goodness! You ripped your stitches open, boy!” Linda says, and I gasp as I see the bleeding wound on his chest that will need more stitches.
“It was totally worth it!” he says, waggling his eyebrows and me, and I blush furiously once again, as I roll my eyes.
“Knock! Knock!” I hear my father say as he wraps his knuckles on the wooden door.
I smile at him. Our relationship is still awkward, but I think it will get there with time. I can say he’s genuinely trying, but the relationship has been strained for so
long that it’s going to take time to get to know one another again.
“You about ready to go, sweetie?” he asks, picking up my bag from the chair.
I look to Flynn and he nods, “Go. Give our baby some lovin’s.” I nod, but I don’t miss the fact that he just referred to Emma as ours instead of his.
I scoot around the nurses lean down slowly to give him a kiss. He grabs the back of my head with his free arm, holding me there and looking me in the eyes.
“I love you, angel.”
“I love you too. See you tomorrow, ok?”
“Ok, babe. Get some rest.”
The nurse arrives with a wheel chair and I finally get to head home. Not my grandmother’s house, but home, because home is wherever Flynn and Emma are.
24
FLYNN:
Five days. I had to wait five days after Clara was released before the doctor would finally sign the consent forms for my release, as well. I pestered him every day until he finally conceded. I’m still in a world of pain, but I don’t think I’ll last one more minute without being home with my girls. Luckily these five days have provided me enough time to devise a plan and put it in action. Clara’s father had to go home to his production company for some important meetings, but his parting gift to her was the news that he was finally pulling the plug on Sincerely Scott. He claimed that he couldn’t continue to devote time and resources to a show that nearly destroyed the Scott family. Logan is busy, running a handful of small businesses he started, so he’s almost too busy to make a real effort at it anyways. According to Clara, the only person who’s not going to take the news well is her younger sister, Meredith, but she’s confident that her father will find her something better to occupy her time with.