Jackie grinned, “Touché.” I’m right around the corner, be there in 5
Casey needed to get these two in a room to sort this whole thing out. Jill was miserable and she knew why since all Jill would talk about and bitch about these days was Jackie.
When Jackie got to Jill’s condo, Molly was sound asleep with her head laying on the rawhide bone she was apparently chewing beforehand. As she followed Casey back into the living room, she looked around at all the fixtures and wall-hangings and noticed a couple of them were from her sister’s shop. It felt weird to be standing in Jill’s apartment with Casey whose face still bore a look of hurt. So much had transpired, a fun new relationship, friends and a promise of new beginnings all came to a screeching halt when Suzanne Brooks came back to New York.
“Um…what time will Jill be back?”
“Not for hours, like I said…I should be back before then anyway. I appreciate you doing this, oh and you shouldn’t have to take Molly out; I just brought her back in and she is pretty worn out.”
“Oh…okay. I hope everything is okay,” Jackie said in a light tone hoping to sound sincere.
Casey smirked, “Yeah…anyway. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She wanted to say ‘get that pitied look off your fucking face. You didn’t break me.’ But she needed to keep this as neutral as possible and it was also good Jackie felt some guilt, it helped with getting her into the apartment. Casey hoped those two women would stop being idiots and realize their feelings for each other…she wasn’t sure what feelings Jackie had for Jill…but knew it was something. Without saying another word she spun on her heel and walked out of the apartment.
Jackie began to pace the carpeted area unsure what to do since the dog was asleep and she was alone. She didn’t text Suzanne since it was made clear she would be in meetings all day and could not be interrupted which was understandable. Jackie hated those corporate meetings, but there were breaks, even a two-hour lunch break…so again she wondered why Suzanne couldn’t have joined her to see the apartments. Something didn’t add up, and Jackie knew it didn’t but chose to ignore it anyway. Maybe because she was too afraid of the truth and didn’t want to face the fact that she’d made a colossal mistake. Shaking the thoughts from her head, Jackie continued to peruse the posh Manhattan apartment and wished for a brief moment she could afford something with such amazing views.
Jackie continued to wander around the room to admire the artwork. She always liked the way Jill had decorated her place. They both had similar tastes in art and Feng Shui and she could picture herself living there. She didn’t know what a place like this went for but could imagine it was pretty pricey being in Manhattan with such incredible views of the park.
Bored and curious, she decided to take herself on a tour of the rest of the apartment. She hadn’t seen any of the bathrooms or bedrooms and now seemed like as good a time as any. Two smaller bedrooms were connected by way of a full bath, nicely decorated; one as a guest suite and the other made into a makeshift gym with top of the line equipment. She thought it was odd considering the building had a state-of-the-art gym but figured some people preferred to work out alone and whenever they wanted…not have to adhere to a schedule or deal with other people in the gym.
She walked into the master bedroom. It was spectacular. Floor to ceiling windows with unprecedented views of the park, giant bed with too many pillows. She giggled thinking how long it would take to arrange them so perfectly each day, then rolled her eyes remembering whose bedroom it was and she thought the snobby homeowner more than likely had a cleaning service. The closet door was left open a crack, so she decided to pull it open and it did not disappoint either. The light automatically came on into the biggest walk-in closet she had ever seen. And of course it was also pristine, clothes hung by type…pants with pants, shirts with shirts and everything was facing the same direction. Shoes, boots and sandals were neatly placed on shelves by style and color.
She raised an eyebrow as she spied a box which seemed a bit out of place for this wardrobe masterpiece and she wondered if it contained all of Jillian Abbott’s nasty little secrets, toys and such. She thought about opening it but cringed at the mere thought of what she might find inside.
Closing the closet door behind her, she continued on her nosey quest and walked into the ensuite to end all others. Stall shower encased in glass walls and big enough to accommodate four or so people. “Boy, she could really give Caligula a run for its money.”
An enormous soaking tub…oh yes, jets included. Jackie eyed the tub covetously and wished she could climb in for a soak. Between the heat, lack of sleep and a bit too much vodka last night…a jet-propelled hot bath would certainly do the trick. Taking one last look around and smirking at the bidet…that would certainly come in handy for a quick freshen before a licking, she thought.
“Okay enough nosing around.” She walked out of the bathroom and as she passed the bed, she felt a small glimmer of mischief course through her veins and decided it was a good idea to lie on the bed for just a minute or two. Maybe muss the pillows a tad, wrinkle the duvet…and smiled how it might drive Jill a little crazy wondering ‘who’s been sleeping in my bed.’
Not wanting to get dirt or grease on the fancy bed cover, she pulled off her motorcycle boots and threw herself onto the mattress like a child landing directly in the middle and totally disrupting the order of the pillows. Jackie giggled loudly when the wall of different size pillows came crashing down all over her. One hit her square in the face and the scent of it gave her pause and she felt a warm sensation overtake her. She pressed it to her face and took in its scent deep into her senses. “Wow, smells amazing. This bed is excellent.” She nestled in, turning on her side, hugging the pillow close to her. She closed her eyes just wanting to revel in comfort for a moment and wasn’t fazed at all when the dog jumped onto the bed since she had fallen asleep.
Not long after Jackie had fallen asleep, Jill unlocked her front door and stepped through its threshold. She looked around puzzled at the fact Molly hadn’t come to greet her since she’s been at work all day. “Hello? Case, Molly…,” she called out from the foyer as she stepped forward to make her way into the living room where she was sure they were both hanging out watching TV. When she walked into the room and didn’t find them in there, she just figured Casey had Molly out for another walk.
“Whew, I am beat,” she spoke loudly as if she was speaking to someone else in the room. “And I smell.” Which wasn’t surprising given what she currently did for a living; she needed a shower.
A shower and a glass of wine were on her to do list. She was looking forward to spending the evening with her favorite girl curled up on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn and an action flick. “Now with my dance card being empty, I can get caught up on all the good movies out there,” she sighed loudly as she crossed the floor on her way into the master bedroom heading straight for the ensuite when a figure in the bed stopped Jill in her tracks.
“What the hell?” she said glancing at the woman in her bed, nestled in and snuggled up to her favorite pillows. She was taken aback, not that she cared if Casey needed a nap…but it didn’t seem like her to be so forward. Then Jill’s eyes rested upon her beloved dog sleeping comfortably in her usual spot. She would have liked to let the sleeping beauties sleep, but she needed a shower and didn’t want to parade around naked with Casey in the room, but as she came closer to the bed and recognized who was actually lying there her knees nearly gave out.
“Oh my God,” she whispered as she approached the side of the bed. “Could this be a dream?” Then a wide smile formed while regarding the woman perched above her duvet. Jackie looked like an angel lying amongst the pillows…she looked beautiful. What she wouldn’t give to have this woman in her bed permanently, to be able to lean down and wake her with a kiss and say ‘hey Baby, I’m home.’ Even though the woman infuriated her, Jill was completely enamored with this young, blue-eyed blonde and all those feelings she has been trying to i
gnore and wished away, came rushing back. Jill longed to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her…the ache and the incessant yearning was just too much to bear at the moment and she knew she should just clear her throat, tap her on the shoulder or just turn and walk away…but she just couldn’t bring herself to choose any of those options.
Without even thinking about it, to give the option to tell herself ‘no,’ she leaned down and kissed the woman in her bed softly on the cheek. The fragrance of her hair mixed with perfume began wafting up, filling her senses and twisted her stomach up in knots. There was no stamping this fire down now…and without a thought Jill slid herself onto the bed slowly, inching herself closer to the sleeping blonde until she rolled onto her back causing Jill to freeze in fear that Jackie would open her eyes and wonder what the hell she was doing hovering over her like that. But it seemed like Jackie was dead to the world and the sudden movement and near discovery did not sway Jill to change course, she was determined to kiss this woman, it was her heart’s desire…rationality be damned.
Just one kiss…just one, Jill thought as her mouth began to water looking down at the blonde’s lips. When her lips touched Jackie’s she felt her resolve melt away, all inhibitions, all her fear…gone. She could have just stolen a quick kiss and got out of there, but she let it linger. The lips were soft and sweet and she ached to deepen the kiss, to push her tongue past the blonde’s lips and feel the touch of Jackie’s tongue on her own. And when she felt the kiss being returned all bets were off; she lowered herself bit by bit onto Jackie’s form.
Not wanting to break the spell, Jill kept her eyes closed terrified if she opened them she would awaken from a dream or worse see a horrified look on Jackie’s face. But she couldn’t resist, she had to look at that face…she had to know. Sure the kiss was mutual, but the eyes would tell the story. When she opened her eyes and saw those piercing blue ones staring back at her, every ounce of breath left her body. Did she see it correctly? What was in her eyes…was that desire? Oh my God, was that really desire staring back at her. A few minutes beforehand she would have bet money Jackie intently disliked her…now all the stupid misunderstandings and poorly chosen words in the past had all melted away.
Those eyes, she could drown in those eyes. Even though she wanted to say something it seemed that the moment warranted silence, she didn’t want to ruin the magic between them however fleeting it may be. She lowered her head again to engage in another kiss when Jackie pushed Jill over onto her back. Dear God, please don’t let this be a dream, Jill’s mind pleaded while the girl of her dreams began to climb all over her. Hands caressing, body’s writhing, knees pressing hard between each other’s legs and kissing that was so hot, so passionate Jill could have gone over the edge into an orgasmic frenzy.
Jackie’s tongue was soft, her lips full and sensual in the way they slid across her own. She never wanted it to stop, not until their lips went numb and maybe not even then. If she wasn’t sure before Jackie was the one, she was definitely sure now…she just hoped Jackie was feeling the same way.
When Jackie pulled her lips away from Jill’s, she trailed soft kisses along her jawline, down her neck then bit down into the flesh of her shoulder causing a gasp from the woman beneath her. She couldn’t believe when she felt the kiss and opened her eyes to see Jillian Abbott hovering over her, kissing her. It almost felt like a dream the way her gut clenched and her heart fluttered like it did when she had the strange dream about Jill weeks ago. But this wasn’t a dream, for one Jill wasn’t her normal perfectly put together self. Her hair haphazardly pulled into a ponytail, no makeup and she smelled like sweat, dogs and had a hint of BO. But when Jackie opened her eyes and saw that face she thought it was the most beautiful face she’d ever seen.
Now with her hips wedged between Jill’s legs gently grinding as hands tangled themselves into her chestnut locks wanting this…wanting Jill and feeling the connection, suddenly something started knocking at her brain. And that something was the image of Suzanne.
What the hell are you doing? Jackie thought when Jill’s lips captured hers again in a heated frenzy. It was close to the point of no return, but she couldn’t do this. Have sex with this woman when she’s in love with another. She had to stop this, to get out of there before it was too late and she ruined everything good in her life.
“Wait…Jill. Wait a minute,” Jackie said when she broke the kiss and looked down at the brunette beneath her. “What are we doing?”
“I thought we were doing this,” Jill pulled her down claiming her lips again, pushing her tongue through…demanding entry, wanting to savor, devour…she wanted everything of Jackie Evans.
“No, I can’t,” Jackie pulled out of the kiss as she climbed off Jill and the bed ignoring the protests.
“Jackie, please don’t go.” Jill’s voice filled with desperation.
“I can’t do this Jill. This is wrong. I have a girlfriend,” Jackie turned and walked out of the room feeling ashamed, but most of all she was confused.
Jill was quickly on her heels. “This isn’t wrong. I know you feel it, tell me you don’t.” Jill grabbed Jackie by the forearm and turned her around.
“I’ll admit there’s an attraction here…but I’m not available,” Jackie tried to walk away, but Jill grabbed both of her arms.
“Suzanne, the woman that busted your heart? I’ve got news for you…she doesn’t love you. You are just a possession she lost and now has reclaimed it. But you’re too blind to see it, you so desperately want to believe her that you are lying to yourself.”
“How the fuck would you know anything about Suzanne or me for that matter. You’ve spent too much time letting that floozy maul you…”
“We didn’t have sex,” Jill yelled out.
“Whatever it was, doesn’t matter anyway. I love Suzanne.”
“Keep trying to convince yourself of that and the best thing that could happen in your life won’t be here when you finally wake the fuck up and realize she’s playing you for a fool.” Jill couldn’t believe that a beautiful moment between the two of them was ruined again…what was this chick afraid of?
“She’s not and maybe since you’re not in a relationship and since you failed at the biggest relationship of your life…maybe you should get some counseling and learn what it takes to be in one instead of trying to force yourself onto someone you can’t have out of desperation.”
Tears instantly formed in Jill’s eyes as her wielding palm caught Jackie square across the mouth causing her to stumble a bit before regaining her balance. Jill didn’t even realize she’d cracked Jackie in the mouth, but dammit, she deserved it.
Jackie stood there stunned, cupping her hand to the now throbbing part of her face.
“Well now…since you’ve had your epiphany you can go.” Jill didn’t see the shocked look on Casey’s face when Jackie spun on her heel and headed for the door and shutting it quietly behind her.
Jackie stood by the elevators trying her best not to let the tears fall. But Jill was not as lucky and her resolve crumbled as she collapsed in Casey’s arms sobbing.
Chapter 21
Women are just too much trouble. The words echoed in her head, the words which gave the man lying next to her in bed the ammunition he needed to seduce her and feeling lonely, hurt, and unable to have the one she wanted…she allowed him to do it. But now lying quietly on her side as close to the edge of the bed as she could get in hopes he would not latch on, except he did and she was half sickened by the memory of the night of drunken sex. It seemed like a good idea at the time when he came over to prep her for court, but that was when she was thinking through a booze-laden brain. Fuck her, she thought. At least somebody wants me.
But now as the sun was coming up on this September morning, she was disgusted with herself. Jeff came over with a bottle of rare vintage scotch his old man gave him when he was made a named partner. She thought it was stupid that they changed the name to Collins, Collins and Collins Family Law…but who was she to sa
y what was right and what wasn’t. And frankly she was sick of what was wrong and what was right and since Jackie made it pretty clear to her last week there would never be anything between them, she let her defenses crumble. Jeff wanted her and she knew it…he made it abundantly clear on several occasions and thinking back to last night she was sure he played that angle. Wanting to feel the warmth of someone, the desire in their touch, their kiss and he certainly answered the call. And this was something she knew, knew what to expect…certainly no mysteries with straight sex, it might have been a while since she’d been with a man, but it was all the same…they were all the same.
She closed her eyes in horror when she thought of the ramifications of her actions if anyone found out, namely Jackie Evans. Not that she should care if Jackie knew or not…maybe she should throw it in her face. Maybe the twit would be jealous…envious or maybe she would feel justified in all those hateful remarks spoken. It wouldn’t matter anyway. Jackie apparently wanted Suzanne and there was nothing she could do or say to change the woman’s mind.
A sense of mourning began to overtake her when she realized that the fantasy in her head, the one she’s been living silently for months was just not going to happen. These stupid fantasies have never come true, chasing a fantasy is like chasing the wind and they have always let her down. How stupid is that, to be bummed out because a fantasy didn’t pan out. I’m losing it, Jill said to herself as an errant tear escaped from her eye onto the pillow.
She slipped out from under Jeff’s arm and the covers. It was just after 6:00 a.m. when the sun was beginning to show itself as a glow on the horizon. Grabbing her phone from the night table, she walked out of the bedroom naked to the living room in search of the clothes that were pulled from her and strewn about. Holding her hands to her head trying desperately to will the memory of the night from her head. She felt like a disgusting whore and the extreme remorse for her actions crashed down on her like lead making her want to desperately turn back time.
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