“What are you smiling at?”
“You.” Jill walked to Jackie’s bedside, bent down and kissed her lips. “Thank you for giving us this beautiful family…I’m so proud of you and I love you so very much.”
During the pregnancy Jackie decided to leave the law firm and focus on teaching law full-time. She was having trouble keeping up with her client load by itself without throwing in her duties as a Professor. It was just too many hours a day and as her pregnancy advanced her desire to practice law diminished. She had had enough of the pressure of client demands, long hours and stress of court. So into her third trimester, Jackie tendered her resignation with Collins Family Law. It wasn’t a difficult decision for her; although she loved the law, she didn’t care for the actual practice of it…but in teaching it, she found it to be something she not only enjoyed but was good at. Jackie also knew the decision would benefit her family because she would be able to spend more time with them which mattered more to her than anything else did.
But when the babies were born, she didn’t account for the life change it brought along. It is written somewhere that some of the most stressful life events include becoming a first-time parent, starting a new job and buying a new home and when they all happen within months of each other, the stress could be catastrophic. With twins it isn’t easy to be without a baby, and Jackie learned early on how jealous a dog can become with a new member of the family, in this case, two new members. So when the twins were only three months old Jill showed up one night after a late night shift with a border collie, mutt mix named Daisy. Fortunately, the dogs became fast friends and both held jealousy for the babies which Jackie thought was funny, seemed every warm blooded creature in her household was vying for her attention.
Once the twins began to crawl, Jill had been on a mission to sell their beautiful condo because she believed it wasn’t conducive to raising a child, let alone twins, along with two dogs and two adults. The family outgrew the posh condo with the fabulous views of Central Park. It was time for a home and Jill wanted to move out of the city, back to the ‘burbs mostly for a yard and better schools. But Jackie had reminded her that, in fact, she was raised in the city, went to a private school and turned out pretty well. She did not want to leave the city she loved so much for a boring life in the suburbs with nothing to do but watch TV. In the city, there was so much to do and see, and she wanted her children to have exposure to art, architecture and life. To be cultured…not be holed up in their rooms playing video games. Not to mention the commute to the city for their jobs and the time spent away from their children.
Jackie didn’t win too many arguments, but this was one she did. And when the twins were not even nine-months-old they moved into a three-story walk-up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. It was a four bedroom, three-and-a-half bathroom, end of the row with giant windows with incredible views of the New York skyline. However, its selling point was, at least to Jackie, the roof-top deck, but since it was an end, the yard was much bigger and there was a garage, and Jackie was sure those two factors were the only reason Jill conceded.
They weren’t even in their new home a month when the next stressful life event came knocking on Jackie’s door when budget cuts were made and her teaching position fell victim.
“Babe, you’ll find something,” Jill whispered as she rocked a very sleepy Juliette sucking her bottle of juice.
“It’s been over two months, Jill. I’m going crazy, I need my life back,” Jackie winced seeing the hurt look in Jill’s face.
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s been wonderful to be with the twins. But it’s all I do, day in and day out. Feed them, diaper them, comfort their cries, play with them…I feel like I’m in my own Groundhog Day hell. I need to get back to work. I wasn’t cut out to be a full-time mom.”
“So what are you saying?” Jill asked as her focus was now directed to the little brunette in her arms.
“Jill, don’t be like that. You know I love you and I love these kids more than anything.”
“Casey and Joni help out.”
“I know, but I need to get back to work. Please tell me you understand.”
“I do, it was just nice having you home. I didn’t have to worry about the twins.”
“And you still won’t. I promise,” Jackie said as she bounced her ten-month-old boy on her knee. “So tell me again Mrs. Evans why am I always on Jase duty? You know it takes forever to wear this boy out.”
“Well my dear, you are so good at nap time playtime.” Jill giggled as she stood with her sleeping daughter and disappeared down the hall to put the baby down in her crib.
When she reappeared she was met with a questioning gaze and laughed out loud when she saw Jase throw one of his blocks and how it bounced off his mother’s head.
Jackie rubbed the red spot which appeared on her head after a plastic projectile pinged off it, “Not funny Jill. And what is nap time playtime? Seems like an oxymoron to me.” Jackie pushed herself from the floor and walked past her wife and the lustful glint in her eyes. “Get real Babe. Keep an eye on your son while I use the bathroom.”
Jill laughed again and crawled onto the floor, “Well Mr. Jase, why don’t I read you a story.” She knew it would be a miracle if he stayed put long enough for her to read even one page. So the thought of Jackie naked for some afternoon delight was definitely wishful thinking.
Jackie could hear the sweet sounds of her son laughing and guessed his mother was probably tickling him which would not help to foster sleep for that boy. But she also knew that they couldn’t force him to sleep. They had tried to put him in his crib, thinking he would eventually fall asleep, but had found him every time with his diaper off using the contents within it for finger painting the wall. So it had become a quest to ‘wear out’ the boy…but that blue-eyed little devil seemed immune. Now they just enjoyed the playtime which usually included two dogs.
Jackie stared at her reflection and smiled at the idea which had been circling her brain since the day she was let go from the university. She hadn’t said anything to Jill because she really wanted to think it through…weigh all the options, risk factors and points of failure. She needed to vet the idea completely before taking it to her wife. Jackie was tired of the continued let downs with her job hunt and she didn’t want to relent and go back to practicing law with the high demands that came with the job. The colleges and universities around her were all cutting staff, and she wasn’t interested in anything outside the city that would come with longer commutes. Now after the never ending job hunt has her jaded; she had to make a clean, fresh start on her own. So the idea of opening her own law firm, creating her own hours and choosing her own clients sounded better and better as the days went on.
This was a venture she would have never dared to embark on before she met Jill. Taking a risk beyond what she could control was just not in her nature, and it was a big risk, one that came with some serious upfront money. It was money they had, but Jackie wasn’t sure she wanted to sink everything they had plus their home as collateral for something that could potentially fail in a big way. But then she thought about that little pail Jill gave her and how it had given her the courage to take every big step in her life…and there were a few huge ones. It wasn’t that it was the little silver bauble which gave her the courage, it was what it stood for…Jill’s faith in her. Jackie’s smile grew wider, “I’m doing this…nothing ventured – nothing gained, right?” Then suddenly she heard the commotion of dogs barking, Juliette crying and her son’s voice bellowing…she knew that Jill had lost control and figured she better get out there to assist.
A few days later, Casey and Joni came to babysit while Jill was working. Seemed neither one of them were equipped to handle two on their own, so anytime they needed a babysitter it would boil down to Joni and Jason or Casey and Nicole. But this particular day when Jill was at work, Jackie had some last minute touch-ups to her hopeful next chapter of a career. She had an appointment to preview a storefront no
t even a block away from her sister’s house. It seemed like the perfect place for a neighborhood lawyer. She and Joni saw the sign in the store one afternoon when she had the twins over to Joni’s while Jill worked. The idea presented itself as a silly concept…some sort of pipe-dream. But when her sister said ‘you should go for it’ before the idea ever left her head as they stood in front of the vacant building, Jackie knew she should give the idea some serious thought. So she made some phone calls and began a business plan and now she was on her way to see the shop and finish the plan. The next thing to do would be to present it to Jill.
She kissed her twins, winked at the women holding each one and snickered knowing they were going to have a time of it. Looking after one ten-month-old infant wasn’t easy, but two was nearly impossible, she had special training since being their primary caretaker since birth. Even Jill was uncomfortable taking care of both at the same time alone.
Joni winked at her sister, “You can do this.”
“Do what?” Casey asked as she placed Juliette in the play area.
Jackie narrowed her eyes at Joni and shook her head, “It’s a surprise.”
“Surprise for who?”
“It would be ‘whom’ and it’s for Jill…and no, I’m not saying what it is.”
Casey tickled Jase in the belly and pulled him from Joni’s arms, “Why not?”
Jackie quirked an eyebrow, “Do you really need to ask that?”
Casey giggled as she put the baby in the play area with his sister, “No, I guess not.”
Jackie kissed Joni on the cheek, “Mums the word, right?”
Joni winked at Casey, “Sure,” she said with a sly grin.
“Joni!”
“Oh don’t get your panties in a twist, I already know.”
Jackie turned back to her sister with a glare.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything and I won’t. I’m just so proud of you.” Casey said as she pulled her friend into a hug.
“Me too,” Joni said as she joined in the hug.
“Okay…okay. I’m feeling a little claustrophobic.”
They pulled away not before kissing Jackie on the cheeks at the same time.
“Go knock ‘em dead,” Joni said while she ushered her sister out the door. “Mom and Dad would be so proud of you.”
Jackie’s smile spread across her face, “Thanks, I’ll do my best.” But as she walked out the door, she looked at her keepsake pail and read the inscription again. It might have been just a symbol and silly to anyone else, but this little pail and the wisdom engraved within its borders held a special reassurance for her; she could do this, take the leap and not be afraid to fall on her face. And it was all because of the belief that Jill had in her, it gave her the resolve and the courage to make the decision.
Chapter 38
Jackie sat nervously on the other side of the booth waiting for the right moment to spring the ‘I have news’ news. It was only two days after she finished her business plan, met with the bank and the Real Estate company…now she just needed to show it to her wife. She was afraid Jill would be pissed off not being included in the decision…even though she had confirmed everything, she wouldn’t move forward if Jill wasn’t on board.
Jackie fiddled with the straw in her glass of iced tea, barely able to look her wife in the eye.
“What’s eating you?” Jill asked as she quirked an eyebrow.
Jackie smirked, “Well, not you lately,” the mirth spread out across her face as she watched Jill’s jaw drop open.
“Well Darling, we do have two infants and two dogs. Not easy to find alone time much less naked time.”
“Yes, well…I do miss you.”
Jill’s face reddened as she thought about their trysts and how she missed them and the woman staring at her with those intense blue eyes. “Let’s remedy that soon.”
“Yes…but that isn’t why I’m so on edge?”
“No?”
“Well, not the only reason,” Jackie pulled a portfolio out of her knapsack and slid it across the table toward her wife.
“What’s this?”
“Open it.”
Jackie sat in silence as Jill read through the first couple pages, then scanned the rest of them as she stopped periodically to regard a picture. “Well?” Jackie’s insides started to churn as she looked at the woman seemingly avoiding making eye contact.
Jill cleared her throat before raising her eyes to face a very expectant look, “This is an awesome idea.”
“Really?”
“Yeah…but, why didn’t you tell me?”
Jackie’s eyes found the table, “I’m sorry. I wanted it to be a surprise and I wanted to make sure I was going to do it…not just talk about it. I mean, it’s a huge undertaking and as you probably saw in the portfolio the costs associated with it. Are you okay with all of this?”
“I am actually…and I am so proud of you. You who wouldn’t make a commitment and was afraid to take any risk beyond what you could control.”
“I’ll admit, I did research the fuck out of it.”
“And what did you find?”
“Well the store was actually a neighborhood grocery store I remember from when I was a kid. It was run by Italian immigrants and when they passed away last year, their children closed it and put it up for sale. I also found out that the province and those surrounding it do not have a family practice attorney, those looking for divorce, adoption and wills have to go into the city…so I ran some numbers of how many residents of the province use a city attorney. Those numbers were pretty high, so according to the statistics it makes for a good investment.”
Jill watched as Jackie’s face lit up while she spoke, her eyes were wide with hope and faith in herself.
“And the best part is I can make my own hours. I can even take the kids because there’s a room in the back I can turn into a play room, plus Joni is only two doors down.”
“So am I gonna get to see it?”
“Of course my dear, I actually made an appointment with the realtor for 3:00 p.m.”
Jill looked down at her phone to check the time and a wide grin spread across her face.
“What are you smiling at?” Jackie asked while she sipped her tea.
Jill’s face started to warm, “You are so beautiful and right now, I’m so fucking hot for you.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes. Where are the twins?”
Jackie quirked an eyebrow, “Home with Casey and Joni…why?”
“Awesome, you still have a key to Joni’s house?”
Jackie’s face began to warm seeing the devious smile spread across Jill’s face which was now causing a warm up between her legs as well. “I do. But do you think we have time before…”
Jill stood from the booth and pulled Jackie to her feet, “Oh Darling, I think we need to. Let’s get out of here. We need to make up for lost time.” Jill waggled her eyebrows and licked her lips suggestively.
As they walked to the parking lot, Jill expected to find the SUV they purchased after the twins were born. But instead she saw Jackie’s motorcycle. “Seriously?”
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what’?”
Jackie smiled, “Come on Jill, we never get to use it anymore. Don’t you miss it?”
Jill enjoyed the occasional rides, but it did frighten her to be riding through the streets of New York, especially on a weekday afternoon. “I can’t say I miss it per se…it was fun.”
“Fun…she says.” Jackie grinned as she climbed on the bike and hit the ignition button.
“Where’s your helmet?” Jill yelled over the rumble of the engine.
Jackie just smiled as she cracked the pipes, pulled the bike from the kickstand and waited while Jill climbed on.
“Well if you’re helmet free, then so am I.” Jill stuffed the helmet back into the saddlebag and mounted the bike like she was climbing onto a horse. “Let’s go stud,” she whispered in Jackie’s ear.
&
nbsp; It had been more than a year since they’ve been on her bike and as much as Jackie was nervous about the ride, she wanted to feel the wind in her hair and her woman pressed against her back. She knew it would not be long before Jill suggested selling it with the argument of ‘they are too dangerous’ and ‘we have a family to consider.’ So she was going to get in every ride she could until the winter came and she knew Jill would begin the ‘sell the bike’ nagging.
Jackie knew the back roads, she didn’t have to travel on the major thoroughfares with all the traffic and crazy New York drivers. With the engine rumbling beneath her and the loud crack of the pipes…she felt as if they were transported back in time when Jill would wrap her arms tightly around Jackie’s waist, resting her head on her shoulder and always whisper sexy and sometimes dirty things into her ear. It was a beautiful, but hectic time of wedding planning, jobs and insemination. The only thing they didn’t get to do, something that Jackie wanted to do; was to ride up the coast to Maine on their bike. Maybe that would be her argument when Jill started her quest to get rid of the bike, take the trip when the kids were a little older and could spend a few days with their Aunt Joni and Uncle Jason.
Once Jackie pulled next to the curb, Jill immediately dismounted the bike and waited while her wife fiddled with the kick-stand. Her heart was jackhammering in her chest like it did the very first time they were together. She couldn’t understand why she was so nervous, they certainly weren’t strangers. She gathered the reason could be because it had been quite a while since they’ve been intimate. Having two little ones can certainly quash a sex life and Jill made a mental note to have a baby sitter or sitters more often. She and Jackie needed their time together, it was essential to their love and their relationship and now Jill felt it was essential right this second and she was about to pull Jackie from the bike and tell her just lay it on the ground. Jill had an urgent need to be filled.
Without A Pail Page 44