by Neil, Louisa
During one sexual moment, he’d finally bared his problem to her out of frustration, literally by dropping his pants and letting her examine him openly. She hadn’t recoiled and belittled him, rather touched him gently with her fingertip. He’d pulled away embarrassed and she didn’t push the issue.
A few months later, they’d been in the barn near midnight one evening. He’d accompanied her on a moonlit horseback ride around the family compound. As they were putting up the horses, she’d teased him about his upcoming birthday. “You’ve got a birthday this week, Vern, what’s your heart’s delight?”
“I’m fine, Lila, I have everything I could ever need.”
“Come on,” she’d teased. “Everybody has a secret want. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“What I want I’ll never have.”
“You mean to be normal.” He’d stiffened but continued to brush out his horse. “If anyone can relate to that wish, you know it’s me.”
“We’re both victims of our birth, Lila. Neither of us can have our heart’s delight.”
“Just once,” she sighed, “I’d like to complain about my disease. But father always told me I was very lucky to know what was wrong with me. If living at night was my only sacrifice, I should be happy I could still go out.”
“He’s right to a point. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but…”
“I know I’ve led a charmed life. Private tutors, evening college classes at sixteen, and two degrees by the time I turned twenty. All this schooling and no way to use it.” Her sigh had come from deep within her.
“Come on, Lila. When you were younger, you used to view it as an adventure.”
“I guess I’m just restless. I’ll never get married and have a normal life.”
“Neither will I, but I’ve learned to accept my reality.”
She’d walked beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Just what exactly is your problem? I’ve always heard whispers, but from what I saw I didn’t consider you deformed, just small.”
Lila knew she’d annoyed him when he turned quickly, glaring at her. “That was rude, but I won’t apologize. You’re my best friend in the world, and I don’t understand why you think you can’t live a normal life.”
“Let it go, Lila. I’m sure you know you just want me to tell you the details again.”
“Yes, Vernon, I do. But because I want to help you, not make fun of you.”
“You’ll make fun of me.”
“No, I wouldn’t. You didn’t run from me five years ago when I snuck out and got such a horrible sunburn. You soothed my blisters every day and helped me to see what a stupid thing I’d done. Please Vern, just let me see you once more.”
They’d argued back and forth until he finally let out a sigh. “Lila, you know I don’t have a normal penis. I’m not like most men.”
“That part I know, but how? Vern, you know I’m not going to let this drop, so it will be simpler to just satisfy my curiosity.”
“You’re a spoiled girl, Lila. You can’t always have your way just to fit your whim.” Lila had started to walk away and then rushed back, tackling him into an empty stall. They’d rolled around and he’d tried to push her away, but she’d had the advantage of being a woman, and he wouldn’t hurt her. Finally, she’d managed to undo his pants and pull them down.
Lila remembered the barn becoming very quiet. Vern lay on his back with his arm covering his eyes. “You’re small,” she whispered, almost to herself more than him. “But…” She’d gently touched his nub with the tip of her finger. It grew slightly before her eyes. Lila didn’t think about what she would do, instead, she leaned over him and flicked her tongue on the tip. It grew larger. Not huge, as she was used to seeing, but not deformed.
“Now, do you understand why no woman will ever want me?”
“I understand why you think a woman wouldn’t, but the right woman…” Lila had dropped down and straddled his legs, holding him in place. Again, she licked his tip, and his little cock stirred. “You’re getting bigger,” she told him just before taking his penis to her lips. She’d sucked men’s cocks before and didn’t think this would be much different, easier, actually, because she wouldn’t have to control her gag reflex. “Just lay back,” she’d told him and began to suck his penis in earnest. He’d enlarged in her mouth, not to a full normal size, more like the size of her little finger. With continued inward pulls, Vern began to squirm under her. She let him move because she knew he wasn’t moving away, just writhing under her.
Lila tasted the drop of pre-cum and knew she’d get him to come. She sucked harder and fondled his normal-sized testicles.
“Lila…” he’d all but cried out and come in her mouth. It wasn’t a lot of cum like she was used to, but he’d had an orgasm. She continued to lick him clean, as she would any of the men she’d given head to, until he lay exhausted on the stall floor, his body in a total sweat. She’d crawled up beside him and pulled him into her arms.
“Thank you for sharing this with me, Vern.”
“Did I really have a choice?” He’d finally uncovered his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Unless I wanted to physically push you away, you knew you’d get what you wanted.”
“Maybe you wanted it, too, just to prove to yourself you are normal.”
“‘Normal’ is not a word I associate with my all but nonexistent penis.”
“Smaller than I’ve seen before, but I’m still new at this. You’re only the fourth cock I’ve sucked.”
“And the smallest.”
“Yes, the smallest, but at least you didn’t gag me.” Lila waited for his reaction and was surprised when he burst out laughing. She was relieved he had a bit of humor left.
“Well, at least we know I can come,” he’d said.
“You mean you’ve never fondled yourself or tried to make yourself come?”
“No.”
“I bet you will from now on.” Lila smiled, and he reluctantly smiled at her.
“I suppose so, now you’ve made me want something I never knew I missed.”
“Anytime you want, I’ll suck you, Vern. Think of it as practice for me instead of finding strangers to experiment with.”
“Yes, I know, the gardeners and the pool boy. Thank you for my birthday present, Lila.”
“You’re welcome, Vern.”
They’d finally put their clothing to rights and gone back to the house. Nobody seemed to notice anything different about either of them. She never repeated the act again, although for a time she kept offering. He’d been adamant that sex between them was inappropriate. Finally, she’d acquiesced to his feelings. But it was still their private secret. Lila knew he never dated, but she also knew after their time together in the barn, he’d carried himself different, more assured.
All these years later, when she thought back, she still remembered how surprised they both were when he started to grow in length a bit. Then she’d sucked the clit-like penis between her lips. He’d come from her attention, a small load that she’d swallowed. Even now, she could remember his taste. They’d never repeated the act. Only she felt once he knew he could perform, his being had lightened. As if the weight of the problem had been released. He never dated and preferred to stay aloof.
He’d become her nonsexual confidant, the one she told all her secrets to. The man who didn’t judge her extracurricular activities with other men, rather made sure was protected from disease. When she was making arrangements to purchase the island, he was her confidant. Vern was technically an employee, but to Lila, he was her best friend. She was always safe with Vern, and he understood how she valued his protections. Their situations worked for them. That was all that she cared about.
Chapter Two
Ben sat in his furnished apartment in Queens, New York, the rattling of the subway trains jarring his every bone. The beer bottle he held was long forgotten to his thoughts. He’d expected to hear from Lila Abbott by now and was rapidly becoming discouraged
that he’d not gotten the position. While it wouldn’t be the end of the world as he knew it, the last weeks had made him realize how much he really wanted the caretaker job on Pyxis Island. When he’d gotten the e-mail about the first interview, he’d looked up online the history of the island. He knew it had been renamed by Ms. Abbott to Pyxis Island. He still cursed himself for not looking in the dictionary for its meaning. He now knew it meant mariner’s compass, which he decided was fitting especially with the lighthouse on the island. It was located one mile offshore in the Atlantic Ocean off the east coast of New York.
Research had taught him it had been a government facility for decades and only sold a few years back when they decided to relocate their laboratories to Kansas. To this day, nobody really knew what they experimented on out there, only whispers and gossip were occasionally tossed around. Now it was privately owned by Lila Abbott. He knew little about her even after several rounds of Googling and old-fashioned book researching. She had family money, but he wasn’t able to trace it back to a singular source, only that it was family money for many years.
He did know the Abbotts were the sole owners of the fourth largest privately owned corporation in the United States. She was a graduate of several east coast universities, each degree more impressive than the last. She was a chemical biologist with backgrounds in business management and research so classified he couldn’t begin to penetrate the firewalls built around it. She was an accomplished woman in all ways. The entire Abbott clan had been known for being quiet and aloof, staying out of the public eye as much as possible. There were several libraries and hospitals that survived on Abbott donations, but all had strict nondisclosure policies. As did the contract he hoped to sign. Ben had no regrets about leaving his old life behind, decided a fresh start was what his life needed. Now all he had to do was wait, and that was the one thing he didn’t do well. He had no way of knowing how many others interviewed for the same position or their backgrounds.
He thought back to his first interview on the island where Wyatt gave him a tour of the whole place, explaining what each building housed, what projects Lila wanted completed, and the general maintenance that would be needed as well as the staff for each section he’d be expected to manage. He’d felt his heart race when he learned he’d be in charge of renovating the old lighthouse. Wyatt had been polite and precise with the information he gave him. He was brought back to the ferry landing where he was taken back to the mainland and told they’d be in touch.
There’d been more interviews since. When he’d been taken into more sensitive areas of the complex, he’d filled out numerous forms and questionnaires, had a very invasive medical checkup, and a very intimidating meeting with the Abbott Industries legal team in their Manhattan offices.
They’d been quite rude in their approach to his sexual background and divorce. They weren’t happy about his financial situations. Ben had been quick to remind the very proper men in expensive suits about his divorce and the short sale of their home at the dissolution of his marriage. He’d refused to be browbeaten by the lawyers, refusing to let them see the angst they created. He remembered tugging off his strangling tie and opening the top buttons on his shirt once he reached the privacy of the elevator after the meeting. Then he wondered if there were cameras in the elevator. He finally reached the street and took several deep breaths. It wasn’t until he was home, undressed, and scanning the sports channels that he finally relaxed. Even then, he still carried an edge of apprehension, wondering if he’d impressed the legal team or if they’d discourage his employment.
A week later, he was invited to lunch with Lila Abbott. He had nervous knots in his stomach the whole drive out, and the ferry ride on a windy day made it worse. He couldn’t comprehend how one short mile from the mainland to the island could be so turbulent. That day he’d met Vernon, Ms. Abbott’s butler. While he seemed nice enough, his accent was a bit hard to decipher when he was asked to wait in Lila’s office.
He’d stood dumbstruck when she entered the elegant office, her glossy black hair hanging down her back, brushing her slim waist. She wore a white silk blouse over a black ankle-length skirt with very high-heeled, leather boots. A tall woman in her own right, the extra height gave her an added air of a goddess. His mouth had gone dry, and he stumbled over his words being introduced, unable to look away from her penetrating green eyes. Her alabaster complexion seemed to accent her eyes further. She had a gray streak across the front of her hair, making it hard to decipher her true age. This was an important step in the employment process with the elusive Lila Abbott in the flesh. And what flesh it was.
The interesting thing he realized when she’d invited him to take a seat and Vernon had poured the wine was Lila Abbott knew her appearance was ethereal, and she used his confusion to study him. In that instant, he understood her. She was all about being in charge and not about to defer to anyone. He swallowed hard, accepting she’d never defer to him. While she was charming to a fault and gave him tidbits of information about the island, there was a part of her she held in reserve, as if she was always on edge. Now, weeks later, he couldn’t remember what they talked about, only that he did most of the talking, answering her questions about his childhood, schooling, and failed marriage. While it was never said, he felt she also knew about his occasional lust for another man. It didn’t seem to matter. By the time he was on the ferry heading back to the mainland, he realized he knew nothing more about the position, only that she’d be in touch.
The third time he visited, Wyatt gave him an insider’s tour of the laboratories and other research facilities. While he was never invited into any of the spaces, it was the first time he’d been allowed inside those buildings. They lunched with Lila who wore a black silk shirt over slim black pants with four-inch heels and a wildly patterned and colored scarf around her throat, the edges floating behind her to her knees. Again, they were all polite but a bit reserved. He asked what he thought were appropriate questions, especially about time frames for projects and the staff he’d oversee. He left on the evening ferry, full with employees returning home for the night. None of them did more than acknowledge him with a nod, none of them tried to talk to him. By the time they reached the dock, he realized they hadn’t conversed with each other. Rather, they seemed to be absorbed in the view.
He’d heard nothing for a few weeks and then received an e-mail from Lila’s legal team. Ben met her lawyers at their offices for a second time where his employment contract was explained in agonizing detail along with the nondisclosure agreements. They put a heavy precedent about those agreements. Ben had signed the forms without hesitation. He was told he’d be contacted by Lila. He’d had days of highs and lows, the lows predominant as time went by without hearing from her. Just when he figured he’d screwed it all up, she’d invited him back for supper. He didn’t care about boat schedules, just that he’d see her again.
Her sunset tour was basically the same as Wyatt’s first tour of the island, but she was animated about the changes she wanted made, intense about restoring the old lighthouse. She’d told him she wanted him to see her home through moonlight to get a different perspective. Not once during the entire evening they drove around the island did she give him any personal attention. So when she stopped the boat and sucked him off on the ride back to the mainland, he’d been confused and enthralled. Whatever her reasons, he knew she’d be a woman to contend with, if he ever heard from her again.
Sitting in his dinky apartment with the blinds drawn, he put the warm beer aside and opened his pants, freeing his erection and tugging his T-shirt up his chest. It happened every time he thought about her swallowing him, his cock just got hard of its own accord. Ben drew a deep breath and closed his eyes, his right hand stroking his cock as he visualized her on her knees before him, swallowing him and pinching her breasts. The image of her lifting each one to her lips and licking it made him surge in his hand.
Without a second thought, he rolled onto his side, using the arm of
the chair to support his weight. He sucked on his left index finger, trying to match the rhythm she’d swallowed his cock with. Ben groaned when he pushed his moist finger in his anus and began to pump his cock faster. He came after pressing a second finger beside the first and rolling slightly backward. It pushed his fingers deeper inside him and let his cum spray along his chest. “Christ,” he said aloud, “the woman is inside my brain.” He stroked his cock a bit more but couldn’t get it hard again. Giving up, he showered and checked his e-mail for the tenth time, hoping to see a mail from Lila. There wasn’t one.
Ben returned to his apartment with the Sunday newspapers and a paper bag with coffee and a buttered bagel. He spread the classified sections of the papers on the coffee table and set out his breakfast. He’d come to terms with the fact that Lila was not going to hire him to run her island. He decided he could waste more time and feel sorry for himself or find a job that would continue to pay his rent. Comparing the advertisements, he grabbed his laptop to look up a company name he wasn’t familiar with.
And there it was, the icon blinking telling him he had new mail. With the sweep of his arm, the papers scattered to the floor as he propped the computer in front of him. His stomach went queasy, realizing this electronic mail would predict his future. While he hated that she controlled it, at least he would know for sure. The mail was short and to the point. He was expected to start work in one week.
Ben had known loss and happiness. Today he was elated. Lila and her Pyxis Island would give him a new start at life, one he hoped would work out better than his last attempts. He scarfed down his bagel and coffee with relish. His appetite had returned. Gathering up the newspapers, he tossed them all in the garbage then quickly pulled them out, realizing he’d need them to pack up what little was in his apartment. That night he splurged on supper out and a few beers at the local bar he’d begun to hang out at. He didn’t give the bartender any information about his new position, only that he was moving on.