by Ashley West
And yeah, he could admit that his track record wasn’t the best when it came to things like this, but people changed. Sometimes someone was too good to play with.
“You don’t know anything about it, Milara,” he said finally. “You don’t know how I feel about her, and to be honest, I don’t know why you care, considering you don’t see her as anything more than an annoyance that comes with the job.”
He was gratified to see Milara look away.
“You don’t know what I think,” she snapped.
Kratos sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was fight about this with her. “I’m going to be honest with you, Mil. I don’t owe you a thing. Whatever feelings I have for her or don’t have for her are between me and her.” He smirked. “Although, I bet she’d be pleased to hear you’re defending her.”
“Shut up.”
“What’s the matter? It’s fine for you to go around making accusations and assumptions about people and their feelings, but it’s not okay for someone else to do it to you? That doesn’t seem fair, Mil.”
“Shut up. I was...just making sure. I know how you are.”
“If I was going to have some kinda fling on Earth, don’t you think I’d be smarter than to do it with someone we’re working with?”
She gave him a flat look. “I don’t know. Would you?”
“Okay, okay.” Kratos cringed. Sometimes working with someone who knew him so well was a pain in the butt. “There was that one time. And that ended up working to our advantage if I remember correctly. Something about a bonus for services rendered?”
“You were essentially a concubine for her,” Milara said dryly. “I don’t know why you’re proud of that.”
“Mostly because it was fun.”
“You are the most-”
“Am I interrupting?”
They both turned to see Kirstie standing there, looking sheepish. Kratos sighed and fought the urge to smack himself in the face as he wondered how long she’d been there and what all she’d heard.
“No,” he said, grinning at her. “Mil and I were just reliving some of the good old days. Come in.” He held a hand out to her and she smiled at him and took it, stepping into the room.
He could see how awkwardly she glanced at Milara, and Milara refused to meet her eyes. “I need to go talk to Sanaal about something,” she mumbled and then made her escape before either Kratos or Kirstie could say anything.
Kratos just shook his head.
“She doesn’t like me very much, does she?” Kirstie asked, looking at the floor.
“She likes you fine,” Kratos replied. “More than she’ll admit, anyway.” He slid his fingers under her chin and tipped her face up. “Ah, there you are. Lovely as always.”
That made her blush, and she poked him in the side. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You like me anyway.”
She didn’t try to deny it. “I’m bored,” Kirstie said instead. “There’s nothing to do around the apartment, and Keith is driving me nuts, so I thought I’d come see what you’re doing.”
"There's not much going on here either," Kratos told her with a shrug. "It's been a quiet few days. Can't say if that's a good thing or not."
"The Grey probably didn't expect opposition."
He nodded, dragging fingers through his hair. "You're probably right about that. It worries me a bit, though. Mostly because I know they're going to come up with some way to get back at us. That's how they operate."
The words were said carelessly, honestly, and when Kirstie looked worried, Kratos regretted it. He didn't want to lie to her, not about this and what might happen, but he didn't want her to be afraid, either. Nothing good came from wallowing in your fear.
"Come on," he said, squeezing her hand. "Let's go for a walk. Getting out of here will do us both some good."
She didn't complain, just followed him out and down the stairs of the ship to the outside. Evening was falling over the city, but the air was still warm, and Kratos inhaled deeply, smelling the wildflowers that grew nearby under the scent of exhaust. With some work, this place could be much better than it was now. Humans would have to change their ways pretty drastically, but their planet could be a much better place.
"So," Kirstie said, jarring him out of his thoughts. "How long have you known Milara?"
The question amused him for two reasons. One, most people usually asked that question with the tone in their voice that made it clear that they thought he and Milara were a thing. They were most definitely not and had never been a thing. Two, he could tell that Kirstie wasn't asking it in that way, and it was more one of those things where she was worried that she wasn't going to get the approval of one of his oldest friends.
Kratos squeezed her hand again.
"A long time," he replied. "Honestly since I was a teenager. We've always traveled in the same circles. Dangerous people looking for work, you know. She's nothing to mess with unless you know what you're doing, and most people don't. We joined The Kilan together, actually."
"Really?" Kirstie asked, looking up at him. "I thought maybe the four of you had founded it or something."
He shook his head. "Nope. Not even. The Kilan is Combo's baby, honestly. He was the head of it at first, using that big brain of his to get jobs and direct it. But it got to be too much for him. And he's not much of a people person, as you've no doubt seen. It's hard for him sometimes, and he'd rather just gather information than have to fight. So he brought in Sanaal." Kratos laughed warmly. "The thing about Sanaal is that he's kinda a big deal. Some kind of arena champion on a planet filled with fighters. Combo's always been smart about recruiting."
"He seems like he's smart about everything," Kirstie pointed out. "How did you and Milara join up?"
"Stars, this was a long time ago. So, I was always in the danger for hire business. I worked as a bodyguard for people and property, hired muscle and all that, you know. There's not much else out there when you look like me. I thought about being a solo merc, but that's harder than it's worth. I happened to be on this backwater planet, helping some lady dig her house out of a swamp for credits when I heard about The Kilan. Even back then they were talked about all the time. Went to see if they needed more people, met Milara during training. We worked our way up from grunts to one of the big four over the course of a few years, and here we are."
Talking about it made him smile. His life would be so different now if he hadn't joined up when he did. Combo, Milara, and Sanaal were the people who mattered the most to him, and The Kilan, all of them, were his family. Whatever he had been before joining up didn't really matter, and there was nothing he treasured more than his position with them.
He glanced down at Kirstie. Well. The list of things he cared about was growing.
"That's incredible," she said, smiling wistfully. "That you just found something that...clicked for you like that. Something that you're good at."
"What's with the tone?" Kratos asked. Maybe not the most sensitive way to go about it, but he could tell something was wrong.
Kirstie shrugged, tipping her face up to look at the sky as they walked. "I don't know. I'm jealous, I guess."
"You want to be a mercenary?"
"No," she said, nudging him playfully. "Just. You know what you want. You've made a name for yourself. Combo says you can't even go into a cantina without getting free drinks and being hailed for stories about your jobs and stuff."
That was true enough. "You want to be famous?" Kratos asked. "Or infamous, depending, I guess."
"No," she said again. "I want to be sure."
"Of what?"
"Everything? Myself, my place in life, what I'm doing. I just. I've never felt like that. I've tried, so much, to carve out some space for myself. Something that is just mine. Something that no one can take from me or discount me for. But it's hard, and my whole life, I've never had it."
Kratos was quiet as she talked. They'd spoken of her family just a bit in the time they'd known each other, an
d he'd seen firsthand the way Kirstie seemed to shrink sometimes when her brother was being overbearing or when the subject of her other siblings came up. He knew she was the youngest, and he wondered if they'd ignored her when she was a child. If they'd made her feel like she was the weakest, or the most disposable.
It was like that on some planets, of course. The younger you were, the less valuable, especially if you had siblings who were older and more skilled than you. Sometimes a family couldn't afford to feed all their kids, so the youngest went hungry. Sometimes they were sold into work camps or sent to study elsewhere.
Sometimes their families died and they didn’t have anything else they could do but try to make their way in the world alone. Kratos knew that first hand, and he understood how it could make a person feel worthless.
He smiled at her. “You just have to find your own place,” he said. “It’s not easy, but…” He shrugged his shoulders as he trailed off. “It’s fulfilling.”
“That’s what you did.” It wasn’t a question.
Kratos nodded. “It is. And I’m happy. Trust me, finding your own place where you fit and where you belong is a lot better than having someone put you somewhere.”
“That makes sense.”
“Of course it does.”
She snorted and punched his shoulder lightly, but her smile seemed brighter than it had before. Kratos put an arm around her shoulders. He didn’t want to think about Milara and her worries, and he was pretty sure that Kirstie didn’t want to think about her family and how they made her feel. It wasn’t completely safe to go out, their last excursion had proved that, but if they were quick, they could work in a change of scenery.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said.
In the end, they wound up back at the building. Aside from the ship, it was the safest place to be, and apparently it was late enough at night that most people were otherwise occupied. Anise, Kirstie’s roommate was watching a movie with some other people, which meant that their apartment would be empty.
That seemed to brighten Kirstie’s mood even more, and she took his hand and led him up the stairs.
He’d seen her apartment before, and honestly wasn’t impressed. Maybe there was something about living on a ship that made small apartments that didn’t even move seem smaller and more cramped by comparison. But it was different when it was just the two of them alone, and Kirstie was heading for the bedroom.
“I could use a shower,” she said, stretching her arms above her head. A tantalizing strip of skin was revealed just above her waistband, and Kratos couldn’t help but look at it. He was helpless to it. Or something like that. Mostly he just liked her skin.
Kirsten installed him on her bed with a smile at how much bigger he was than the bed itself.
"I won't be long," she murmured, one hand reaching out to stroke the side of his face.
"Take your time," Kratos replied, nuzzling against her palm before turning his head to press a kiss there. "I'll be here."
If he was being honest, he was tired. Worn out from the fighting and from watching Milara watch him incessantly. As soon as Kirstie had slipped off to the bathroom, Kratos made himself as comfortable as he could on the bed, wincing when it squeaked and groaned with each movement he made. Eventually he managed to get his head on the pillows, his feet hanging over the edge of the bed. It wasn't the most comfortable he'd been in, but it wasn't bad.
He lost track of time as he laid there, looking at the ceiling for a while and tracing the cracks in it with his eyes, the sound of the shower and Kirstie's pleasant humming helping to soothe him. The next thing he knew the water was shutting off, and the sound of a door opening had his eyes opening as well. Footsteps preceded Kirstie into the bedroom, along with the scent of citrus and warmth.
Kratos looked up, and his mouth fell open. He'd seen women in every state of undress there was. He'd seen them naked and on display, buttoned up and ready to strip for him, in between those two, eager and pliant. He'd talked women who were shy into letting him slide a hand up their skirts until callused fingers could find silky thighs and stroke fire into feeling. There wasn't much he hadn't seen was the point.
But there was something about seeing Kirstie in her element that was just stunning. She had stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel. Her hair was still damp and it was pushed back from her face, showing off her delicate features and making her eyes look large in her face.
She was blushing slightly, eyes on the floor before they darted up to look at him and then away again. It was bold for Kirsten, that much was for sure, and Kratos didn't know what to say.
"Come here," eventually made its way out of his mouth, and he crooked a finger at her as he sat up on the bed.
Kirstie licked her lips and obeyed, going to him. She slid into his lap, legs on either side of it, effectively straddling him.
In this position, it was impossible to ignore the fact that she was naked under that towel.
Kratos dipped his head, pressing his nose to the crook of her neck and inhaling slowly. The warm, clean scent of whatever it was she used to wash with was heady and wonderful, and Kratos let it surround him, chasing away the exhaustion that had been wearing on him of late. With her there, delicious and pliant in his arms, sleep was the last thing on his mind.
"Stars, you're beautiful like this," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her neck before pulling back.
"Like what?" she asked, voice soft.
"Like you're mine."
The words were out of his mouth before he'd really had time to consider them, and when Kirstie's eyes widened and that flush spread from her cheeks down her neck to her collarbones, Kratos tipped his head to the side, curious. "Why so shy?" he asked. "It's not like I've never seen you naked before."
If anything, her blush got darker. "I know," she replied. "It's just...this feels different."
"Why?"
"Because...I don't know, just because. Because we're in my bed, and we're all alone, and you...you just said I'm yours."
Kratos leaned in and kissed her, wanting to reassure and soothe her nerves. "Aren't you?" he murmured into the kiss, lips brushing hers, their breath mingling together.
Kirstie inhaled sharply. "I suppose."
He smirked. "Let's see if we can make you more sure, hm?"
It was a challenge he was setting for himself, really, and he held Kirsten's gaze as he reached for the part of her towel that was tucked together to keep it up, fingers dancing along the bundle of it to see if she'd stop him. When she didn't, he dipped those fingers in and let the towel fall.
And she was as lovely as always, skin slightly pinked from her blushing and the heat of her shower. Her breasts were high and firm, perky and tipped in dusty pink nipples that hardened in the cooler air of the room.
Kratos watched for a moment and then leaned back in, apply his mouth to her skin, wet open kisses that trailed from the hollow of her throat to her collarbones and then down even further to the warm tops of her breasts.
He kissed each mound, enjoying the slight intake of breath from Kirstie before he cupped each breast in hand and bent further down to take a nipple into his mouth.
The low whine he got for his trouble was more than worth it, and he groaned at the sound she made when he pinched the other nipple, not wanting it to feel left out. He applied his teeth lightly, and the arch of Kirstie's back showed how much she liked that.
"Kratos," she breathed, fingers winding into his hair. "Please."
"In good time," he murmured back, smirking wickedly at her. They had time tonight, more time than usual. No one was looking for them, they weren't out in danger, there wasn't anything left to be done for the evening. He could draw this out as long as she'd let him, make her fall apart for him over and over again, and savor each and every moment of it.
Honestly, he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more than that at the moment.
There was something about watching a woman fall apart
under him that was just… He didn’t have the words for it right then, but it was great. He hadn’t had the time to really explore Kirstie like he wanted to, to find all the places that made her tick, made her moan for him and do that lovely arch that pressed her chest closer to him.
No time like the present.
He pushed her down so that her back was on the bed, tossing the towel to the floor as he leaned over her, a smirk on his face as he let his eyes roam her body.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, voice soft.
The flush covered her face and chest, and she looked away. “Am not.”
“Hey,” Kratos said, balancing on one hand so he could touch her face with the other, making her look at him again. “You are. You’re just so…” He slid the hand down her cheek to her neck and then lower, caressing her chest and then down to her side, over her hips. Her skin was soft and warm from the shower, and he didn’t think he would ever get tired of touching her. “So perfect,” he finished.
“Kratos,” Kirstie whined, squirming under him.
“Kirsten,” he said back, grinning at her. “I’m just calling it like I see it. You can’t fault me for that.”
She made a face and stuck her tongue out at him, and he chased it back into her mouth with his own.
He kissed her hard, leaving no doubt that he wanted her. At least, he hoped there was no doubt. Usually the women he went after knew they were gorgeous. They knew they were tempting and seductive and all those things that made Kratos want them in the first place.
But it was different with Kirstie. There was something about her shyness that made him want to make her believe that she was everything he said she was. He wanted her to know that he thought she was special and brave and good, and Kratos would kiss her hundreds of times until she believed that he thought she was beautiful.
In denial or not, she was wet. Kratos discovered this as his hands slid down her stomach to linger between her legs. When he slipped a finger between her folds, it was hot and slick, and he smirked as she moaned into the kiss.