They arrived in her hometown just after dark. Despite the other roadblocks having been lifted, the army was still checking cars and identification out on the main highway, but Zara knew of some back roads and got them there without incident.
They parked on a street above the hill, made their way on foot through the woods and were now standing next to a wall of Dumpsters behind the bowling alley.
Because Vince and presumably Zara were wanted by the authorities, they couldn’t risk being seen in public, so Asher was going in to retrieve Olivia and Darius on his own. They’d considered calling her and telling her to come around back with Darius, but they couldn’t take the chance with the phone again. It was Asher’s belief that the new checkpoint was a result of that call being monitored.
Vince shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked at a piece of trash.
“Chill, bro,” Asher said, clapping a hand on Vince’s back. “I’ll get them. Don’t worry.”
Vince couldn’t remember feeling so powerless in his entire life. He clenched his fists and told himself not to punch one of the Dumpsters in front of him, even though that was exactly what he wanted to do.
“That’s my son in there.”
“And my woman. Do you think I’m going to let anything happen to them? Not a stinking chance. I’ll be in and out in a flash. Trust me.”
Zara touched a cool hand to his cheek. “Darius hasn’t met you yet anyway. He’s not likely to go with you. At least, he’d better not.”
Logically, he knew it made the most sense for Asher to go in alone, but emotionally, it pissed him the hell off. It didn’t feel right to sit back and let someone else handle this. His son’s welfare was his responsibility.
As soon as Asher left, Zara stepped in front of Vince, unzipped his coat, and wrapped her arms around his waist.
The tension in his neck and shoulders immediately abated. She was warm and smelled so good. He tucked her head under his chin and held onto her.
“Do you want me to tell him right away that you’re his father?” she whispered. “Or do you want me to introduce you as a friend…for now?”
A damn good question. The first answer that popped into his head was, why the hell shouldn’t I be introduced as his father?
Zara’s curves were soft beneath his hands, and he pulled her tighter against him. For some reason, holding her close like this, inhaling her sweet, intoxicating scent, made it easier to think clearly.
A gamut of emotions swirled inside his head, but rather than acting on the dominant one—anger, like he so often did—he sifted through the others to find a more appropriate one.
He was going to be meeting his son for the first time, which both terrified and thrilled him. But he couldn’t forget that his son would be meeting him for the first time, too. He considered the relationship he had with his own father, how much he’d loved and respected him.
“What would be best for him?” he asked.
“Hmmm.” Her voice vibrated through his chest. “For now, at least until we get to somewhere safe where we can really talk, what if I just say that you’re Olivia’s brother and that you’re someone special to me, too? Then we’ll go from there. That might be enough information for him for right now, or he may want more. If he does, then I’ll tell him the truth.”
He tensed. “The truth?”
She must’ve sensed his trepidation because she started rubbing his back. “I’ll tell him that we loved each other a long time ago. That we just met again and…” There was a pause and the air felt suddenly heavier with the words she was going to say. “And that I realized I never stopped loving you.”
He held onto her as if she might slip through his grasp. Then, grabbing two fistfuls of her hair, he pulled her head back. Her doe-like eyes glistened as she looked up at him.
His heart ached as he looked at her. She was so beautiful, so perfect. How could a man as deeply scarred as him be the object of her affections? It just didn’t make sense.
“You love me?” His voice sounded as if he’d been chewing on rocks.
“Do you doubt me?” There was no malice or hurt in her voice. It was just a simple, honest question. Which was how she’d been with him from the start. Simple and honest and pure.
“No, it’s just that—” He couldn’t go there. He couldn’t open himself up like this.
He tried to pull away but she held onto him. And then the words made it to the surface on their own. “I love you, Zara. So fucking much that it scares the hell out of me.”
Great. Did he just say that last part out loud? Couldn’t he have just said the I-love-you part and left it at that?
She touched his cheek again and smiled. “What’s so scary about love? Personally, I’m a fan of it.”
He exhaled slowly. Where did he start and how could he explain his feelings without sounding utterly pathetic?
She laced her fingers behind his back as if she could sense his reluctance and that he might try pulling away. Ha. She knew him well.
“When you love someone as much as I love you and then you’re finally together, you’re afraid you’re not good enough to deserve them. That you’ll never be good enough and that you’ll eventually do something to screw it up.”
“You’re not going to screw up.”
“How do you know? I’m fucked up, Zara. Damaged. I’m not the innocent seventeen-year-old boy that you once loved. That boy no longer exists. How can you love the man I am now when you don’t even know me?”
She splayed her small, delicate hand against his chest. “Because the man inside came to another world to find me. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or how many life experiences we have apart, my soul recognizes yours as its mate. The Fates brought you to me the first time and now they’ve brought me to you.”
She stretched up on her toes and pulled his head down, pressing her nose to his. “You will always be the man for me, Vince Crawford.”
His heart swelled as if it would burst from his chest. A kiss wouldn’t erase his fears or the darkness festering in his soul, but he kissed her anyway.
Her lips were soft and willing against his as he slid his tongue inside. She tasted minty and sweet—a combination of cupcakes and peppermint gum. He wanted to devour her goodness and make it his own.
Already semi-hard from having her body pressed to his, he was fully erect now. She had to feel it, too. It was all he could do to keep from rubbing against her like a rutting fool.
He broke the kiss and tucked her against his chest again.
No matter what his personal desires were, he couldn’t let that interfere with what was right for their son. This wasn’t a Vince and Zara show anymore. Their decisions affected another living, breathing person who would grow up to live a life of his own. A person who should be happy and healthy. A person for whom Vince was responsible.
He’d go along with this for now, but if he discovered that being together wasn’t the right thing for their son, then he would have to walk away.
Chapter Thirteen
As soon as Darius came around the corner of the building with Asher and Olivia, Zara broke into a flat-out sprint, threw her arms around him and swung him up off his feet.
“Mom, you’re squeezing me to death. Ack!”
She buried her nose in his blond hair. He smelled like little boy—sweaty with a heavy dose of pizza. “I’m hugging you like a Teddy bear. I’ll never let you go.”
“That’s silly. I’m not a Teddy bear. I’m made of skin and bones.”
She laughed. “Yes, you are. I’m just making up for all the days I missed.” She put him down and covered his cheeks with kisses.
“Mom, stop kissing me so much. That’s what Amber does.”
“Oh. Sorry.” He’d gotten into trouble for shoving a girl at recess but had been too embarrassed to tell the playground teacher that it was because the girl had been trying to kiss him. With a hand on his back, Zara guided him to the edge of the woods. “I hear you’ve been having fun.”
“Why is Auntie Olivia crying, Mom? And who’s that man?”
Zara looked up to see Olivia wrapped in Vince’s arms. He was gently rocking her, stroking her hair, telling her that he was fine and that he missed her, too.
“That’s her brother, honey. She hasn’t seen him in a very long time, so she’s really happy.”
Without letting go of Vince, Olivia reached out to Zara. “Thank you for bringing my brother back to me. To our family.” Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes red.
“I had a lot of help,” Zara said, looking over at Asher who was standing nearby holding a duffle bag.
She took the woman’s hand, but instead of clasping it or giving it a little squeeze, Olivia pulled her and Darius into a group hug with Vince.
“Mom, what did you do?” Darius asked, whispering loudly from inside the circle as if no one else could hear him.
“I’ll tell you when we get to the truck,” she whispered back, just as loudly.
Vince knelt down in front of Darius and took the boy’s hands in his. Zara’s heart jumped to her throat as she watched Vince interact with his son for the first time.
The resemblance was uncanny. Same nose. Same forehead. Same stubborn mouth. If she were to guess, she’d say Vince’s hair color had been the same as Darius’s when he was that age.
“Your mom is a hero,” Vince said, his voice cracking with emotion. “And very, very brave. You should be so proud of her.”
“My mom is a hero?” Darius’s eyes went wide and then he frowned. “Mom, is that true?”
“It depends—”
Darius didn’t wait for her to finish and turned back to Vince. “What’s your name and how come I don’t know you?”
“Well,” Vince said slowly, his gaze scouring every inch of Darius’s face as if committing it to memory. “Your mom and I knew each other a long time ago. Before you were born. So that’s why you don’t know me.”
Vince shook his hand, and Zara could tell her son wasn’t sure what to make of it, like this was something grown-ups do, but when Vince told him his name, Darius grinned wide.
“Mom, did you hear that?”
“Which part?”
“The part about his name,” he said, whispering loudly.
She didn’t know where he was going with this. “Yes, honey, I did.”
Darius cupped his hands over his mouth. “Did he know my dad?”
She nearly choked. Where had that come from?
Olivia was shaking her head and mouthing, “What the hell?”
Vince, his jaw practically on the ground, looked just as surprised as she was.
“Why do you ask?” Zara tried to sound like Darius’s question was no big deal.
“Because that’s my dad’s name, too.”
* * *
When they got to where the vehicles were parked, Asher grabbed the helmet from Vince. “You go in the truck. That’ll give you a chance to talk to Darius. Get to know him. It’s a long drive to the Iron Haven.”
They’d decided to head to the safe house that Rickert and Neyla were setting up to house Iron Guild warriors who came through the portal to fight the enemy. Then, after a good night’s sleep, they’d make the trek into the mountains and cross through the portal into Cascadia. Not only were things too volatile to stay here, but Vince’s mother was there. She may not have heard that he’d been found and rescued.
“You sure? It’s colder than shit on that thing.”
Asher laughed. “You forget. I grew up where we have no electricity or central heating. I’m hearty. My bones are used the cold. Hey, Liv.” Olivia, standing by the truck, looked up as he tossed her the keys. “I lead. You follow.”
“Yes, Tarzan.” She gave him a salute and climbed into the driver’s seat.
Vince chuckled to himself at her reply and then got serious again. “Thanks, man. I…I really appreciate everything you’ve done for my family.” Yeah, he really owed the guy. “I can see how much my sister cares about you.”
“My pleasure,” Asher said. “And I’ve enjoyed hanging out with Darius. Awesome kid. Cracks me the hell up.” Shaking his head, he smiled and swung a leg over the seat. “And my dog thinks he’s the cat’s meow.”
Olivia did well, Vince thought, striding toward the truck. Despite his original opinion, Asher was a damn good guy. Guess he shouldn’t have punched him.
Zara climbed into the back seat with Darius and the dog, while Vince sat up front in the passenger seat. Asher started the Harley and, with a gloved hand, motioned for them to follow. They hadn’t even gotten onto the road yet before Darius was chattering a mile a minute, excited to tell Zara everything he’d done while she was gone. Vince turned in his seat, fascinated to listen to his son talk.
“The cafeteria had that really gross spaghetti yesterday for lunch,” Darius said. “I almost barfed when I saw it on Ben’s plate.”
Zara rearranged his backpack at their feet. “Oh, that wouldn’t have been good. What did you do?”
He shrugged. “I ignored it. And then we had a lockdown and everyone freaked out because Amber said maybe that escaped convict was trying to get into our school.”
Vince grimaced.
Zara looked up to see his reaction. He shrugged, gave her a twisted smile. What can you do? The news was all over the internet. It didn’t shock him that the kids had heard about it.
Without taking her eyes off the road, Olivia reached out and gave his hand a squeeze.
“But we didn’t have to climb under our desks, or anything.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“I know! There are so many boogers under there. Seriously, Mom, it’s disgusting.”
They all laughed.
“Did you find out why you had a lockdown?” Zara asked.
Vince was struck once again by Zara’s warmth and sincerity. She was truly interested in everything Darius said and she knew how to communicate with him. Vince could watch the two of them interact every day until he died and it would never grow old.
“Mrs. Gandy said someone saw a bobcat in the parking lot. Nicholas said it wouldn’t try to break through the window to scratch us, so that’s why we didn’t need to hide under our desks.”
“Nicholas was probably right.”
Darius dug a pad of paper and crayons from his backpack. “What does a bobcat look like?”
“Like a large cat, I suppose. Do you know, Vince?”
Excited to be pulled into the conversation, he smiled. “The ones I’ve seen are about thirty pounds.” He held out his hands. “And about this big. Like a really large housecat. They’re tan with short tails and tufts of hair coming out of their ears.”
Darius looked up from his paper, his expression serious. “You saw a bobcat in real life?”
Vince nodded. “Several times. And once, I even saw a cougar. But he was really far away.”
Darius’s eyes widened. “Really? Where?”
“I remember that,” Olivia chimed in. “You wouldn’t give me the binoculars.”
“Maybe because you always hogged them,” he told his sister. “Anyway, we saw the cougar in the woods way up in the mountains. We used to go camping a lot when we were kids.”
Darius sifted through his crayons and picked out a tan one. “Like this color?”
“Looks about right.” Vince’s neck was getting a kink, but he didn’t want to turn and face the front.
Darius started to draw on the paper, then he looked up and studied Vince for a moment. “So you didn’t know my dad?”
Vince’s throat tightened. Caught off-guard again, he tried not to look too surprised.
Zara’s brows were lifted in a silent yes or no question. They’d agreed to tell Darius on the drive if the issue came up again rather than waiting for a better time. But then what was a better time? The boy was asking now and deserved an honest answer.
Heart pounding, he gave a quick nod. He was ready.
Zara brushed the hair from Darius’s forehead. �
��You understand that you can’t know everyone who shares the same name as you, right?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s not really a thing, I just thought that— Never mind.” Darius didn’t look up from his drawing. He was coloring the same line over and over. He knew something was up.
“No, it’s important,” Zara said softly, “and it’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” She paused for what seemed like forever and took a breath. Meanwhile, Vince could hardly breathe. “Honey, Vince is— Well, he’s…he’s your dad.”
Darius’s head whipped up. He stared first at his mom to see if she was telling him the truth, then he looked at Vince, as if wanting confirmation.
“Yep, buddy, it’s true. I’m…I’m your dad.” His voice was deeper than normal. Probably because the lump in his throat had grown from the size of a marshmallow to that of a freaking elephant.
Darius looked confused. “How do you know?”
Oh man. Vince wasn’t sure what the boy knew about the birds and the bees yet. He glanced at Zara for some help. She nodded her encouragement but remained silent. While he appreciated her confidence that he could answer this, he was still nervous as hell.
“Well, we…uh…loved each other and then there was a baby in your mom’s tummy. And that baby was you.”
Zara smiled at his response. Guess he was doing okay then.
But instead of asking more questions, Darius shoved his paper aside, buried his head in Zara’s lap and burst out crying. The sound filled the inside of the truck and tore out Vince’s heart.
He replayed his exact words, trying to figure out what he’d said that made Darius so upset. Was the boy…disappointed?
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Zara bent over him, gently stroking his hair. “Can you tell me?”
Darius shook his head.
“Please, sweetie.”
He mumbled something in her lap.
“I can’t hear you.”
He shifted. “How come he didn’t love me enough to be my dad when I was little? Was I really bad?”
Warrior's Heart: Iron Portal Series (Paranormal Romance) Page 13