by C. J. Thomas
“What’s really going on, Kendra? Because,” her eyes scurried across my bruises, “I’m not buying that those bruises are really what is getting at you.”
Staring into my friend’s eyes, I said, “Kelly and I had the most amazing sex last night.”
“That’s great.”
I felt my bangs swish across my forehead as it shook. “I couldn’t climax.”
Standing, Alex clamped her hands around my arms. “It’s all in the state of mind.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Have you thought about counseling with Kelly?”
My eyes narrowed as I held my breath. She knew. How did she know?
“I know, Kendra. Dr. Hall called me.”
Her white teeth blinded me. “I’m not sure I can go back,” I squeaked like a mouse.
“You need to.” Her hands squeezed. “She will help. Help you both.”
13
Kelly
I wanted to hug Sylvia. Instead, I offered her nothing more than a thinly veiled smile.
Then I left, not sure when we would meet again.
Pushing my fingers through my hair, I wound through the bland halls snaking toward the exit. I felt my pulse slow as I vacantly stared ahead. The bright light filled my vision as I retreated further into my head.
Sylvia had surprised me with her calm reflection. It wasn’t what I’d expected to find. Though I knew our secret about Maria and Mint was safe, it was her optimism that made an impression on me.
The heels of my shoes clacked over the floor in a dancing rhythm.
She was finding her peace—choosing to focus on the bright side of life. Sylvia was coming around, finally understanding that it wasn’t just about her, but me, Wes, Adrianna, and Kendra. Mario, too. All of us. In it together. Acting as one.
An ache lodged in the back of my throat.
I supposed that was what sitting in a cell allowed. Time to reflect on past decisions. Shedding her jealous rage, Sylvia traded it in for empathy. She said all the right things to convince me that our secret was safe and Wes shouldn’t have reason to worry. But there was something she mentioned in passing that I couldn’t escape.
It won’t last.
That was what twisted my insides. I wanted to believe the streets could be cleaner, free from cartels and good people falling to the temptation of profit at the expense of others. Except I knew she was right. Skepticism was a natural response when sifting through the dirt to find answers.
The dull smells lifted to my nose.
Looking around, the sights of this place made me cringe.
Where once I was filled with a burning desire to do good, I now could only see the scum stuck to the floors and walls like chewed gum.
If Sylvia was right about one thing, the system was flawed. I was exhausted. Both from years of working to fight for what I believed was right, as well as seeing how easily outside corruption could bubble its way to the top.
Oscar and Madam had both been denied bail, but they still had a trial to make their argument as to why they should be free. And the more I wanted to let it all go, the more sick and tired I became of this place.
Stiff-arming my way out of the building, I sucked back a fresh gulp of city air.
It was hard to admit, and I didn’t completely understand it myself, but a part of me was questioning if I even wanted to continue down this same career path that had offered me so much.
Sylvia was forced to slow down and reflect. I thought I could benefit from something similar. Start fresh. Begin writing a new story on a blank page.
I dove my hand into my front pants pocket and was about to call Wes when a voice came out of nowhere. “I was told I would find you here.”
I stopped and turned, recognizing the voice immediately. Her bust burst the buttons on her white shirt. The collar was open and a gold necklace wedged between the dark valley of her breasts. She was nearly at eye-level with me when I said, “I’d like to know who is giving away my secrets.”
Angel removed her mirrored aviator lenses and revealed her twinkling eyes.
I didn’t share the same enthusiasm. Surprises didn’t hold the same appeal as they once had. Just like at Tonya’s funeral after Madam kidnapped Kendra, here Angel was again, thinking I didn’t need a heads-up before seeking me out.
“You know it wouldn’t be polite to reveal my source.” Her angles deepened the moment she smiled.
I glance to where I knew my vehicle was parked. Maxwell’s shadowy silhouette watched intently from behind the glare of the windshield. “We shouldn’t be seen together,” I said, turning back to face Angel.
“Because Tonya’s case is still open?”
Her ego swelled like a balloon. “That’s one reason.”
The other reason was because Timothy Parker was still the police’s number one suspect in the murder of Tonya. I knew differently. And so did Angel. But was that the reason she was here?
“Look,” I glanced to my wristwatch, “I don’t have time for this.” I side-stepped and turned my shoulders toward the car.
“I heard the news.”
I stopped, turned my head, and perked an ear.
“You did good, Kelly.”
My heart paused to accept the compliment. One glance to the car and I spun on a heel with my eyebrows pulling together. “So you came here?” Angel’s sharp painted brows raised. “Not a smart move.”
“Word travels fast.” Her tongue smoothed over her front top teeth. “And so does freedom.”
I gave her a questioning stare when I heard my cell phone ding with an incoming message. Without thinking, I turned my palm up and read it.
Wherever I go, men stare.
I did it for you so that you would care.
Come find me now that my pussy is bare.
Bella’s message made me forget Angel. Inside, heat bloomed across my chest as I was hungry with need to devour my girl. Smell her scent. Taste her flavor. I loved her poetic style. Kendra always had a way with words. Straight to the point with a visual that was sure to get my attention.
“I came, Kelly, because your job is far from over.”
Sweeping my eyes off the screen, Angel’s words brought me back to the moment. My insides rolled. Lowering my chin, I stared into her eyes from beneath a heavy brow. “Don’t you think I decide what I work?”
She lifted one paw and pressed her pads into my shoulder. “Stone will be expecting you.”
I watched her hand leave my arm.
“Your girl is free,” Angel said, sliding her lenses back over her eyes. “Now it’s time to repay the favor and do the same for him.”
14
Kendra
I dimmed the lights.
Scented candles flickered, casting their long dark shadows across the floor. I thought long and hard about what Alex had said.
After the initial shock of her knowing my secret to seek help from Dr. Hall, I wanted to believe that I could do this without having to invite Kelly along for the ride. He was a big reason why I’d gone in the first place. He didn’t need to hear what I had to say.
Dipping my hand into my shorts, I grazed my moist folds with the tip of my finger.
Kelly had promised he was on his way home. Nearly an hour ago. I was beginning to lose hope. With my phone in one hand, my other in my pants, I kept opening and closing the text I had sent him.
I would read it and feel my temperature spike. Then I would reread it and grow bothered. The waxing made me feel sexy—feminine—and filled me with the fresh sense that I could trust men’s eyes to lust after me but not take it any further than that.
I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of yellow flowers.
With how tender my bud was, I believed that today was the day I could find the orgasm I sought. I was desperate. Needy. Knowing damn well it had to happen now. Without it, I had no alternative to not having to see Dr. Hall again. The thought of having to spill my guts on her buffed couch was enough to make me want to vomit.
The front door opened.
My hand sprang back with the speed of a coiled snake.
Dropping my feet to the floor, I gripped the back of the couch and peeked over the top.
Kelly, I panted, embarrassing myself.
He was standing tall with an award-winning smirk twitching his lips. Pinching a purple orchid petal between his fingers, our eyes met. His eyes danced with my jades and once my stomach fluttered uncontrollably, I knew I needed him on me—in me—now.
“Well, aren’t you going to come over here?” I mewed like a feline in heat.
His deep chuckle growled back.
When Kelly didn’t make a move, I leaped over the couch and pounced on him. Jumping into his arms, he caught me. Kissing him repeatedly, our tongues touched. Flashes of lightning bolted behind my closed eyes and I warmed to the feel of his buzz.
“What have you done to my apartment?” he asked.
One last scratch of my nails down the center of his chest and I dropped my heels to the floor. Turning to see the mood I’d worked to set, I said, “I wanted to do something special for you.”
His big hand rounded my hips and landed on my ass. Squeezing, he said, “It looks fantastic.”
I pushed myself up on my toes and let him kiss me again. “I hope it’s not too much to relive our first date.”
Kelly’s eyes stared at the unopened bottle of strawberry champagne and fresh fruit plate. “I love it.”
Latching on to his belt, I dragged him across the floor like a predator on prey.
We were putting our lives back together, one broken shard at a time. It was important to make it feel new, fresh, like we had just met. Free from expectation and experience, we were set to dive in headfirst.
“Kendra, wait.” Kelly put on the brakes.
Inside I crashed. Suddenly, the room wasn’t as hot as it had been only a second before. Holding my breath, I lifted my eyes to his, wondering if I should even ask. “What is it?”
The wrinkles in the corners of his eyes unfolded. “Where is my gun?”
Feeling my heart begin to speed, I pressed my tongue into my cheek. “Why? You want to fuck me with it again?”
A bitter smile crossed his face.
“Tell me, Counselor,” I fingered his shirt buttons, “would you like to slide that cold piece of metal between my legs?”
Tightening his grip on my arm, he cut off the circulation to my fingers. Dropping his head forward, he growled, “Is that what you want? For me to spread your legs and push foreign objects into whichever orifice I like?”
Whimpering, I nodded with hopeful doe eyes and latched onto my lip with my teeth. “Uh-huh.”
Taking me by the shoulders, he spun me around and tossed me over the side of the couch.
My head flung over the top and crashed into the soft pillows on the other side.
Kelly silenced my laugh with a strong clamp hold near where my spine met the skull. Kicking my feet wide, my body braced for the punishment it begged to receive.
I felt my nipples sharpen, breaths quicken, and my pussy tighten as Kelly grunted through heavy gasps behind me. He hiked my shorts down past my knees and did the same to my underwear.
“Where is it, Kendra?” he asked again.
Barely lifting my head, I murmured, “Make me come and I’ll tell you.”
I heard his belt buckle jingle behind me as he freed himself. His warm flesh slapped against my ass, teasing my entrance with his swollen crown. Pressing his moist lips between my shoulder blades, he swiped his tongue up each ladder of my neck. Nibbling on my ear, he spread my pussy with his fingers. “This should have been done a long time ago.”
I flung my hair back and lifted my head. “Forgive me. I was kind of busy.”
Tapping my clit with the pad of one finger, Kelly dropped to his knees behind me. Pushing his face between my thighs, I flexed when he began prodding me with his tongue.
The tingle traveled to my toes.
Waves of heat moved up my collar.
I breathed into the sensation working over me.
Taking his hands to the fleshy globes of my ass, Kelly spread them wide and took the point of his tongue to the tight muscle of my anus. Slowly, he moved his tongue around.
Biting my lip, I whimpered.
Standing on weak legs, the insides of my thighs began to shake.
He worked his fingers in my pussy while his tongue lit up my backside.
Fanning the flames, he demanded I not come until told to do so.
“I’m so close,” I cried.
Kelly’s fingers dug deeper. “Don’t you dare.”
The walls of my vagina tightened and wrapped themselves around the familiar electric buzz of orgasm. Flexing my toes, the nails scratched the floor as I gritted and grinded my way closer to the tipping of the axis.
Slamming his cock inside of me, Kelly knocked me back to the ground.
“Fuck,” I screamed with frustration.
Lunging his long strokes deep inside of me, I cursed him. Kelly’s right foot landed on the couch next to my hip. Changing up his angle, I could feel sweat coating his skin as his testicles slapped against my body.
I was there. Had the orgasm within sight.
Then I didn’t.
It was the common theme to what my life had become. It was driving me insane. Nothing worked. And now I knew that I was overthinking something so incredibly simple. It was killing my game and I felt Kelly notice my struggle.
“Come, Bella. Now. Come for me.”
“I can’t,” I gritted my teeth and spat.
“Do it,” he screamed.
“I need to be beat.”
“Like fuck you do.” His cock swelled. He twitched inside of me. And, just like that, it was over.
Left with my head buried in the couch, I couldn’t face him.
“Wes invited us to dinner.” Kelly’s footsteps faded to the back. “We better not be late.”
15
Kelly
Nothing was said.
Kendra was quiet and I was lost staring out my own window.
The tires bumped and howled over the roads as Maxwell captained the vehicle. Hanging on to hope that our silence would eventually be broken, I kept the partition up, allowing us to retain our privacy.
I didn’t know exactly how I could explain my actions. It wasn’t something I completely understood myself. But Kendra asked for what she received. Even if it was harder than I would have wanted to give, apparently it wasn’t hard enough.
I turned and faced her.
Her hair was tied up into a bun on top of her skull. Ornamented with pins and pearls, it took on the appearance of a crown. My queen. Tight curls framed her rose colored cheeks, highlighting her piercing eyes. She looked incredible in her form-fitting dress that wrapped her beautiful body tight. My cock swelled with desire.
Reaching one hand inside my black tux pocket, I retrieved the diamond studded collar and held it out for her to take. Her eyes flitted across each stone as if counting the karats. Then she flicked them up to me.
“For you.” My fingers opened up. “To wear tonight.”
Swallowing, she was slow to take it.
I watched her thumb brush over the cut stones before spreading it wide. Leaning across the seat, I assisted her with the buckle. Closing it around her thin neck, I felt my heart speed up. Shutting my eyes, I pressed my lips to her cheek.
Kendra leaned into my mouth and made a soft approving sound.
We nudged against each other, brushing our cheeks with fingers threading in our laps. I pulled back with a sense of irony plaguing my thoughts. Here I was asking her to wear my mark of ownership in order for us to go to a club that promoted the exact sexual desires she was asking me to perform, but couldn’t.
“Perfection,” I murmured.
She held my stare. It was a look of wanting more but not knowing how to ask. A void in the darkness all because of my inadequacy. I wanted to take it to the extreme but knew I couldn’t. I
t didn’t feel right. Didn’t feel like myself. It was like being impotent. I was still able to get hard but had lost a part of me that I’d once found irresistible.
I felt the vehicle slow. One quick glance out the window and I knew we were a minute away from arriving. The clock told me we were right on time.
Kendra reached for my hand. The knowing glimmer still in her eye.
I could tell she knew something was up, something wasn’t right. Without having to say it, we could both feel the fractured part of our relationship. The underlying tension it was creating.
“We’ll get through this,” I said.
Nodding, she flashed me a weak smile. “You don’t have to be afraid, Kelly.”
All the air in my lungs escaped when suddenly it felt like my ribs collapsed. Pinching my brows, I tilted my head to the side. I wasn’t afraid. I was terrified. Frightened I would be the reason she had another trigger. “I’m not,” I lied.
Her watery gaze softened as she draped her hand over mine. “Then why won’t you open your closet for me?”
My tongue wet my lips. “We don’t need it.”
Her jades cast downward. After a moment of reflection, they were back on me. “Maybe we should take some time away. Go somewhere. The mountains. An island. Hell, Europe or just the east coast.”
Touching her fingertips with mine, I said, “It will still be waiting for us when we return.”
“But we’ll have that time to refresh and escape.”
Maxwell knocked on my window, ready to open my door. “Let’s talk about it later.”
Her hands went limp as she sighed.
We entered Mint holding hands. Kendra was glued to my side, our eyes hidden behind masquerade masks. Our steps were small as we both allowed our senses to take it all in. Change was the only constant. When we should have been light on our heels and excited for a night shared with friends, it was clear our heads were someplace else.