by Linda Warren
“Oh.”
As color stained her cheeks, he wished he could take the words back. He didn’t even know why he’d said such a thing. Maybe he’d been subconsciously thinking it, or maybe the sight of her sitting in the middle of the bed looking like a photograph in a Victoria Secret’s catalog triggered the thought. Whatever, he had to ease the awkwardness he’d just created with those casually spoken words.
“Don’t worry, Serena. I’m forty-three, way too old to be tempted by a woman who’s twelve years younger than I am.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How do you know my age?”
“I did a background check.”
At her startled expression, he added, “I do that with every case. I don’t like surprises.”
She barely heard what he said. She was still focused on his earlier remarks. Ethan was as straitlaced as they came, and if he’d shown any signs of wanting to share a bed, they’d completely escaped her.
He raised an eyebrow. “Having second thoughts about last night?”
“No.” She shook her head, feeling a little out of her element as new emotions surged forth. “It’s just…” she hesitated.
“Just a little uncomfortable in the light of day.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” she insisted. “Last night I knew I was doing the right thing. But now…I’m wondering what you must think of me. It’s not my practice to ask to stay in a man’s motel room or to offer him a massage.”
She brushed her hair over her shoulder and he watched as if mesmerized. “I think you’re a headstrong, determined woman with a caring, impulsive nature.” He paused and jammed his foot into the other boot. “That’s all.”
They stared at each other for an endless second, then she rushed into speech to dispel the tension that suddenly enveloped them. “Your hip must be better. You put your boots on without a problem.”
“Yeah.” He stood. “I may have to look you up from time to time to get a massage. You have a magic touch.”
“It’s a deal.”
Their eyes locked again, and something passed between them that neither was willing to fully accept. Ethan was the first to look away. He reached for his hat.
“Are you going somewhere?” she asked.
“Yes, to get coffee.”
She pointed to a small coffeepot on a table. “There’s coffee here.”
“It only makes two cups. I need more and some food to go with it. I’m going across the street. I’ll be back in a minute.” He disappeared out the door.
SERENA SQUEEZED the pillow more tightly. She’d said they were adults and could handle the situation. What had happened to that logic? Bridget, her massage therapist friend, had told her that in order to give a good massage she’d have to acquaint herself with the subject’s body by touch. Without even realizing it, she’d done that last night with Ethan. Her fingertips could still feel the hard texture of his muscles. From touching his body, she’d learned he was strong, active and very proud. But massages had nothing to do with why she was here, she thought in sudden panic. She shouldn’t have any interest in him beyond the job she’d hired him to do. And after Ethan found the stripper, she’d never see him again—but she’d always remember this interlude in a motel room and the things he’d told her. He was a good man and a kind one, and she couldn’t help responding to that.
She noticed the clock and saw it was past nine. She picked up the phone and called home, since Gran would be up by now.
“Hi, Gran,” she said as her grandmother answered.
“Serena, darling, are you having a good time?”
Serena was thrown for a second. She’d told her grandmother she had to go to Dallas on business. It seemed as if Gran thought she was doing something else. Before she could think of a suitable reply, Gran added, “I probably let the cat out of the bag, but I’m so happy you and Brad are trying to work on your relationship. A weekend together is what you both need.”
Serena frowned. “Gran, what are you talking about?”
“I saw Brad’s mother yesterday and she said Brad was in Dallas. I’m not a rocket scientist, but I can put two and two together.”
“I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not here with Brad.”
“If you want to keep it a secret, then—”
“I’m not here with Brad, Gran, and I’m not lying or trying to keep it a secret.”
“Oh.” Her grandmother’s voice was puzzled. “Then what are you doing there?”
“I’m here on business.” She crossed her fingers behind her back. “I’ll be home sometime today, so don’t worry.”
“Okay, darling,” Gran replied. “Drive carefully.”
As she hung up, Ethan came back in with two brown paper bags. He set them on the nightstand and removed a large container of coffee, which he handed to her, along with a napkin and two doughnuts.
“Thank you,” she said as she took them. The container had to hold at least four cups. “When you drink coffee, you mean business.”
“Yeah,” he answered as he sat and sipped on his. “It gives me a jumpstart in the mornings. There’s cream and sugar if you want it.”
“Thanks.” She rummaged in the bag until she found the cream. She opened two of the tiny creamers and dumped the contents in her coffee. As she sipped, she studied the doughnuts on the napkin.
She looked up and saw that Ethan had finished one and was starting on his second. She ran her finger across the sugary icing and tasted it. Doughnuts were her one food weakness. The café where she got a muffin and juice before work received them fresh every morning, the smell alone was a test to her willpower. Daisy tempted her all the time, but Serena didn’t indulge her weakness too often. She was becoming more conscious of health issues as she grew older, and doughnuts, unfortunately, were nothing but fat, sugar and refined flour.
Ethan eyed her for a moment. “Are you gonna play with it or eat it?”
She met his gaze. “That depends.”
“On what?”
“Whether my willpower or my appetite wins.”
Ethan shook his head, finished off his doughnut and peered at her over the rim of his coffee. “I’d say you were a natural beauty, and if you’re worried about your weight or your looks, then you’re wasting your time.”
Despite herself, she smiled. It never hurt to hear a man say that, and she had to admit his flattery warmed her.
“Eat the doughnut, Serena. You need a sugar boost.”
She nodded and took a big bite, and watched him smile.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Mmm” was all that came out of her mouth.
He continued to watch her as she ate the doughnut, then licked her fingers with a sensuality that was better than the doughnuts he’d just had.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I guess I have to justify eating one of those.”
He shook his head again.
“What?” she asked.
“Women. I’ll never understand them.”
Her tone was thoughtful as she said, “We’re like a puzzle with many different parts, but most of us have a central theme—love, family and happiness. If a man’s lucky, he can put the pieces together without a problem, but the majority don’t have a clue.”
“You’re right about that,” he said. “A woman is definitely a puzzle and I’m not sure any man’s ever figured one out.”
Serena laughed and leaned back against the headboard, hardly able to believe she was sitting in a motel room with this wonderful man and talking nonsense…happy nonsense.
A comfortable silence stretched between them and any awkwardness that had been there earlier was completely gone. Ethan relaxed and finished drinking his coffee.
“Ethan?”
“Uh-huh?”
“What happened to your wife?”
When he didn’t respond, she wanted to take the words back—and yet, she wanted to know all she could about him.
Slowly his words came. “Beth remarried—he’s a minister—and now has t
wo children. They live in Arizona.”
“Then you still hear from her?”
“Occasionally. We once shared someone special and it’s hard to let go of that bond.”
There was probably more to it than that on Beth’s part, Serena thought. It was probably equally hard to let go of Ethan. She lifted her head. “You said you lost yourself in a bottle. Were you an alcoholic?”
He stood, crushed the cup in his hand and threw it in the trash. “You ask a lot of questions.”
“I’m curious about you,” she said openly. “You don’t seem like the type of person, if there is one, to become an alcoholic.”
“We all have our dark sides,” he muttered. “I’m not an alcoholic, but I was on the verge of becoming one.”
She took a quick breath and dove in. “So what made you stop drinking?”
His eyes met hers with a chilling look, and she braced herself for a sharp retort. Instead, he sat down, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. “My family came to be with us during that terrible time. After the funeral I told them they didn’t have to stay, that Beth and I were fine, although we weren’t. She wanted to talk but I couldn’t. So she talked to a minister and I found if I drank enough, I could forget completely. Travis, my brother, stayed on and tried to talk sense into me, but I wasn’t hearing anything back then.”
He swallowed and she waited, almost afraid to breathe in case he stopped talking. “I guess it was about six weeks later that I woke up one morning in my truck—which had veered sideways into a ditch. I didn’t know where I was or where I was going. All I could think was that I could’ve killed someone. I wasn’t worried about myself. At that point, death was preferable to the living hell. As the sun broke through the clouds, it all came down on me and I cried and cried. Up until that moment I hadn’t shed a tear.” He paused. “I’ve been a lawman, sworn to uphold the law and help others, for most of my life. If you’re a good lawman, you live by a certain code of ethics. I realized I was breaking every oath I’d ever taken. I was driving drunk, endangering lives, instead of saving them. That wasn’t a very good memorial to my son. I stopped drinking that day, cleaned up my act and went back to work. Unfortunately, Beth and I couldn’t recapture what we once had. We’d both been hurt too badly.”
“Oh, Ethan, I am so sorry.” All she wanted to do was comfort him. “Thanks for telling me,” she whispered, moved by his trust in her.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Any more questions?”
She shook her head. Every emotion, except her compassion for Ethan Ramsey, was blocked out.
Ethan felt ten pounds lighter, and he knew an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He’d carried it around for a long time, and he’d never intended to share his burden with anyone. But here he was, talking to this woman, pouring out his heart. He wasn’t sure why talking to Serena was so easy. He’d never told a living soul why he’d stopped drinking. Molly, Travis and Pop had all tried to get him to talk, but he couldn’t share that part of himself. So why was it so easy with her?
He stood. “I’ve got work to do and you should go back to Fort Worth.”
She pleated a seam in the pillowcase, gaining courage. “I could stay and go with you.” The more time she spent with Ethan, the more she wanted to stay with him—to be there when he found the stripper.
“No,” he said emphatically. “I told you before, I work alone.”
She stared at him. “Please, Ethan. I want to see her.”
Her face was an enchanting picture framed by her burnished-copper hair, but it was the distressed look in her eyes that got to him. “I’ll ask her.” That was the most he could guarantee.
“Why can’t I just go with you?” she asked boldly. “I promise to be cooperative.”
That conjured up all kinds of images in his head, which he quickly stopped. She had a way of getting around him, and he had to put a stop to that, too. “You can be cooperative by doing as I ask and going home. I let you stay last night only because it was late. Don’t read more into it than that.”
She frowned. “Like what?”
“Like I’m a pushover for a pretty face.”
“Where would I get that idea?” she snapped sarcastically, trying to control her temper.
He ignored her words and picked up his hat, setting it on his head. “I’ll call when I have some news.”
“Ethan,” she said before he walked out. “I’m not trying to be difficult, but I have to see her.”
“I know,” he said, not looking at her. “Let me do my job first and then we’ll take it from there.”
“Okay,” she replied unenthusiastically.
He glanced back at her. “And no more surprise visits. Understand?”
She bit her tongue. She couldn’t promise that, and she was glad when he didn’t seem to expect a response.
“I’ll find her, Serena,” he added more softly. “But don’t expect too much.”
“I don’t,” she assured him. “All I expect is the truth.”
CHAPTER SIX
OUTSIDE THE ROOM Ethan paused for a moment. This situation had the potential to get out of control. He’d been around beautiful women before, but for some reason, Serena affected him more strongly than most. He could control it, though. And he would.
He drove straight to Travis’s apartment. He had to talk to Molly, then he planned to visit his police friend before paying the strip club another visit. Considering her late night, he hoped Molly was up.
Ethan was taken aback for a second when Molly opened the door fully dressed and ready to go out. “I thought you might be sleeping in,” he said as he stepped inside. The apartment was immaculate—very different from the last time he’d been here.
“I have a date.” She smiled brightly.
Ethan was hoping she’d met someone besides Rudy Boyd, but her next words dispelled that. “Rudy’s taking me to his place for lunch.”
Ethan removed his hat and sat on the sofa. “What do you know about Rudy Boyd?”
Molly frowned. “Don’t start, Ethan. Rudy is nice to me and he makes me feel like an attractive woman.”
He nodded, gesturing at her outfit. “Is that the reason for the new look?” She wore a short white skirt and a yellow tank top with a yellow sweater tied around her neck. Her hair was in its windswept style. She looked attractive and happy, and he hated the feelings he had about Boyd.
“Yes.” She twirled around and held out her arms. “What do you think?”
“You look wonderful.”
“I feel wonderful.” Her face dimmed a little. “So please pull in your FBI antennae and let me have some fun.” She shrugged. “I mean, there’s no way Rudy could be a bigger creep than Bruce.”
“That’s just it, sis. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
She sank down beside him. “I’m just having fun—fun that’s way overdue.” She paused. “Have you talked to Pop?”
“I talked to him last night. They’re fine.”
“I know. I talked to Cole this morning. He’s so involved with his girlfriend I don’t think he even misses me. I’m afraid he might do something stupid.”
“Like what?”
“Like get her pregnant.”
Ethan raised an eyebrow. “You think that’s a possibility?”
“He’s seventeen, Ethan. Of course it’s a possibility. Don’t you remember what it was like to be that age?”
He thought about Serena back in his motel room and all the feelings she brought to life in him. “Vaguely.” He grinned.
“I don’t want Cole to be caught in the trap that Bruce and I were. I want him to have a better life.”
Then you need to be at home guiding him with a mother’s wisdom, instead of trying to recapture your own youth.
The words hovered on his tongue, but he wouldn’t say them. They’d only hurt her and he refused to do that. But he wished he had a magic formula to turn her life around—one that didn’t involve Boyd.
“Cole has
a good head on his shoulders,” was all he said.
She stood up and retrieved her purse from a chair. “He said he’s talked to Bruce a couple of times. I think he just wanted to get my reaction. You’d be very proud of me, Ethan. I told him that was great and he seemed relieved.”
“I’m sure he was,” Ethan commented, knowing that Cole was deeply loyal to his mother, yet loved his father, too.
Rummaging in her big bag, she pulled out a tube of lipstick and stared at Ethan. “You seem different today.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. You don’t have that tenseness around your eyes.”
It was massaged away by a beautiful redhead.
“I’m sorry if I upset you by mentioning Ryan last night, but it’s okay to talk about him, Ethan. It might even be good for you.”
He rubbed his hands together. “I know you believe I haven’t come to terms with his death, but I have, as much as possible.”
Her eyes opened wide.
“What?”
“You’ve never said that before.”
“What?”
“That Ryan is dead.”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to admit it for a long time and you’re right, it’s okay to talk about him. But frankly, I’d rather not. It’s too painful.”
She leaned over and hugged him. “Oh, Ethan. I’m so sorry.”
“I know.”
Straightening, she said, “No more maudlin thoughts,” and applied lipstick to her already red lips.
“Too much makeup?” she asked.
Yes.
“It’s more than you normally wear, but if you like it…”
“I do,” she replied pulling at the short skirt. “Is my skirt too tight?”
Yes.
“How does it feel to you?”
“Sexy.”
Ethan swallowed. “Then it’s fine.”
She smiled. “You don’t lie very well, but I love you for trying. Now I’ve got to run.”
“Isn’t Boyd picking you up?” Ethan followed her to the door.
“No, I’m taking a taxi to his place, then he’s bringing me home after lunch.” She waved. “See you later.”