by Linda Warren
“My life may be a little crazy right now and I may not have known you long, but I’m very certain that you’d never intentionally hurt me. We’re two consenting adults and I like you. I like you a lot.” She paused. “Please let me stay here.”
“There aren’t any vacancies,” he murmured and watched her eyes light up. In that instant he accepted the fact that he was fighting a losing battle. He hadn’t even kissed her, but he wanted her in a way he hadn’t wanted anyone in so many years that he’d almost forgotten the feeling.
“I’d rather not sleep on the sofa,” she informed him with the same honesty. He recognized the risk she’d taken in revealing her attraction, knew that being truthful in these situations was always a risk. She was willing to admit that she was on emotional overload, but it didn’t deter her. It only made her feelings that much stronger.
“Last night I was in pain and things were different. Tonight…” His voice drifted off as he stared into her eyes.
“Tonight will be different, too.”
“Time for my shower,” he said, and got to his feet, not quite able to accept what he was seeing in her eyes.
“Wait!” she called, and scrambled off the bed. “There’s a hair dryer in the bathroom. I need it.” She retrieved the dryer and then Ethan disappeared into the bathroom.
Serena quickly removed the bedspread, folded it and laid it on the sofa, smiling all the while. She plugged in the dryer and began to dry her hair. Was she crazy? If so, it was the best craziness she’d ever felt. She’d never been this honest before, this…brazen. She was the one always saying no, claiming she needed more time, but with Ethan it was easy. No indecision. No doubting thoughts. She knew what she wanted—Ethan. That shocked her a bit, but it didn’t change her mind. She’d known girls who’d slept with guys after one date. She’d never understood that, but now she was seeing things quite differently. She had no idea what tomorrow would bring—a mother? A sister? Heartache? Pain? But tonight would be hers and Ethan’s, and she’d be refreshed to cope with the unknown.
Ethan showered and tried to keep his mind a blank, but he couldn’t. The situation was emotionally volatile and he’d been in volatile situations before, but not like this, not where his pride was involved. He had to allow himself to admit what was really bothering him, what he’d pushed to the farthest corner of his mind. He thrust his face under the cold water and let it spray down his body, cooling the turmoil inside him. He hadn’t had sex since he was shot five years ago. It wasn’t a conscious decision; it had just turned out that way. He didn’t know if his pride could take it if a woman was turned off by his hip injury. And he didn’t even know if he could perform…. He was suddenly overcome by doubt.
Maybe he was blowing this out of proportion, he told himself. Maybe he was seeing things in Serena’s eyes that weren’t really there. But he knew he wasn’t. He felt a surge of confidence—and hope. Here he was in a motel room with the sexiest redhead he’d ever seen in his life, and his body was telling him he was ready to experience the part of his nature he’d been denying—his passionate side.
He quickly dried and slipped into clean underwear. He didn’t have a robe or pajamas, so this was it. The sound of a hair dryer filled his ears as he opened the door, and he saw Serena bent over, her hair falling over her face to the floor as she dried it. He stared at her a moment before he slipped between the sheets. Leaning against the headboard, he watched her.
She straightened and slung her hair back. Her movements were more sensual, more real and much more arousing to him than the stripper’s. Watching the other woman, he’d felt pity because he sensed she was stripping against her will. But with Serena he felt all male, with a male’s needs, and he—
“Oh, you’re out of the bathroom,” she said when she noticed him. She flipped off the dryer. “That’s as dry as it’s gonna get. Want me to turn off the light?”
“Sure,” he replied.
The room was plunged into darkness and he felt the bed move as she crept in.
He turned away from her, his confidence fading. “Good night.” As much as he wanted her, he couldn’t do it. He remembered last night and how her fingers had paused over the scar that ran along his hip. He’d been half-drugged, but he knew she was shocked and he didn’t want to know any more than that. It was better to leave things the way they were.
“Ethan.”
“Go to sleep, Serena.”
He had his back to her and it felt as though he’d erected a wall to shut her out. Why? Because he was an honorable man. She already knew that. It was one of the things she loved about— Wait! She couldn’t fall in love that quickly. Her emotions were just bruised and sensitive and she needed someone—and Ethan was here with his great big heart and… All of Ethan’s good qualities ran through her mind and she realized that in a short amount of time he’d come to mean a lot to her. That was why she found it was so easy to be herself with him.
Damn, Ethan cursed as he turned onto his back. His hip was throbbing from lying on his right side. He moved his legs to get more comfortable.
Serena sat up. “Does your hip hurt?”
“No,” he lied.
“You’re lying,” she said.
“Go to sleep, Serena,” he muttered again.
“No. If you’re hurting, I can help.” She knelt beside him, prepared to begin massaging his injured hip.
“Don’t touch me.” The words were fierce.
She sat back on her heels. What was wrong with him? Was he just in pain? No, it was more than that—he really didn’t want her to touch him. Why? He sounded almost afraid, but what could he possibly be afraid of? There was only one way to find out.
“Why are you afraid to let me touch you?” she asked point-blank.
Ethan tensed. “Go to sleep,” was all he said.
“No,” she replied. “Stop saying that.”
“Earlier you said you’d do as I asked. I’m asking you to go to sleep.”
“That was while we were in the club, not here in this room, alone.”
He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t.
“You’ve been keeping a barrier between us since we met. At first I thought you weren’t attracted to me, but I know that’s not true. So what is it?”
“Why do you have to keep pushing?” His voice was low and rough.
“Because something besides your hip is hurting you.” She couldn’t have said how she knew that, but she did. “And I want to help,” she added quietly.
Ethan swallowed the lump in his throat, and his pride wavered on a line that didn’t make a lot of sense. It had before, but not now—not with Serena and her softness all around him.
“Ethan…”
“You can help me by going to sleep.”
“Ethan…”
“If you touch me tonight, we’ll…”
“Make love,” she finished for him. She already knew that and accepted it with an excitement that astonished her. When he didn’t say anything, she murmured, “I’m well aware of that, so you’re not taking advantage of me.”
“Serena, you don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t, but—”
“I haven’t had sex since I was shot in the hip.” The words tumbled out and mingled with the darkness. The silence stretched as taut as his nerves, but at least now maybe she’d stop torturing him.
Serena was shocked, not by what he’d said but by the agony in his voice. Oh, God, she’d never dreamed of anything like this. He was so virile, so strong. Now it was clear why he’d placed a barrier between them. Probably between himself and all women. Oh, Ethan. All she wanted was to help him, and to do that she needed more information.
She licked her dry lips. “Is it that you physically can’t or is it something else?”
She felt the answering silence all the way to her heart, and she didn’t know where she got the courage to ask such a question. Maybe it was these newly discovered feelings she had for him. It didn’t matter, though, because she wasn’t g
iving up.
“I can,” he said at last, “but I just haven’t.”
Relief tiptoed through her. “Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
But she did…very much. She ran both hands through her hair and tried to figure out the situation. Why hadn’t he had sex? she asked herself. It had to be his pride. She was becoming well acquainted with that pride of his. He didn’t feel like the man he once was and he didn’t want to be reminded of that in the bedroom. She remembered the jagged feel of the scar and the indentation in his flesh where the bullet must have entered. He didn’t want a woman to see that because he didn’t know how she’d react.
“Men can be stupid sometimes,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
“You haven’t had sex because you’re scared a woman might be repulsed by your injury. Give women some credit! Most of us aren’t heartless.”
“When you touched my scar last night, you went still, as if it took you a moment to get used to what you were feeling. I was half out of it, but I remember that.”
She took a breath. “When I touched your scar, all I could think about was the pain and suffering you must have endured. You have such an aura of strength I never realized you were injured that badly.”
Her words were soothing, comforting—but what had he expected her to say? He shook his head. He had to stop being negative; he had to trust what he was feeling inside. He had to trust Serena. He’d trusted her when it had seemed she might be lying to him, and his instincts had been confirmed. Now could he—
“I’m not repulsed by your injury.”
Silence. Stubborn male silence.
“Okay, I’ll prove it,” she said. “Turn over and take off your underwear.” As she spoke, she left the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“To get lotion,” she answered. “I’m going to give you the massage of your life—and you’re not falling asleep.”
“Serena.”
“Do it, Ethan.”
Without a second thought, he pulled off his underwear and rolled onto his stomach. He was tired of resisting, tired of fighting something he wanted with all his heart—and body. He didn’t know where this would end, but he was ready to experience it…with Serena.
The bed dipped as she climbed back on. “This lotion will be cold, so I’ll warm it up in my hands,” she said as she squeezed some into her palm.
“What’s that smell?” he asked.
“It’s the lotion—lavender-scented.”
“Ah, Serena, I don’t want to smell like that.”
“What do you want to smell like? Wood? Leather? Spice?”
“I’d rather not smell at all.”
“Well, tonight it’s lavender and rosemary,” she said, resisting the urge to laugh. The humor had relieved some of the tension—but not all of it.
She rubbed the lotion in her hands, trying to think of a way to make him relax, to make him understand that she wasn’t doing this out of pity or anything but the way she felt about him.
“Isn’t there a country song about needing help to make it through the night?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the way I’m looking at tonight. I’m not certain what tomorrow will bring, but I want this night for you…and me.”
God, he did, too. Even he had to smell like lavender.
She pulled the sheet away and touched his back with her warm hands. He didn’t tense and she began to stroke his firm flesh. Her hands, silky smooth from the lotion, slid over his back, buttocks and to his scar. She’d never seduced a man before, but tonight she was giving it all she had. Her senses were supercharged from touching him, and she knew she had to do more.
She turned on the lamp.
He raised his head slightly. “Why’d you do that?” His eyes were glazed with passion.
“Because I want to see you and I want you to see me.” She bent her head and rained kisses down his back to his hipbone, to his scar.
Her hair brushed erotically against his skin. Ethan thought he’d died and gone to heaven, and Serena was surely the paradise he’d always heard about. His body was hard and ready, and he didn’t know how much longer he could wait to experience her. Her lips trailed to his waist and he reached out his arm and pulled her up to him.
“Serena,” he murmured hoarsely, their breaths mingling. His tongue stroked her lower lip and he groaned as he took her lips in gentle, aching need.
Serena moaned and opened her mouth, giving herself up to Ethan. Her arms locked around his neck and he gathered her close, so close she felt every throbbing muscle. He definitely didn’t have a physical problem.
Their tongues played, tasted, explored with excited haste until they were both trembling from the explosion of their senses.
Finally he rested his face against hers. “Ah, Serena,” he muttered. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
“Me, too,” she whispered, and caught her breath as his hand slid from her throat to her breast.
“One of us has too many clothes on,” he said as he unfastened the buttons on her shirt one by one. Slowly he eased the shirt from her shoulders, then cupped her breasts and stroked until a purring sound left her throat. She’d never felt like this before, wanting only to please and be pleased. All that mattered now were these emotions, these unequaled sensations….
His tongue and mouth toyed with each nipple, then moved to her navel and below. Her panties were gone with one easy movement, and his lips and fingers tantalized until her body quivered with a need that had her reaching for him.
She caressed his chest—and lower—with eager movements, wanting to feel every part of him. When her hand touched him, he caught it and held it tightly, gazing into her desire-filled eyes. She understood that look. He wanted to take it slow. His lips were on hers again, and for a moment they enjoyed the feel of skin against skin, their hearts beating in unison to a tempo they both recognized.
Serena knew they were close to an ultimate conclusion, and she had to ask something before all conscious thought left her. “Ethan, this won’t hurt your hip, will it?”
“Let’s find out,” he whispered.
CHAPTER NINE
A LONG TIME LATER, their sweat-bathed bodies lay entwined. Serena’s leg rested between his, and her body was half on him and half off. He cradled her head on his chest, one hand beneath her hair, his other resting lightly against her arm.
Serena felt as if she’d been to the moon on a rocketship and it was the best experience of her life—everything she’d wanted it to be and more. Maybe it was because Ethan was so gentle, so caring that her body responded with such intensity. Whatever it was, she wanted to hang on to it as long as she could. A lifetime sounded about right. In a matter of two days, she had fallen madly in love, to the point that it was difficult to even think about her problems.
With Brad it had been different. They’d met at school and she hadn’t particularly liked him at first. She’d thought he was too self-absorbed, but she’d grown to like him, then love him. It was months, though, before she’d slept with him—as if she’d had to work herself up to it. With Ethan, she didn’t have to think about anything. It was all emotion and it came from her heart.
She had wanted to make this night special for him, but she was ashamed to admit that she’d totally forgotten about his hip as his hands and lips touched her in places that were meant just for him. All reason had abandoned her and she simply acted on her feelings. She knew it was the same for Ethan. If he had a problem with his hip, he’d forgotten about it, too, as stronger, more powerful dictates took over.
“Ethan…” she said as she lazily drew circles on his chest with one finger.
“Mmm?” Ethan was floating among the clouds without a parachute, without a thing except the feelings Serena brought to life in him. And he didn’t want to come down. It was a wild, dizzying sensation and he’d missed it. He hadn’t realized that until now—until Serena touched him. He’d forgotten abo
ut his hip, forgotten both his pain and his self-consciousness. He couldn’t believe that. It was so constantly on his mind, but his scars didn’t matter to her and suddenly they didn’t matter to him. Everything else came naturally and he felt as if this was the first time for him, felt as if his body had experienced something he wanted to do over and over again—but only with Serena. Now she had to make love to him for the rest of his life. Damn! Where did that come from? He hadn’t thought beyond tonight, but now… His feelings for her were deeper than anything he’d ever imagined, and not merely sexual. How that had happened he wasn’t sure—and he wasn’t sure where they went from here.
“Was it…okay?” she finally asked.
He smiled and rubbed her arm. “Better than okay. Better than anything I ever remember.”
“Really? Then your hip wasn’t a problem. It was all in your mind.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For understanding and for breaking through my defenses until you gave me no choice.”
She raised her head and grinned sleepily. “Are you saying I seduced you?”
“Very nicely, too.” He kissed her softly.
She snuggled against him. “I can’t believe you waited this long.”
“I never found anyone I cared enough about.”
She raised her head again. “Until now?”
“Until now.” His eyes were dark with passion and something else she longed to name. Was it love or was she simply seeing what she wanted to?
The ringing of the phone broke the moment. Ethan reached for it. “Hello,” he mumbled. “Damn.” Then, “Okay, I’ll be in touch tomorrow.”
“The police?” she asked.
“Yes, Daniel and his guys went to the club, but they didn’t find the redhead. Anthony Carzoni, the manager, said he didn’t know who she was or where she lived. She comes in and strips when she wants to make money, and since she’s so popular he lets her.”