"But they took it from you!"
The major chuckled again. "That's just what they
didn't do! You see, I wrote out a spoof copy, and before
joining you here tonight, I put the real thing in a letter I
was sending to my tailor and posted it. They've got the
spoof copy--and I wish them joy of it! Do you know
what we'll do, sweetheart? We'll go to East Africa for
our honeymoon and hunt out the cache."
THI CASE OF THE DISCONTENTED SOLDIER
3
Mr. Parker Pyne left his office and climbed tw
flights of stairs. Here in a room at the top of the hous
sat Mrs. Oliver, the sensational novelist, now a membe
of Mr, Pyne's staff.
-
Mr..Parker Pyne tapped at the door and entere
Mrs. Oliver sat at a table on which were a typewriter
several notebooks, a general confusion of loose manu
scripts and a large bag of apples.
"A very good story, Mrs. Oliver," said Mr. Parke
Pyne genially.
"It went off well?" said Mrs. Oliver. "I'm glad."
"That water-in-the-cellar business," said Mr. Parke.
Pyne. "You don't think, on a future occasion, tha
something more original--perhaps?" He made the sug
gestion with proper diffidence.
Mrs. Oliver shook her head and took an apple fron
the bag. "I think not Mr. Pyne. You see, people ar
used to reading about such things. Water rising in
cellar, poison gas, et cetera. Knowing about it before
hand gives it an extra thrill when it happens to oneself
The public is conservative, Mr. Pyne; it likes the ok
well-worn gadgets."
"Well, you should know," admitted Mr. Parke
Pyne, mindful of the authoress' forty-six successfu
works of fiction, all best sellers in England and Amer.
ica, and freely translated into French, German, Italian
Hungarian, Finnish, Japanese and Abyssinian. "How
about expenses?"
Mrs. Oliver drew a paper towards her. "Ver,.
moderate, on the whole. The two Negroes, Percy ant
Jerry, wanted very little. Young Lorrimer, the actor,
was willing to enact the part of Mr. Reid for fiv{
guineas. The cellar speech was a phonograph record, of
course."
36
Agatha Christie
"Whitefriars has been extremely useful to me," said
Mr. Pyne. "I bought it for a song and it has already
been the scene of eleven exciting dramas."
"Oh, I forgot," said Mrs. Oliver. "Johnny's wages.
Five shillings."
"Johnny?"
"Yes. The boy who poured the water from the watering
cans through the hole in the wall."
"Ah, yes. By the way, Mrs. Oliver how did you happen
to know Swahili?" '
"I didn't."
"I see. The British Museum, perhaps?"
"No. Delfridge's Information Bureau."
"How marvelous are the resources of modern commerce!''
he murmured.
"The only thing that worries me," said Mrs. Oliver,
"is that those two young people won't find any cache
when they get there."
"One cannot have everything in this world," said Mr.
Parker Pyne. "They will have had a honeymoon."
Mrs. Wilbraham was sitting in a deck chair. Her husband
was writing a letter. "What's the date, Freda?"
"The sixteenth."
"The sixteenth. By Jove!"
"What is it, dear?"
"Nothing. I just remembered a chap named Jones."
However happily married, there are some things one
never tells.
"Dash it all," thought Major Wilbraham, "I ought
to have called at that place and got my money back."
And then, being a fair-minded man, he looked at the
other side of the question. "After all, it was I who broke
the bargain. I suppose if I'd gone to see Jones something
would have happened. And anyway, as it turns
THE CASE OF THE DISCONTENTED SOLDIER
out, if I hadn't been going to see Jones, I should ne
have heard Freda cry for help, and we might never h
met. So, indirectly, perhaps they have a right to t
fifty pounds!"
Mrs. Wilbraham was also following out a train
thought. "What a silly little fool I was to believe in
advertisement and pay those people three guineas.
course, they never did anything for it and nothing e
happened. If I'd only known what was coming--f
Mr. Reid, and then the queer, romantic way t
Charlie came into my life. And to think that but
pure chance I might never have met him!"
She turned and smiled adoringly at her husband.
qTie Case of
tt e ' Distressed Lady
The buzzer on Mr. Parker Pyne's desk purred dis-creetly.
"Yes?" said the great man.
"A young lady wishes to see you," announced his
secretary. "She has no appointment."
"You may send her in, Miss Lemon." A moment
later he was shaging hands with his visitor. "Good
morning," he said. "Do sit down."
The girl sat dow and looked at Mr. Parker Pyne. She
was a pretty girl arid quite young. Her hair was dark and
wavy with a row of curls at the nape of the neck. She
was beautifully turned out from the white knitted cap
on her head to the cobweb stockings and dainty shoes.
Clearly she was nerVOUs.
"You are Mr. parker Pyne?" she asked.
"I am."
"The one whowho--advertises?"
"The one who advertises."
"You say that if people aren't--aren't happy--to--to
come to you."
"Yes."
38
THE CASE OF THE DISTRESSED LADY
39
She took the plunge. "Well, I'm frightfully unhappy.
So I thought I'd come along and just--and just see."
Mr. Parker Pyne waited. He felt there was more to
come.
"I--I'm in frightful trouble." She clenched her hands
nervously.
"So I see," said Mr. Parker Pyne. "Do you think you
could tell me about it7"
That, it seemed, was what the girl was by no means
sure of. She stared at Mr. Parker Pyne with a desperate
intentness. Suddenly she spoke with a rush.
"Yes, I will tell you.--I've made up my mind now.
I've been nearly crazy with worry. I didn't know what to
do or whom to go to. And then I saw your advertisement.
I thought it was probably just a ramp, but it
stayed in my mind. It sounded so comforting, somehow.
And then I thought--well, it would do no harm to
come and see. I could always make an excuse and get
away again if I didn't--well, if didn't--"
"Quite so; quite so," said Mr. Pyne.
"You see," said the girl, "it means--well, trusting somebody."
"And you feel you can trust me?" he said, smiling.
"It's odd," said the girl with unconscious rudeness,
"but I do. Without knowing anything about you! I'm sure I can trust you."
"I can assure you," said Mr. Pyne, "that your trust
will not be misplaced."
"Then," said the girl, "I'll tell you about it. My
name is Daphne St. John."
"Yes, Miss St. J
ohn."
"Mrs. I'mmI'm married."
"Pshaw!'"muttered Mr. Pyne, annoyed with himself
as he noted the platinum circlet on the third finger of
her heft hand. "Stupid of me."
40
Agatha Christie
"If I weren't married," said the girl, "I shouldn't
mind so much. I mean, it wouldn't matter so much. It's
the thought of GeraldmWell, here--here's what all the
trouble's about!"
She dived in her bag, took something out and flung
it down on the desk where, gleaming and flashing, it
rolled over to Mr. Parker Pyne.
It was a platinum ring with a large solitaire diamond.
Mr. Pyne picked it up, took it to the window, tested it
on the pane, applied a jeweler's lens to his eye and ex-amined
it closely.
"An exceedingly fine diamond," he remarked, com-ing
back to the table; "worth, I should say, about two
thousand pounds at least."
"Yes. And it's stolen! I stole it! And I don't know
what to do."
"Dear me!" said Mr. Parker PYne. "This is very in-teresting.''
His client broke down and sobbed into an inadequate
handkerchief.
"Now, now," said Mr. Pyne. "Everything's going to
be all right."
The girl dried her eyes and sniffed. "Is it?" she said.
"Oh, is it?"
"Of course it is. Now, just tell me the whole story."
"Well, it began by my being hard up. You see, I'm
frightfully extravagant. And Gerald gets so annoyed
about it. Gerald's my husband. He's a lot older than I
am, and he's got very--well, very austere ideas. He
thinks running into debt is dreadful. So I didn't tell him.
And I went over to Le Touquet with some friends and I
thought perhaps I might be lucky at chemmy and get
straight again. I did win at first. And then I lost, and
then I thought I must go on. And I went on. And--and--"
THE CASE OF THE DISTRESSED LADY
41
"Yes, yes," said Mr. Parker Pyne. "You need not go
into details. You were in a worse plight than ever. That
is right, is it not?"
Daphne St. John nodded. "And by then, you see, I
simply couldn't tell Gerald. Because he hates gambling.
Oh, I was in an awful mess. Well, we went down to stay
with the Dortheimers near Cobham. He's frightfully
rich, of course. His wife, Naomi, was at school with me.
She's pretty and a dear. While we were there, the setting
of this ring got loose. On the morning we were leaving,
she asked me to take it up to town and drop it at her
jeweler's in Bond Street." She paused.
"And now we come to the difficult part," said Mr.
Pyne helpfully. "Go on, Mrs. St. John."
"You won't ever tell, will you?" demanded the girl
pleadingly.
"My clients' confidences are sacred. And anyway,
Mrs. St. John, you have told me so much already that I
could probably finish the story for myself."
"That's true. All right. But I hate saying it--it sounds
so awful. I went to Bond Street. There's another shop
there--Viro's. They--copy jewelry. Suddenly I lost my
head. I took the ring in and said I wanted an exact copy;
I said I was going abroad and didn't want to take real
jewelry with me. They seemed to think it quite natural.
"Well, I got the paste replica--it was so good you
couldn't have told it from the original--and I sent it off
by registered post to Lady Dortheimer. I had a box with
the jeweler's name on it, so that was all right, and I
made a professional-looking parcel. And then I--I--pawned
the real one." She hid her face in her hands.
"How could I? How could I? I was just a low, mean,
common thief."
Mr. Parker Pyne coughed. "I do not think you have
quite finished," he said.
42
Agatha Christie
"No, I haven't. This, you understand, was about six
weeks ago. I paid off all my debts and got square again,
but of course I was miserable all the time. And then an
old cousin of mine died and I came into some money.
The first thing I did was to redeem the wretched ring.
Well, that's all right; here it is. But something terribly
difficult has happened."
"Yes?"
"We've had a quarrel with the Dortheimers. It's over
some shares that Sir Reuben persuaded Gerald to buy.
He was terribly let in over them and he told Sir Reuben
what he thought of him--and oh, it's all dreadful! And
now, you see, I can't get the ring back."
"Couldn't you send it to Lady Dortheimer anony-mously?''
"That gives the whole thing away. She'll examine her
own ring, find it's a fake and guess at once what I've
done."
"You say she is a friend of yours. What about telling
her the whole truth--throwing yourself on her mercy?''
Mrs. St. John shook her head. "We're not such
friends as that. Where money or jewelry is concerned,
Naomi's as hard as nails. Perhaps she couldn't pro-secute
me if I gave the ring back, but she could tell
everyone what I've done and I'd be ruined. Gerald
would know and he would never forgive me. Oh, how
awful everything is!" She began to cry again. "I've
thought and I've thought, and I can't see what to do!
Oh, Mr. Pyne, can't you do anything?"
"Several things," said Mr. Parker Pyne.
"You can? Really?"
"Certainly. I suggested the simplest way because in
my long experience I have always found it the best. It
avoids unlooked-for complications. Still, I see the force
THE CASE OF THE DISTRESSED LADY 4.
of your objections. At present no one knows of this un
fortunate occurrence but yourself?"
"And you," said Mrs. St. John.
"Oh, I do not count. Well, then, your secret is safe a
present. All that is needed is to exchange the rings iJ
some unsuspicious manner."
"That's it," the girl said eagerly.
"That should not be difficult. We must take a littl(
time to consider the best method--"
She interrupted him. "But there is no time! That'.,
what's driving me nearly crazy. She's going to have the
ring reset."
"How do you know?"
"Just by chance. I was lunching with a woman the
other day and I admired a ring she had on--a bit
emerald. She said it was the newest thing--and that
Naomi Dortheimer was going to have her diamond reset
that way."
"Which means that we shall have to act quickly,"
said Mr. Pyne thoughtfully.
"Yes, yes."
"It means gaining admission to the house--and
possible not in a menial capacity. Servants have little
chance of handling valuable rings. Have you any idea
yourself, Mrs. St. John?"
"Well, Naomi is giving a big party on Wednesday.
And this friend of mine mentioned that she had been
looking for some exhibition dancers. I don't know if
anything has been settled--"
"I think that can be managed," said Mr. Parker
Pyn¢. "If the matter is already settled it will be more
pensive, that is all. One thing more, do you happen to
know where the main light switch is situated?"
"As it happens I do know that, because a fuse blew
44
Agatha Christie
out late one night when the servants had all gone to bed.
It's a box at the back of the ha!l--inside a little cup-board."
At Mr. Parker Pyne's request she drew him a sketch.
"And now," said Mr. Parker Pyne, "everything is
going to be all right, so don't worry, Mrs. St. John.
What about the ring? Shall I take it now, or would you
rather keep it till Wednesday?"
"Well, perhaps I'd better keep it."
"Now, no more worry, mind you," Mr. Parker Pyne
admonished her.
"And your--fee?" she asked timidly.
"That can stand over for the moment. I will let you
know on Wednesday what expenses have been neces-sary.
The fee wilfbe nominal, I assure you."
He conducted her to the door, then rang the buzzer
on his desk.
"Send Claude and Madeleine here."
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