by B. T. Narro
Laney’s eyes glistened as she held back tears. I couldn’t do that to her. Unfortunately that meant I was going to have to win.
“Knock the other person down,” Jaymes said. “Go.”
I pulled py before me, only about a fist worth. There was no time to gather more, as I felt Laney drawing in her own energy. But she wasn’t finished by the time I forced mine forward and then around her leg. She only had a moment to look down in shock as it squeezed her before I yanked. She fell square on her back, her wail piercing the room.
I ran over. Her cheeks were moist with tears by the time I knelt down. “I’m sorry, Laney.”
“I don’t like this,” she whimpered.
I should’ve pulled her down gentler. No, Jaymes doesn’t seem like one to make idle threats. This pain can’t compare to the agony she’d feel spending the night in a cell.
I helped her up, wondering if Charlotte would spend any more nights in one of those cells. It doesn’t seem so. The king trusts her now.
Jaymes ended the duels after just that one. He had Laney focus on improving her accuracy by wrapping py around his limbs. Meanwhile, he instructed me to keep a cluster of py hovering in front of me while using a separate cluster of the energy to take on tasks like grabbing a sword from the wall or lifting a bed of straw.
“You should always have py at the ready,” he said. “Whenever you do anything, I want at least one ball of py held in reserve. You’ll need to act quickly in battle and you won’t have time to use the same energy for each foe.”
It was sage advice. Perhaps if I hadn’t spent so much effort dealing with Swenn I could’ve come to the same realization myself. Jaymes had a way of making the improvement of manipulating py feel as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered, and soon I forgot all about Swenn.
Jaymes often referred to battle. He mentioned it once with Laney and then only with me after. She’d quivered, too terrified to even gather energy until I calmed her down by telling her I would be at her side and wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Jaymes didn’t approve of my consoling, showing me so with a look.
A few hours into it, the commander told us he had to take care of other affairs. “You are to stay here until the bell chimes for lunch, and then you will eat at the dining hall and return here the moment you’re finished.”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
Laney remained silent. I nudged her.
“Hmm?”
“Yes, sir,” I whispered to her.
“Oh. Yes, sir!” She said it twice as loud, giggling after.
She needs to stay serious. Jaymes shook his head as he turned his back on us and left.
“Laney, if—”
“You do often start with people’s names! Shara was right.”
This woman. “If you don’t show you can fight, they’ll have no reason to keep you. They’ll send you back to prison.”
“I won’t go back there. I’ll die first!”
“Then make sure you treat this seriously. You’re going to have to get used to hurting people and feeling pain. And show reverence when speaking to Jaymes.”
“As my friend, you won’t let them take me back, right?” She leaned into me, wrapping her arm around my lower back. I embraced her with a sigh.
“I’ll do everything I can, but you need to try harder during training.”
“I will.”
We trained separately, the windy sound of pyforial energy the only ripples in the long, serene silence. When Eizle and I had started learning to manipulate py, the speed with which he improved made me feel slow. But as I split my focus, holding py near me while simultaneously using a different cluster of py to grab and lift objects around the armory, it wasn’t long before I found the task to be simple. Letting my body rest as the lunch hour drew near, I reflected on how quickly I’d picked up not just this skill but the ability to hover as well.
Previously, I’d only practiced using py in ways I’d used it before. Now my mind was the only limitation on what I could do. I thought about what else to try as I gathered my breath.
As soon as the idea came to me, I was too excited to wait until my stamina completely recovered. The worst part about hovering was the need to lie flat on the bed of py. It limited my scope to the ground beneath me. This would change that if it worked.
I formed two clusters of py, one near each shoulder. I extended my arms and moved the py beneath my armpits, then packed it tightly together and wrapped it around my shoulders. I folded my arms until they pressed against the cushiony energy.
As a test to make sure it would hold, I pulled up my knees to get my feet off the ground. I felt the pressure beneath my arms but also in my whole body as I forced the energy to stay trapped beneath my arms and around my shoulders.
My weight fought against it while my mind kept it steady. I willed myself upward about as high as I could jump. The energy painfully dug into my ribs on both sides of my body. It was trying to come together.
Keep it separate, I told myself when I realized my mistake. In telling the py to rise, I’d lost focus and willed the discrete clusters as one entity, thus drawing them together. I re-established my separate holds, then raised myself higher.
I can go up fairly easily, but what about forward?
I tried to will both clusters of py straight, but my right side went faster than my left, turning me in the air. I compensated by focusing more on the left and instantly lost control of my right side. My mind’s hold on the py slipped loose like a ribbon coming undone, and the energy on my left side was not enough to hold me up.
It was a good thing I’d only been a couple feet in the air because I came down hard on my side. My right knee and hand took most of the force, causing enough pain for me to wince through my teeth as I shook back and forth.
Laney turned to look at me, completely unaware of what had just happened. “What in two hells did you do to yourself?”
“I fell.”
She laughed at me. “How could you have fallen while standing still?”
“Oh, so you mind hurting me, yet you laugh when I hurt myself? A lot of sense that makes.”
She just giggled and shrugged before returning to her training.
As I waited for the pain to subside so I could stand, I considered how dangerous it would be to go higher. Losing focus for just an instant could mean death at some heights.
But I couldn’t give up just yet. It was potentially too useful.
What if I learned how to catch myself once I started falling? It was a thought, though I had no idea how I could practice. The beds of straw weren’t much more forgiving than the stone floor.
Soon the bell rang to signal lunch. Training slipped from my mind just as py had slipped out from my right arm. The verdict for Swenn would be announced today. This was my only chance to prove he’d cheated to fool the psychics.
“Neeko, wait just one moment.” Laney seemed unusually shy.
“Let’s talk on the way to the dining hall. Jaymes might not allow us the entire time to eat.” And I need to do more than just eat.
“I don’t want to say this in front of anyone. Can I just tell you here?”
“Yes if you hurry.”
“This is very awkward.” She looked at the ground.
“It’s fine, Laney,” I urged. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Sometimes I think back to the day I was released from prison and feel embarrassed about my behavior…and the way I looked. I still don’t like the way I look, but at least I’m not filthy and dressed in rags.”
“Is this about your appearance?” I hated to be insensitive, but I just didn’t have the time. “Laney, there’s nothing for you to worry about. You’re beautiful. Come on, let’s eat lunch.”
She didn’t seem to believe me. “No one’s called me beautiful before.”
“You are.” I waved for her to come along.
She brightened a bit with a smile. “Remember how I said I wanted to kiss a man?”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen to me during battle. I can’t even imagine myself fighting, and I certainly can’t imagine myself kissing anyone on the way south. If a kiss is going to happen, it needs to be in the castle and with someone who likes me. You like me, don’t you?”
I would’ve stopped right then and given her a kiss. It seemed to be the quickest way to end this and get to the dining hall, which was all I could think about in that moment. But if Laney had been a man wanting to kiss a woman, and Shara happened to be that woman, I wouldn’t easily let it go. I didn’t exactly know what Shara and I were to each other, but I knew how she felt and I knew how I felt. This couldn’t happen.
“I would, Laney, but I can’t because I care about Shara.”
She gasped, then screamed, “You do?”
“Yes.”
“You should tell her!”
She already knows. “I will.”
“There’s another man I’d like to kiss before I leave, then. Darri…he’s extraordinarily handsome! Can you speak to him for me?”
“You should get Shara to do that.” I put my hand on her back to ease her through the door.
“Would she?”
“She would.” The real question was whether she could convince him. “I’m going to be sincere with you, and I mean this in the friendliest way imaginable.” I waited for her to nod. “There’s too much for me to do to worry about finding someone for you to kiss. Many of us in the castle probably feel the same way as I do. If you’re that intent on getting a kiss, you should act like an adult and speak to Darri yourself.”
“I hate when you use the ‘A’ word to me. Makes me feel like a child.”
“I’m sorry, but it had to be said.”
“I’ll forgive you if you kiss my cheek.”
I moved my lips toward her but stopped when I sensed a trap. Sure enough, she spun to face me at the last moment, trying to sneak a peck.
“Damn!”
“Good try.” I patted her back, then kissed the top of her head.
I did fear for her, though. She was eighteen and still had a lot of growing up to do before heading into battle.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The seats around the enormous tables in the great hall were filling quickly by the time we got there. Shara and Darri were beside each other, an empty chair on either side of them. I told Laney to sit next to Darri as I went for the seat near Shara.
I filled my plate, barely paying attention to what I was taking. “Do you know what PCQ is?” I asked Shara.
“Pyforial Council of Quosae,” she said. “I put a book about it beneath your door.”
“You knew I would ask.”
I caught her grinning. “I knew.”
Ignoring what sounded like an awkward conversation about kissing between Darri and Laney, I told Shara, “Swenn took something before the trial to change his emotions. The psychics said he felt calm and happy before he became almost too tired to stay awake. Do you know anything that would cause these effects?”
“I don’t.”
I was shocked. “You don’t? Are you certain?”
“There are some things even I don’t know.” She touched my leg. “I know he was lying at least about your mother, but I’m worried that the psychics being there made it harder for the king to see that. He usually decides when someone’s telling the truth, but how can he claim Swenn spoke lies when the psychics confirmed he didn’t?”
“That’s why I need to prove he took something. Someone had to have helped him get the substance.”
I shoved food into my mouth. How nice it would be to eat just one meal with leisure. I looked around for the guards who had stood with Swenn during the trial. I caught sight of one who’d just finished the last morsel on his plate. He started toward a door.
I ran after him, but he made it out of the dining hall before I caught up.
“Excuse me, may I ask you something?” I called out.
He stopped in a corridor. “What is it, mage?”
It wasn’t a surprise that he knew me. After the trial, anyone who didn’t before did now. “Were you with Swenn before the trial?”
He made a face, seemingly entertained yet confused by my question, not that I understood. “On whose behalf are you asking?”
“My own, I suppose.”
“A very important man recently asked me that same question.”
He raised his eyebrows at someone down a hall. As I turned to look, he bowed. I was startled to find King Quince himself standing there with his arms folded, his usual retinue of guards behind him.
“Why are you questioning this man, Neeko?” Quince demanded.
Oh gods. I suppose there’s no point in hiding it now. “Swenn was lying during the trial, sire. He must’ve taken some substance to remove his fear and anxiety.”
“It is my responsibility to decide whether those questioned were telling the truth, just as it is my responsibility to decide on the proper punishment if one is required. Your obvious lack of trust is insult enough for me to take away your salary for the entire month.” He shook his head. “Nay, it is not just an insult, it is subversive to the way justice is meted out! Do you understand?”
“I do. I apologize, sire. My worry that the man who killed my mother would be deemed innocent has kept me from staying idle, but I won’t pry anymore. I trust in your judgment.” I was glad there were no psychics around in that moment. I trusted he would do everything he could, but I certainly didn’t trust that he could prove Swenn was lying.
“Return to the dining hall and remember my warning about what will happen if you remain insubordinate. Based on your continuously impudent behavior, you must not realize how close I am to abandoning this little project with pyforial mages.”
“Yes, sire.” I bowed as low and humbly as I could without making a travesty out of it. He walked off before I was standing straight again.
When I returned to my seat, I apologized to Shara for running off.
“Was it about Swenn?” she guessed.
“It was.”
“He’s stuck to his word, though. No one’s bothered us. If he stays, I believe he’ll keep some distance. You should consider letting him be.”
I reminded myself she was saying these things because she was worried about me. “I can’t.”
“I wish you would try,” she whispered. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you.”
“It’s not a matter of trying. You’re asking me to do something I’m incapable of doing. He killed my mother, Shara. He killed Eizle and his squire. He would’ve killed Kayren. He needs to be stopped.”
She looked away from me, lowering her head as she ate quietly. We finished our meal before we spoke again.
“I haven’t seen Henry,” I commented.
“I heard he received permission from the king to leave the castle for some time.”
“I hope it’s not to do something for Swenn.”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”
I noticed Jaymes by the stairs. “I have to go,” I told Shara as I started to stand.
“Wait.” She tugged on my shirt, and I sat.
“What is it?”
“I once read something you should heed: Revenge is easy while forgiveness is difficult, but only one makes us into better people. Only one lets us live on with joy, without worry of retaliation or guilt. And only one can be chosen.”
I thought for a moment, then looked her square in the eyes. “I choose revenge, because forgiveness is not justice.”
Laney and I trained in the armory. I didn’t tell Jaymes about my new strategy for floating. I wouldn’t until I’d determined its practicability.
The commander demanded we push ourselves until Laney eventually sat down and claimed she couldn’t move any more energy.
Before Jaymes could yell, I ran over and lifted her, holding her up by her waist. I noticed with disappointment that she’d hardly begun to sweat.
> “You’ve only just begun to exert yourself,” I told her.
She fought me to sink back to the ground while I kept her up. “I’m spent. I need a break.”
That couldn’t be true. “You have more strength than you realize. You just need to find it. Search, Laney. Push yourself. It’s the only way to improve.”
She took a few breaths. “I think you might be right.”
The way she found her footing and stepped out of my grasp with a straight back and a stern glare made her appear like a new woman. It occurred to me that it was possible no one had ever believed in her before. I thought of her sad tale about her family reporting her to guards and leaving her to rot in solitude. My childhood was hard, but that was only because Swenn made it so. At least I’d had my mother. Who did Laney have?
I wouldn’t let her give up. I just wished Jaymes felt the same way, as her fate was in his hands.
We trained hard for hours until the supper bell rang. Laney wasn’t sweating as much as I was, though I was still proud of the gleam to her forehead, her hair darkened around it. She panted as we walked out.
Suppertime reminded me that King Quince should be announcing his verdict at any moment. When I saw Shara, I felt the need to apologize, though I wasn’t sure what I was sorry about. I’d meant everything I’d told her.
There’d been distance growing between us, and surely the rules that prohibited intimacy were a big part of it. But our little arguments about Swenn hadn’t helped.
There were no seats open around her, so I ate beside Laney. It was amusing to watch how she’d hold the meat on her plate with pyforial energy while she cut it into manageable pieces before switching to her fork. I could understand why she’d found so much use for py. Cutting meat was surely only one of many tasks that were simple with two hands yet nearly impossible with one.
Looking around, I saw I wasn’t the only one hurrying to finish eating. What did everyone know that I didn’t? I would’ve asked Laney, but she hardly ever found out anything before I did.
“Eat quickly,” I advised her.
“Why?”
“Because everyone else is.”
It wasn’t long before the king was announced. Everyone stood, chewing, the unpleasant noise causing Quince to wrinkle his nose. A cacophony of forced swallows and stifled belches followed until silence came over the entire great hall.