by B. T. Narro
“I outsmarted you! Now you see how it feels. Are you going to cry? Are you?”
“You’re making it extremely difficult to be proud of you.”
“I beat you! I beat you!”
I sat up to find Jaymes trying to tell me something with his expression, his arms folded, his head tilted. It was then that I realized the true point of this lesson: to show Laney that she could endure losing, that she could endure pain. And once she overcame both, she actually might find the mental fortitude to strategize, to improve, and even to win.
But would she ever learn to stop bragging?
“That was easy. All I had to do was protect my limbs and then I pulled you right off the ground!” She held out her hand. I reached for it, thinking she was helping me up, but she pulled it away. “No, the money. Pay me what your salary is for this period.”
Finally it was my turn to smile. “Jaymes, would you mind confirming how much my salary is?”
“It’s nothing,” he said.
She appeared confused. “You aren’t paid?”
“Normally, yes,” I said. “But all of it has been taken away through reductions.”
“You think that’s funny betting with a salary of zero, don’t you?” she snapped.
“Somewhat,” I admitted.
Jaymes separated us like the day before and we trained until lunch. Then we ate and trained until supper. Laney and I never became bored. There was too much we could do with py. Even more, both of us were improving quickly enough for me to catch Jaymes raising an eyebrow every so often.
I only spoke with Shara during supper for a moment as we searched for seats. We decided we shouldn’t sit together more than once a day. Doing so would give people the wrong impression—or the right impression? The correct impression. If I hadn’t lived in the castle, I would’ve guessed the war was the main topic among those eating together. But the truth was that people here liked to gossip as if secrets were currency.
I went up to my room after supper. The rain pattered against my window—the gods had decided. Tonight was the night. I knew I should’ve been worried instead of excited, but I couldn’t help myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
To pass the time, I trained for a while and then read three chapters of Gally Fwar’s book about the two queens. There was no way to ensure most everyone would be asleep when I acted out my plan, but the chances were higher the longer I waited.
The rain was my best cover. It was too dark to see farther than a few feet and most people kept their curtains shut to help keep out the cold. I could feel the difference when I spread mine open and glanced out my window.
I hunched into my woolen coat, then tied my cloak around my collar. I thought of finding something to cover my face in case anyone happened to see me, but soon I realized how pointless it would be. If anyone saw me floating, they could identify me as one of the two pyforial mages in the castle…and the other was missing a limb.
Bracing myself for the wind with a quick breath, I unlatched my window and opened it slowly. Immediately, I found I didn’t need to worry about the sound the py might make, for the wind howled loudly, blowing the rain into my face, its chill sucking the breath out of me.
Being on the second floor, I realized it was impossible to jump down without breaking a leg. Considering it was too dark to see the ground, however, breaking a leg would be a fortunate outcome in comparison to what probably would happen.
I’d practiced enough by now to be comfortable holding myself up with py. I gathered it under my arms as I stood near my open window. I stepped up, crouching to fit, then got my legs over.
Trust yourself. You will not fall.
Knowing it would be harder the longer I waited, I scooted off. Instantly, I rose into the air, misjudging the strength needed to keep my body floating. After going up about five feet, I told the py to stop.
But I couldn’t tell the py to go down. I would fall like a rock. Instead, I had to keep forcing the energy beneath my arms upward, just not enough to counter my weight.
I fell quickly, then jerked to a stop and started to rise back up. I fell again, then stopped and rose once more. Gods, how I hate going down.
Finally I found the right amount of effort and glided all the way to the ground. After I regained my breath, I looked up to make sure I was still below my window. It was the only one open, right above me. In the darkness, windows were the one way of knowing how to get to Shara’s room. Hers was four from mine.
The rain beat down on me. Thunder rolled. My shirt felt relatively dry beneath my coat and cloak, but my pants were soaked as well as my hair. I walked toward Shara’s room.
Suddenly I was falling! I splashed into a body of water and became submerged past my head. What in two hells is this? I quickly got my face to the surface and tried to cough out all that I’d inhaled. My chest felt cold with an uncomfortable pressure pushing from within.
I was in some sort of lake, but it was too dark to determine more than that. My gods, the moat! Shara’s room must be below the moat! I’d been watching the windows, not my feet.
I climbed out, now wondering if I had the strength to even get back to my own room. I was freezing, exhausted, and soaked, and just walking felt like a boulder was chained to my waist.
The longer you stay out here, the worse it’ll be. I considered walking around to the front of the castle. No, then guards would need to let me in and they would surely tell the king. He and Jaymes would question me as to my whereabouts. I couldn’t exactly say I fell out my window.
I reminded myself that going up was easier than down. I still could do this.
I wrung out my sleeves and pants as best I could. Thunder drummed somewhere in the distance, a noise full of wrath. I could see how a man of faith might fear the gods.
Standing at the start of the moat, I was one window away from Shara’s. I would need not only to rise to the appropriate level but to shift sideways. At least if I fall, I’m going into water. The thought gave me confidence and soon I’d lifted myself off the ground.
I got to the height I needed almost instantly. If only I had as much control in every direction as I did upward. Thank the gods whoever’s window I was outside was covered by curtains. I couldn’t imagine what they’d think to look out and find me hovering.
I glided sideways but felt myself veering downward. I tried to correct it, but of course I overcompensated, now rising nearly straight up. I drifted around like a lost fly for maybe the better part of a minute before I finally ended up right outside Shara’s window. By then, I barely had the strength to keep myself steady.
There was no sill for me to put my feet. I couldn’t move my arms, for the py wrapped beneath them was the only thing keeping me afloat. So I tapped her window with my foot.
She’s probably asleep.
I kicked this time. Then I waited. I kicked again. Nothing.
I kicked some more. If I did it any harder, I would risk breaking the glass.
What if the noise scares her and she runs off to get someone?
I made a decision right then to give up on this plan. Panic came over me as I realized I didn’t have the strength to get down. I didn’t want to fall into that moat again. I couldn’t even see it below me.
I cursed as I started to feel my mind’s grasp on the py slipping. The curtains glowed—she was making light from her wand! I kicked once more, grunting as I tapped into my last reserve of strength. She pushed open the curtains and recoiled as she gasped. I wanted to scream for her to open the window. Instead I pointed and pleaded with a desperate expression.
She unlatched it in a hurry. I slammed my shoulder against the edge on the way through, tumbling onto her floor.
“My gods, Neeko, you brought in the entire moat with you. You must’ve been outside in the rain for hours.”
“Just a few minutes.” Shivering, I knew I needed to remove my wet clothes. I started with my cloak, putting it over her chair. I followed by removing my coat. “Do you have
a towel?”
She retrieved one as she asked, “Is there an emergency I need to know about?”
“No.” My shaking hands couldn’t get the buttons on my shirt undone.
Shara waited with towel in hand. “I have so many questions I don’t know where to start.” Seeing me struggle, she put the towel on her bed. “Here.” She undid my top button, the tips of her knuckles caressing my chest. She stopped to touch my cheeks, then she grabbed my hands. “You feel like ice.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.”
She started undoing the rest of the buttons. “Did you float to my window from yours?”
“First I floated down to the ground. Then I walked below your window.”
“But the moat’s below my window.”
“I know that now.”
She stared at me wide-eyed. “You fell in!”
“It was dark.”
Shara giggled as she undid my last button. I leaned as she helped me out of my shirt. She came behind me and rubbed my hair with the towel. Then she wrapped it around my shoulders and arms.
My pants still dripped but the warmth of the towel slowly dissolved my shivers. “Were you sleeping?” I asked.
“I was trying. It isn’t easy these days.”
“I have the same problem. It was far easier when we shared a bed.”
She smiled and stepped closer. I opened my arms and enveloped her completely.
“What happens if the king finds out you’re here?” she whispered, concerned.
“I doubt he’d actually expel me from Sumar just for going to your room, but I’m sure he’d consider it.”
She leaned back, but my arms around her didn’t let her get far. “You should go.”
“I know. Let me just say something first.” Shara always made me feel everything so strongly, like her dark eyes pulled my emotions out of me. “We might never have the chance again after I’m sent to fight.”
She nodded.
“Since I left my mother when I was eight, I’ve felt like I’ve been dragging around a metal shadow. It’s only gotten heavier, especially when Eizle died and his brother lived because of what I’d done.”
Her piercing eyes took on a pained look.
“And now I have the added feeling like there’s always something behind me,” I said, “creeping up, about to strike. Swenn’s plans, Henry following us, the worry about my aunt, the guilt I feel for my mother and for Eizle, and, of course, the war. Meanwhile, the shadow I’m pulling just seems to accumulate more weight no matter how much good I try to do.”
“I know.” She spoke kindly, though I wasn’t sure she actually understood. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t looking for sympathy. I’d come here to make sure Shara knew something about herself, not about me.
“The only times I feel weightless have been when I can forget everything—when I’m with you. Often just thinking of you makes me feel more capable of dealing with everything. I’ll be leaving the castle when it’s time, and I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, but I promise I’ll find you.”
She leaned against my hold on her back and put her arms around my neck. My heart jumped as I thought she would kiss me. What she said instead made my heart sink like a stone.
“You’re too late, I’m already with Darri.”
At first I didn’t believe her, but then she didn’t form her usual smile when joking. Despair stabbed me like a knife.
She laughed. “Your face! It’s too easy with you sometimes. Of course I’m not with him.”
Relieved, I nearly smiled but kept my face serious. She needed to be teased in return.
I shrugged. “I was just going to go to Laney’s room if that was the case. She’s been begging me to kiss her. I’m sure the same line would work far better on her than it did on you.”
Shara’s smile vanished. “What…”
“That’s right. In fact, I’m sure she would put her lips on me the moment I floated up to her window. She wouldn’t tease me like you.”
Keeping her hands around the back of my neck, Shara shook me angrily. “She’s really been adamant about kissing you? Tell me honestly.”
“She was for about three seconds, then she forgot about me as soon as I suggested Darri instead.”
“Well he is extraordinarily handsome.”
I felt my mouth drop open. “That’s not only the same word she used, it’s the exact same way she said it.”
Shara laughed. “Because she’s said the same thing to me ten times at least.”
We smiled at each other as we leaned in and met lips. Then Shara nestled against my chest and slowly let out her breath.
“I have a very selfish request,” she said. “I know you should leave, but will you lie down with me until I fall asleep? There’s nothing I want more.”
“Yes…that is a very selfish request.”
“You know you want to.”
“Of course, it’s the getting up part I don’t know if I can do.”
She put on a dramatic frown.
“All right, because you insisted.”
She grinned. “Is that what my frown is…insisting?”
“It demands to be appeased stronger than anything you could say. I think that qualifies.”
“It’s good to know I have such a weapon in my arsenal.” She took my hand and led me to her bed.
“I probably shouldn’t tell you that you have many other weapons just as strong as that frown.”
“Oh? Like what?” She waved her finger at my wet pants. “Take those off.”
I put her towel over the base of her bed and started with my belt. “Well, your eyes, of course.”
“My eyes?” She fluttered her lashes. “Do tell me what they can do.”
A noise came from her door. Gods, someone was sticking in a key!
I muttered a curse as I fell flat to the floor and rolled beneath her bed.
“Ah, good you’re still awake.” It was Mayla’s voice but she didn’t continue. I imagined her looking at my cloak and coat by the window, then finding Shara’s rumpled towel on her bed. Luckily I still had my pants on. “Were you outside?”
“I, um, sort of.”
There was a long silence.
“Why?” Mayla finally asked.
“I was standing near my open window. Just standing there.” She paused. “I like to feel the rain.”
“Isn’t it too cold?”
“I…like the cold. It helps me sleep. I stand outside the window until I’m shivering. Then I dry myself and get into my warm bed. I was just about to do that.”
“What an interesting habit. Perhaps I’ll try it the next time sleep eludes me.”
“Yes, it works wonderfully. Is there something I can do for you, Nurse Mayla?”
“I’m sorry to disturb you so late, but King Quince would like to speak to you.”
“Right now?”
“Yes, he was questioning me as to what I knew about several poisons that you and I have spoken about since the stabbing incident. When I told him it was you who’d taught me much of what I relayed to him, he asked me to bring you to him.”
Shara must’ve made a face, for Mayla laughed. “It’s nothing serious, Shara. I’ll be with you to help with his questions.”
“Is he waiting?”
“The king never waits. He’s busy deciding who the new master of coin will be. Come to my quarters. He’ll summon us when he’s ready.”
“May I meet you there? I’d like to change.”
“Just put on your shoes and cover yourself with a coat—a dry one. The king doesn’t expect you to be dressed any other way at this time of night.”
I could feel Shara’s reluctance to leave her room with me still here.
“Come on,” Mayla said. “Don’t be scared.”
They made polite conversation as Shara laced up her shoes and retrieved a coat from her wardrobe. Soon I heard the door shut, and I crawled out from under her bed.
“That was close,” I whispered
, my heart still rattling nervously.
Just thinking about all that was required for me to float back to my window made me shiver. I dressed, my wet clothes clinging to my skin. Lightning bathed the sky in white as I opened Shara’s window. Thunder stormed in.
“Forget it.” I closed her window and went to her door instead. Pushing my ear against it, I heard nothing. I just had to step into the hall and shut her door before anyone saw me. Then I realized I couldn’t lock it, and she probably had her money somewhere in this room.
I groaned as I walked back to the window.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Shara plopped down beside me at breakfast the next morning. She was so excited to tell me something that she didn’t take any food.
“I made an amazingly, wonderfully, exceptionally, surprisingly”—she lifted her finger and cocked her head—“good impression on the king last night.” She made two fists and shook them near my face. I’d seen this before, so it was no surprise when she gritted her teeth and muttered quietly, “I want to kiss you right now.” Instead, she grabbed some hot bread off the table and bit off a chunk.
With a full mouth, she tried to continue. “He askth…hol on.” She chewed quickly and forced a swallow. “He asked me all about poisons and where the different plants grew that made up these poisons, and I knew the answer to every question! He started asking me about other things having nothing to do with poison, about the land in general, how it’s changed, what some rulers have done about problems with certain creatures.” She tossed her hand. “All sorts of issues, and I knew all of it. I think he might ask for my counsel in the future!”
“I’m glad someone here finally has seen your potential.”
She leaned over and whispered, “I’m sorry I had to leave you like that. I hope you’re aware that I meant what I said. There was nothing more I wanted than to lie down with you. Was it difficult getting back to your room?”
Truthfully, it was worse than anything I’d done in training, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. “I managed it fine.”
“It would be extremely selfish of me to ask you to come back tonight.”