by Myrna Temte
During the past few weeks, she had been so busy moving and settling in, she hadn’t had the time or energy to question the wisdom of her decision to give up her old life in favor of a new one at Laughing Horse. Now the enormity of what she’d done was sinking in. While she’d always known in theory that she was half-Indian, she had fit in well enough with the surrounding white culture to feel comfortable, if not very much at home.
At Laughing Horse, however, there would be no convenient fading into the background. She would be the minority person, the one who automatically stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb. Could she handle that?
“It’s a little late to be asking that question,” she murmured, shaking her head at her penchant for second-guessing herself.
“Asking what question, Teach?”
She groaned at the sound of that deep, familiar voice, then laughed and turned around. Sam stood in the doorway, wearing his usual work clothes, his hard hat tipped back on his head and a wicked, teasing grin on his wide mouth.
“Why are you always the one who catches me talking to myself?” she asked.
He shrugged one muscled shoulder and ambled farther into the room. “Just lucky? Or is it that you always talk to yourself?”
“Not always. Just…sometimes,” she said. “And I hardly ever answer myself.”
“Hmm.” Using a terrible German accent, he flourished an imaginary pad and continued walking toward her. “Tell me, mine dear, how long haff you been hearing zeese voices? Do zay ever tell you to take off all of your cloze? If zo, do you ever listen to zem? Like, right now, for instance?”
“Shame on you, Sam Brightwater. This is a school building,” she scolded him, then ruined the effect with a chuckle. “Don’t even think about that sort of thing in here or I’ll lose my teaching certificate.”
“Didn’t you ever have a crush on one of your teachers?” he asked.
“Not in elementary school,” she said. “Did you?”
“Oh, yeah, I had it bad for Miss Harper. Damn near broke my heart when she came back from Christmas vacation wearing an engagement ring.”
“What grade were you in?”
“Third.” His smile had a reminiscent quality. “She was one sweet lady.”
“Well, she’s probably almost fifty years old by now, Sam.”
“That’s okay.” He stopped in front of her with his left hand tucked behind his back. Using his right hand, he slid a finger under her chin, then leaned down and gave her a quick, tantalizing kiss. “You remind me of her.”
“Uh-oh. This is starting to sound kinky.” Enjoying this playful side of his personality, Julia smiled at him. “What’s in your other hand?”
“What makes you think there’s something in that hand?”
“I’m a teacher. I know every expression boys make, Sam Brightwater, and yours says you’re hiding something in that hand.”
He sidled a little closer to her and rested his right hand on top of the bookcase behind her, close to, but not quite touching, her hip. “Damn, but you’re good, Teach.”
“Yes, I am. Now, quit swearing before I have to give you detention, and show me what you’ve got there.”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but that’s not much of a punishment.” He leaned down and gently nibbled on her left earlobe. “If I have detention, that means I get to hang around the teacher after all the other kids go home.”
The combination of his big, hard body caging her against the bookcases, his warm breath and lips grazing the side of her neck, the scrape of his teeth on such sensitive skin gave her a case of goose bumps so tall they probably looked like chicken pox. With a suddenness that stole her breath, she wanted him. Right here. Right now. Hang the consequences, she wanted him.
Telling herself this wasn’t at all like her, she turned her head, aligned her mouth with his and clasped his head between her palms. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, showing her the unmistakable proof that she wasn’t the only one getting turned on here. His tongue slid into her mouth, twining with hers.
Surely it had been longer, much, much longer than a week since he had made love to her. What on earth had possessed her to think she needed time away from him? She ran her hands over his chest and shoulders and arms, loving the solid feel of him.
Something hit the floor with a hollow, yet…squishy sort of sound. He brought his left hand up and cupped it around the back of her head, deepening the kiss with such a low, heartfelt groan, it weakened her knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung.
How could this keep happening, to her of all people? This explosion of need every time he kissed her simply didn’t fit her practical, sensible image of herself. They weren’t a couple of hormone-driven teenagers, but she felt like one every time he took her into his arms. In fact, if one of them didn’t stop soon, they were going to have their second sexual encounter in a classroom.
She pulled her mouth from his and rested her forehead against his chest while she struggled to regain her equilibrium. Breathing raggedly, he stroked her back and hair, his big hands amazingly gentle. Considering how difficult she had found him at first, she felt incredibly safe with him now. Even though she could still feel his heart banging on the inside of his chest and the hard ridge behind the zipper of his jeans pressing into her abdomen, he wasn’t the kind of man who would use his size and strength against her.
“Holy smokes, woman,” he grumbled, though with a hint of rueful laughter in his voice, “all I have to do is touch you, and we both go nuts.”
She nodded, then lifted her head and met his gaze. “We do seem to have a strong effect on each other.”
“I want you,” he said. “I’ve tried to be patient, but that one time—”
“Will never be enough,” she said, automatically finishing his sentence for him. “I feel the same way.”
“I won’t put you at risk again.”
“I know. And it was both of us, not just you.”
“When can we be together again? Where?”
“I wish I knew,” she said.
“Here’s an idea,” Sam said. “Why don’t you come with me to the Labor Day powwow over at Lame Deer? It would be a good cultural experience for you, and we could always spend a night or two in Billings.”
“That sounds wonderful, but Melissa North already invited me to a party for the Hip Hop staff. She said I could bring a date, and I’d love to have you come with me. We could go to Billings later.”
Stepping away from her, Sam shoved his hands into his front pockets. “You’d rather do that than go to one of the best powwows around?”
“I’ve promised I’d go, Sam, and Melissa’s really been nice to me.”
“And you worked your little tush off for her all summer.”
“So? What’s your point?”
“You don’t owe her anything. You gave her exactly what she paid you for.”
“She gave me a job when I needed one. Without any hassles about references or anything else.”
“Good waitresses don’t grow on trees,” Sam said with a shrug. “She didn’t have much to lose by giving you a shot.”
“Now wait a darn minute,” Julia said. “I don’t understand your attitude toward Melissa all of a sudden. You seem to like eating at her place well enough, so what’s the big deal here?”
“The big deal is that you’d rather go to some picnic of hers than spend time among your own people learning about your own culture.”
“I never said that. It’s just that I’ve already promised I would go to this particular picnic. And I happen to think it would be rude to back out now.”
“They probably wouldn’t even miss you.”
“Well, thank you so much for that remark.” Folding her arms over her waist, she turned away from him and stared out the windows without really seeing the playground outside. “In that case, you won’t miss me, either. Have fun in Lame Deer.”
He muttered something under his b
reath she couldn’t make out, spun around and left the room. Julia muttered a few pithy phrases of her own, then walked back to her desk, sat down, propped her elbows on the blotter and rested her forehead in her palms. She shifted her bottom to the left, searching for a more comfortable position and felt something brush against the toe of her shoe.
Leaning over, she spotted a large, red…something rolling under her open desk drawer. She shut the drawer, reached out and picked up the object. Oh, hell. He’d brought her an apple. A big, juicy apple for the teacher. And now it had a bruise on it. Just like her poor, stupid heart.
Julia and Janie were the only two staff members to attend Melissa’s Labor Day party without dates. They naturally gravitated toward each other, sharing a seat in one of the oversize vans the Norths had rented to transport their guests for the occasion. Janie’s nearly constant chatter helped Julia focus her thoughts on something other than Sam and his stubborn, completely unreasonable refusal to come with her to the picnic.
“I might as well just forget about men,” Janie said with a laugh. “When J.D. told me he wouldn’t come to this picnic with me, I invited Reed. I think he would have come, but he couldn’t get the day off. Holidays are always pretty busy for the cops.”
“I’m glad you asked him,” Julia said. “Is it possible you’re finally getting over your crush on Mr. Cade?”
Janie’s cheeks flushed a becoming shade of pink. “I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, I’ll always love J.D. in a way, but a girl can take only so much rejection. And Reed really is a nice guy. He stops by the Hip Hop almost every day now, and I like talking to him. He thinks I should go back to college.”
“So do I,” Julia said. “At least look into it. You probably wouldn’t have to borrow that much.”
“I might look into it, but I’m not borrowing one cent,” Janie insisted. “Debts can bury a person, and I don’t want any part of it.”
Julia subsided, directing her attention to the scenery outside the van’s windows. The wide-open valley vista gave way to progressively bigger hills, and finally to towering, pine-covered slopes on both sides of the road. The road climbed higher and higher, turning from pavement to gravel to a rutted dirt-and-grass track. The track ended in a clearing, in the center of which stood a sprawling, two-story house built of logs and native stones.
“Lord, have you ever seen such a nice place in your life?” Janie murmured to Julia.
“Not lately,” Julia whispered back.
Her heart swelled with appreciation for the graceful architecture. This wasn’t just somebody’s rustic little cabin in the woods. It was a beautiful home, very close, in fact, to her idea of a dream home. She wished Sam was here to see it with her. The pigheaded man.
Melissa warmly welcomed everyone, inviting them to explore inside and out at will. Julia and Janie eagerly accepted the offer, finding the interior of the house as warm and comfortable as the exterior had promised. But the day was too gorgeous to spend indoors, and before long the crowd regrouped on a large deck off the kitchen.
Wonderful food, the company of friends and beautiful surroundings combined to make for a relaxing day. Some people lazed in cushioned patio chairs, others hiked, and the rest took advantage of the volleyball net hanging between two sturdy trees. Julia moved from one activity to another, refusing to let herself dwell on the ache she felt whenever she noticed a couple holding hands or walking out of the woods with their hair messed up and their arms around each other’s waists.
By late afternoon, however, she found it more and more difficult to maintain a cheerful outlook. Darn Sam Brightwater, she missed him. They could have had so much fun together today, but oh no, he’d just had to go to Lame Deer. He’d probably meet Ms. Perfect Cheyenne Woman at the powwow and dump Julia like a hot rock. The thought made her throat tighten and the backs of her eyes burn.
Desperately needing to distract herself, she glanced around the backyard and spotted Janie sitting by herself at the edge of the deck, looking almost as forlorn as Julia felt. Julia strolled over and sat down beside Janie.
“What’s up?” she asked.
Janie gave her a lopsided smile. “Not much. I’m just feeling a tad out of place. Sort of like an old maid, you know?”
“I hear you,” Julia said. “The whole world does seem to be paired off except for you, me and Melissa’s stepson. I’d fight you for him, but he’s a little young, don’t you think?”
Janie nodded sagely. “Yes, he’s cute, but I usually like my men to be out of elementary school at the very least.”
The two women shared a good laugh, then lapsed into a companionable silence. Gradually, Julia became aware of a fine tension humming through her friend. Finally, Janie began to talk in a low, urgent tone that suggested the younger woman had needed a confidante for a long time.
“Julia, can you keep a secret?”
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know for sure. It’s Dale.”
“What about him?” Julia asked.
“He hasn’t been himself lately.” Janie yanked a tall stalk of grass out of the ground and fiddled with it. “He’s grouchy, and he’s acting all jumpy. He’s knows I’m worried sick about him, but he won’t tell me anything.”
“Maybe he’s just trying to handle his own problems. He is an adult.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?” Janie snapped.
“Well, do you have any idea what the problem might be?”
“It’s got something to do with that cursed Kincaid Ranch. I just wish he’d find some other to place to work where there’s not some kind of a disaster happening every other day.”
“Where else could he work?” Julia asked.
“That’s the problem. Dale’s a good rancher, but there aren’t that many jobs available anymore. If our dad hadn’t lost our place because of his damnable bad debts, Dale would be doing fine. I know he would.”
“He probably would,” Julia agreed, “but you can’t change the past for him. He’s got to cope with the reality of his situation now.”
Janie turned tear-filled eyes on Julia. “But he’s the only family I’ve got left in the whole world. If something’s really wrong in his life, I need to find some way to help him.”
“When my mother died, I felt completely alone until I came here and found my dad, so I understand how you feel.” Julia reached over and squeezed Janie’s right hand. “But unless you can get Dale to tell you what’s bothering him, I don’t know what you could possibly do for him.”
“I know. That’s what I keep coming back to, but prying information out of him is like cutting your own bangs in the mirror and getting them straight. The harder you try, the worse they look. Men are just such a pain sometimes.”
Thinking of Sam, Julia nodded in sympathy. “They can be. They certainly see a lot of things in a different light than women do. Sometimes I think the scariest thing today is realizing how much of the world men actually run.”
“Yeah,” Janie grumbled, “like they know beans about squat.”
Julia laughed at that remark. Janie joined in after a moment, and before long it became one of those silly lines that got funnier every time one of them repeated it mentally or verbally. When Virgil came along and asked them what they thought was so damned funny, it was all they needed to burst into a laughing fit. He stomped off, greatly offended, which, of course, only made them both laugh harder.
Melissa announced it was time for the vans to go back to town. After thanking the Norths for their hospitality, Julia and Janie climbed aboard the first one. The sun slipped behind the mountains to the west as the driver turned onto Center Avenue in Whitehorn.
“I’m going to miss you at work,” Janie said, turning to Julia with a sad smile.
“You’ll still see me,” Julia promised. “Once I’ve got my new job figured out, I’ll call you and we’ll get together.”
“Do you really mean that? Or are you just being polite?”
“We’re friends,”
Julia assured her. “We’ve gone way past the need to be polite with each other.”
The driver parked in front of the Hip Hop. Everyone piled out of the van. Janie gave Julia a hug.
“Thanks for listening today,” Janie said, then headed across Center Street to her car.
“Any time. That’s what friends are for,” Julia called after her, then headed to her own parking space around the corner on Amity Lane.
Her little car sat right where she’d left it, but to her surprise, a large, handsome man wearing black jeans and a loose, fringed and beaded suede shirt had his tush braced against the driver’s side of the hood. His long legs were stretched out, ending in a shiny pair of cowboy boots. Leather ties wrapped the ends of his braids, his arms were crossed over his chest and his face bore an expression that suggested he intended to wait on this spot until he got what he wanted or hell froze over, whichever came first.
Sam heard Julia’s voice a minute before she came around the corner, giving him just enough time to settle himself into a nonchalant pose. He’d had a long, miserable day without her, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to know that. A man had to have a little pride, didn’t he?
Damn, she looked good. Her ponytail was coming loose. Her clothes were rumpled and grass-stained. She had an energetic spring in her step, though, and the sun-kissed glow of someone who’s spent a great day outside. She smiled when she saw him, and his heart promptly kicked into a higher gear.
“Hi, Sam,” she said. “You’re already back from Lame Deer?”
He unfolded his arms and stood up straight. “I didn’t go to Lame Deer.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“Changed my mind.” He stuck his fingertips into his back pockets and decided his pride could take care of itself. It hadn’t provided much comfort since they’d had that spat in her classroom. “I only wanted to go so I could spend the day with you.”
She shot him a surprised look, as if she hadn’t expected him to admit that much. “You could have done that at the picnic.”