They strolled toward the kitchen in companionable silence until he asked, “Are you feeling better today?”
“Better. I'm not as sore, but I think I may be coming down with a cold. I have a low fever and chapped lips.”
He stopped and put a hand on her arm stilling her. She turned toward him, and he placed his hand on her forehead. “Not terrible. Have you been drinking enough water? You need to push the water. Drink at least ten glasses a day.”
“Huh?”
“This cave is over five thousand feet high. You came from the city, and that's maybe thirty or forty feet above sea level. You could be suffering from a bit of altitude sickness. It would explain the lethargy and your chapped lips. You need to make sure you drink a healthy amount of water, rest, and it will pass.”
“But I've been here for almost a week.”
“It can take anywhere from three to six weeks to adjust. I'll make sure you take care of yourself.”
His fingers pushed her hair off her forehead in a tender sweep. His eyes held hers, and a shiver ran down her spine. And because she was suddenly struck stupid, she sighed, “Okay.”
“Your curls are soft.” Her hair fell out of his fingers. His eyes dropped down and he smiled at her. “Such a contradiction.”
“How so?” His eyes captivated her and that smile… His focused attention felt like the warmth of the sun after a winter’s freeze.
“So strong, so determined and yet, so soft and feminine.” He ran his fingers through her hair again.
“Mom! Dog's got my wet sock!”
Ryan dropped his hand and headed up the incline without a backward glance. “Dog, drop it!” His deep voice echoed in the cavern.
She blinked after him. Did that just happen? Bethanie spun on her heel and headed into the kitchen. She grabbed the serrated knife from the butcher block and sliced through the loaf of bread she'd baked. Her hushed rant spilled from her lips, “Don't be stupid. Don't you dare think he likes you. Life isn't easy. It never has been, it never will be.”
A rumble of Ryan’s laughter interspersed with Ethan's giggles rolled through the cavern. She smiled despite her concerns. Her son could use a positive role model, even if for a short period of time. And she could admire him from afar, like in the romance books she read. She could have her secret fantasies of being swept away by a knight in shining armor, and nobody would be the wiser. Her eyes bounced around the kitchen and up to the towering ceiling above her. She closed her eyes and pleaded, please let this be good for us. Please.
Chapter 13
In his office, Ryan glanced at the dead drop message again. 0-3@2000.
Moriah was going to call him at eight o'clock tonight. Laughter floated up from the cavern. Ethan was trouncing his mother in a game of War. He could hear them slapping their hands on the cards. He moved back to the office door and shut it, blocking out the lighthearted sounds.
He sat back against the chair and waited for the phone to ring. Bethanie and Ethan had been with him for two weeks. They'd settled into a routine. He and Ethan would clear snow every morning. They'd sled or work on the ice fort they were building in the afternoon. Bethanie remained hypersensitive to the cold. A brush with frostbite would do that to a person. So, he and Ethan spent hours together every day. The kid was smart, and for the most part, he wasn't obnoxious. He had his moments when he didn't get his way or was tired, but overall the kid was okay.
At night after the kid went to bed, he and Bethanie would read or visit, mostly a combination of both. The woman’s knowledge of botany, the medicinal uses of herbs, barks and edible plants was extraordinary. He had several volumes of books that described the botanical properties of assorted flowers and plants. He’d used them to work up a natural poison for Anubis. The books had been buried in one of his boxes. He’d pulled them out and you’d think he’d given her the crown jewels. Hell, she treated those hardback books as if they were more valuable than all the gems in the Tower of London.
Bethanie was bright and funny, but to his surprise, he’d found she had unexpected areas of innocence in more ways than one. From their conversations, he'd learned she'd only ever been with Ethan's father and their relationship was severely deficient in warmth or affection. That bastard had done a number on her, of that he had no doubt. Still, she was a romantic and believed everyone deserved to be loved. Ethan was a lucky kid. If Ryan’s mom had an ounce of Bethanie’s compassion, maybe his life would have turned out differently. Not that he would change anything, but the possibility of having that kind of love lavished on you? Damn, it made a person think.
And brother, did he. His thoughts alone in his bed at night were about the things he could teach her, the pleasure he could show her, and then he'd jack himself back into reality. Literally. She didn't need someone like him in her life. Life for both of them was complicated enough.
Ryan clicked on the weather forecast and smiled. More snow over the next ten days. Fuck it, he was looking forward to another two weeks of baked goods. Bethanie knew her way around flour and sugar.
He’d be a fucking liar if he didn’t admit he wanted her. He’d found reasons to be near her, to casually touch her. There was a mutual attraction, that wasn’t in doubt. Her responses to his carefully timed and carefully constructed caresses were proof positive he affected her. She never shied away. In fact, lately, she’d been initiating the contact. He wanted her in his bed, here in his cave and yeah, he even wanted the kid to be here. Ethan was a kick in the ass.
The light on the desk phone illuminated. He picked up the phone, turned the key to encrypt his end of the conversation and waited for the subsequent clicks from her end.
“You there?” Moriah's deep, sexy, voice came across the connection.
He felt an odd disassociation. The reality of talking to Moriah wasn't the intimate sharing he'd once anticipated. There was no urgency. A subtle sense of resignation set in. “I am.”
“Yeah, about your safe house. Wasn't personal. Needed to protect the kid and his mom.”
“So I was told. Explain to me what the fuck is going on.”
He heard her sigh. He wouldn't push because that got a person exactly nowhere with Moriah.
“Between us and no farther.”
Like she needed to preface the conversation. “Care to insult me again?”
“Aw, fuck you, very much. Touchy, aren't you?”
Obviously, he was, which bothered him more than he cared to let on. “Do you have information for me or not?”
“Kid's father was deep in Stratus before he was nixed. We captured one of the Fates, at least we believe we did. I'm not sure if that's been validated.”
Ryan leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. “And?”
“Word on the street is there is a sweep going on. People who were associated with Harvey Simmons are being eliminated.”
"Hold the fucking phone. What last name did you say?"
"Caught that, did you? I said Simmons." Moriah almost chuckled.
"Well, fuck me standing."
"Nah, been there, done that." Moriah was laughing now.
"Give me a minute here, you knew all this time? She introduced herself as Clark."
"Wouldn't you? Who would want to be related to that son of a bitch."
"Related..." Ryan closed his eyes and dropped his head onto his desk. "Harvey Simmons, he's the father of those two guys on Alpha Team. The pilots, the ones that work at the ranch in the middle of nowhere."
"Ah, see, gossip does travel even to the remote regions of South Carolina."
"North Carolina."
"Potatoe, Patotoe." Moriah singsonged.
"Thanatos was talking about the ranch. Mentioned they worked out there now, but I thought one of them was killed?" He pulled in a deep lungful of air and sat back up. "So that is why Guardian considers them family." Bengal's wife's words made sense now.
"I heard both of them were killed. Then again if you believe what is being spread, we are dead, so this conversation isn
't actually happening."
"Never believe what you hear, and only half of what you see."
"Amen." Moriah agreed.
"So Stratus took out Simmons to cover their tracks. That makes sense.” He could see the logic in the play.
“Yeah. So those two with you need to stay low until Guardian figures out the why of the eliminations.”
“Again, makes sense. Are you out of the op now?”
There was a long pause. “Yeah, about that. I'm out of the op and, hey, surprise, I'm married.”
Lycos leaned forward, the small scratch on his desk became very interesting as his mind dealt with that little bombshell. “Since when?”
“A week or so ago.”
“Must have made an impact if you don't know the exact date. Was this by choice or did someone knock you up?”
“Fuck you, asshole and yes by choice.”
“To whom?”
“A dead man, figuratively speaking.”
“Care to explain that?” As she'd mentioned earlier, as Shadows, they were all dead. Had she married a Shadow?
“Can't even if I cared to share, and I don't.”
“Right. So, you've walked away?”
“Nah, I'm going to keep working.”
“Then he's one of us.” His mind flashed to Thanatos and Tempest. Surprisingly, there was no jealousy attached to the thought of her with one of the Shadows.
“Nope, he's a Guardian, but not one of us.”
He could tell by the way she spoke; this guy was special. That tone was not one she'd ever used around him. Time for a change of subject. “I get that the woman and kid need protection, but seriously, why did you give up my safe house?”
She laughed, that deep sexy sound came across the line. “Hell, that's easy.”
“Spell it out for me, as you noted, I’m being particularly dense today.”
“You'll take care of them.”
“What would make you think I'd want to take on a woman and a kid?”
“Ryan, I know you. Those two need you, and besides, this is what you've always wanted.”
“Excuse me? What I've always wanted?”
“A family. A traditional family. A wife, kids, and a future.”
“With my career, you and I both know that isn't a possibility.”
“Things change.”
“For you, maybe. Congratulations, by the way. I don't think I said that.”
“You didn't, but I didn't expect it. We left things...”
He chuckled, “Awkward?”
“Dead.” There was no laughter in her voice.
“True.” His voice fell. When she walked out, all hope of any kind of continued relationship had died.
“We were never meant to last. We were…” She hesitated.
He filled in the blank, “Convenient.”
“Ha, yeah, sucks but it was what it was. If it matters, I was sad it ended.”
He couldn’t believe she’d admitted that much. Feelings weren’t her strong suit. Or his, for that matter.
She added, “You deserve someone you can love. Someone who needs you to take care of them.”
“Unlike you.” Lycos chuckled when she growled.
“No shit. I’d cut your balls off and hand them to you if you tried that shit on me.” Moriah tossed that out there. Funny thing was, he didn’t doubt for a second she would try.
He stared at the wall in front of him. “It can never happen. Not for me.”
“You don't deny it.”
He blinked and shook his head although she couldn't see it. “Deny what? What we had was over? It is. It was. We both knew it wasn't right.”
“Yeah, no... I meant you didn't deny a wife and family was what you've always wanted.”
“With my past? Yeah, I'm father of the year material.”
“They would never need to know about it. Start fresh. Walk away from everything. Don't deny it's your dream.”
He rolled his shoulders. “Would it do any good to deny it? But enough about shit that isn't going to happen. Are you happy now? With your Guardian?”
“Completely. Strange as fuck, too, since we are speaking of shit we never thought was going to happen. Proof that it can.”
He ignored the last comment. “But you found him?”
“I did. He... he makes me want to be a better person, and if you give me any shit about that comment, you'll wake up with your throat slit.”
He laughed at her threat. She'd have to find him first. Not that she couldn't if she searched long enough, but it was an effort she wouldn't make because he wasn't that important to her. “I'm happy for you.” As he said the words, he realized they were the absolute truth.
“I need you to do me one last favor. Consider it a wedding gift.”
“What? My safe house wasn't enough?”
A short chuckle preceded her words, “No, I need you to open your eyes, my friend, then if you have enough balls, open your heart. I've learned letting people get close it isn't as lethal as we once thought.”
“At least for you.”
“Promise me.”
“If I could make that promise to anyone, it would be you.”
“Think about it.”
“Probably won't. Goodbye, Moriah.” He placed the phone in the cradle and turned the encryption key to the off position.
Without a conscious effort, he collapsed the antenna and powered down his computer. Moriah was married. He was... well, hell, he wasn't sure what square he was landing on right now, but one thing he did know, he was okay with it. They were done. His lingering hopes of reuniting with her were distant desires that stemmed from memories of their time together and not born of need, or desire, but... familiarity. He chuckled to himself and scrubbed his face with his palms. Oh, hell yeah, familiarity was a fucking firm foundation for a relationship, wasn't it?
He shook off whatever feelings Moriah's call had cast over him and headed down the incline. Dog's head whipped in his direction. For the last two weeks, the animal had been a permanent fixture in the house. He was Ethan's shadow, companion, guardian, and playmate. They'd built a rope out of old towels braided together. Dog would play tug of war with Ethan; however, the animal was so strong he literally pulled Ethan across the hardwoods. Ryan hadn't laughed that hard in years.
“Hi! Are you done with your work?” Ethan hopped up from the couch, bouncing in anticipation.
“I am. You can go get it.”
“Yay!” Ethan charged to the back door with Dog on his heels.
“You spoil him.” Bethanie’s soft words made him turn.
“Nah, snow ice cream is a necessity.”
“I've never heard of it.” Bethanie pulled her sweater around her slight frame. She smiled up at him. He loved the unguarded openness that had appeared over the last two weeks. He sat on the arm of the couch next to her and tucked the flop of unruly curls behind her ear.
“I don’t doubt it. Not much of a city thing.”
“That world seems so far away.” She leaned into his touch for a moment. Their eyes met and held.
Ethan slammed through the back door with a grunt. They both turned their attention to the back of the cave. Ryan patted her hand. Hers found its way on top of his. He smiled over at her. “Then you are in for a treat, too.”
Bethanie chuckled and marked the page of the book she was reading before leaning back against the couch. “The fireplace is hypnotic.”
He diverted his attention from her to the flames that consumed the wood. She set the book down next to her and they sat in companionable silence.
“What are you reading?”
“One of your botany books. I love the descriptions and the sections about known homeopathic remedies. I’d give anything to see this mountain in the spring and summer. The natural bounty literally at your doorstep is mind-blowing.”
He smiled at her, but it was hollow at best. Damn, he’d really like that. To have her and Ethan here in the summer. He’d love to take her through the f
oliage and show her the wonders of the mountain. The woman was an information sponge, just like her son. She absorbed the books, and they discussed the things she’d discovered. Intelligent? Hell, if the woman had access to education, there would be no stopping her. She was… bewitching. He was enchanted by her, which was dangerous and, only a few weeks ago, he’d have said it was incomprehensible. He should not have these thoughts about her. He shouldn’t care about the kid, either. He wasn’t supposed to care about his charges. Yet…
As he gazed at the fire, Ryan couldn't help noticing the total lack of discord, a discord he'd anticipated when the assets had been dropped in his lap. It had never fully materialized. Minus that one blow up the first morning, they'd coexisted. Hell, they'd even had fun. In fact, their time together was pleasant. Bethanie was vivacious, smart, witty, and sexy as fuck. He'd tried to shelve that last observation, but in close proximity, he couldn't help noticing the way her tight little body moved, the flash of her smile, or the glances she gave him when she thought he wasn't looking.
He’d thought it was him at first, but he’d noticed that she always seemed to be too close. But no, it was intentional. The soft brushes of his skin against hers were engineered, by her, and fuck him if he didn’t like it. He wanted to have her near. Wanted to touch her. She’d allowed him to see her interest, and fuck him if he didn't return it. She was like an energy force under his skin. He knew when she was close by, felt her presence when they worked together, and missed her when she wasn't with him and Ethan.
This need was a problem, actually, but one that would be resolved soon enough. They'd leave, and his life would revert to the solitude he loved. So why the little niggles of discontent every time he considered them leaving? He glanced back at the ramp leading to his office. He could picture his life going back to the way things had been for the last twenty years, returning to the isolation and insulation which prevented emotions from playing a role. In his line of work, emotions were weaknesses he had used to manipulate his targets.
He was in the business of killing people. To drag innocents like Bethanie and Ethan into that world would be unconscionable. Moriah and Bengal were unusual. They’d found a spouse in the business. Ryan sighed. Lightning rarely struck twice, and never three times. Bengal and Moriah were damn lucky.
Lycos (Guardian Security Shadow World Book 3) Page 12