Chapter 11
After we were done, I got changed out of my rock-chick outfit. I tried not to rush the process, but I found myself pulling my clothes on roughly, eager to feel more myself in a pair of jeans and my favorite old, worn leather jacket.
When we’d wrapped up, Johnnie had the audacity to try to kiss me again. On the mouth. I was becoming more and more glad Faith had been the one to leave him after their liaison on the night of my party. Lord knows he deserved the occasional bruising to his ego.
Fortunately I’d managed to twist out of Johnnie’s grip at the last second and his kiss had landed on my cheek instead. He’d actually looked wounded.
I’d given both Levi and Emilio a quick peck on the cheek to make a point: See? You all get goodbye kisses! Then I’d frozen when I realized that meant I had to kiss Gabe as well.
When I’d darted a look over at the drums, I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or deflated to see that he had already left the set and was somewhere else.
I finished dressing and went to scoop up my bag then shot it an annoyed glance. My cell phone was ringing from somewhere inside the bag. I really didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. I sighed and rifled through the contents so I could see who was calling. It was my publicist, Alana. For a brief second I considered letting it go to voicemail, but then I hit ‘accept’. She’d just keep ringing if I didn’t answer, or worse, pay my mother and I another visit at home.
“Hi, Alana.” I did my best to sound chirpy.
“Chloe. Well done. They’ve already sent me some stills from the shoot and it looks great. I’m so glad you decided to go through with it.”
“Me too.” I wasn’t good at holding grudges at the best of times. “It was a lot of fun,” I admitted.
“The images have captured that too, which is great. Do I have your permission to start releasing some of them to the media?”
“I’d like to see them first, but send them through and I’ll look at them as soon as I get home.” I wasn’t due back on-set until tomorrow for the movie Faith and I were filming.
“Great. You and Johnnie look like you kissed and made up.”
I rolled my eyes and it was probably just as well she couldn’t see me. “Not really. Johnnie’s just like that.”
“What? Hard to resist?”
“No! He’s so touchy feely. I honestly wish he’d just learn to keep his hands to himself. At least I know better now than to trust him.”
“This is all going to work out, you’ll see.”
“As long as you make it explicit that we are not an item, I hope so.”
“Are you sure you won’t change your mind on that?”
I had to give Alana points for trying. If Johnnie and I were a couple, it would create masses of publicity for us, but no way was I going there. Gabe, on the other hand? My contemplative smile faded. There was no chance of anything happening between us now after the mess with Johnnie.
“Absolutely not,” I told her. “As far as I’m concerned, Faith can have Johnnie Walsh all to herself.” I snapped my mouth shut and cringed. Whoops. Me and my big mouth.
“Faith Martin?”
I rushed to reply. “Johnnie was flirting with Faith the night of the party, that’s all.” That sounded plausible, didn’t it?
“Isn’t she a bit old for him?”
I tensed at her doubtful tone and immediately felt protective of Faith. “So long as she’s female and gorgeous, I don’t think Johnnie is worried about age.”
“No, that’s true. He didn’t seem worried about taking advantage of you.”
I coughed and felt my anger resurface. “Is that what everyone is saying?” God! When was I going to lose the innocent image? Maybe by the time I was thirty?
I heard Alana sigh. “No, it’s quite clear you’re kissing him back in the video, but there are some media outlets suggesting it was a questionable way for you to lose your virginity.”
“My virginity!” I inhaled a shaky breath and collapsed onto the nearby sofa because my legs suddenly felt weak.
“You know how it is. You grow up in the media there’s going to be a lot of attention when you come of age,” Alana continued, oblivious to my horror.
Alana’s casual explanation did not ease my distress. I knew better than anyone what constant media scrutiny was like, but I had never breathed a word to anyone about the ‘V-word’, least of all to her.
“I still don’t see how that topic has come up for discussion,” I told her.
“It was a steamy video, it’s kind of hard to avoid.”
I let out a cry of frustration but forced myself to lower my voice again. “But I dated Jayden!”
Jayden Cross was a young actor like myself. Years ago we’d starred in the same sitcom, School Daze, and we’d kept in touch ever since. We’d reconnected at a celebrity event when I was sixteen and discovered there was more between us than just friendship. Unfortunately, that ‘something more’ had never actually eventuated. We’d tried to date for about six months, but our hectic filming schedules had gotten in the way. We’d soon realized that whatever that ‘something more’ was, it wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
Of course the media had tried to turn it into a big story and there’d been rumors of him cheating—all lies. In fact, Jayden and I had stayed in touch and we used to message each other with the worst headline we could find about our tragic love story and laugh about it. Obviously I was deeply scarred by my first love.
“Two cute child stars getting together for a few months doesn’t equate to you losing your virginity in the media’s eyes,” Alana told me, cutting through my thoughts.
“Jayden and I were very close,” I persisted, not prepared to discuss my virginity with my publicist.
Alana snorted. “Not as close as you and Johnnie were at your party. Are you still sticking with the same response?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “You can tell them it was a heated kiss. That’s all.”
“You don’t need to be ashamed of the fact you’re a virgin, you know. We could approach the media with a story angle—”
“We what?” I put a hand to my head, because it suddenly hurt. How on earth did she know I was still a virgin? “I don’t remember ever discussing this with you, do you?” I continued. “And whether I’m a virgin or not is no one’s business, and that includes my publicist.”
“Your mother didn’t seem to think so.”
I was stunned into silence.
“Chloe.” Alana’s voice was almost gentle—if that was possible for a woman who appeared more like a mannequin than a human being. “Your mother and I have been working together for almost twenty years. It’s come up.”
I needed a new publicist. And I probably needed to tell my mother a whole lot less in future. For example, that time Mama had checked in to ensure I was taking the necessary precautions when I was with Jayden, I had blurted that we hadn’t done anything yet. We’d broken up shortly after and she’d obviously put two and two together that nothing serious had happened between us.
But now wasn’t the time to worry about any of that. “Fine. I’d prefer you didn’t know that piece of information but seeing as you do, make sure it stays private. Can you do that?”
“Yes, of course. But if I tell the media it was only a heated kiss with Johnnie, that’s going to imply you’re still a virgin. Is that what you want?”
I resisted a groan. She had a good point. No, I didn’t want everyone speculating about whether or not I was still a virgin, but I didn’t want Gabe thinking I’d slept with Johnnie either. “Fine. Our official response is ‘no comment’. Beyond that, let them speculate all they want.” Talk about a train wreck.
“Got it. Let me know which images you’re happy to use when you get back.”
“Sure. Bye, Alana.” I threw my cell into my bag, my hand shaking. After all the nerves about seeing Johnnie and Gabe again, I thought the day hadn’t gone too badly. Trust Hollywood to put a stop to any positiv
e feelings. Maybe that was why child stars turned to alcohol or drugs . . .
Nope. It wasn’t going to happen. I was far too practical. I already knew I loathed hangovers, and as for drugs, I hated who Damon became when he smoked pot. Harder drugs could hardly be an improvement.
Perhaps I could become a sex addict and go on a crazy manhunt for all the world to see.
I sighed. That didn’t appeal either. The sad truth was I had the good-girl reputation for a reason, and deep down I wanted my first time to be with someone special. Call me a romantic, but I kind of hoped that my first-time man might stick around for a while, too. I wasn’t sure I believed in forever love. I hadn’t had enough good examples growing up due to my parent’s rocky marriage—but a girl could dream, right?
The same way I hoped for a good guy for Faith, I wished the same for me as well. It wasn’t likely to be anytime soon on account of recent events, but I was still young.
I picked up my bag. I was done brooding. It simply took too much energy and it was far too depressing. Such was the life of an eternal optimist. Once I got home, removed my make-up, maybe did a half-hour on the treadmill, showered, and then rewarded myself with some food, I knew I’d be back to my normal self.
I slung the bag over my shoulder and turned toward the door. And froze.
“Gabe. What are you doing here?”
Chapter 12
I was so shocked to see Gabe standing in my dressing room doorway that it took me a few seconds to register his expression.
Anger rolled off him in waves and his gray eyes were so dark I swore I could see storm clouds in them.
“Gabe?” I said again, because I didn’t know what else to say. Had he heard me on the phone with Alana or was this about something else?
Gabe took a step into the room and shut the door behind him.
The space suddenly felt very small and it made no sense to me that, rather than feeling wary, I found his anger interesting. Every time I’d seen Gabe before, he had such an easy way about him. I couldn’t quite believe this was the same man.
“Did Johnnie take advantage of you?” His voice was gruff. Demanding.
I’d never seen him like this before. He stood perfectly still and all the usual motion was gone. No fingers thrumming out a silent rhythm only he could hear, no legs moving up and down.
“Excuse me?” I said, because I couldn’t quite make sense of the situation.
“Johnnie,” Gabe spat. “Did he take advantage of you?”
Time seemed to stand still and I stared at him. Now I understood. Somehow he felt responsible, which was sweet yet completely unnecessary. His fellow band member’s behavior had been inappropriate, but that wasn’t Gabe’s fault.
“It was a kiss, that’s all,” I assured him.
“It looked like more than that.”
I recalled Johnnie’s wayward hand and without thinking, waved my own hand in the air dismissively. “Oh, he tried, don’t get me wrong, but—”
Gabe stepped close and caught my wrist. “He tried to what?”
I stared at him holding me. His grip was firm but not hard. It was almost like he was hanging on until I gave him an answer.
“I slapped him.”
Gabe blinked.
“When he put his hand down my front, I slapped him.”
Gabe let go of my hand and rocked back on his heels.
“I know the video didn’t show that,” I continued, “but obviously whoever posted it figured there wouldn’t be much of a story if they left that in.”
“You slapped Johnnie?” Gabe said, sounding a little dazed.
“I enjoyed it too,” I said proudly. “We were both drunk and the stupid idiot insisted on giving me a birthday kiss. Obviously my idea of what constitutes a birthday kiss and his are a little different.”
“You slapped him,” Gabe repeated, but it wasn’t a question this time.
“I can slap him again if you like,” I offered. “Or maybe you’d like to? I’d highly recommend it.”
Gabe took another step back like he was unsteady on his feet and ran a hand through his hair. Then he laughed. Soft at first, then the warm rumble grew into something louder, happier.
I grinned at him. “Does that answer your question?”
He pushed a hand through his hair again. “Yes. I’m sorry, yes. This is weird isn’t it?”
“No weirder than everyone watching me and Johnnie kiss.” Or discussing my virginity with my publicist, but I didn’t say that.
His laughter faded.
I immediately wished I’d kept my mouth shut.
“Have you been able to figure out who posted the video?” he asked.
“No, not yet. I have someone looking into it.” I knew Lena’s boyfriend, Marc, preferred to remain anonymous. “Not that it will make any difference. It’s out there now.”
There was a beat of silence before he replied, “How do you do it?”
“Do what?” I couldn’t identify his expression. Was it somewhere between wonder and respect, or confusion?
“Put up with all the media attention.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, it sucks sometimes, doesn’t it? Like now. But it is what it is. Surely you’re used to it? Gypsy Hour is huge.”
Gabe shifted from one foot to the other, still looking uncomfortable. “It’s not the same for me. Johnnie, yeah. He’s in the thick of it. Levi too. Me? I’m pretty unremarkable.”
“I disagree.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
We stared at each other until my chest felt tight with the effort of holding my breath. His eyes were lighter now and I recognized a spark of humor in them.
“Haven’t we had this conversation before?” he asked.
“Maybe. I’m not sure you were listening the first time.”
Oh my goodness. Were we flirting? And if we were, what did that mean?
“You did great on the drums earlier, by the way.”
The change of subject seemed to dissipate some of the tension and I wasn’t sure if it was deliberate.
“Thanks. Don’t take it personally, but I think I’ll stick to singing and piano.”
“I won’t.” There was another beat of silence. “So, ah, I might see you around at your place sometime.”
I stared again, not understanding. What was he saying?
“Your brother and I are going to jam,” he explained.
“You what?”
Gabe grinned and I tightened my grip on the strap of my bag.
“We’re going to jam together. He’s a damn talented drummer. I don't think he sees it.”
“He is?”
Gabe laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, he is. You sound surprised.”
I struggled to find the right words. “I mean, I could tell he’s not bad, but Damon’s never really found his thing, you know? He was too shy to try acting. He had a go at art and he was into video production for a while. But I guess the drums and the music thing has lasted the longest.”
“Well, I’m telling you he’s good. He should stick with it.”
I could feel my cheeks color with pride for my brother. “Thank you. That means a lot. And spending some time with Damon is going to mean the world to him.”
Gabe shrugged. “It’s not just for him. I get to jam with him, too. Try out some new songs.”
I frowned. “Why wouldn’t you do that with Johnnie and the others?”
Gabe shrugged again, but this time the movement appeared stiff. “We’re not writing at the moment and the dynamic is different. It’s nice just to play for the enjoyment of it for a change.”
I wondered if there was more to it than that. From what I’d seen, Johnnie seemed to run the show and maybe that frustrated Gabe. Or maybe it was like he said—nice to do something different for a change.
“Well, Damon will love it.”
“Sure.” He looked at his feet, one of which was back to its old antics. He glanced at me, then looked away again. “So, ah, I might see you aro
und, then.”
It wasn’t a question, but why did it feel like it was?
“I’m filming at the moment, but I’ll stick my head in if I get a chance,” I promised.
Gabe nodded, his foot still tapping and now his thumb joined in, thrumming against his thigh.
He was so different to Johnnie. It made me wonder how they’d ended up in the same band together. Gabe was sweet and self-deprecating, almost shy at times, and the earlier anger I had witnessed was of the protective variety.
Before I could think about what I was doing, I stepped in and placed a hand on his shoulder. I felt Gabe still and we were almost cheek-to-cheek. He didn’t look at me, but I could tell he was trying hard not to.
“Thank you,” I whispered. Then I leaned in and put my lips to his cheek.
The lyrics to their song filled my mind:
One kiss is all it took.
It was meant to be a chaste kiss, my way of showing I was grateful for his concern, but a spark of something bright and hot shot through me as my lips grazed his rough cheek.
He must have felt it too because I heard him inhale a tight breath. His voice sounded just as tight when he spoke. “What for?”
“For looking out for me. I appreciate it.” My lips were close to his ear and I swore I could have just stood there all day, breathing in the scent of him.
He nodded. An almost imperceptible shake of the head, like he was scared to move. Was I going crazy or was he as affected by me as I was by him?
“I’m glad you’re OK,” he said softly.
“My reputation may not be,” I joked. I’d been about to add that I was fine, but the words stopped in my throat when his hand came up to rest on top of mine.
“Your reputation is safe with me.”
There was sincerity in his tone that made me ease back and look at him. Our eyes met and I was lost. I had no words. Nothing. The insane thing was, I couldn’t have cared less about my reputation when it came to Gabriel da Silva. If that video had been of the two of us, I’d have been celebrating. How twisted was that?
His fingers were warm on mine and the contact was making me light-headed, which was why my next words slipped out before I could stop them. “I wish it had been you giving me that birthday kiss.”
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