by Wild, Nikki
“Where the hell is she?” I shouted. “Where’s Sarah? God damn it, where is she?!”
Billy coughed and shook his head, then pointed to his right. “She was a few feet next to me.”
Leaving Billy in the care of the patrolman, I started searching, digging around in the snow every few feet. Finally, I found one of her ski poles, and I started digging in that area, yelling her name the entire time. When I finally found her, she was completely buried beneath the snow.
“I need some help!” I shouted, digging without even looking back to see if anyone had heard me. But, seconds later, the patrolman was next to me again, helping me uncover Sarah. When we finally pulled her out, she wasn’t breathing.
The man pulled open her jacket, leaning down to press his ear to hear chest. “She’s still got a heartbeat!”
I pushed him out of the way and straddled her hips, performing CPR. It’d been many years since I’d practiced, but I still remembered the lessons from my Boy Scout days as if they’d been just last week. My own heartbeat rose with each passing second, my body beginning to shake.
“Come on, Sarah,” I said as I pressed down on her chest before leaning over to push more air into her lungs. “Come on. You can do it.”
Time stood still as I continued performing CRP on Sarah. All I could do was think of the things I wished I’d said to her back in the room. All the things I wanted to tell her now.
Her body arched as she sucked in a gasp of her, choking and sputtering as she did so. She still didn’t open her eyes, but she was breathing now, which was definitely a good sign.
“Oh thank god!” I lifted her gently and hugged her tight, not wanting to ever let go with her.
The patrolman said something into his walkie-talkie. I was too busy crying to pay much attention to what he said until he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Take her down the mountain. They’ve got an infirmary set up down at the lodge. I’ll wait here with the other one until someone else can get up here to bring him back down.”
I nodded, carrying Sarah over to the snowmobile, being careful not to jostle her too much. My heart still pounded, threatening to leap from my chest and make its way down the mountain without me. Luckily the snowmobile had straps to hold her in, else she’d have probably fallen right out.
“They’ll be waiting for you when you get down there. Just take it easy and try not to hit too many bumps.” Even the patrolman looked panicked and worried, which just made me feel even worse.
I patted him on the shoulder and smiled, glad for his help. Even though I was sure I wasn’t his favorite person in the world right then, he’d done his best to help me find Sarah. For that, I would be eternally grateful. “Thank you so much.”
He nodded. “Just be careful.
Once I was sure Sarah was secure and not going anywhere, I hopped back onto the snowmobile and made my way back down the mountain. The trip down took much longer than the one up, since I had to be careful with Sarah on the back.
I was halfway down when two ski patrol snowmobiles zipped by my, heading in the direction I’d just come from. At least they wouldn’t have to wait up there too long, though I wouldn’t have minded if Billy had been left up there for the rest of the day.
The fucker deserved it for almost getting my sister killed.
Like the patrolman had said, they were waiting for me when I pulled up in front of the lodge. Two medics rushed over when I came to a stop and immediately began loading Sarah onto a stretcher.
I jumped off, waiting to help if they needed it. But the two loaded her with easy, as if they’d done this a million times. Even as we walked, they were taking her vitals, checking her breathing and heartbeat.
“Is she going to be okay?” I asked, following them into the lodge. Part of the lobby was cordoned off for a small infirmary, white cloth blocking the inside from view.
“We’re not sure yet.” When I tried to follow him into the tent, he put a hand on my chest to stop me. “we’ll let you know as soon as we know something. You need to wait out here.”
Before I could open my mouth to respond, Craig was at my side, pulling me to a group of chairs and couches where most of the guys sat. I hadn’t even noticed them when I’d walked in, nor the group of onlookers that had gathered in the lobby to see what was going on. “Come on, man. Let the medics to do their job. Okay?”
Numbly, I nodded. She’d started breathing again. That had to be a good sign right? That had to mean she was going to be okay. I tried to focus on that, tried to focus on all the good outcomes. She hadn’t been under the snow all that long, so chances were, she would be just fine, I told myself.
What the hell was I going to do if something happened to her?
I’d only just gotten to know her. Even though we’d lived together for the past few years, it wasn’t until this week that I really began to pay attention to her. We’d been friendly, sure, but we’d always pretty much existed separately, only coming together when we had to.
Now though… I couldn’t imagine life without Sarah at my side any more. I didn’t care what my father or Craig or Billy or anyone else thought. I loved Sarah and would do anything I could to be with her for as long as possible.
Even if that meant moving across country. Even if that meant giving up everything and starting over from scratch. If it meant I’d have Sarah by my side, then I would do it all without a second thought.
Craig tried to get me to sit, but all I could do was pace. Once again, I felt useless, helpless. I hated not being in there with her, at the very least holding her hand and letting her know she wasn’t alone. Yet, all I could do was stand out here and wait.
When the lodge doors opened and Billy walked through them, everything inside me boiled up at once. This was all his fucking fault, yet he was fine, like nothing had even happened, while Sarah was in there fighting for her life.
I stalked over to him, my hands balling into fists. When I approached, he opened his mouth to speak just as I swung my first, hitting him in the side of the head and knocking him to the ground. Before I could do anything else though, Craig was there, grabbing my arm.
“Chill dude,” he whispered into my ear. “This isn’t going to help anything.”
Despite Craig’s words, anger still flooded through my veins. I glared down at Billy, wanting to pummel him into oblivion. It was only due to Craig holding my arm that I didn’t.
“This is your fucking fault!” I shouted at him, unable to hold back. “It’s because you she’s in there. What the fuck were you thinking, taking her out on the backcountry like that? Even if there hadn’t been an avalanche, you knew she was a beginner! She never should’ve been out there!”
Billy flinched, holding a hand to his face where I’d struck him. “Look, I’m sorry man. I know it was stupid. I wasn’t thinking okay? I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
I glared at him, not yet ready to accept his apology, by my anger had subsided enough that I no longer felt the urge to pummel him until his was as red as his jacket. Craig seemed to sense this and released my arm, taking a step back.
Still though, I didn’t want him near Sarah. I didn’t even want him to look at her, much less speak to her. Not only had he nearly gotten her fucking killed, but he’d thought it was a great idea to go out on the slopes with her only minutes after he’d tried to fucking blackmail me.
Fucking asshole.
“Stay away from her, okay? I don’t want you going anywhere near Sarah ever again, do you understand?”
Billy nodded, frowning down at the grounded. Then he looked up again, his gaze darting from me, to Craig, to the rest of the guys. “Look… Can I talk to you in private for a moment?”
I frowned, but nodded, not quite sure I wanted to hear what he had to say. But at least in private, if he said something I didn’t like, I was free to knock his head off without Craig standing there to stop me.
Craig patted me on the back. “I’ll be over with the guys.” He glanced over at Billy and frowned. �
��Try not to kill him, okay? I don’t feel like explaining to your old man why you’re in jail.”
I snorted. Jail was the least of my concerns right now, but I nodded anyway. If I was in jail, I wouldn’t be able to be there for Sarah, which meant, at the very least, I wouldn’t kill him today. Maybe bloody him a bit, but he’d be able to stumble back to his room after.
Billy lead me over to a corner, away from all the people, but still in full view of where the guys sat. Probably an insurance policy, I figured, just in case I decided killing him was a good idea.
“Look…. About this morning. I’m really sorry. What I said was stupid. I was angry and wasn’t thinking.” He ran a hand through his hair. “When we were out there? All she could do was talk about you. Yeah, she was pissed at you for something, but she still couldn’t stop talking about you.”
Blinking, I stood there, shocked. I’d expected she wouldn’t have wanted to even hear my name after this morning. Yet she’d talked about me the entire time? My heart swelled and I fought back a grin. That meant there was still hope for us.
That meant maybe she’d forgive me for being such an ass.
“I’ll delete the recording, I promise. And I won’t say anything to your father or anyone, okay?”
Nodding, I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “I still don’t want you around Sarah, okay? If she ever found out what you tried to pull, she’d kill you herself, understand? So go back to your room and don’t bother us for the rest of the trip.”
“Okay, I guess that’s fare.” He smiled sadly, then shuffled off toward his room.
I watched him go, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I hadn’t really cared if he’d told anyone, but it was still relieving to hear. At least now people would find out from me or her, not from his vindictive ass. That was one problem, solved, but I still had a bigger one to worry about, I thought as I looked toward the tent.
With a sigh, I went back over to the guys and flopped down onto the couch next to Craig. They all seemed to understand I wasn’t much in the mood to talk about anything, so we all just sat there in silence, waiting to hear that Sarah was okay.
Even sitting down, I couldn’t stay still. My knee bounced up and down. Just like when we’d been stuck in the cabin, there was nothing I could do. At least then, there were a few things I could do that helped, like chopping firewood and keeping the fire going.
But now… There was nothing I could do now except wait. Sarah was in the hands of the medics now, and until they were finished, there was nothing I could do. Why couldn’t they have at least let me sit with her and hold her hand? I could only imagine how disorienting it would be for her to wake up after that, surrounded by people she’d never even seen before.
Finally, one of the medics came out of the tent and looked around until he saw us. I was out of my chair in a flash, sprinting across the lobby to reach him.
19
Sarah
God, my head fucking pounded as I sat in the decided uncomfortable bed they’d laid me in. One of the medics shined a light into my eyes several times, nodding to himself as he did so. It’d been a bit disorienting to wake up in a tiny tent surrounded by people I didn’t know, but at least now I had my bearings.
“Well, it looks like you’re going to be okay,” he said, smiling at me. “You’re going to need a bit of rest, but there shouldn’t be any lasting damage. If I were you, I’d spend the rest of your trip up in your room, watching TV and ordering room service. No more skiing for you, at least not for a while.”
I nodded. No more skiing for a while sounded like an excellent plan to me. The doctor may have said I was fine, but my entire body still ached like I’d been hit by a minivan. Right that moment, lying in bed for a few days sounded like heaven.
The doctor stepped out of the tent while a nurse handed me a warm cup. “Hot cocoa.” She smiled. “It’ll help warm you up.”
“Thank you.” I returned her smile, then took a sip, savoring the sweet taste as it slid down my throat, warming me almost instantly. The hot chocolate was perfect, just hot enough to warm me up without burning my insides. They’d even put tiny marshmallows in it for me.
When the tent opened again, I was surprised to see Nathan standing there instead of the doctor. The nurse politely excused herself while Nathan ran over to me, wrapping his arms around me and almost covering himself in hot chocolate in the process.
“God, I was so worried about you.” He buried his face in my neck, and for a few moments, it sounded like he was crying. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
I put my arms around him and pulled him tight, glad to once again be in his embrace. Earlier, I’d wanted to get out of here and away from him for a little while, but now I didn’t want to ever be separated from Nathan ever again.
“I’m sorry I went off without you,” I said, fighting back my own tears. I’d been so foolish to leave when I came out of the shower and found the room empty. But I’d been so pissed at him for walking out on me. I thought for sure he’d never want to see me again after I’d gotten all clingy this morning.
But Nathan shook his head. “This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I’m so sorry for trying to push you away this morning. I should’ve just told you how I felt. I should’ve told you how much I love you, how much I want to be with you.”
“It’s okay, I understand.”
Nathan had a lot to lose by being in a relationship with his step-sister. I couldn’t really fault him for not wanting to give up his entire life just for me, especially not after a few days of being together. I’d been foolish, thinking with my heart and not my head.
I’d turned into one of those clingy girls that I’d tried so hard to avoid.
“No, you don’t understand.” He pulled away from me and took a deep breath, looking right into my eyes. “I love you, Sarah. I don’t want things to be over between us. I don’t want to go back to how we were before this trip. I don’t want to live my life without you in my arms anymore.”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. Was he really saying what I thought he was? No, it had to be my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe I’d hit my head harder than the doctors thoughts. This had to be an illusion or a hallucination or a dream or something.
“I love you, Sarah, and I don’t care who knows. I don’t care what my friends think. I don’t care what my father thinks. As long as I have you, I know I can get through anything that comes my way.”
“You… you really mean that?”
When he nodded his head and pulled me back against him, it was my turn to cry as I buried my face into his chest.
This morning, I’d wanted him to at least consider taking our relationship to the next level. This though… this was far beyond what I’d even hoped for. To have Nathan confessing his love to me was something I’d expected to only happen in my dreams.
“You’re not just saying that because I almost died, are you?”
“God no. I’d gone back to the room earlier to apologize and tell you how much I loved you, but you’d already left. When I found out you’d gone up on the mountain with Billy and that there’d been an avalanche…” He took a deep breath. “God, I was so scared. I thought I might never get to see you again, that I’d never get to tell you I loved you.”
“I love you too, more than anything.”
My entire body tingled as the words left my mouth. I’d known last night that I loved him, but I hadn’t dared saying it out loud. I’d been so scared that if I’d told him I loved him, he’d have dumped me in a hot second for a girl who didn’t fall in love with the first guy she slept with.
But maybe if I had taken a chance and told him, none of this would’ve happened. I definitely would’ve liked to avoid getting trampled by a metric ton of snow.
As he held me in my arms, I realized I wouldn’t go back and change things, even if I could. I had Nathan now, and we were closer than ever. Even with all the aches and pains and bruises, it was all worth it.
After a few more min
utes, Nathan pulled away and slipped off his jacket, handing it to me. “You might wanna put this on before we go out there.”
It was only then that I looked down and realized I was wearing only my bra. I’d completely forgotten the doctors had needed to cut my shirt off when they brought me in. Blushing I accepted the jacket and slipped it on, zipping it up to cover myself.
Once I was decent, Nathan offered me his hand to help me down from the bed. Then, he pulled me into his arms again and kissed me, his arms tight around my waist, like he was never going to let me go.
It wasn’t until the guys had surrounded us that I realized Nathan was still holding my hand. I tried to pull it free, but he wouldn’t let go, grinning at me the entire time. None of them even seemed to notice though. They were all too busy asking how I was and if I needed anything.
“I have everything I need,” I said smiling over at Nathan.
They all looked at my curiously, but didn’t comment. Then, Nathan turned to face me and pulled me into his arms, kissing me right in front of everyone. It wasn’t a soft, chaste kiss either, certainly not one you’d give you sister. It was fiery and full of passion, his tongue pushing into my mouth for just a brief moment.
When he broke the kiss, everyone was staring at us, their mouths hanging open in shock. My face flushed, and I looked at the ground. Nathan had said he didn’t care who knew about us, but I hadn’t been expecting him to tell everyone right away. And not like that!
But he didn’t seem to be the least bit ashamed or embarrassed about what he’d just done. Instead, he grinned broadly at everyone, his hand still wrapped firmly around mine.
“I guess there’s a few things we need to fill you guys in on,” he said, still grinning like an idiot.
Craig slapped him on the back of the head. “I’ll say! How long were you two planning on keeping this a secret from us?”
Nathan and I shrugged at the same time, neither willing to admit that, before today, we hadn’t been planning on telling anyone. Before today, neither of us were even sure we’d be together after the week was over.