by Anna B. Doe
God, I miss him so much.
I miss him and I hate him.
Both at the same time.
How crazy is that?
“It could have been worse.”
“How?”
“There could have been naked pictures of you posted all around school.”
I laugh, although there is nothing funny about it. Actually, the thought of seeing naked pictures of myself or anybody else shared around the school makes me nauseous. But, the sad part is, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear something like that happened to someone somewhere. We live in a world filled with crazy, hateful people.
“I guess so.”
Max’s hands move up my hands and onto my shoulders. He gives me a soft squeeze and he bends his head down.
For a split second, I think he’ll kiss me. His head comes close to mine. His grey eyes look at me with tenderness. One of his hands is on my cheek, cupping it and holding me still.
I inhale sharply, breath getting stuck in my throat as I look at him moving closer.
My heart starts beating so fast in my chest, that it’s crazy. Max isn’t interested in me like that. No way.
Instead of actually kissing me, his lips land on my forehead. A hard press of soft skin makes me close my eyes. It’s soothing and consoling. Not a lover’s kind of kiss. It’s more like a friend’s, a brother’s.
“What do you think you are doing, Sanders?”
Derek
The door of the car shuts behind me, the sound echoing in the silent night. Nervously, I wipe my hands against the sweats as I turn around and start walking towards the front porch.
I’m not supposed to be here, and I’m sure whoever opens the door won’t be happy to see me, but I have to see her. Amelia hasn’t been in school the last few days.
The last three days.
I know I was looking for her, waiting to see her beat-up car come to the school parking lot, waiting for her to step inside of the school hallways, waiting for her to enter one of our shared classes or cafeteria … only, she never showed up.
Lifting my eyes from the floor, I see two figures standing in front of the house.
The light that illuminates the space is casting shadows around them, but I can clearly see two people hugging there.
At first, I think its Amelia’s parents, except the guy is taller and has dark hair and the girl … even the soft light is making her hair shine like fire.
“What do you think you are doing, Sanders?” My voice comes out hard, almost like a growl. My fingers clench by my side so hard that I can feel my nails digging into soft flesh.
Took him long enough to come and save the day like the fucking hero he is.
Amelia practically jumps out of his arms like his touch burned her. Or maybe it’s just the sound of my voice messing their perfect moment together.
Sanders, on the other hand, lets his fingers linger on her body as he turns slowly to face me. His stance is relaxed, the smirk he gives me is provoking, but the way his dark eyes look at me, hard and unforgiving, tells me he’s anything but relaxed.
He’s pissed at me, and I can’t blame him because I’m pissed at me too, but he doesn’t know shit about what has happened so he shouldn’t put his nose where it doesn’t belong.
“What do you think you are doing here, King?”
Sanders stands in front of Amelia, shielding her. From me. Like she needs protection from me.
I think this whole situation shows that she does.
“I don’t think you are welcome here.”
His hands are crossed over his chest, and I grit my teeth in frustration. Standing on the front porch he has the advantage of height. However, I’m not that easily intimidated.
Mimicking him, I stare him right in the eyes. “I’m here to talk with Amelia, not you.”
Sanders doesn’t even blink. “I don’t think she wants to talk to you.”
“I don’t think you are the one deciding.”
“And I don’t think you should talk about me like I’m not even here,” Amelia protests behind her human shield, but he doesn’t give her a chance to come around.
“You should go.”
“And you should move away. This is none of your business.”
“Amelia’s my friend. Of course it’s my business.”
“You don’t know shit for it to be your business.”
I’ve taken those few steps that are separating us, so now we are standing nose to nose.
We are both pissed at each other. The air around us is filled with tension and anger that built over the course of the last few weeks, boiling slowly until it’s ready to blow in our faces.
I guess today’s the lucky day.
His grey eyes are narrowed at me, and mine at him. I knew from our last fight that he is a decent opponent. With similar height and built, there are no guarantees who will be the winner once we get down to it.
There is also the fact that we both want the same thing, and it isn’t in our nature to share. The strange thing is—we are as similar as much as we are different. That’s the main reason we can never be friends.
“Just go home, King.”
The way he says it, he almost sounds tired.
“Not until I talk to Amelia.” I stick a finger to his chest, hard, just to make my point clear.
He shoves me back, making me sway on the heels of my feet. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Sanders’ fist connects with my cheekbone before I can even blink. The pain burns and eats at my skin. I can already feel a bruise forming under my eye.
“Max! Derek!” Amelia yells at us. “Stop it, now!”
Ignoring her completely and without waiting a second, I swing back at him. Sanders dodges my right hook, but the left safely connects with his gut making him bend forward.
What follows is a blur of punches and movements. We end up all over each other, I’m not even sure who tackled who, but soon we are rolling on the floor, battling for the advantage of being the man on the top.
For each hit I deliver, I get one back. We don’t hold anything back. It’s like all the pent up anger has finally passed the limit of being held back. The last straw.
There is commotion and yelling around us, but we are too stuck in our own world.
“What do you two punks think you are doing?” Amelia’s father’s hard voice freezes us both. “Get up and get off of my property. Now!”
Both Sanders and I stay down on the ground, staring at each other before we move and do as the man said.
“Mr. Camp-,” we start at the same time, but he interrupts us with one sharp, decisive move of a hand.
“I don’t fucking care.” He shoves his meaty finger hard in my chest first, then Sanders’. “You two are acting like immature, stupid, and hormonal thirteen years old boys, but I’m having none of it in my house. Now, go before I call the cops.”
During his tirade, he helped us move down the stairs. Or more like his big hands land on our shoulders and push us off his front porch.
Now he is standing where only a few minutes ago Sanders was. Hands crossed over his chest, blocking our way into the house, and anybody that could be behind, not leaving us another option than to leave.
I’ve seen Peter Campbell only a few times, but he doesn’t seem like a guy you would mess around with. He works as an architect and is always busy working on some kind of a project.
He has a few inches over me and has bulky built. His strong jawline is tightened and covered in 5 o’clock, reddish-brown stubble that matches the color of his short hair. Dark eyes that, if I don’t know better, are filled with disappointment and carefully following our every move.
“I don’t want to see you around anymore,” he calls after us, and I can clearly hear him mumble—something about today’s kids and their lack of manners or some shit like that—as I walk away.
Derek
“What do you think you are doing here?” Standing in the middle of the doorway, I cross my hands ov
er my chest. “And you bring my best friend as a backup, no less.”
“Move aside, you idiot,” Andrew shoulders his way inside, leaving me standing by the door half shocked as both he and Max move into my house.
The bag of half-melted peas is hanging from my hand.
I’m lucky that both of my parents are working the night shift at the hospital so I won’t need to explain my blue eye, cut lip, and bruised cheek to them until later tomorrow. That is if Mr. Campbell didn’t already call them and complained about the fight.
Snapping out of it, I follow behind them to the living room where Max puts the six-pack of beer I didn’t see him carry on the table. Taking one can out of the pack, he flops down on the couch and presses the cool object to his swollen eye. Andrew follows suit, flopping into the recliner.
Max doesn’t look any better than me. Apart from the eye, his lip is swollen and there is one cut on his eyebrow.
“You smirk all you want, but Jeanette is pissed like hell.” He smirks right back at me. “So if I were you, I’d keep close attention to my family jewels.”
“You are such a big pussy you have to hide behind your little sister’s skirt, pretty boy?” I taunt him.
My ribs hurt like a bitch, and the bruise is already forming there, so I slowly slide into the other recliner, holding back the wince. It’s the pride. I won’t let him see he’s done more damage than what can be seen on the surface. Reaching for the can, I pop the lid open and take one long swallow.
“Booooys,” Andrew drawls out slowly, rolling his eyes at us.
“What?” Max shrugs innocently. “Anette didn’t take kindly to his messing with my handsome mug.” His fingers softly touch damaged skin. “And I like to give her her fair share of fun every once in a while. She’s less bitchy that way.”
“Less bitchy? I’d like to see that.”
He gives Drew a hard stare. “We didn’t come here to talk about Anette.”
“Then why are you here? I don’t remember inviting you.” I look between the two of them. “Any of you.”
“Do I look like I give a shit?” Max groans as he shifts to get in a more comfortable position on the couch. “You’ll be thanking me by the end of the night.”
“Hardly.” The desire to laugh out loud at his self-confident statement is big, but I manage to muffle the sound.
Bracing my hands on the armchair, I start to get up, but his next words make me rethink my decision. “I don’t think you did it.”
“Did what?” My eyes narrow at him, and I sit back down.
“I don’t think you were messing with that girl behind Amelia’s back.”
This time I laugh, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. “Now you believe me? After you deliberately didn’t let me talk to Amelia just a couple of hours ago and now we are banished from her house?”
“Hey, I never said I was smart. I’m the pretty twin, remember?”
“Right, go figures. I always get stuck with stupid people.” This time I get off of the couch. “If that’s all, you can go now.”
“Don’t be a dick. Sit down and tell us how you got yourself in this shit anyway.”
I run my hand through my already messy hair and walk to the window.
It’s dark outside, only the frail light of the moon illuminates the backyard and I can hear the soft howl of the wind from the outside.
“You may think I’m a dick, and you would be right, but Amelia… She’s something special. She always was.” I swallow hard and my hands grip the windowsill. “She reminds me of the fire: light, bright, caring. Sometimes, when we were younger, she would look at me, or smile, and I’d feel ten feet tall. And she started to do it again. She just started to look at me like that again.”
I gulp down my nervousness, drying my sweaty hands against my pants. My back is still turned to my friends, and I can feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to continue.
Opening up and sharing my feelings … it has never been my thing. I feel like a pussy, but I don’t want to suppress those words. I don’t want to make what Amelia and I had … what Amelia and I have seem cheap because it’s not. She’s so much more. Deserves so much more. And for her, I’ll try to be a better person. A better man.
“Of course something shitty had to happen then. We just returned from the away game last Saturday. I texted her the day before to come to my house that afternoon to work on our project, which was actually just a ploy to get her to my house while my folks were out. Getting pizza, watching movies and a little bit of making out. It was supposed to be like that. Simple. Easy.” I shift uncomfortably, turning to look at them.
“I came home, and I went straight to the bathroom. I just had enough time for a quick shower before she was supposed to show up. I got out of the shower and heard the doorbell ring. Thinking it was her and that she probably waited for me a while, I just put that damn towel around my waist and went down. You can imagine my surprise when I opened the door and saw Diamond’s friend’s there. She squealed and jumped at me, almost knocking me to the floor. When I finally got her off of me and out of my house, I explained that it was some kind of mistake and I didn’t invite her to my house. Although, she swears she got my message. Then she playfully told me not to worry and that we could hang out next time before she plastered her lips all over mine, just when Amelia came out of her car. Too much of a coincidence don’t you think?”
Thinking about it made me angry all over again.
I know Diamond is messed up and she promised me she would get back at me for brushing her off. Maybe I deserved it, for all of my asshole behavior up until that moment, but Amelia didn’t deserve it. It makes my blood boil that, at the end of the day, Amelia was hurt the most by the whole situation.
Seeing her hurt and with tears in her eyes was like a punch to my gut.
No amount of Sanders’ boxing skills could hurt as much as seeing her broken like that. I guess Diamond did get her revenge in the end: her scheme hurt Amelia, which in return hurt me. Two birds in one stroke.
“So it was just Diamond playing games with both of you?” Sanders’ voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah.” I nod my head. “A while ago we hooked up and she thought that made us a ‘thing’. I kindly explained to her we weren’t, which she didn’t take well.”
“That bitch…”
“It’s my fault.”
We both turn our head to look at Andrew. I almost forgot he’s here because he didn’t say much since I started telling them my story. He just sat there and listened—something completely uncharacteristic for him.
“What do you mean it’s your fault?” I frown at him. The whole situation didn’t make much sense to me.
He swallows the lump in his throat before continuing. For the first time in god only knows how long, Andrew looks almost guilty.
“Diamond and I... We started hooking up a while ago.”
“What?” Max and I exclaim at the same time. We glare at each other before concentrating on Drew again.
What the hell? Drew and Princess Bitch?
Okay, maybe that’s unfair, because not that long ago I hooked up with her too, but still.
“Yeah, well. Anyway, she called me that day. You know how she can get. All flirty and shit. I invited her to come over once we get back. She asked if the whole team would be there for a party or small gathering, but I said it’s a two-people kind of party.”
“Okay, but how did she know when to send her vulture over, dude?”
“She laughed at my two-people party and asked why is that so? Because before, there was usually always some kind of party after we came back from away game. So I told her that guys were busy. Some with school some with girls.”
“Andrew,” I groan. My head falls back and hits the cushion.
“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think too much about it at that time with all of this happening.”
“She hates me, Drew.” I look at my best friend. “She hates me, and I don’t know what to say or
do to make it right.”
“I’m sorry.”
I know he’s sorry. I can see that. Andrew is always thinking about himself first and he never, ever apologizes. Not to anybody. This time, I know he really is sorry. He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t feel it. But him being sorry doesn’t change what happened. Doesn’t change the way Lia feels about me.
“What a bitch.”
“Yeah, well. Diamond will always be Diamond.” I turn around and face them. “Any idea how I can make this right?”
The smug smile appears on Max’s face.
Sanders stands and takes two beers from the table. He throws one at me, missing my head and almost breaking the window. “You would suck at football or baseball.”
I don’t know which one would be worse. Thank god I have quick reflexes, or Mom would kill me, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with my bruised face.
Sanders pops the lid on his beer and takes a pull. “I think I have an idea.”
Amelia
I walk through the hallways with my shoulder slumped and my head lowered. No matter how much I wanted to stay home, Mom wouldn’t let me, and even if she did let me, Brook or Max would probably come and drag my ass out of the bed. So here I am, back to trying to be invisible.
Today, just like the day before and the day before that, I skipped cafeteria. I didn’t have it in me to eat as much as I didn’t have it in me to spend a whole hour there trying to ignore curious stares and whispers from my classmates. So when the bell rang, I took my stuff and without looking up, started towards the library where I hid between bookshelves enjoying the silence and solitude.
It’s a shame that that hour always seems to pass too fast while the rest of the day, when I’m out there in the real world, drags slowly.
Two more classes and then I’m off the hook. I can go home and hide in my room until Monday.
I slip from the library with just enough time to go to my locker and switch the books.
“Dotty?” The voice behind me startles me and instead of slowly closing my locker the metal door bangs loudly.