Gemma then asked eagerly, "Have you set a date?"
"No. We've only been engaged since Thursday. I imagine it will be a while since it takes time to plan. I think we're going to need to do something here for my family and our friends here and something in England for Will's family and friends there."
Will looked at me as if he didn't like that answer.
I leaned over to him and whispered, "What did I say?"
He whispered back, "You said it would be a while. I don't want to wait too long if we don't have to."
I nodded in understanding and agreement. I felt the same way.
Stephen lifted his glass in a toast, "To the happy couple."
Will and I smiled, kissed, and each took a sip of champagne.
I looked over at Stephen and could see a little sadness in his expression as he must have realized that our impending marriage would break up their little group. I imagined that he wondered what he and Colin would do without Will. Will likely was the primary reason they were living in the Palisades. Although I was sure that Will would offer to make it so they could stay as long as they wanted, Stephen and Colin probably wouldn't accept Will's help. Although they were happy for Will, our marriage was going to be the end of their way of life as they had known it in California. I felt very guilty at that moment.
Kate and Gemma interrupted my thoughts and pulled me aside at that moment to ask me about the proposal.
"We had a feeling this was going to happen on your holiday," Gemma said before she let me tell the story.
"Really?" I asked with surprise. "I certainly had no idea. You couldn't have given me a warning?"
"Will never said anything. We just knew that this was what he wanted to do," Kate added.
I went on to tell them about being engaged to be engaged in Berlin and our actual engagement at the hotel in Berkshire.
"So he did it right," Kate said when I was finished. "I'm not surprised."
Will and I excused ourselves and went to bed soon after we had cake. It was the middle of the night for us in terms of our internal clocks.
We would have only one more day together before I had to start the grueling hours of an associate in a law firm. We then only had about a week after that before Will would be leaving to shoot Midnight 4. I worried about how we were going to handle that as I lay there in Will’s arms, knowing that the days until his departure would pass quickly.
We spent most of the next day in bed since we were tired, we didn’t want to leave the house in light of the crowd outside, and it was our last day together before I started work. I wished at that moment that I had postponed things another week, but it was too late now. My firm was waiting for me.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
The next day, Will drove me to work since my car was still at Rachael’s. Rachael would take me home with her after work so that I could retrieve my car. I tried to get an early start that first day of work although it was agreed that I didn’t need to be there until nine.
We were followed, of course. In bumper-to-bumper traffic, it was hard to lose the paparazzi. I had Will drop me in front of another building so that I could walk inside and prevent the paparazzi following us from seeing where I actually worked. Will kissed me goodbye, wished me luck, and promised to call me later. I waited in the lobby briefly to give the paparazzi time to pass the building and then headed off around the corner to my actual building.
My shoulders slumped when I got to my actual building and found a handful of paparazzi waiting. As I walked toward the entrance, I could hear the cameras clicking and the shouts of questions regarding when and where the wedding would take place. Building security kept them outside so I was fine once I entered the building. I hoped that, since the attorneys entered the office through the garage elevators, they wouldn’t know about this.
When I entered the suite, our receptionist told me that the phone had been ringing off the hook for me and that some were asking her to confirm my engagement.
She looked at my ring. “So it’s true?”
“Yes, but please don’t say anything. I’ll talk to Marie. Maybe she can screen my calls.” Marie was my secretary, a bubbly brunette with reddish highlights, and about ten years my senior.
As I walked down the hall toward my office, I passed Max’s office first. He was there. He looked up when he heard me and called out to me.
“I guess congratulations are in order?” He looked down at my ring. “Wow! Nice.”
“Does everyone know?”
“The ones who are here. Everyone will know soon enough.”
“How?”
“Well, a few secretaries were confronted by the press in front of the building asking if they worked with you and then asking when you were getting married.”
“Oh, no!”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it will calm down soon. Anyway, do I get to hug the bride?”
“Of course.”
“Congratulations,” he said as he hugged me. I could tell that there was a tinge of sadness there as if he was thinking about John.
John. I hadn’t seen him since the party after the Bar Exam. I didn’t know whether I should say something in person or not. I hoped that perhaps he was dating someone else by now. It had been a number of weeks after all.
I next walked by Daniel’s office and he called to me to give his congratulations. His were similarly tinged with sadness just as Max’s had been. I began to realize that John probably wasn’t dating anyone else right now.
John’s office was next in line and, as I walked by, I looked at him. He looked sad, but tried to perk up when he saw me. He called to me as well and then came and shut the door behind me when I walked into his office. He remained standing next to me.
“I guess I should congratulate you. Are you happy?”
“Very.” I felt uncomfortable.
So fast that it stunned me and I didn’t have time to react, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I wouldn’t say I exactly kissed him back, but I didn’t fight him either. He let go pretty quickly.
“I just wanted you to know what you could have if you changed your mind.”
I should have been mad, but I couldn’t bring myself to be angry because I knew that he was hurting because of me.
“I’m not going to change my mind, John. I love Will. He’s all I want.”
“So you’ve said. I hope you’ll be happy then. I want you to be happy. I just wish you were with me.”
“I’m sorry. I really don’t mean to hurt you. You said this summer that we could be friends. I hope we can.”
“Me too.” His answer didn’t sound quite honest.
I turned and let myself out of his office, closing the door, figuring that he might want to be alone for a while. I felt terrible that I was continuing to cause him pain.
Next, I spoke with Marie and asked if she would mind screening my calls for the next few days until the storm blew over. At least I hoped that the storm would blow over. Marie said that she didn’t mind.
I then went to my office and turned on my computer. While I waited, I listened to my voicemails. There were a number of them, mostly from reporters wanting me to comment on my engagement. I also received a message from my mother wishing me luck on my first day of work.
After logging in, I opened my e-mail. My e-mail inbox was a sea of red, reflecting numerous unopened e-mails. There were a few between May and the end of August, but the vast majority were received over the course of the last few days. I didn’t recognize most of the senders. I opened one that was from one of Will’s fans, angry that we were engaged. I didn’t finish reading it and deleted it. I opened another from a reporter asking me to comment on my engagement. I deleted that one as well. I started to search for names I recognized and found one with an assignment from one of the senior partners. I read it and walked down the hall to set up a meeting via his secretary to discuss the assignment further.
A handful of the attorneys took me to lunch to celebrate my firs
t day of work. Max and Daniel were part of the group, but John was not. That was a first. I hoped that it was due to work rather than being upset at my engagement. When we exited the building, I was accosted by the paparazzi that had increased in number since this morning. The partners accompanying me did not appear pleased, but said nothing.
Rachael drove me to her place that night and, of course, we were followed. We had a quick drink in her apartment to toast my engagement and then I was off in my car to return to the Palisades. “Be careful,” she warned as I got into my car. “Those guys drive like maniacs.”
Rachael wasn’t wrong. It was scary driving. The paparazzi followed too closely and were cutting people off around me. On more than one occasion, I thought I would end up in an accident.
I drove directly to Will’s to find a very large crowd waiting. I parked in the driveway behind Will’s space in the garage. The security guards kept the crowd behind the property line as I entered the house.
“How was your first day of work?” Will asked when he saw me. He appeared to be trying to cover his worry.
“Good. Same old.”
“Really?” He raised his eyebrows and stared me down.
I didn’t want to tell him all that had happened because I knew it would upset him.
“Really. I just worked. Nothing much is going to change until I’m sworn in and can appear in court so . . .”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s fine. Nothing major happened. See? I’m here in one piece.”
Will’s expression made it quite clear that he did not believe me.
At that time, my cell phone rang. It was Rachael, checking in to make sure I did, in fact, get home in one piece.
Will’s eyes were boring into me as I said, “Yes, I got here okay. Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Nothing happened, huh?”
“That’s right. Rachel’s just worried. Just like you.”
“Probably not just like me. She’s not the cause of all this.”
“I’m fine. Please let it go.”
“For now.” Will’s tone was ominous.
As the week progressed, the stalkerazzi got worse in terms of numbers and aggressiveness. We had a member of building security in the firm’s reception area at all times in case one slipped through. I apologized profusely to the managing partner of my firm for all that was happening and told him that it should die down soon. I even had trouble believing me.
Will seemed to get particularly agitated as I relayed those stories to him. I would try to avoid discussing it, but he would pull information out of me over the course of each evening.
Will and I spent the weekend under siege at the house, trying to ignore the crowd outside that would be cleared away by LAPD every so often. It was our last weekend before Will was to leave for Midnight 4 so we tried to just spend time together and ignore the world for a few days. Will was morose most of the time and lost in thought. I couldn’t tell whether it was because he was leaving or because of the circus around us. I was hoping that it was the former and fearing that it was the latter.
I cried when Will started to pack for his trip. He had a late afternoon flight. He would have a long weekend off in two weeks and would come home then.
“Be careful,” he said, as he was packing. “I know it’s been bad and I know there’s still a lot you’re not telling me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just tell me what’s really happening, okay? I don’t like hearing from someone else that the paparazzi have almost caused you to get into car accidents.”
“You’re spying on me?”
“No. Just checking up on you. I worry. If it gets too bad, let me know. We can try to figure something out. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Okay. I will.” Now it was my turn. “And what about you? You keep things from me as well. I overheard your conversation with your manager yesterday. We’ve been together for six months and I’ve never met him. He’s not happy about me, is he?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
I could tell he was thinking of a way to steer the conversation in a different direction, but I asked my next question before he had a chance to do so. “Why does he have a problem with me?”
“It’s not important.”
“It is to me.”
Will’s shoulders dropped and he responded reluctantly. “He would prefer that I remain single to keep my fan base happy.”
“Will getting married hurt your career?”
“I doubt it. My manager is just being unreasonable. I’ve dealt with him.”
“Is that his only issue?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and only did so after I tried to stare him down. “No.”
“What else?”
“He doesn’t want to lose the publicity gained by all the speculation about my relationships with various actresses.”
“I thought that was all false.”
“It is, but some is probably purposely planted. With me married, they won’t be able to do that anymore. And if they did, implying that I was cheating on you, I would kill them.”
We were both silent for a moment, thinking about things as Will finished his packing.
“This isn’t going to be easy for either of us, is it?” I said, breaking the silence.
“No, but I’m more worried about you. I’m not going to let this ruin your life.”
I wondered what he would do if things got worse.
“My life is not being ruined. I am beyond happy. There is nothing the paparazzi could do to change that. The only thing that makes me unhappy is not having you around.” I started to tear up again.
Will finished his packing, and pulled me onto the bed. He wiped the tears from my eyes and started to touch me in a way that sidetracked me from crying. We made love, but it was not something we would remember fondly for the next few weeks as we were both somewhat distracted, thinking through our previous conversation and fearing what we had in store for us.
As Will got ready to leave, he said, “I love you more than anything. I’ll call you when I get in.” He wiped more tears from under my eyes, kissed me, grabbed his bags, and walked out the door.
I had a horribly sinking feeling that I would not be seeing Will for quite some time.
Chapter Forty
I had hoped that Will’s departure would mean that the furor would die down, but no such luck. On Monday morning, there was a huge crowd in front of the house waiting for me to come outside to get to my car. I was followed to work that morning. Although I didn’t have to walk through the paparazzi to get into the building, I saw them out front as I drove into the building’s parking garage.
The calls and e-mails continued. Marie spent at least half of each day answering non-business related calls for me.
I promised the managing partner that things would improve shortly since Will would be gone for a few months shooting a film. The partner’s tone was ominous when he replied, “I hope so.”
Will would ask me each day what had occurred and, as was the case when he was home, I would tell him some of it. He seemed to become more withdrawn with each conversation.
“I can’t imagine this won’t die down soon,” I said, trying to reassure him during one conversation.
“I don’t think so. This isn’t about the release of one of my films anymore. This may not die down until we’re married and maybe not even then.”
“It will work itself out.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Will clearly did not agree with me, but he wouldn’t say it aloud.
Will was really getting on my nerves, taking out on me the fact that this was all happening. I knew that it was just the fact that he felt guilty, but you would have thought that I would be the one feeling worse than him since all this was happening to me. That didn’t appear to be the case. With each conversation, I felt like he was holding something back, like there was something he wanted, but couldn’t bring himsel
f, to say. I just couldn’t think of what that was and it drove me crazy, making me feel a little neurotic. I really didn’t like feeling that way.
The next week, the chaos was just as bad. I was summoned to the managing partner’s office on Tuesday of that week to discuss things.
“Shannon, all this hoopla surrounding you is disrupting our business. We can’t have clients here to see all this. And your secretary, who you are supposed to share with two other attorneys, can’t get her work done because she spends a good portion of her time screening your calls. In addition to that, all these calls are tying up our main phone lines, making it difficult for our clients to get through. Worse still, we have to have building security physically present in our suite to ensure none of the photographers get inside. I don’t know what you can do, but you have to do something or we may have to rethink your position here. I’m sorry. We know it’s not your fault and we’ve loved having you here, but we have a business to run.”
I promised to try to do something, but I didn’t know what to do. I completely understood their point, but I was very upset. I spent most of the day, in my office, with the door closed, staring into space.
I was reminded of a favorite quote of my dad’s: “If you think things can’t get any worse, you have no imagination . . .” Contemplating this, I felt a sense of foreboding.
When I got home from work that evening, I made the mistake of talking to Will about what had happened. After I finished recounting the details of my day, I heard silence on the other end of the phone. Then, I finally heard what he seemed to have been holding back for the last few weeks.
"Shannon, I’ve been thinking . . .,” he started to say and I was realizing that his tone meant that this wasn’t going to be good. I just couldn’t imagine at that time how really awful it was going to be. “I'm not good for you. I'm ruining everything you've worked so hard to build in your life."
Will already was unhappy that I was being followed everywhere I went and that the tabloids couldn’t get enough of us. He also was worried about my safety driving since I had almost been involved in more than one car accident due to some overly zealous paparazzi. The fact that I was in danger of losing my job because of him was just too much. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for him.
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