by George Moore
William, who was already familiar with the custom of the place, nodded to the porter and was let pass without question. He did not turn to the principal entrance in the middle of the building, but went towards a side entrance. The house physician was standing near it talking with a young man whom Esther recognised as Mr. Alden. The thought that he, too, might be dying of consumption crossed her mind, but his appearance and his healthy, hearty laugh reassured her. A stout, common girl, healthy too, came out of the building with a child, a little thing of twelve or thirteen, with death in her face. Mr. Alden stopped her, and in his cheerful, kind manner hoped the little one was better. She answered that she was. The doctor bade him good-bye and beckoned William and Esther to follow him. Esther would have liked to have spoken to Mr. Alden. But he did not see her, and she followed her husband, who was talking with the doctor, through the doorway into a long passage. At the end of the passage there were a number of girls in print dresses. The gaiety of the dresses led Esther to think that they must be visitors. But the little cough warned her that death was amongst them. As she went past she caught sight of a wasted form in a bath-chair. The thin hands were laid on the knees, on a little handkerchief, and there were spots on the whiteness deeper than the colour of the dress. They passed down another passage, meeting a sister on their way; pretty and discreet she was in her black dress and veil, and she raised her eyes, glancing affectionately at the young doctor. No doubt they loved each other. The eternal love-story among so much death!
Esther wished to be present at the examination, but a sudden whim made William say that he would prefer to be alone with the doctor, and she returned to the gardens. Mr. Alden had not yet gone. He stood with his back turned to her. The little girl she had seen him speaking to was sitting on a bench under the trees; she held in her hands a skein of yellow worsted which her companion was winding into a ball. Two other young women were with them and all four were smiling and whispering and looking towards Mr. Alden. They evidently sought to attract his attention, and wished him to come and speak to them. Just the natural desire of women to please, and moved by the pathos of this poor coquetting, he went to them, and Esther could see that they all wanted to talk to him. She too would have liked to have spoken to him; he was an old friend. And she walked up the grounds, intending to pass by him as she walked back. His back was still turned to her, and they were all so interested that they gave no heed to anything else. One of the young women had an exceedingly pretty face. A small oval, perfectly snow-white, and large blue eyes shaded with long dark lashes; a little aquiline nose; and Esther heard her say, “I should be well enough if it wasn’t for the cough. It isn’t no better since—” The cough interrupted the end of the sentence, and affecting to misunderstand her, Mr. Alden said —
“No better than it was a week ago.”
“A week ago!” said the poor girl. “It is no better since Christmas.”
There was surprise in her voice, and the pity of it took Mr. Alden in the throat, and it was with difficulty that he answered that “he hoped that the present fine weather would enable her to get well. Such weather as this,” he said, “is as good as going abroad.”
This assertion was disputed. One of the women had been to Australia for her health, and the story of travel was interspersed by the little coughs, terrible in their apparent insignificance. But it was Mr. Alden that the others wished to hear speak; they knew all about their companion’s trip to Australia, and in their impatience their eyes went towards Esther. So Mr. Alden became aware of a new presence, and he turned.
“What! is it you, Esther?”
“Yes, sir.”
“But there doesn’t seem much the matter with you. You’re all right.”
“Yes, I’m all right, sir; it’s my husband.”
They walked a few yards up the path.
“Your husband! I’m very sorry.”
“He’s been an out-door patient for some time; he’s being examined by the doctors now.”
“Whom did you marry, Esther?”
“William Latch, a betting man, sir.”
“You married a betting man, Esther? How curiously things do work out! I remember you were engaged to a pious young man, the stationer’s foreman. That was when you were with Miss Rice; you know, I suppose, that she’s dead.”
“No, sir, I didn’t know it. I’ve had so much trouble lately that I’ve not been to see her for nearly two years. When did she die, sir?”
“About two months ago. So you married a betting man! Miss Rice did say something about it, but I don’t think I understood that he was a betting man; I thought he was a publican.”
“So he was, sir. We lost our licence through the betting.”
“You say he’s being examined by the doctor. Is it a bad case?”
“I’m afraid it is, sir.”
They walked on in silence until they reached the gate.
“To me this place is infinitely pathetic. That little cough never silent for long. Did you hear that poor girl say with surprise that her cough is no better than it was last Christmas?”
“Yes, sir. Poor girl, I don’t think she’s long for this world.”
“But tell me about your husband, Esther,” he said, and his face filled with an expression of true sympathy. “I’m a subscriber, and if your husband would like to become an in-door patient, I hope you’ll let me know.”
“Thank you, sir; you was always the kindest, but there’s no reason why I should trouble you. Some friends of ours have already recommended him, and it only rests with himself to remain out or go in.”
He pulled out his watch and said, “I am sorry to have met you in such sad circumstances, but I’m glad to have seen you. It must be seven years or more since you left Miss Rice. You haven’t changed much; you keep your good looks.”
“Oh, sir.”
He laughed at her embarrassment and walked across the road hailing a hansom, just as he used to in old times when he came to see Miss Rice. The memory of those days came back upon her. It was strange to meet him again after so many years. She felt she had seen him now for the last time. But it was foolish and wicked, too, to think of such things; her husband dying…. But she couldn’t help it; he reminded her of so much of what was past and gone. A moment after she dashed these personal tears aside and walked open-hearted to meet William. What had the doctor said? She must know the truth. If she was to lose him she would lose everything. No, not everything; her boy would still remain to her, and she felt that, after all, her boy was what was most real to her in life. These thoughts had passed through her mind before William had had time to answer her question.
“He said the left lung was gone, that I’d never be able to stand another winter in England. He said I must go to Egypt.”
“Egypt,” she repeated. “Is that very far from here?”
“What matter how far it is! If I can’t live in England I must go where I can live.”
“Don’t be cross, dear. I know it’s your health that makes you that irritable, but it’s hard to bear at times.”
“You won’t care to go to Egypt with me.”
“How can you think that, Bill? Have I ever refused you anything?”
“Quite right, old girl, I’m sorry. I know you’d do anything for me. I’ve always said so, haven’t I? It’s this cough that makes me sharp tempered and fretful. I shall be different when I get to Egypt.”
“When do we start?”
“If we get away by the end of October it will be all right. It will cost a lot of money; the journey is expensive, and we shall have to stop there six months. I couldn’t think of coming home before the end of April.”
Esther did not answer. They walked some yards in silence. Then he said —
“I’ve been very unlucky lately; there isn’t much over a hundred pounds in the bank.”
“How much shall we want?”
“Three or four hundred pounds at least. We won’t take the boy with us, we couldn’t afford that; but I should
like to pay a couple of quarters in advance.”
“That won’t be much.”
“Not if I have any luck. The luck must turn, and I have some splendid information about the Great Ebor and the Yorkshire Stakes. Stack knows of a horse or two that’s being kept for Sandown. Unfortunately there is not much doing in August. I must try to make up the money: it’s a matter of life and death.”
It was for his very life that her husband was now gambling on the race-course, and a sensation of very great wickedness came up in her mind, but she stifled it instantly. William had noticed the look of fear that appeared in her eyes, and he said —
“It’s my last chance. I can’t get the money any other way; and I don’t want to die yet awhile. I haven’t been as good to you as I’d like, and I want to do something for the boy, you know.”
He had been told not to remain out after sundown, but he was resolved to leave no stone unturned in his search for information, and often he returned home as late as nine and ten o’clock at night coughing — Esther could hear him all up the street. He came in ready to drop with fatigue, his pockets filled with sporting papers, and these he studied, spreading them on the table under the lamp, while Esther sat striving to do some needlework. It often dropped out of her hands, and her eyes filled with tears. But she took care that he should not see these tears; she did not wish to distress him unnecessarily. Poor chap! he had enough to put up with as it was. Sometimes he read out the horses’ names and asked her which she thought would win, which seemed to her a likely name. But she begged of him not to ask her; they had many quarrels on this subject, but in the end he understood that it was not fair to ask her. Sometimes Stack and Journeyman came in, and they argued about weights and distances, until midnight; old John came to see them, and every day he had heard some new tip. It often rose to Esther’s lips to tell William to back his fancy and have done with it; she could see that these discussions only fatigued him, that he was no nearer to the truth now than he was a fortnight ago. Meanwhile the horse he had thought of backing had gone up in the betting. But he said that he must be very careful. They had only a hundred pounds left; he must be careful not to risk this money foolishly — it was his very life-blood. If he were to lose all this money, he wouldn’t only sign his own death warrant, but also hers. He might linger on a long while — there was no knowing, but he would never be able to do any work, that was certain (unless he went out to Egypt); the doctor had said so, and then it would be she who would have to support him. And if God were merciful enough to take him off at once he would leave her in a worse plight than he had found her in, and the boy growing up! Oh, it was terrible! He buried his face in his hands, and seemed quite overcome. Then the cough would take him, and for a few minutes he could only think of himself. Esther gave him a little milk to drink, and he said —
“There’s a hundred pounds left, Esther. It isn’t much, but it’s something. I don’t believe that there’s much use in my going to Egypt. I shall never get well. It is better that I should pitch myself into the river. That would be the least selfish way out of it.”
“William, I will not have you talk in that way,” Esther said, laying down her work and going over to him. “If you was to do such a thing I should never forgive you. I could never think the same of you.”
“All right, old girl, don’t be frightened. I’ve been thinking too much about them horses, and am a bit depressed. I daresay it will come out all right. I think that Mahomet is sure to win the Great Ebor, don’t you?”
“I don’t think there’s no better judge than yourself. They all say if he don’t fall lame that he’s bound to win.”
“Then Mahomet shall carry my money. I’ll back him to-morrow.”
Now that he had made up his mind what horse to back his spirits revived. He was able to dismiss the subject from his mind, and they talked of other things, of their son, and they laid projects for his welfare. But on the day of the race, from early morning, William could barely contain himself. Usually he took his winnings and losings very quietly. When he had been especially unlucky he swore a bit, but Esther had never seen any great excitement before a race was run. The issues of this race were extraordinary, and it was heart-breaking to see him suffer; he could not remain still a moment. A prey to all the terrors of hope, exhausted with anticipation, he rested himself against the sideboard and wiped drops of sweat from his forehead. A broiling sunlight infested their window-panes, the room grew oven-like, and he was obliged at last to go into the back parlour and lie down. He lay there in his shirt sleeves quite exhausted, hardly able to breathe; the arm once so strong and healthy was shrunken to a little nothing. He seemed quite bloodless, and looking at him Esther could hardly hope that any climate would restore him to health. He just asked her what the time was, and said, “The race is being run now.” A few minutes after he said, “I think Mahomet has won. I fancied I saw him get first past the post.” He spoke as if he were sure, and said nothing about the evening paper. If he were disappointed, Esther felt that it would kill him, and she knelt down by the bedside and prayed that God would allow the horse to win. It meant her husband’s life, that was all she knew. Oh, that the horse might win! Presently he said, “There’s no use praying, I feel sure it is all right. Go into the next room, stand on the balcony so that you may see the boy coming along.”
A pale yellow sky rose behind the brick neighbourhood, and with agonised soul the woman viewed its plausive serenity. There seemed to be hope in its quietness. At that moment the cry came up, “Win-ner, Win-ner.” It came from the north, from the east, and now from the west. Three boys were shouting forth the news simultaneously. Ah, if it should prove bad news! But somehow she too felt that the news was good. She ran to meet the boy. She had a half-penny ready in her hand; he fumbled, striving to detach a single paper from the quire under his arm. Seeing her impatience, he said, “Mahomet’s won.” Then the pavement seemed to slide beneath her feet, and the setting sun she could hardly see, so full was her heart, so burdened with the happiness that she was bringing to the poor sick fellow who lay in his shirt sleeves on the bed in the back room. “It’s all right,” she said. “I thought so too; it seemed like it.” His face flushed, life seemed to come back. He sat up and took the paper from her. “There,” he said, “I’ve got my place-money, too. I hope Stack and Journeyman come in tonight. I’d like to have a chat about this. Come, give me a kiss, dear. I’m not going to die, after all. It isn’t a pleasant thing to think that you must die, that there’s no hope for you, that you must go under ground.”
The next thing to do was to pick the winner of the Yorkshire Handicap. In this he was not successful, but he backed several winners at Sandown Park, and at the close of the week had made nearly enough to take him to Egypt.
The Doncaster week, however, proved disastrous. He lost most of his winnings, and had to look forward to retrieving his fortunes at Newmarket. “The worst of it is, if I don’t make up the money by October, it will be no use. They say the November fogs will polish me off.”
Between Doncaster and Newmarket he lost a bet, and this bet carried him back into despondency. He felt it was no use struggling against fate. Better remain in London and be taken away at the end of November or December; he couldn’t last much longer than that. This would allow him to leave Esther at least fifty pounds to go on with. The boy would soon be able to earn money. It would be better so. No use wasting all this money for the sake of his health, which wasn’t worth two-pence-three-farthings. It was like throwing sovereigns after farthings. He didn’t want to do any betting; he was as hollow as a shell inside, he could feel it. Egypt could do nothing for him, and as he had to go, better sooner than later. Esther argued with him. What should she have to live for if he was taken from her. The doctors had said that Egypt might set him right. She didn’t know much about such things, but she had always heard that it was extraordinary how people got cured out there.
“That’s true,” he said. “I’ve heard that people who couldn
’t live a week in England, who haven’t the length of your finger of lung left, can go on all right out there. I might get something to do out there, and the boy might come out after us.”
“That’s the way I like to hear you talk. Who knows, at Newmarket we might have luck! Just one big bet, a winner at fifty to one, that’s all we want.”
“That’s just what has been passing in my mind. I’ve got particular information about the Cesarewitch and Cambridgeshire. I could get the price you speak of — fifty to one against the two, Matchbox and Chasuble — the double event, you know. I’m inclined to go it. It’s my last chance.”
XLIII
WHEN MATCHBOX GALLOPED home the winner of the Cesarewitch by five lengths, William was lying in his bed, seemingly at death’s door. He had remained out late one evening, had caught cold, and his mouth was constantly filled with blood. He was much worse, and could hardly take notice of the good news. When he revived a little he said, “It has come too late.” But when Chasuble was backed to win thousands at ten to one, and Journeyman and Stack assured him that the stable was quite confident of being able to pull it off, his spirits revived. He spoke of hedging. “If,” he said to Esther, “I was to get out at eight or nine to one I should be able to leave you something, you know, in case of accidents.” But he would not entrust laying off his bet to either Stack of Journeyman; he spoke of a cab and seeing to it himself. If he did this the doctor assured him that it would not much matter whether Chasuble won or lost. “The best thing he could do,” the doctor said, “would be to become an in-door patient at once. In the hospital he would be in an equable temperature, and he would receive an attention which he could not get at home.”