“I’m not the enemy here, Brierly. I’m trying to help you.”
“I didn’t relapse. I ate dinner – a good, healthy dinner – and went out. I’m taking care of myself.”
“And Forest, how is he helping?” Her hands moved to rest on her hips. She looked so much like my mother that it would have been laughable if we weren’t fighting.
“Forest is different.”
“You have another eleven months of touring, what happens when you break up?”
I was suddenly tired of the conversation. The last thing I wanted to do was to get into an argument over Forest. He wasn’t up for negotiations. “We’ve already had this discussion and it’s my business, not yours. I’m not going to talk about him. Now, are we going to write a statement about those photos or what?”
Demi took a few deep breaths, smoke practically coming from her nose like a dragon. Nobody could be as full on as her at six o’clock in the morning.
She finally relented. “Fine. And how do you propose we explain them?”
“I was celebrating, surely I’m allowed to have a good time now and then. I work like a packhorse every single day of my life.”
“Nobody is denying that.”
“Then I think we should remind them. We can also put something in there about my new charity. If they want something to talk about, then they should at least spread the word of something good.”
We spent the next hour putting together a statement for the press. We completely denied any relapse they thought I was having. One night of dancing did not constitute a downward spiral into drugs and drinking. Hopefully all my fans would agree, they were the ones I wanted to convince, not the papers. I didn’t care what the journalists thought, they wouldn’t believe me whatever I said.
It was wearing trying to explain myself to people that didn’t even know me. It felt like every time I did something, I had to think about how it would look to someone else. My life was definitely not my own, it hadn’t been since the day I entered Singing Idol. If I hadn’t won, I might have been able to slip back into oblivion.
I don’t think Demi completely believed me but she did put together the press release without any further arguments. If I couldn’t convince her, I didn’t like my chances with the general public. She should have been the first one to trust what I said. Something was going on with her, I just had no clue about what it could be.
I showered and dressed while she sent the press release to the outlets. We packed up and left, joining the others on the bus as scheduled.
The next month passed by without incident. My ‘relapse’ went around the world but it quickly died down when they couldn’t find any more evidence of my downward spiral. Demi made sure of that, keeping a tight leash around my neck.
The shows were going as planned with nothing too horrible going wrong. Sound problems still seemed to plague us, but the techs were working on making sure they were minimized. The crowds never noticed and that was the main thing.
Forest was my constant companion. We spent nearly every night together, much to Demi’s dismay. We hung out on the bus, chatted with the others, explored the venues together, we were inseparable. It was also now common knowledge through the crew that we were together, we didn’t try to hide it. There was no point, they would have put two and two together themselves at some point.
By the time the tour arrived in Miami, I was ready for something out of the routine. Touring was fun, but it also got monotonous after a while. Thankfully, my reprieve was in the form of Mikayla. My good friend was staying in Miami for a few weeks and I was determined to catch up with her.
I was playing the American Airlines Arena for three nights straight so Demi organized a full morning off for me. I had no obligations, no interviews, no press, the entire morning was free to spend with Mikayla.
We met in Café Neptune, choosing a seat in the back so we wouldn’t be stared at or photographed. It felt so good to see her after so long.
“I’ve been hearing great things about your shows,” Mikayla started. “Congrats.”
“Thanks, it’s been fun. We had a few hiccups but they are getting less. Another few months and we might have it right,” I grinned.
“There’s nothing like the critics to lift your game.”
“Exactly.”
We sipped our coffees in silence for a while. Even though I hadn’t seen Mikayla for ages, I didn’t have a great deal to say to her. We were both too engrossed in our work to actually have lives outside of the usual hurry and wait.
“So tell me about this guy you’ve been papped with,” Mikayla broke the silence. I didn’t know how much to tell her about Forest, she would probably not approve of me sleeping with someone who was just like Braydon. I knew they were different, or at least I’d convinced myself they were different, but to the outside observer it would be Braydon 2.0.
“He’s just a guy, no big deal.”
She gave me a look of disbelief. “Brierly, you don’t sleep around, even though I have been trying to convince you that it’s a great experience. When you take a guy to bed, it is a big deal.”
So I didn’t sleep with every guy who tried to get into my pants, that didn’t mean I had to give my heart and soul to every man who got lucky. Maybe I was capable of having a meaningless relationship.
Except that wasn’t what I had with Forest. The way my heartbeat sped up when he was around, the way I could totally give him free reign in the bedroom, the way he made me feel beautiful, the way he was always on my mind even when I wished he wasn’t. Forest was a big deal. But for some reason I didn’t want to admit that. It would only make it even worse in the eventual break up.
“I’ve changed my ways,” I started, lying through my teeth. “Forest is just a bit of fun to make all the waiting on the tour go faster.”
She eyed me suspiciously, her lie detector probably buzzing in her head. She finally shrugged, giving up. “Well, he’s cute. Gorgeous, even. I told you I’d do him.”
“Good to know he has your approval,” I laughed. Mental note, make sure to keep Forest away from Mikayla. I didn’t need the competition.
“Do you want some cake? I think I need cake.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Sure?” She waited for long enough to see my head nod before teetering off to the counter for something sweet.
I sat awkwardly alone, feeling the stares of everyone else there on me. When I was alone, that’s when the photograph and autograph hunters would normally start circling. I stared intently at my coffee, hoping they would get the hint to stay away. Today was my day off, I needed to be normal for just one day.
Mikayla returned with a huge slice of lemon meringue pie and placed it in the center of the table. She rested two small forks on the side. “I thought it might look too good to resist,” she offered.
I picked up a fork, more out of politeness than actually wanting to eat. My first instinct was still to refuse food, even after all this time. I wondered if that would ever fade? The doctors warned me I would be a recovering anorexic for the rest of my life.
“So I’ve been offered another perfume deal,” Mikayla started. I settled in for the discussion, trying to remind myself to be happy for her. She wasn’t bragging, she was updating me, there was a big difference.
I picked at the pie, making sure to match the number of times she took a forkful. I was sure Mikayla wouldn’t notice anyway, but there was always the paranoia there.
When we were almost finished, we were suddenly surrounded by dozens of paparazzi. I thought we’d done a better job of hiding. Their flashes went off, sending out illuminations every few seconds, blinding us both.
I had to use my arm to shield my eyes, standing to get away from them. Mikayla gripped my arm and started dragging me away. The photographers were right on our heels, barely a second behind us.
We strutted along the road, trying to walk quickly without falling over. Sometimes to get a better shot, some of the more unscrupulous paps
would try to trip us over. I was wearing a skirt, there was no way I could let that happen today.
“In there.” Mikayla pointed to a small boutique clothing store. We ducked inside and closed the door behind us. I turned the open sign over to read closed. Hopefully the owner wouldn’t mind.
We headed for the back of the store and made sure we had a few racks of clothing between us and the outside world. The attendant, a woman in her early fifties and remarkably well dressed, joined us. She opened her mouth to chastise us before stopping as realization sunk in about who we were. There were definitely some perks to being famous.
“The paparazzi are stalking us,” I explained. “I’m sorry, we’ll be gone in a minute.”
Her head rotated between us and the photographers pressed up against her storefront window. Their flashes were still lighting up in unison. “It’s okay, you can stay as long as you need to. Maybe have a look around at our beautiful clothes while you’re here?”
Like she wasn’t going to get enough publicity just from the tabloids? “Thanks, but do you have a backdoor? We could really use an alternative way out of here.”
“Sure, follow me.” We did as told and followed her through the storeroom. Daylight greeted us on the other side as we stepped through her security door.
It was wonderfully quiet out in the back alleyway. No photographers, no fans, no screaming teenagers. Peace and quiet, exactly what I needed.
“We should get moving, it won’t take them long to put two and two together,” Mikayla warned. We thanked the woman and hurried toward our respective hotels.
Chapter Fifteen
In the warm Miami weather, I needed to cool off and the hotel pool seemed like it was going to be my best choice. The moment I arrived back at the hotel, I slipped up to my room and changed into my favorite blue bikini. With any luck, the pool would be quiet and everyone would be at lunch somewhere else.
I threw on a light cotton wrap and headed down, my sandals flopping on my feet the entire way. I grabbed my phone at the last minute, hoping I had time to catch up on some of the books I had downloaded in the boring times.
There were a few people in the pool, but not so many to annoy me. I found a lounge in the sun and covered it with a towel before lying down. It was exactly what I needed, some rest and relaxation away from the world. Perhaps when the whole tour was over, I could book a secret getaway to a remote tropical island? That would be nice.
I settled my sunglasses on my nose and closed my eyes. Having some time to stop was a luxury in itself, some time alone was something I rarely had anymore. Before my little breakdown, I had some more freedom. Since then, nobody was game enough to leave me alone for too long. Convincing myself I was okay and convincing everyone else were two completely different things.
The sun disappeared, a cool shadow fell over me. I considered pretending to be oblivious but I knew someone was standing over me. If they were a crazy stalker fan about to kill me, I would probably like to see their face first.
I opened my eyes, Forest was standing there. That was a relief. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked. Some time with Forest was probably the only thing better than time alone.
He waited until I moved my legs so he could perch on the side of the lounge, careful not to tip it over. “I was going to go for a swim, want to join me?”
The pool was empty, most people either leaving or reclining. “Sure.”
I dived right in, letting the cool water wash over me in one shockwave. I was never one to get in slowly, I always figured why delay the inevitable? I guess that was also how I tended to live my life. Dive in without thinking and get it over and done with. At least that’s how my relationships usually went anyway.
A hand gripped my foot as I started a lap in the clear water. I spun around, Forest was holding me, pulling me closer until I was completely entrenched in his embrace.
“I thought you said you wanted to go swimming,” I pointed out. Something about the way he was looking at me made a shiver run down my spine with anticipation. It was the cheeky glint to his eye, the smile that made his cheeks dimple.
I never had a chance to test the waters with him, it was dive in or go home. And I wasn’t the type to go home.
“You in that bikini makes me forget all about swimming. Hell, it makes me forget my name.”
He leant over and smashed his lips on mine. For once, I didn’t care who might be watching. It was just Forest and I, nobody else was even on my radar.
We kissed hungrily, like we had been denied that kiss for centuries. Our lips continually collided, over and over again until we were both breathless.
“You give me wicked thoughts, Brierly Wilcox,” Forest whispered in my ear, so quiet that no-one else could hear.
“Like what?”
He pursed his lips together while pretending to think it over. Those dimples, I could kiss them forever and it wouldn’t be enough. “Like how I’ve never had sex in a pool before.” He raised one eyebrow in challenge.
I couldn’t stop the laugh escaping my mouth. “Keep dreaming, it’s not going to happen today.” He dipped me down in the water without warning. I gasped, ready to hold my breath but he brought me back up again before I could go under. “Still a no.”
“You didn’t say it would never happen.”
“Just not today.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
Now it was my turn to be cheeky. “You better.” I let one hand fall from around his neck to sneak under the water. I reached down and found the bulge in his swimming trunks. Giving it a little squeeze, his eyes flew open wide.
Forest laughed. “You’re going to be the death of me. How am I supposed to not rip off your bikini now?”
I leaned over, whispering in his ear. “Take me back to my room and you can rip off whatever you want.”
He looked at me seriously, making sure I wasn’t just joking this time. I was dead serious and we couldn’t move quick enough for my liking.
Forest let me go and we headed for the side of the pool. I grabbed my things and we ran through the hotel. The bemused looks of anyone watching us were ignored, they could gossip as much as they wanted. I only wanted Forest, I needed Forest.
We burst into my room after I fumbled with the keycard like an idiot. I headed straight for the bathroom and ran the bath. We couldn’t have sex in the pool, but there was nobody to watch us in the oversized bath.
I sat on the edge, dumping in the complimentary bubble bath and making sure the water wasn’t too hot. I felt rather than saw Forest approach. He always made every nerve in my body stand at attention.
His warm hands rubbed the cold skin of my back. He could have done that all night and I wouldn’t have complained. With a flick of his fingers, my bikini top fell away. So that was his plan all along, I should have known.
His exploring hands went further, I knew exactly what his plan was this time. He untied the right ride of my bikini bottoms before moving onto the other side. I was completely naked in under two seconds. While he was still wearing his shorts, that wasn’t fair. I turned off the faucet and grabbed his pants, sliding them down his legs before he had a chance to move.
“Now we’re even,” I said with a smirk. He went to grab me but I slid into the bath before he could. The warmth washed over me, the suds making it a little slippery. It was so much better than the pool.
Forest climbed in at the other end. We fit together nicely in the large tub. It wasn’t as big as the one I had in my mansion back home, but it was sufficient.
Forest found my feet and started rubbing them under the water. I lay my head back on the edge, enjoying the moment. That man could make anything sexy, including a foot rub. Every touch sent waves of pleasure up to my core, like he was touching me there instead.
“Hmm, that’s good,” I moaned.
“Your feet are so small.” I opened my eyes to look at him, trying to work out if he was teasing me or not. He seemed genuine.
“They’re cute.”
“I didn’t know you had a foot fetish.”
“There’s so much you don’t know about me, Brier.” I raised a questioning eyebrow, challenging him to tell me everything. “It’s not that easy. You’re going to have to ask the right questions.”
“Okay then. Besides feet, what else turns you on?”
The mischievous glint to his eye made the butterflies go crazy in my stomach. I could only imagine what was going on inside his head – which was probably a good thing. I’m sure I didn’t want to know even half of all those naughty thoughts running through his mind.
“You turn me on,” he finally answered carefully. I was a little disappointed, surely he had some more desires than purely me serving myself up on a dish for him.
“So you don’t have any fantasies then? Nothing? At all?”
He switched feet and started rubbing the other one. The gentle kneading almost made me forget all about the conversation as I enjoyed the massage.
“Okay then, but remember I did warn that you might not want to hear them.” He paused, expecting me to change the subject. I wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily. “I’m a boobs man. I’ll take them big, small, perky, any way they come.”
I laughed. That was hardly a fetish and definitely not something unusual. I’m pretty sure every single guy I had ever known would say the same thing. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
He may have blushed, just a little, before getting defensive. “Fine then, Miss Kinky, what’s your secret indulgence? What turns you on?” He pinched my toes, making me squirm more than the question.
I pushed myself up and started moving toward him slowly. Forest released my foot so I could move. I didn’t stop creeping up until I could straddle his thighs, our faces only a few inches apart.
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