by Jana Leigh
“Now let’s get you settled. This is going to be a shock,” Tulu said.
Arden shrugged, as if she hadn’t had enough shocks over the last few months. It was like a roller coaster ride without the barf bag.
Once she was settled in the chair, she noticed that Mason and Thane had distanced themselves from the others, they looked like they were ready for a beer. Shit, this couldn’t be good. But why was Tulu breaking it to her? Shit, they wanted a female to give her the bad news so when she fell apart someone would be there for her. Damn it, she felt the tears already gathering in her eyes.
“Now, I need to tell you a bit about me so you can understand what I am trying to say here,” Tulu said gently as if she were talking to a fragile woman, which made her frown even more.
“Since I was a spark in my daddy’s eye my family is what you call special. My mother, my grandmother, and all the way up the tree of life have always been for lack of a better word, mediums. Do you know what that is?” she said gently.
OooooKaaayy, so this was the big secret? Duh, half of the people in this state are involved in the woo woo magic. “Of course, I have lived here most of my life,” Arden said with a smile.
Tulu took a deep breath, “So since I can see spirits, there have been a few visitors over the last few days.”
Arden frowned, and this had what to do with her? She only knew of one… oh fuck.
“I can see by your expression you put two and two together.” Tulu laughed. “Now, my son and his friends for some reason, I think it was from the blast, have been able to see their friends when it is their time. I don’t think this is a lasting thing for them, I am assuming since the men were so close their pure will is bringing them to their friends. Be that as it may, we need to have a conversation because John here, needs to tell you a few things. To be honest with you, it is like ripping off a band-aid, just brace yourself.”
Arden was stunned, her brother, John, wanted to speak to her. Sure she had seen the chick who has her own show that does this, as well as the many times she had gone to mediums to see if they could talk to John, but none of them ever worked. Now here she was, sitting in a motel room in the middle of Deliverance, and John wanted to talk to her now?
“Gimme a minute,” Arden said and rose from her chair and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. When she was alone, she finally let out a nervous laugh, which quickly turned into a sob, and she tried to calm her emotions.
Arden felt a breeze against her skin, turned, and looked but no one was there. It was something she had felt a lot over the last few months, she thought she was having hot flashes. “You shit,” Arden hissed quietly. She knew John was with her.
“Have you been here all along?” she asked and when she didn’t hear anything in return, she sighed. Damn it. “You had better not been here last night, or when I was showering, that is creepy. Also when I go to the bathroom, or when I am in the female doctor's office. Shit, we need to have rules here, now I am thinking about all the times I was doing something embarrassing and you could have been there. So fucked up.”
When there was no answer, she turned on the water and washed her face before continuing. Hoping the running water would take care of it. She fell back into her normal talk with her brother, he was her confidant even if he was dead. “What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Mason, West, I have no idea what to do. I mean I like them both, hell, who am I kidding, with Mason it is more than that. And with West it feels right, like he has always been there, you know? But two of them. I can barely keep the cactus alive in my apartment, how the fuck am I supposed to deal with two overbearing men? Shit, my calendar will be full, I can’t juggle two of them—impossible.”
She sighed when there was no bright light or epiphany. “Okay, let’s get this over with,” she said and stood. “But now that I know you are here, I am getting a bell for you to hit so I can talk to you.”
When she stepped into the room, Mason and West where whispering, standing next to the door waiting for her. Both of them reached for her, and she dodged their grasp, she couldn’t deal with that right now, too confusing. “Tulu, I apologize if I was rude, I just needed to gather myself a bit.”
“Honey, if you had just sat there I would have worried, your response is normal. Now come back here and we can let John get off his chest whatever he needs to,” the older woman said and Arden nodded and resumed her seat. This time though Mason and West sat across from her on the bed, staring intently at her. She stuck out her tongue and focused on Tulu.
“Now, I need to try something, I hope you are willing and I hope this will work, then I won't have to try to channel him. I find it is creepy allowing someone in my body to talk to their loved ones. I did it with an older gentlemen a few years ago, and when I woke up, I was gripping my own boobs. Damn, demented ghosts. Now hold out your hands,” the older woman demanded and when Arden did, she grasped a hold of them, and Arden closed her eyes.
Arden felt an electric current run through her, shit this one hurt a little, not like the sexual one she felt with both of the men, this was rawer, like she had stuck her finger in a light socket. She would not be surprised if her hair was standing straight out there was so much power.
First, she felt a whisper of awareness. She could see herself sitting in the chair with Tulu holding her hands. Then she could see West, Mason, and Thane all touching Tulu on the shoulder. It was as if they were all connected.
John appeared next to her chair, sitting on the armrest and staring at her grinning. She could feel the others in the room as well but couldn't see them. The only one she could see what John.
“Hey, A,” her brother said to her affectionately.
“J,” Arden whispered in awe. They had begun calling each other by only their first letter when they watched John’s favorite movie.
“Sorry, A. I am so sorry I didn’t come home,” her brother said and put his hand on her shoulder. She felt his touch for the first time since she got the call her brother was dead—she felt whole again. He had been such a big part of her life, that when he was suddenly gone, she felt a little empty.
“Like I can hold that against you. J, you were doing what you loved, serving your country. You know I never understood the whole live the life thing, but I understood you. I know you would have never left the guys, they were important to you. Both of us know what finding a family means, my only regret was having this fucking job I couldn’t move to where you were stationed. Wait, I could have, but I refused to. I guess in all honesty, I didn’t want to share you. When you were home, it was always just us, but if I had moved, I would have gotten just as sucked in as you had. I wasn’t ready for that.”
“I know, Sis, it doesn’t make me any less sorry. So the letter,” John said and she felt Mason stiffen and Thane flinch.
“Damn, I forgot about that. But I had the rest, they don’t change that much so I know,” Arden said. It was their thing, he would write a letter before a mission and when he returned he gave it to her. She read it, and then would have a good cry. The last mission was the only time she hadn't gotten the letter.
“This one was different,” he brother whispered. “Here," he said, holding out a tattered piece of paper to her. “Read it now, but the original will be back at the ranch, you need to have it.”
Arden nodded and she looked at the folded piece of paper with sadness. This was the last letter her brother would ever write her. She didn’t want to read it, instead she wanted to hold on to it and imagine what her brother would say to her. However, that wasn’t in the cards. Everyone was waiting for her to open the letter…
Slowly she unfolded the pages and felt something fall into her lap, she ignored it for now and took a deep breath and began to read.
***
A,
***
Hey, sis, I hate to write this letter but I had to. I won’t be coming back from this mission, call it a feeling or whatever, but I know. So I need to get a few things straight here. You already k
now how much I love you.
The day we met, we became a family ourselves. There was no question in my head that we were brother and sister. Never has been, never will be. You were there for me at my worst. You know what I mean, the night I lost it. Thinking I had nothing to live for, because life was so shitty. My parents were drunks that should have never been allowed to procreate. I was failing school, and the foster parents were going to kick me out once again. I went into the bathroom in the school and sat in the stall, ready to just end the pain.
Then there you were, sitting in front of me, grabbing a hold of the gun I was holding and slapping me into reality. I will never forget what you said to me. ‘You are selfish if you think this will end your pain, it will only create more—for me.’ I never wanted you to feel like that again, but I know you are feeling that way anyway. It sucks. I will always be there for you, just talk, and I will hear, just think of me, and I will come. You will never be alone. I know this is strange, but I want you to believe me. Our connection was the most important thing in my life. I always knew I could count on you, you never let me down, and never made me feel like I was less than a man when I needed a hug.
Mason doesn’t know I know about the night you slept together. Tell him it is okay, I would never get involved in that or be pissed. I know how hard you were searching for someone to love, and love you back. I would never deny your happiness…as long as it wasn’t Ice because he is a bit flaky.
You have to tell him your secret, I know you vowed to never think about that time again, but he will understand. I was going to turn over the information to LC when we got back but obviously, it didn’t work out. There is more to it than what you think, I didn’t see it until it was too late, now you are in danger.
I know you are sitting there pissed that I even mentioned it in this letter because Mason probably is sitting in front of you, or he has already read this. But this is important. Somehow, this is all tying together and this is just another piece of the puzzle.
You need to clear out the accounts and find somewhere to disappear. Mason and the guys can help, they can get you a fake ID, just until this is all over. In here is an account you didn’t have access. I started it when I first got in the military, a part of my paycheck went into this account every two weeks. So there is more than enough there for you to use to disappear.
Also, look through your purse, in your wallet behind my picture I left you a code. It is for a safe, it is behind the picture of us hanging on my wall in the apartment. Give it to Mason he will know what to do. Some things in there will help, including the stuff you gave me.
Be happy, A. I love you so much, and I know you love me too.
J
Arden felt a brush of a kiss against her forehead and knew it was her brother. He always did that before he left. Kissed her on the forehead and then gave her a chocolate bar. Damn it, this hurt so much. Arden opened her eyes and pulled her hands back, she would talk to him alone, right now she couldn’t deal with it.
“Arden,” Mason said and reached for her. She pulled back and shook her head. When she stood, she felt something drop from her lap. When she looked down there was her chocolate bar.
She bent down and laughed through her tears, show off, she thought and then looked at the people in the room. “Can you all leave please. I need some time to digest this.”
Thane and Tulu nodded and walked to the door after kissing her on the cheek. Mason and West looked like they were going to argue with her, she didn’t have it in her to deal with them. Tulu must have realized it because she walked over to the two large men who were dominating her space and pulled each of their ears until they followed. Protesting the whole way, but they followed. When she heard the click of the door shutting, she collapsed on the bed. Sobbing yet again.
Chapter Nine
Mason and West looked at the door helplessly. They could hear the sobs from inside and it was breaking their hearts. Mason's mother made soothing noises to the guys as they tensed and were ready to storm the door.
“You need to remain calm, if you are distressed she will be also,” Tulu said.
“She needs us,” Mason said.
“Yes, she does, but you have to get yourselves in line first, go talk. I have seen where this is leading, and you both need to be on the same page. She will not be able to handle being pulled in two. I would guess that's what some of her distress is about. She has no idea who to turn to because she wants you both,” his mother said and both of the guys looked at her in surprise. Thane stood back laughing.
“Ma, not going to have a sex-talk with you again,” Mason groaned.
“Why not, I am an open-minded person. I know the ways of the world. I know what your friends have committed to. I am happy for you. You just need to make her see it can work. She will resist and you know this. Make a plan and stick with it,” Tulu said and patted both of their cheeks. “Such good boys, and if you have any questions on what goes where, I can help. I have read those books. You know those writers give quite the description. I wonder if any of them actually do those things. I mean they are so real and how on earth could they write it if they didn't know about it. Well anyway, I just finished reading two good ones about men who shift into things. Woo," Tulu fanned her face as she continued, "they were hot. I can give you some pointers. Hmmm…I wonder if Vince has a friend, that could be fun.” She laughed and turned to where the older man was waiting. “Going for coffee.”
“Ma, you are killing me, seriously. Thane, go with them and make sure she doesn’t solicit a ménage,” Mason groaned and West laughed and put his hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“Just wait, ma and her will be on the loose soon together, we will never be able to control them,” West said with a twinkle in his eye. Both of them had battled over the years to try to make their moms normal. They gave up when they were sixteen and they had a ceremony, which included dancing under the full moon naked, to balance their powers. It creeped them out, and they had been hanging out with their friends that night. West was pretty sure he was going to go blind for a while, while Mason demanded therapy from his mother—for the whole football team.
Thane waved and laughed as he followed the older couple who were already talking and laughing.
Their silence was only interrupted by the cries from the room behind them. It didn’t sound like it was letting up, instead it sounded like she was getting worse. The small hiccupping noises ripped a hole in both their chests.
“We need to talk,” West whispered.
“Yeah and now,” Mason said as he pulled open the truck's tailgate and hopped on, letting his feet dangle, and relaxed against the side.
“We've done it before,” West said joining him.
“Yeah, but this is different. Arden isn't like the chick we picked up in San Diego—she matters. We need to make sure she knows we are in for the long haul. She won’t accept us any other way. I screwed up man. I thought I could forget her, let her go and find someone else. But seeing her, man, was like a kick in the fucking stomach. When I thought she was in the room alone, and refusing to even talk to me, I was fucking frantic. Thinking what if I lost her forever. I know she deserves more than what a broken fucked up guy can do. But I don’t care, she means too much to me, man. I need to have her in my life,” Mason said.
“I get that, I just met her and I feel like she is the only one for me, like she has been just waiting for me to find her. Now that I have—I can’t let her go. So we both want her, we both are in this for the long haul, but what about everything else,” West said.
“We need to make her see this is perfect for us. You are like my brother, with the exception of a few of the other guys, I couldn’t do this but now, even they wouldn’t work. We need to work as a team to make her feel safe, wanted, and hell, as if she is the only woman in the world for us. It is what she deserves. John told me about her past. She had some fucked up parents, they ignored her only to bring her out to prance her in front of their rich friends. Treati
ng her like she was a possession. Then her dad fucked around on her mom. She saw him with the other woman, and when she confronted him, he hit her. Told her it was none of her business. Her mother stood by and nodded, looking at Arden like she was an idiot. John said she went wild. Figured if they didn’t care about her, no one did, not even herself. You know, drugs, drinking all that. Her father tried to control her, he hit her a lot, and when she finally had enough she ran. Her parents called social services and said they couldn’t control her. She lived on the streets for a few months until she was picked up shoplifting some food. She was then sent into the system, where she and John met pretty soon after. They became each other’s family. They were close. When John died she had to have been devastated. But I was fucked up, couldn’t face her and see the accusation in her eyes. I let him die, she needed him, and I let him die, man,” Mason said.
“You didn’t let him die, you weren’t even with him. I read the report, fuck, you are lucky to be alive after the blast you and the others took. The asshole who blew himself up for a cause was at fault. You and the others have suffered enough, time to realize that what happened…happened. You can’t change it,” West said and then continued, “We all do it, SEALs, guys who wear a uniform, any of them. Police, Fireman, Rangers, Security Forces, we are responsible not only for our lives but for the lives of the people we work with, and the people we are protecting. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming being so responsible, having so many people depend on which step you take, and which move you make. But that's what we signed up for. That's what we believe in, and so did John and the others. They knew the risks and yet they still took them, because they believed in what they were fighting for. Man, I wish I could say it was different. I wish I could say all of the men you know or have served with are gonna be fine. But you know as well as I do, those are empty promises. Bad things happen all the time. A drunken man shoots his wife, then the policeman who comes to help is shot. Firemen respond to a five-alarm fire, people get hurt. SEALs go to where they are needed, and the fuckin' psychos in this world are like a roulette wheel—you never know where they are gonna fall, but they are going to try to take someone out with them. It is the nature of the beast. Hell, we could be walking across the street and a truck hits us. Seriously, there is no stopping fate. When it is your time, it is your time. We are lucky in this instant. I have always felt like I couldn’t get involved with someone, with you though, I know if something happens she will be taken care of, loved. Same with me, if something happens to you, know I will move heaven and earth to make sure Arden is taken care of. Even if this doesn’t work out. Even if our personalities are too much for her. I will still be there.”