“Let me ask you this, do you like the guy, or do you really like him?”
Knowing this is the God’s honest truth, I answer, “I really, really like him, borderline L-word status.”
“Oh shit.” Jace pauses and asks, “Are you okay, Rachel? I didn’t know you liked him that much.”
I bite on my lip, willing the tears away. Don’t cry, DO NOT cry, it only makes Jace feel awkward and it will solve nothing.
Taking a deep breath, I answer, “I’ve been . . . better.”
“Are you going to cry?”
“Maybe.” I sniff.
“It’s official, I’m going to kick his ass.”
“He’s bigger than you, Jace, if that’s possible, and he fights other big guys for a living, when he’s not pushing a puck around on the ice.”
“But I have the best-friend rage.”
“True.” I laugh, letting silence fall between us.
Finally, Jace chimes in. “Just confront him. What will you lose? It’s not like he’s talking to you now. At least if you confront him, he’ll have to give you a direct answer.”
“But that’s scary.”
“Yeah, it is, but it’s better than sitting around wondering. You deserve better than to be pushed to the side. Take what you want and go ask him in person. Be the assertive girl I know.”
“And if he breaks up with me?”
“Then he’s the biggest moron on the planet.”
I really hope he’s not the biggest moron on the planet, because I’m not sure my heart will be able to take it.
Shea should be at Calder’s brother’s house, she always is when Calder has a late game. After his game ended in a loss—good timing on my part—I waited two hours before heading over to his place, giving him time to settle in, and giving myself a little more time to gain some courage.
I’m not nervous to confront him, but I am worried about how he’s going to react when he sees me on his doorstep. I don’t want him to break up with me.
Please don’t let him break up with me.
Taking one last deep breath, I knock on his grand door and shift on my feet while I wait for him to open it. It takes a few seconds before the locks are shifted and the door opens. Calder is wearing a pair of pajama pants and that’s it, showing off his well-defined chest, muscular arms, and cut stomach, where I could count each and every ab with my tongue.
I’ve missed him so damn much, from his buzzed hair, to his soulful eyes, to the warmth of his arms. Seeing him like this, not feeling comfortable enough to dive into his embrace, makes me feel not only awkward, but also incredibly sad.
“Rachel,” he says with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
Twisting my hands together, I try to steady my voice, not wanting to show how much he affects me. “I . . . I came to confront you.” Not the most eloquent or the best way to ease into the topic, but there’s something to be said for getting to the point.
He grips the door, his muscles straining under the tension I just laid in front of him. “Rachel—”
“No,” I cut him off. “Please, don’t lie to me, okay? Please don’t give me some spiel about how you’ve been so busy, because that was never the case with us, you always made time for me. So the least you can do is tell me the truth.”
Lowering his head, he stares at his feet for a few seconds before opening the door wider and welcoming me in. That’s right . . . you jerk!
I take in my surroundings, his house feeling so much like home it hurts. When he turns toward me, door shut behind him, there is regret written all over his face, regret and pain. And even though I’m mad at him for shutting me out, I can’t help but be drawn toward him.
Pressing my hand against his chest, his heat encompassing me, I ask, “What happened, Calder? Do you really not want me to meet your daughter that much? I can wait, I really can, but I just don’t want to lose you.”
He presses his hand against mine and twines our fingers together right before he pulls me into a hug, his chin resting on my head. I melt into his embrace, my eyes welling up with tears. It’s been two days, two days of not talking to him, of wondering where we stand, of not being able to get lost in this man, and it’s been torture.
I try to hold back the tears, I really do, but when he squeezes me, as if he never wants to let go, the floodgates open.
“Shh,” he coos into my ear, hearing the silent sobs coming from me. “I’m so sorry, baby. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
In the entryway, we hold each other, my heart slowly healing with each kiss he presses against my head and with every sorry he mutters under his breath, his voice filled with self-hatred.
He’s regretful, it’s evident in the way he’s holding me. This gives me hope, just a glimmer of hope, but hope, nonetheless.
When my crying subsides and I gather myself, Calder brings me to his couch, where he pulls me onto his lap and holds onto me tightly.
“Rachel, I’m so fucking sorry. There really is no excuse, other than I was scared.” He takes a deep breath, so I place my hand on his chest, trying to calm his racing heart. “Shea asks about her mom almost once a week, and it kills me having to tell her why her mom is no longer in her life, that she’s never coming back. I fucking hate that her mom just up and left and I can’t do anything about it. It’s the reason why I’ve been super selective when it comes to bringing people into Shea’s life, it’s the reason why I went on a dating hiatus for so long—I didn’t want to fall for someone and introduce them to Shea, just to have them leave her too.
My heart aches for Calder and Shea, and the pain they have to face on a daily basis because of someone’s selfish needs.
“Calder, I had no idea, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, there is no need for you to. I’m the one who should be apologizing. Things just got really intense with us really quickly. I’ve never . . .” he holds his breath and then he says, “I’ve never truly loved someone like I’ve fallen in love with you, and that terrifies me, because what if you don’t love me back? What if you don’t get along with Shea? What if you decide to leave us, not only breaking my heart, but my little girl’s heart, too? I don’t think—”
“Stop.” I gently place a kiss on his lips, lingering for a few seconds. “Calder, I love you. And every day we’re together, I fall deeper in love with you.” I tilt his chin so he’s forced to look me in the eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I have plans to stick with you for as long as you want me. And as for your daughter, as for Shea, I know that she’s your world, and I will do anything to not only gain her love and respect, but to keep her safe.”
Calder shakes his head in disbelief and squeezes me tightly against his chest. “Fuck, I love you so much. Thank you, baby.”
“No need to thank me, just don’t shut me out. You about destroyed me, Calder. I’m kind of addicted to you. I need you like I need air to breathe. I’m sticking around, I think it’s time you get used to it.”
Laughing, he answers, “That’s a pretty easy thing to get used to.”
“Why am I so nervous? She’s five. I work with five-year-olds day in and day out. I shouldn’t be this nervous.”
Calder laughs next to me, the rumble from his chest easing me slightly. “Trust me, babe, she’s going to adore you.”
“I hope so.” I adjust my shirt and watch as Calder’s brother pulls up in the driveway of Calder’s house. It takes all of a minute for Shea to pop out of the car and sprint to the house, right into her dad’s arms.
And oh boy, is she the cutest little thing. She shares Calder’s eyes, but everything else about her must be her mom. Wearing pink leggings, a pink sweater, and her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head, she is everything I expected.
“Daddy, you didn’t win last night.”
“I know, love bug, that’s okay though.”
“You’ll get the next game.” She gives her dad a little fist bump and it melts my heart. “Do you like my hair, daddy? Carissa helped me style it this mornin
g. Don’t I look so cool?”
Chuckling while Shea tosses her head from side to side, he says, “The absolute coolest.” Standing tall, he continues to hold Shea’s hand when he says, “Hey, I have someone I want you to meet.”
Reaching out, Calder clasps my hand and says, “Shea, I want you to meet Rachel, my girlfriend.”
My stomach flips as Shea looks me up and down, her once-over making me more nervous than any job interview I’ve ever had.
“Girlfriend?” Shea crinkles her nose. “Like, you guys kiss?”
Pressing his lips together for a second, holding back his laugh, Calder says, “Yes, love bug, we kiss.”
“Huh.” Leaning closer to me, Shea asks, “Is daddy a good kisser?”
I nearly lose it as I throw my head back and laugh, way too hard, letting all my nerves fly out of me.
Kneeling to her height, I look Shea in the eyes and say, “Your dad is a very good kisser.”
Looking up at Calder, Shea gives him a tap to his flat stomach and says, “Good job, daddy.” Then she turns toward me and holds out her hand, which I take without pause. “Do you want to see my stuffed animal collection? It’s huge!”
Smiling, I answer, “I would love to.”
And that right there, that’s the moment I fell for not only Calder Weiss, but also his darling little girl. Calder was so worried about me going somewhere, but he has absolutely nothing to fear. There is no possible way I could leave, not with this little girl’s hand gripping mine so tightly, and the look of absolute adoration beaming from Calder.
Nope, I’m here for good.
Epilogue
CALDER
“When is Uncle Hayden going to be here, daddy?”
“Right now,” Hayden says, causing Shea to squeal loudly when he scares her from behind and picks her up. “Were you worried I wasn’t going to come?” He spins her then sets her on his hip.
“You’re late.”
“I know, please forgive me.”
Shea ridiculously sighs. “Fine, only this time, though.”
“Thank god.” A devilish smile appears over his face as he starts walking toward the pool, Shea understanding her fate in seconds.
“No, no, no,” she laughs, squirming in his arms.
“Oh, it’s going to happen little girl. Get ready, you’re about to get wet.” Like the “Uncle” that he is, he counts to three then tosses a bathing-suit-wearing Shea into the pool, who luckily already knows how to swim. Thanks to my brother.
I point my grilling spatula at him and say, “You realize you just started a war, right? And Rachel is ALWAYS on Shea’s side. It’s hell man.”
Hayden grabs a beer from the cooler next to the grill and says, “Oh please, you fucking love it.”
“I do.”
Speaking of my girl, Rachel walks up to me, a plate of patties in her hand, a glittering ring on her finger, claiming her as mine, and a little belly poking out from under her tight-fitting shirt.
A month after Rachel met Shea, and after seeing their immediate connection, I wasted no time in proposing to Rachel. We wasted no time in getting pregnant, either. We have yet to get married, but we will do that in time, we’re just trying to enjoy our little family right now.
And Rachel’s hormones at the current moment, fuck, she has me bending her over at least twice a day, if not three times. If my dick makes it through this pregnancy, it will be an absolute miracle.
Although it will be worth it, because there is something to be said about seeing the woman you love carry your baby—it’s such a beautiful sight. But what’s even more beautiful is watching your daughter talk to your girl’s belly every night, telling it stories.
Want to make me melt, just show me a video of that. I’m done.
“Hayden, we haven’t seen you in a while.” Rachel leans over and places a kiss on his cheek, before walking into my arms, where I gently squeeze her ass and press a tongue-filled kiss against her mouth. She moans quietly, making me hard in an instant. It’s that easy with this woman.
“Maybe it’s because this is all you two do, make people uncomfortable with your love.”
“Oh don’t be jealous, man, just because your girl wants something casual doesn’t mean you need to hate on us long-term, committed couples.
With far too much interest, Rachel turns in my embrace, practically bouncing up and down. “You have a girl? When did this happen? Why haven’t you told me?” She swats me on the stomach. “And you knew?”
“It’s not serious, there was no need to tell you about Hayden’s whoring ways.”
“As a tripod, we tell each other everything. I told you about my sore nipples the other day.”
Hayden lifts his beer at Rachel in salute. “Yeah, thanks for that text by the way. You know, we don’t have to tell each other everything. It’s okay to keep some things a secret.”
“No secrets in a tripod. So who’s this girl?”
Hayden shrugs, trying to act casual, but there’s an underlying hurt in his eyes. “My good friend, Racer, introduced me to her this summer.”
“Oh, tell me more.”
Knowing Rachel is persistent, Hayden gives in without putting up much of a fight. “We met at a party. I didn’t think much of it. She knows I play hockey and she’s a nurse. Our schedules clash, especially during the season, so we decided to keep things casual, knowing there is an end to our summer fling.”
“But you like her,” Rachel cuts in before he can admit it himself.
Running his hand over his face, he nods. “Yeah, I like her.”
“So what’s the problem?”
Biting on his lip, Hayden glances in my direction and his entire demeanor turns sullen. “My, uh, agent called me today. I’ve been traded, man.”
“What?”
Rachel gasps next to me. “You’re kidding me.”
“I wish I was. I’ve been traded to the LA Quakes. I leave in a few weeks.” Rachel and I both sit there, silent, unable to form words, just as Shea comes running up to Hayden, begging him to throw her in the pool again.
Kids are so weird.
Hayden obliges her demands then comes back to talk to us. “It sucks, really fucking bad since all my family and friends are here, but I know she’s not going to want to do something long distance, especially since she’s not willing to commit to something long-term when we’re in the same city.”
“Shit, man.” Rachel squeezes me tightly, knowing this is a huge loss for me. “I don’t know what to say.”
Hayden shrugs and then says, “Just say you’ll come visit me in LA, and for the love of God, take it easy on me when we’re on the ice. I know how you crush men, I’m not quite ready to break a rib just yet.”
Laughing, trying to take the bad news in stride, I say, “Well when you’re ready, let me know, because I would love to blast you into the wall.”
“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’re leaving.”
“I’ll be back. I’ll still have a home back east to visit you guys.” He bites on his bottom lip. “Is it wrong that I’m more concerned about my relationship status than where I’m going to play hockey?”
Rachel shakes her head. “No, it’s endearing actually. Means you care for this girl.”
“I do, but I guess sometimes things don’t work out. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone in LA, someone I’m meant to be with, someone who wants to be with me.”
We spend the rest of the evening reminiscing, celebrating Shea and her birthday, and playing with all the presents she got. She’s so fucking spoiled, but hey, it just means she has so many people in her life who love her, including Rachel.
She went crazy getting Shea so many toys, some educational, and a lot of things they can do together, like a bead set, and a tie-dye T-shirt kit so they can have matching shirts. Fuck, that present made my heart ache with so much love for Rachel.
It’s funny how I was so worried about Rachel and Shea. I should have known from the very beginning, from the m
oment I bitch slapped Rachel with my fairy wing and introduced myself as Wanda, that she was a keeper and would easily become the mom my little girl so deserves. I should have known that the girl with the blonde hair and bangs was going to sweep me off my goddamn feet and slip my world upside down in the best way possible.
Love always shows up in mysterious ways. Here’s hoping Hayden can accidentally run into love as well.
THE END
Want to know what happens with Hayden? Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long. THREE BLIND DATES comes out JANUARY 4th, 2018. Add it to your TBR - -> http://bit.ly/2zY0Zuf And do you want to be ONE OF THE FIRSTS to find out about more release information and Hayden’s story? Then click here - -> http://bit.ly/2ikhDI8
Interested in what happens to Hayden? Check out the blurb to THREE BLIND DATES right here.
"Good Morning Malibu, it’s another beautiful day on the west coast! I'm Noely Clark, your host, and I'm in the market for love…”
When the publicity team of the new local restaurant, Going in Blind, began their search for a hot, local celebrity to promote the wildly popular eatery, they couldn’t have found a better person than me.
Outgoing? Check.
Single? Check.
Open to finding love? Check.
I signed up immediately.
A hopeless romantic with an exceedingly demanding schedule, I've found it impossible to find the man of my dreams—so Going in Blind seems too good to be true! That’s until they start setting me up on dates—three very different, very attractive, very distinct blind dates—and only one thing is for certain . . .
I’m in big trouble.
"Good Morning Malibu,
I'm Noely Clark, and I have a choice to make.
The question is who will I choose: the suit, the rebel, or the jock?"
SWEEPING THE SERIES
Sweeping the Series
a romantic dramedy
Copyright 2017
Kate Stewart
Team Player: A Sports Romance Anthology Page 34