by Lucy Clark
‘Nah, mate. I’m fine with the shot of pethidine I’ve had.’
‘Suit yourself.’ They headed back towards A and E, and when they passed the nurses’ station, Beatrice grabbed Joe.
‘Did you page the neurology registrar?’
‘Yes. Oops.’
‘How many times do I have to tell you? If you page someone, stay by the phone until they answer or at least tell someone you’ve done it and why!’
‘Sorry.’
‘I presumed it was for Grace.’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, wait here for three minutes and she’ll meet you.’
‘OK, but I’ll just take—’
‘No. You’ll stay there, Joe Silvermark,’ Beatrice commanded.
‘Yes. I’ll stay here.’ He nodded meekly and Rachael couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Go and sit in the doctors’ tearoom. I’ll be there soon.’
‘I can wait with you.’
‘Rachael!’ he said in exasperation.
‘All right. Have it your own way.’ He gave her directions and she found the room without difficulty. She sat down and put her feet up on another chair, tipping her head backwards as she pulled the braid from her hair and ran her fingers through it, untangling knots. She closed her eyes, feeling the tension of the past few hours began to ease.
It had been a long time since she’d been in an emergency situation like that. Not that it bothered her, just that she was out of practice. Once she was more settled here on the Gold Coast, she’d have to sign up for some GP refresher courses.
Sighing, she lifted her head and slowly opened her eyes. She jumped a little when she realised Joe was standing in the doorway, watching her intently.
‘Everything organised?’ She should probably sit up straight and take her feet off the chair, but she didn’t have the energy.
‘Yes. We’ll have to get you registered here so you have the authority to admit patients if necessary.’
Rachael shrugged. ‘Is there much point? I’ll only be at your clinic until the end of next week.’
He frowned and went to sit down on the chair where her feet were. She quickly moved them, but after he’d sat down, he picked them up and placed them on his knee. Carefully he removed her shoes and began tenderly massaging her insteps.
Rachael groaned in pleasure and felt herself begin to melt. ‘That feels so good.’
‘I know.’
‘You remember?’
‘That you like having your feet massaged? Of course. The first time you let me touch you was to massage your feet on the bus trip.’
‘Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten that.’
Joe chuckled. ‘Most guys get to hold the girl’s hand or put their arm around her shoulders, but me? No. I get to massage her very smelly feet.’
‘They weren’t smelly.’
‘They were so.’
‘Were not.’
‘Were.’
She giggled. ‘Yes, they were, yet you still did it.’
His smile was heart-melting and now he’d brought the topic up, she remembered just how quickly she’d melted beneath those megawatt smiles. ‘I was trying to impress you.’
‘It worked.’
‘So it would seem.’
They both fell silent. ‘What happened, Joe?’
‘Tonight?’
‘No.’ She paused and looked into his eyes. ‘To us.’ She shook her head slowly. ‘I still don’t understand what happened and I’ve spent the past fifteen years trying to figure it out. As far as I could tell, one minute we were happily married and the next you were rushing me even faster towards the courthouse for the annulment.’ Her words were soft yet filled with repressed hurt.
Joe’s face became an unreadable mask. ‘It wasn’t meant to be, Rach.’
She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. They were clasped tightly together as she worked up the courage to ask her next question. Regardless of his answer, she needed to know, and she hoped this time, with fifteen years having passed, she’d get a different reply. ‘Joe…’ She swallowed nervously. ‘Did you really mean it? What you said? That you’d only married me to get me into bed? That it had all been a joke?’
She held her breath, waiting…waiting for the words that would either make or break her.
CHAPTER SIX
JOE recalled the words with perfect clarity.
He recalled saying them to her with all the venom he’d been able to muster, and he’d felt sick to his stomach as he’d stood there and blatantly lied to her. Looking back—which he often had—he wished he’d handled the situation better, but he’d been a confused and idiotic nineteen-year-old who hadn’t known any different.
Joe continued to massage her feet, searching for the right words.
‘It’s all right,’ she said, when he didn’t reply. ‘Forget it.’ She had her answer. His silence was her answer, and he was probably trying to find a nicer way of saying exactly what he’d said that morning. Amazingly, she could feel tears beginning to well and realised she needed to get out of there—as soon as possible!
As she went to remove her feet from his hands, he held onto them. ‘No, Rach. You misunderstood my silence. I want to answer but I was trying to think of the best way to explain.’ He shrugged. ‘We were…young…naı¨ve, impulsive.’
‘You weren’t naı¨ve, Joe.’
He grimaced wryly. ‘No, but you were, and I should never have taken advantage of you.’
‘Was it true, though?’
‘That I only suggested we get married to get you into bed? No. At the risk of sounding conceited, I would have been able to talk you into it if that had been my sole motive.’
She acknowledged his words with a slow nod. ‘So you really did want to marry me? It wasn’t a joke?’
After all this time, he knew he owed her the truth. ‘No, Rachael. It wasn’t a joke.’
A shuddering sob escaped her lips as she was swamped with relief. ‘You have no idea how that’s haunted me all these years. I’d go over everything in my head like a stuck record. What had I said? What had I done? It had to have been something to make you say such horrible things to me.’
‘It wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘Then why?’
‘I needed to hurt you.’
‘You succeeded, but why? Why, Joe?’ This time, when he remained silent, Rachael slowly began to connect the dots. ‘I got too close.’ A look of dawning realisation crossed her face.
‘Way too close.’ He exhaled harshly and lifted her feet, tenderly placing them on the chair. He needed a bit more distance between them—even now, although this distance was more physical than emotional, he still needed it.
A nurse poked her head into the room. ‘Anyone seen Tess Marshall?’
‘No,’ Joe replied, and the nurse left. ‘This isn’t the place for this discussion.’
‘Then where? Come on, Joe. We can’t just leave it at that. I want to get on with my life, to move forward, but it’s just so hard to try and do that when the same questions that were buzzing around in my head fifteen years ago are still there—unanswered.’
‘Closure.’ He said the word with a nod. ‘You’re right. We do need to discuss this, but you have Declan waiting for you.’
‘He’s with my parents. He’s fine.’
‘Is he staying overnight with them?’
Rachael grimaced. ‘No. He’s had an extremely full day and usually, when that happens, his mind goes into overload. First going out with you, then bungee jumping, then the accident and helping out. It’s a lot for his mind to absorb.’
‘He’s fourteen, Rach. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?’
Rachael sighed. ‘Think back to when you were fourteen, Joe. You never really told me what your childhood was like but, after seeing where you were raised, I can imagine.’
He grimaced. ‘I never wanted you to see that.’
‘I know, but I did. As I was saying, remember the things you saw when you were Dec
lan’s age. I’m sure they were a lot worse than an accident on a movie set but, still, I’ll bet when things didn’t go the way you planned, all you wanted was for someone to be there for you. I’m not talking about psychoanalysing or anything like that but just having someone there. To feel that you weren’t alone, even if you didn’t talk. Someone to put their arms around you and just hold you without probing any further beneath the surface. Didn’t you want that when you were fourteen, Joe?’
Joe looked down at the floor. How did she do that? Without him even realising, she just climbed right inside his head and read his mind. It hadn’t been the first time it had happened and he realised now it wouldn’t be the last. He shuffled his feet, then looked up at her. ‘This really isn’t the place.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘We should go somewhere else to talk, but I want to stay at the hospital.’
‘For Wong.’ She nodded. ‘I understand.’
‘You do, don’t you? Somehow, by some miracle, you’ve always been able to understand me.’
‘And that scares you?’
He gave a shout of laughter without humour and shook his head. ‘Terrifies me, Rach.’
‘And that’s why you don’t open up to me?’
‘I find it hard to open up to anyone but you seem to have this imaginary can-opener and without my permission you get inside.’
‘You make me sound like a parasite.’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘That irritates you, doesn’t it? That I get in without permission?’
He turned to face her, his expression earnest. ‘I’m a private person by nature, Rach. I’m not into deep relationships, but when I met you and you just seemed to…get me, I found myself in uncharted waters.’
‘Out of your comfort zone.’
Joe nodded. ‘Correct, and I’d taken great pains to have that comfort zone, to find a safe place within me.’
‘Joe.’ Rachael placed her hand on his arm and looked imploringly at him. ‘I never wanted to hurt you, but even from the first moment we met you were an enigma to me. I probe because it helps me understand, and I’m one of those annoying people who needs to understand. Once I understand, I can cope.’
‘Hence your current dilemma.’
‘Yes. I don’t understand why you pushed me away, but let me just say that everything I found out about you when we were together I loved.’
He nodded and took her hand in his. ‘The way you spoke to me, the discussions we had…You made me feel smart. You made me feel as though I had worth. No one had ever made me feel that way.’
‘Made you feel smart?’ She smiled at him. ‘Joe, you are smart. Where do you think Declan gets it from!’
‘From both of us.’ He reached out his free hand and caressed her cheek. ‘You’re a highly intelligent woman, Rach, and I could never figure out what it was you saw in me. I was just this loser who’d been raised in an abusive environment and who’d managed to scrape together enough money to get out of the country.’
‘That’s not what I saw.’ When Joe raised his eyebrows she continued. ‘I saw a man who knew how to let loose and have a good time. You were wild and exciting and the sexiest man I’d ever met.’
‘You decided to slum it.’
‘Is that what you think?’ Rachael was astonished. ‘Because you’re wrong. Those were my first impressions of you, Joe. Then I got to know you and that’s when I started falling in love. We may have initially been attracted to the external packages, but I’ve always believed we touched each other’s souls.’
He couldn’t help himself any longer and dragged her close to him. She didn’t pull back or resist. Instead, he saw she welcomed the contact. Reaching up, she slowly brushed her fingers through his hair and he groaned at the touch.
‘You get my blood pumping faster than any bungee jump or any of the other adrenaline rushes I’ve experienced over the years.’
Gently, she urged his head down and at the same time she rose up on her toes, the length of their bodies brushing firmly together. He breathed in deeply, the scent of wild berries overpowering him.
‘You smell the same,’ he whispered, his gaze fixed on her mouth. His hands sensually caressed her back in small circles the way he knew she liked. ‘You feel the same.’
‘Hurry up and kiss me,’ she panted, and watched as the sexy smile she remembered tugged at his lips. Her stomach churned with longing and she was glad he was holding her tightly because she doubted her legs would be able to support her.
‘You’re still impatient, too.’
‘Only with you.’
He continued to tease her by eluding her mouth and burying his face in her neck, filling his senses with her scent. He pressed kisses to her neck. ‘You taste the same.’
‘Joseph.’ She growled his name and he chuckled lightly. Not giving him the chance to escape, she dug her hands into his hair, wrenched his head up and brought it down so their lips could meet…The moment they touched, she sighed with relief.
As ever, his mouth was masterful, knowing exactly how to bring a response from her. Her insides twirled with longing as the sensations continued to grow. Testing, teasing and tantalising…He wasn’t going to let her get away with a quick, reuniting kiss—not that she’d want him to. It was as though he was taking his time to familiarise himself with the feel of her mouth beneath his, and she was in no mood to contradict him.
They moved in complete synchronicity, as though the past fifteen years hadn’t happened. A reunion they’d both needed with the promise of what they knew lay beyond these heart-wrenching kisses.
With a short groan coming from deep in the back of his throat, he pulled back. ‘Mmm. Definitely taste the same.’
‘Shh,’ was all she said as she dragged his mouth back to hers. This time she took control, desire pouring out of her as she led them both towards a journey they’d taken many years ago. They needed to build bridges, to fix the rift that had grown between them due to both life and circumstances, and she knew this was a sure-fire way to get the building process started…as well as being highly enjoyable.
Her mouth on his was eager and slightly desperate, almost willing him to come along for the ride. If he thought he could tease and nibble, he had another think coming. The impatience she’d felt earlier was nothing compared to how she felt now. The moment seemed to slow down, time seemed to stand still. She waited for him to accept and appreciate her efforts.
She didn’t have to wait long.
After a heart-splitting second, his mouth was roving over hers in that hot and hungry way she recalled. The passion, the fire, the heat—it was there, and it was as raw and untamed as it had been when they’d been teenagers. How could the need which had lain so dormant in her suddenly spring to life with such fever? A fever she knew was highly infectious to only one other person—and he was showing the same symptoms.
Ever since she’d first seen him again, her heart had acknowledged the inevitability of this moment, even though her head had denied it. They were meant for each other and right now neither one disagreed.
Where there had previously been apprehension and uncertainty between them, they were now both confident to take the frightening natural attraction which still existed to the next level. On and on the fire continued to rage within them as their mouths hungrily explored and remembered.
‘Rachael!’ He finally pulled back, both of them panting from lack of air. They’d been completely caught up in each other, neither wanting to be the one to break the contact. Breathing had completely slipped their minds until it had been imperative they part. He sucked in a breath and pressed his lips onto hers, knowing with absolute certainty she would respond.
‘You’re so…captivating,’ he whispered brokenly as his mouth still took hungrily from hers. ‘So…vibrant and alive, and if I don’t stop myself soon, I’m not going to be able to.’ He was talking more to himself than her, but didn’t mind she was in on his thoughts.
He had the most sexy, desirable and pass
ionate woman he’d ever known right here in his arms, and he was hard-pressed not to scoop her up and find somewhere soft to lay her down. He even glanced around at their surroundings, hoping to find a bed had miraculously appeared—but it hadn’t.
He chuckled and gathered her close, pressing kisses to the top of her head. ‘Unbelievable.’
‘Isn’t it?’ She sighed and listened as his erratic heart rate slowly began to return to a normal rhythm.
‘I can’t believe it’s still there. So strong, so…’
‘Encompassing.’
‘Yes.’ He pulled back to gaze down into her face and couldn’t resist brushing his lips once more across hers. ‘How could you think I wouldn’t want to spend time alone with you—especially when we have this between us?’
Rachael chuckled and accepted another kiss. ‘I’m allowed my own insecurities, Joe.’
‘Well, not about me wanting you because, believe me, Rach, I do.’ His pager beeped and he released her so he could check the number. ‘Theatre,’ he said, and went to the phone on the wall, quickly dialling the relevant extension.
‘It’s Joe,’ he said a moment later. ‘How’s Wong?’
‘Everything’s going fine,’ Zac reported. ‘The general surgeons have finished and the urology surgeon is with him now. I have his X-rays back if you wanted to come and have a look.’
‘We’re in the tearoom.’
‘We?’ Zac asked. ‘I certainly hope this ‘‘we’’ you’re referring to involves a beautiful woman.’
‘It does.’
‘Good. I look forward to meeting her.’
Joe disconnected the call, a silly schoolboy grin on his face at the thought he could show ‘his girl’ to his mate.
‘How is he?’
‘Who? Zac?’
‘Don’t be obtuse, Silvermark.’ The fact that he was joking meant things were better than he’d expected.
‘Oh. Wong.’ Joe passed on the details as he crossed back to her side. ‘Want to go look at some X-rays?’
‘You’re such a party animal and always know how to show a girl a good time,’ she teased.
‘Be quiet and come here.’ He pulled her into the circle of his arms once more and pressed his mouth to hers. Rachael made no move to pull away but instead sighed and snuggled closer to him, her arms about his waist, her eyes closed.