by Latham, D
"Are you having a nice time?" Oscar asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Oh yes, everyone seems really nice and welcoming, and a lot more fun than I expected."
"I know you were nervous. I was too." He looked into the distance, rather than directly at me.
"Why would you be nervous?" I was curious.
"Because I know that you can walk away from me. You seem so strong and self contained. It makes me nervous that I could say the wrong thing again and you'd be off. I nearly laid an egg last night when mother mentioned rehab."
"What were you addicted to?"
"Cocaine. I was a heavy duty coke head. Been clean for four years now. It's why nobody does drugs around me. It started off as a party thing, only I couldn't control it. Darius could always take it or leave it. I ended up an addict."
"How did it get that bad?"
"I went from using it at the weekend, to during the week. Eventually I couldn't get out of bed without a line first. It all got hushed up by my father of course. He carted me off to some godawful place on the Isle of White to get clean. I doubt if I'd still be here if he hadn't."
"Have you ever relapsed?"
"No. I have no desire to ever go back to being an addict." He looked down at the ground, "are you shocked?"
"A bit. I thought you were into fitness and health. I'm glad you told me though. I want to get to know you." We came to a large rose arch, Oscar checked for webs, before guiding me through into the most beautiful garden I'd ever seen. White flowers of every conceivable shape and size billowed against a backdrop of deep green hedges. Oscar led me to an arbour dripping with white wisteria, and we sat down, and I breathed in the heady perfumes around me. "This is paradise," I declared.
"It is now that you're here," he said, "I want to know you better too. It always feels as though you're hiding something from me, and it makes me nervous."
I contemplated whether or not to share my insecurities with him. It was nowhere near as bad as the revelation that he'd been a junkie. I took a deep breath. "I come from a poor background." I waited for his response with baited breath.
"I knew you weren't rich, but I wouldn't have pegged you as poor. Why is it such a secret?"
"I work in one of the best law firms. All my workmates come from privileged backgrounds, public school, you know. I didn't, so I had to work ten times harder, and cover up a lot. If I didn't, I'd never have been taken on, let alone won promotions. I carry a lot of insecurities and hang ups around with me. I don't really belong in this world I live in. I sneaked in."
"Is that how you felt during dinner last night?"
"Yes, you guessed."
"Only because you looked so lost." He looked at me with such sympathy that it took every ounce of self control I possessed not to cry. "Elle, you are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're stunningly beautiful, astoundingly clever, and the sweetest person I know. You have nothing to feel insecure or inferior about. I imagine a lot of women feel intimidated by you instead."
"I doubt that very much," I snorted.
"My receptionist does. Sulks all afternoon when you've been in," he grinned.
"I did tell you she has a crush on you."
"She's normally fine. It's only when you visit that she gets all snippy. Are your own colleagues not jealous of you?"
"Not that I've noticed," I frowned, "one secretary really doesn't like me, but all the other lawyers are men, and they just tease me about you and Ivan." Oscar looked quizzical, "they are nosy about you, and think its funny that I used to hide in the loo whenever Ivan was in," I explained. Oscar laughed.
"You used to hide from Ivan? Does he know?" I shrugged.
"I was scared of him. I'm not anymore though. I was scared of you when I first met you. You seemed so angry."
"That morning you walked into me in the lift, mother had called me, giving me a hard time, berating me for missing my narcotics anonymous meeting. I was annoyed, then as soon as I actually saw you, I was angry with myself for being such an arse. Then when I chased you into the coffee shop, she bloody phoned me again. She couldn't have worse timing if she tried."
I smiled, "spectacularly bad."
Oscar stood, and grasped my hand, "I doubt that you have a thirst for blood sports, so shall I teach you how to shoot lumps of clay? Then you can be a proper hooray Henrietta." He winked at me and smiled.
Chapter 14
Clay pigeon shooting was a lot of fun. I wasn't particularly good at it, but Oscar and Hartey patiently tutored me in how to hold and fire the gun, and how to anticipate the clay. I even managed to hit a couple. Hartey was the best shot, explaining that he grew up in the highlands where his family have an estate, and was shooting grouse and pheasants almost as soon as he was big enough to hold a shotgun. Oscar was pretty good, and only missed a few clays. I watched him as he relaxed and had fun, observing how competitive he was with Darius, and how his brows knitted together as he concentrated. I may have even drooled slightly watching his broad shoulders tense and flex as he fired his gun, and his arse in Levi's was a work of art that Michelangelo himself would be proud of.
We headed back to the house around four ish, and had coffee and cake in the sitting room. After our conversation that morning, Oscar was protective and attentive, staying close and shooting little glances over to make sure I was ok, making me all warm and fuzzy.
We headed up to Oscar's room to bathe and dress for dinner. He ran the bath while I lay down on the bed, yawning my head off.
"Is the fresh air getting to you?" Oscar asked as he wandered in.
"I'm not used to clean air. It's knocked me out a bit." I yawned again.
"We'll make it an early night tonight. Everyone looks a bit ropey after last night." I followed him into the bathroom, and stripped off my clothes. The bath looked deep and inviting, and my shoulders were sore and stiff from the recoil of the gun. I stepped in, and sank into the foam. Oscar climbed in behind me, and pulled me against his chest, resting his hands on my tummy. We lay like that for a while in companionable silence before Oscar asked, "did you enjoy the shoot?"
"Oh yes, it was fun. I wasn't too bad at it for my first go was I?"
"No. I thought you took to it really well. Most girls can't even hold the gun up, let alone control the recoil. Must be all that weight training you do. Hartey was surprised too. I bet your shoulder aches though." He soaped up his hands and began to rub my shoulders. "Can I ask you something Elle?"
"Go on."
"You said you came from a poor background. What exactly did you mean?"
I hesitated for a moment before replying. "A council flat in south London, and a single parent family, on benefits. It was grim. All I wanted was to escape and never go back." His hands stopped rubbing.
"I had no idea. You don't look like you came from something like that."
"I'll take that as a compliment. I don't look chavvy," I teased. He rinsed my shoulders and planted a soft kiss. "Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Go ahead."
"How come you're still single? Have you never fallen in love?"
"That's two questions."
"So sue me."
"In answer to question two, yes I fell in love at university, but she couldn't cope with the coke habit, and left me. I loved the drugs more than I loved her I guess. In answer to question one, I didn't meet anyone after her that I wanted to spend my life with, and I enjoyed thwarting mother's attempts at matchmaking. It became a mission of mine."
"I see."
"Have you ever been in love?"
"Not really. I went out with a boy at uni, but it didn't last. He wanted different things from life than I did, so I ended it."
"What different things did he want that drove you away?"
"He wanted to be a writer, and he thought poverty was romantic, probably because he'd never experienced it.I know full well that there's nothing remotely romantic about not being able to answer the door and hiding behind the sofa when the debt collectors call rou
nd. I didn't want that life for myself, so I bailed."
"Don't blame you. It sounds horrific."
"It was. I lived in fear of having my things taken away. It's why I never have lots of 'stuff', if I don't have it, I can't lose it. I don't get attached to material things, and I live in fear of debt. I refuse to ever borrow money. I saw what it led to."
"I'd love to take you shopping and give you lovely things. You deserve the best."
"I'm not a charity case Oscar, I earn a good living and can buy nice things for myself. Don't worry, I wouldn't embarrass you by wearing Primark clothes," I snapped, suddenly regretting sharing so much information.
"You'd look lovely whatever you wore, but you'd look fabulous in couture." He kissed my shoulder. "I don't think you're a charity case at all, certainly not when you're parked in your fancy office, with a PA doing your bidding. I love the little suits you wear to work, especially when you don't wear knickers underneath them." He reached up and tweaked my nipple.
"Sex maniac," I laughed, squirming.
As soon as we were out of the bath, we made love again on the bed, a decidedly non kinky quickie, but satisfying nonetheless. We just couldn't seem to get enough of each other's bodies, and we only stopped because it was time to dress and join Oscar's guests downstairs.
I wore my wrap dress, and a pair of heels, which I knew Oscar liked, and we made our way down to pre dinner drinks in the sitting room. The others were already there, sipping gin and tonics, and discussing the shoot. This time I felt more relaxed and confident than I had the previous evening, and I began to enjoy myself.
Lady Golding appeared, and made a beeline for me, "Elle, you look lovely dear, did you visit the garden?"
"I did, and it's stunning, like paradise on earth. All the grounds are, but the white garden took my breath away," I gushed. She looked pleased. Oscar was by my side within moments of his mother's arrival.
"Did Elle tell you she did a magnificent job with the parish newsletter. Sent it to be printed and everything," she said to Oscar.
"She mentioned that she'd done it. Won't Mrs Smith's nose be out of joint?"
"Well she complains at having to type it all, so I'm sure she'll be relieved. Did you shoot today Elle?"
"I did indeed Lady Golding. It was a lot of fun." I didn't need to admit to her that it was my first time.
"I hope your shoulder's not too sore. I find that shotguns are too heavy for me."
"She's surprisingly solid. Looks a flimsy little thing, but that kickback didn't knock her over," said Hartey, joining in the conversation, "good shot too."
Lady Golding smiled and moved off to chat to Minty and Thomas. Oscar bent down to whisper in my ear, "she likes you. I'm concerned that you're going to get lumbered with that stupid newsletter for evermore, but at least she's not clawing your eyes out." He put his arm around my shoulder, and gave me a little squeeze, before announcing that we should head into the dining room.
Dinner was a sedate affair that evening. The food and wine were as delicious as before, but everyone seemed tired. Lady Golding complemented my dress, and asked who it was designed by. Thankfully I was able to tell her it was by Diana Von Furstenburg, which was better than having to admit to wearing something from Zara. She didn't have to know it was in the sale. All the girls chatted about shopping, while the men just listened politely.
"I promised Elle a nice shopping trip soon," Oscar said to Minty.
"You make sure you hammer his bank balance," she advised me, "he's got oodles of money, best he spends a bit of it on you." I smiled. She really had no brain to mouth filter.
"I plan on spoiling her," said Oscar, looking affronted, "I'm taking her to Harrods for a splurge."
"You really don't need to," I said, "I'm perfectly capable of buying my own clothes."
"Oh you should let him," said Minty, "it's a man's way of telling you he loves you. Isn't that right Osc?"
Oscar stared into his wine glass, before saying, "yes, I suppose it is." Minty clapped her hands together, delighted, and I noticed that Darius was the only one at the table not smiling at Oscar's rather clumsy confession. The look he shot Oscar was a mixture of exasperation, and anger, and it surprised me. Even Oscar's mother seemed quite misty eyed, which also surprised me. Oscar just looked a bit pink, and embarrassed.
The subject changed to the castle, with Lady Golding regaling us all with the rather colourful history of the previous inhabitants, and the awful ways they behaved. She was a talented raconteur, and I was transfixed, listening to her. As a result, the remainder of dinner passed without incident.
After coffee in the sitting room, and with several people yawning, Oscar and I decided on an early night. It was still eleven o'clock, which for me, was fairly late, so we said goodnight, and headed upstairs.
"Did you want to stay downstairs and party?" Oscar asked, as I took my makeup off in the bathroom. He began to brush his teeth. It was all very cosy and domestic.
"I'm exhausted from all the fresh air. Felt as though I was gonna drop off at the table. Your mum was interesting though. I liked hearing about the castle."
"She's very knowledgeable," he agreed, after rinsing his mouth, "although her family were from Kent. She came to Conniscliffe when she married my father. He was the real expert on the family history." Oscar tossed his clothes into the laundry
basket, and wandered into the bedroom naked.
I followed, and we got into the enormous bed, snuggling together in the centre. "I'm not too tired," I purred seductively, my hands roaming over the muscles of his chest.
"Oh good, I was worried," he said, nuzzling my neck, "I don't want you all worn out, just because of my insatiable demands."
"I thought that was the whole point of the early night?" I said, squirming as he cupped my breast. Just the slightest touch from Oscar seemed to ignite my body, and I grew slick and hot as he kissed me. He lay on his side, one hand gently stroking my cheek, as he kissed me with lush, deep kisses, his tongue sweeping over mine in soft licks. His other hand slowly travelled down my body, exploring my skin, until it slipped between my legs to feel my arousal. With a featherlight touch, he teased my clitoris, rubbing tiny circles, until I pulled him over me. Quickly sliding on a condom, he pushed into me achingly slowly, and began moving at a leisurely pace, savouring the moment, as he held me tight, still kissing me.
He pulled himself upright, and continued his slow pace, reaching down to rub my clit. I felt the orgasm brewing inside, and unable to control it, I came with a cry. Within moments, I felt Oscar swell and let go. He stilled, and pressed into me as he came, before laying back on top of me, holding me tightly and kissing me hard.
He pulled out, and lay beside me, running his warm hands over my ribs. "What I feel for you scares me," he whispered. I stared at his beautiful face, with it's worried look, and smiled.
"Oh?" I replied. In truth, it was too early to declare undying love, but I did feel a lot for him. I liked him more and more as time went by. I felt comfortable with him, and I fancied the pants off of him. It was enough for me, and I certainly wasn't going to rock the boat by saying I didn't have the same feelings as him.
"I think I'm in love," he blurted out, scanning my face. I kissed him softly.
"Me too," I replied. He pulled me into an embrace, and held me tightly. I could feel his heart hammering in his chest, either from the exertion of our lovemaking, or the anxiety of his declaration. I could feel him smile against my neck as he nuzzled me.
"Sleep baby, you look shattered," he said, pulling away slightly. I turned onto my side, snuggled into him, and drifted off.
I don't really know what woke me, whether it was the cold, empty space beside me, or the parched mouth from the salt I put on my salmon at dinner. I lay there for a few minutes, trying to go back to sleep. It was nearly one in the morning.
I figured that my raging thirst would only get worse as the night wore on, so I swung my legs out of bed, and pulled on my robe. I padded through the dim cor
ridors, and down the stairs to the kitchen, trying not to make any noise or wake anyone else. I walked past the garden room on my way to the end of the corridor, and heard voices coming from Oscar's study.
I heard Oscar's voice clearly. He sounded like he was begging. I could hear another voice murmuring something, but it was too quiet to hear properly. I stood at the door, trying to listen, when I heard Oscar clearly announce that he was coming. My blood ran cold, and I stood, immobile, unsure what to do. I heard grunts, and sex type noises coming from behind the door, and a man's voice saying something about daring to fuck a commoner, which spurred me into action. If Oscar was screwing someone else, I needed to know now, rather than further down the road, when I had deeper feelings for him.
I grabbed the door knob, and swung the door open. The sight that greeted me caused my hand to fly in front of my mouth in horror. I grabbed the door frame to stop myself falling as I observed Oscar laying naked, on his back, on the desk, semen spurting out of his cock, which Darius had his hand wrapped around, while he fucked Oscar up the arse.
They both froze as I stood in the doorway, staring at them, and unable to move my limbs. Oscar threw his arm over his face like a child who thinks that if they can't see you, you can't see them. Darius scrambled to pull his pyjama bottoms up, and just stared at me, an unreadable emotion on his face. I turned tail and strode away. I heard Darius tell Oscar that he'd better go after me.
Back in Oscar's bedroom, I found my bag in Oscar's wardrobe and began to throw my clothes in. Oscar walked in looking dazed. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Leaving. What does it look like?" I replied, not meeting his eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him after such a betrayal. Only two hours earlier he had declared he was in love with me, and then rushed off for a homosexual tryst. It made me feel sick.
"Elle, it's one in the morning, and we're in the middle of nowhere. Come back to bed, and we'll talk in the morning."
"Are you nuts?" I spat, "there's no way on god's green earth I'm sharing a bed with you ever again, and I'm not staying here, there's no point."