As much as I wished I could deny that I was the ugly person she just described, I knew I couldn’t. I had done every bit of what she just said and had never offered any explanation. If only she knew, everything would be better. But she couldn’t know. The scars still haunted me. And I knew they haunted her as well.
She started to leave and my hand grabbed her wrist, gently, not letting her go just yet. “I wish I could change how things happened, Bryn. And I’m so sorry for running out on you that day.”
“I wish you could too, Tyler. But that’s the thing. What’s been done has been done and cannot be changed.” She walked over to Charlotte’s bed. “You know what the worst part is? I feel like I’m the bad guy for hating you. I don’t want to hate Charlotte either. There’s been too much good between us. The bad doesn’t really make sense.” She shifted on Charlotte’s bed and rested her head in her hands. “I’ve gone through so many different emotions, yet all of them seem to lead in your favor. Even now I just want to catch up, have a good time and move on.” She wiped at her eyes and fell silent.
“Know what I miss most?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“What?” she responded.
“Our movie nights.”
She nodded and I swore I saw her start to smile. “I’ll never forget the one night you climbed the ladder but slipped, and the ladder started to fall. The look on your face when I pulled you inside was priceless.”
“My face? Panic doesn’t even describe the look on your face. You were so freaked out that I was going to die or something. Admit it; you totally would have brought me flowers at the hospital.”
She shrugged and sat there for a little longer in silence.
“I think we should go back downstairs,” she said.
We walked out of Charlotte’s room and down the steps. Ashton greeted us at the bottom and led Bryn out of my sight as I stood there by myself. The rest of the night I couldn’t help but wonder where she was in the house. It didn’t seem real that she was here. I had hoped for a second chance with her ever since I left. Not that I was righted one but I had always hoped that the feeling I had about us was right. That we weren’t over.
After an hour or so since our talk, I finally spotted her; her arms up in the air and her hips moving to the song that was playing. It was in that moment that I knew Bryn was drunk.
Ashton had been joking about if she had anything more than two drinks, her actions would be completely altered, and there was no better way to prove him right than for her to get drunk. Bryn was in fact a very happy and content drunk.
The house had started to clear out, and soon it was only a couple of strangers and all of us standing around in the living room, the furniture pushed against the walls.
“You’re fucking hilarious, B,” Jason said as he finished off another beer.
She hit him in the side. "Aww, I know,” she slurred.
“I think I’m going to go home with Miles tonight. I have an early event tomorrow, and with me being the makeup artist, I would rather not scare the bride with giant circles under my eyes as I apply her makeup,” Charlotte said.
“Party pooper!” Jason replied.
I shook my head. “And how old are you?” I asked, directing my glare to Jason.
“Oh shut the fuck up,” Jason replied. “I'm going to go get Eva, and we’re out of here. I plan on getting lucky tonight,” he said walking over to Bryn and Eva, grabbing Eva and dipping her in a fancy movie style.
“How about another shot!” Bryn screamed over the loud music as I sat down in front of her on one of the stools.
She looked at Miles and Jason as if they were crazy while they shook their heads.
“What? I've only had three!” She paused. “Or maybe it was four…” She started to get down from the stool she was sitting on, and before I could let her fall on the floor and make a scene, I grabbed her arm while my other arm wrapped around her waist. “Thanks…Tyler,” she slurred.
I looked down and locked my eyes with hers. I stood up straight, and we kept our gaze a little longer before she spoke, breaking the silence between us. “Where's Ashton…maybe I should go home,” she stated running a hand through her hair.
Charlotte took the drink out of her hand and replaced it with a new one. Sniffing it and obviously not registering the scent, Bryn asked, “What is this?”
Charlotte smiled. “Water, drink it. Ashton is passed out on the floor over there,” she said, pointing to the opposite corner of the room to Ashton who was sprawled out on the floor, a trash can by his side. “Maybe you should stay here tonight. I would be too freaked out if you stayed at your house alone when you’ve had so much to drink.”
“Uhm, okay I guess that makes sense?" she said, taking a sip. “I don’t feel really well.”
She started to fall again, and I picked Bryn up and carried her over to the staircase. “Since you guys aren’t staying here tonight, I’m just going to have her stay in my room. I’ll sleep on the floor or something,” I said to the group behind me.
Carrying her up the stairs was easy as her small frame fit easily in my arms, and looking down at her sleeping figure, I couldn’t help but notice Bryn was absolutely stunning. Setting her down on my bed, I reached my hand out and gently grazed her cheek, only pulling away when she stirred, groaning slightly. Nothing had changed over the course of the past years. She wore little makeup even though I knew she didn’t need it. I didn’t know who she had become as a person since I’d seen her last, but I was already re-captivated.
She started to stir and her eyes opened, squinting at the light. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “My head hurts.”
“I bet, let me go get some Advil for that.”
“I’m going to kill Ashton for letting me get this drunk,” she said as she continued to rub her eyes.
I returned shortly with a couple of pills in my hand along with a bottle of water.
“Thanks,” she said. “Are there blankets downstairs? I need somewhere to sleep before I pass out.”
“I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor downstairs. You can stay in here. I’ll just sleep in my chair or something,” I said.
“You don't have to do that, Tyler. I would feel awful,” she said finishing off her water.
“Thirsty?” I asked, laughing at how quickly she had downed her water.
She blushed, a brilliant shade of pink forming on her cheeks as she nodded.
“Olivia, my roommate in New York, swore that if you drank enough water after drinking you could avoid a hangover in the morning.”
“Olivia was right. And don’t worry about sleeping up here, I really don’t mind.”
“As if tonight couldn't get any more mortifying, I have to ask, do you have anything that I could borrow to sleep in? I don't think these shorts and a tank top would be ideal pajama wear.”
“Uh, yeah, no problem.” I pulled a pair of basketball shorts that was in the back of my drawer and a t-shirt I was sure would be too big for her. “Look if you would rather sleep in Charlotte’s room, I’m sure she has something you can sleep on in there.” I shut the drawer. "Here you go," I said, turning around to hand them to her, but she was now leaning up against the bed’s headboard, her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling softly.
I smiled as I set the clothes next to her and sat down, pulling her legs up onto mine. The feel of her feet resting in my lap made me want to squirm, and I shivered at the loss of contact as I took off her shoes, setting them down quietly on the floor. I pulled the covers out gently from underneath her and placed them over her.
She moved around at the movement and sighed, “Tyler.”
My eyes widened at the sound of my own name. She moved around, stretching her left arm out placing it above her head, her shirt riding up slightly revealing her stomach. She was exquisite. I turned around and grabbed a pair of shorts and shirt and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Walking into the bathroom, I leaned on the edge of the sink, looking in
to the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot from being tired, and my shirt was stretched out from a night of wear. I turned the water on and splashed my face with shocking cold water. Opening the bathroom cabinet, I pulled out my nightly set of medicine the doctor had given me just days ago. They were necessary, and I hated that I would be taking them for the rest of my life.
Unbuttoning my shirt to change into another, I was reminded again that the pills weren't the only thing that would be haunting me of those awful past years. A long, jagged, bumpy scar ran down my chest. Pulling my shirt over my head quickly so I wouldn't have to look at it any longer, I sighed, hating that the scar that saved my life would haunt me forever.
BRYN:
I woke up in the middle of the night or maybe it was the early hours of the morning now; the ache in my head reminded me why I didn't like drinking much in the first place. I was thankful that there wasn’t much light in the room as I was sure that would make matters worse.
Do I dare even try to lift my head? I asked myself, slowly lifting my head off the pillow as to not cause any drastic movements. Hmm, okay mission accomplished, I thought as I successfully sat up.
I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up a bit, despite the smudged eyeliner and mascara from the night before. I wasn’t in my room at home or the one in New York City. I was in Tyler's bedroom. Besides a few poster changes, things were pretty much the same as I remembered it to be. It even seemed like the same pile of clothes were still all over the floor.
That was when I looked down and noticed that the shirt I had on wasn't the shirt I had left my house in. I pulled the covers up slowly, hoping and praying that I had pants on at least. "Oh, thank God,” I said, relieved that I was fully clothed.
“Mmph.” I turned my head a little too sharply, making my head spin, to see Tyler curled up on a chair in the corner of the room, a blanket wrapped around him. The fact that he had let me sleep in his bed reminded me of the Tyler I used to know. He had always been gentlemanly, chivalrous even. I stood up slowly, adjusting my shirt, and walked over to his sleeping form. So breathtakingly handsome. His lips were in a pout as he slept and his long eyelashes curled up slightly.
I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and stepped out of his room. Looking around the hallway, I easily pictured my younger self running down it with Charlotte, ready to play, to gossip and just be kids together. I checked my phone and saw that it was still pretty early in the morning.
As I walked down to the living room, I noticed Ashton who was passed out on the floor.
“Ash,” I whispered as I leaned down closer to him. “Ashton, I’m going home.”
He groaned and opened one eye, barely, and acknowledged that he had heard me. “Okay.”
I walked out the door, closing it quietly behind me. The walk home was quick, thankfully, and I was reminded immediately that just because it was four in the morning did not mean it would be cool out in Savannah. Entering my house, I went straight for my room, not even bothering to change out of my clothes before collapsing onto my bed.
Last night had felt good, slightly normal even. I wanted to put the past behind me and just start over. Hell, that was why I’d come back to Savannah in the first place, right? I couldn’t sleep much, even though I only had a few hours the night before. I was struggling with the decision of moving forward. Should I take it one day at a time with Tyler and Charlotte? Let them back in if they earn my trust? Or should I just swear them off for good, with the thought of them being able to hurt me so easily a fear of mine.
Figuring it was no use trying to force myself into sleep or make a decision at eight in the morning, I decided it was time to make some breakfast. Setting up everything to make pancakes, I didn’t even hear the door in the kitchen open.
“Whatcha’ cookin’, good lookin’?”
I jumped, spilling the mixing bowl and spoon on the floor, the loud bang echoing throughout the kitchen. Turning around, I saw Ashton walking into the kitchen, shirt off and hair a mess on top of his head.
“Pancakes and you don't get to have any, you asshole,” I said, turning back around to pick up the contents.
“What? Why not?” he asked, grabbing a carton of orange juice out of the refrigerator and pouring himself a glass.
“Seriously? You let me get shit faced drunk with people I barely knew and some I was getting to know all over again. I could’ve said or done something stupid. And then after you were done handing me shot after shot, you left.” I started to look for a broom to sweep up the flour, racking my brain trying to remember where I put it.
“You seemed like you were having a good time. When Grace showed up, I kind of got distracted.”
“Yeah, that's for sure,” I replied sarcastically, mixing new pancake ingredients in the bowl, ignoring the small mess on the floor for now. “How do you know some random guy didn’t try something on me last night? I was completely wasted.”
His eyes widened. “Did anyone lay a hand on you?” he questioned me, his tone serious. “Because if anyone laid one fucking finger on you, I’ll kill them.”
I shook my head. “No, Ashton, nothing happened. But I did wake up in Tyler’s bed this morning.” I poured out a couple of pancakes on the griddle. “Nothing happened,” I added.
He sighed and shook out his arms. “Good, I like him. I didn't want to have to fucking kill him.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can take care of myself you know.”
He shrugged as he came over, pulling me into a hug. “I just worry about you, Bryn. You mean a lot to me.”
I wrapped my arms around him, reciprocating his hug. “I know.”
“Apology accepted?” he asked.
I nodded, hugging him tight before releasing him and returning to my pancakes. “Okay, you can have some when I’m done.”
Ashton sat down at my kitchen table, his phone out in front of him. “Tyler just texted me asking if I knew where you were.”
I flipped the set of pancakes I had on the griddle in front of me. “Tell him I couldn’t sleep and I came home.” Then I got a crazy idea. “Actually, invite them over. What the hell, right?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll let him know. It’ll probably be Tyler, Charlotte, Jason and Eva just so you’re prepared. Jason eats a lot of pancakes.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I had just finished off the first batch of pancakes when Tyler’s head appeared behind the door. “Hey guys, mornin’. Thanks for making breakfast, Bryn.”
“Sure,” I said, putting a stack on the plate. “Hey Tyler, can I talk to you for a second?” I wiped my hands on a towel and we walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, leaving Ashton in charge of the pancakes for now.
“Look, I'm really sorry about last night.” I laughed nervously, trying to make myself relax.
He held his hands up. “You have nothing to apologize for. I felt bad having to change you into my shorts though.” I looked down and saw for the first time that these were definitely not the same pair of shorts I had put on before the party. Which meant he had seen me naked…
“I swear I tried not to look,” he said, shifting his weight on the couch. I looked at him, shocked.
He started to laugh, and I hit him in the arm realizing he was only kidding. “You asshole, you had me believing you for a second. I was about to get pissed.”
“No, I wouldn’t do that. You must have woken up in the middle of the night and changed into them yourself. I hope you didn’t mind sleeping in my bed.”
I shook my head. “No, it was fine. I appreciate it. I’m just embarrassed about this whole subject,” I said, wanting to change the topic.
“So, you still like to cook?” he asked, changing the subject with perfect timing.
I nodded. “Yeah, I do, it relaxes me. I hope you guys don’t mind pancakes though,” I said, wishing I had asked what they wanted.
He laughed. “Bryn, everyone will be more than thrilled you made breakfast."
“Oh, okay good. Yeah I love to cook, but I ha
ven't really gotten the chance to try out my new kitchen here yet.”
Then, I got an idea. “Would you maybe want to come over for dinner sometime? I mean, as a thank you for taking care of me last night?” I blurted out suddenly. I mentally kicked myself.
Holy hell, what was I doing?
“I'd love that.”
We walked back into the kitchen, and he took one of my pancakes and ate it plain. “These are good by the way.” He reached over for another at the same time I had, and our fingers touched, a spark shooting through my arm. Our eyes met and he smiled, pulling his arm back.
“Well good morning, ladies, gents and Tyler,” Jason said, his mouth full of pancakes, breaking mine and Tyler’s stare. “Bryn, these are amazing.”
“Maybe I should make more?” I questioned, looking at Tyler for some insight.
“You should know by now that with Jason you always have to make more.” He pulled a chair out and sat down at the table. “Where's Eva?” he asked.
Jason looked like he had to force himself to swallow what seemed to be a large bite. “Eva’s still sleeping. She was pretty tired this morning…if you know what I mean,” he said suggestively.
Not long after I had finished making the second round of pancakes, the rest of the group came in, taking their plates and sitting down at the long, mahogany table. I rolled my eyes as I started to clean up the mess, never liking this part of cooking.
“Here, let me help you,” Charlotte said, standing next to me at the sink and turning on the hot water.
I smiled at her generosity and handed her the liquid soap. “Thanks.”
---
My mind was racing. Charlotte, Jason and Tyler had left soon after breakfast was over and Ashton stayed to hang out and had just left. Closing the door behind me, I slid down the back of it to the floor, gathering my hair into my hands out of frustration. Part of me wanted to call Tyler and tell him that I was way too busy this weekend and therefore we needed to reschedule. Or that we needed to cancel it all together. Rocking back and forth a few times, I started to feel stupid. “Don't be a coward,” I said out loud, knowing if I canceled I would only hate myself for it. I walked into the kitchen to do some preparing. I opened the refrigerator door with a groan; it was empty even after my shopping spree last week. Yawning, I suddenly wanted my bed more than anything.
More Than You Know Page 8