by Beth Maria
I don’t know how much longer I push for, except I know that I cannot push any more. I don’t have the energy. I just want to go to sleep already. This baby just doesn’t seem to want to come out.
“You are so close, Chloe. Can you push once more for me please?” Tina asks.
I shake my head no. I can’t. I don’t have the energy to even speak, let alone push!
“Yes, you can, baby. You are doing so well. I’m so proud of you. I love you,” Jake whispers in my ear. Hearing those three little words gives me the strength to push one more time.
“ARGHHH!” I scream, giving one final push.
“Heather, I need a local anesthetic and the scissors.”
What is going on?
“What’s wrong?” Jake asks, voicing my thoughts.
“It’s nothing to worry about. The baby’s just a little stuck and needs some help to get out. We’re going to have to perform an episiotomy.”
“A what?”
“We need to cut Chloe’s perineum to allow the baby more room to get out, and we need to do it now.”
I tiredly watch the midwives moving around, passing things around, though none of it really registers. Ow! That freaking stings! If I wasn’t so tired, I would have had them explain what the pain was all about. I just want to go to sleep.
“Okay, Chloe, push one more time for me, and you will have this baby.”
I do as I’m told without arguing, giving this final push with everything that I have left in me. I feel tugging going on down below, and that’s what I hear it.
My baby’s cries.
“Congratulations! You have a little boy,” the midwife says before placing my son on my chest. “Dad, would you like to cut the cord?”
“Yes, please,” Jake says, adoration shining brightly in his beautiful eyes. The midwife shows him where to cut, and as soon as he’s done, he’s back by my side, both of us looking down at our precious son. It brings tears to my eyes. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, with a little bit of brown hair and big brown eyes. He looks just like his father, for which I couldn’t be more proud.
“He’s perfect,” Jake whispers.
“He is,” I reply before turning my head to face Jake. The smile that stretches across his face is a memory that I won’t forget in a hurry. I’ve never seen him so happy, with love shining in his eyes for me and our baby.
I bend my head down and plant a tender kiss on my son’s head, love flowing through my body just from that small contact. It’s weird, the amount of love you feel for a person that you’ve just met. There’s a need that you feel to protect them from all the evil in the world, and to make sure that they never cry. That feeling hit me as soon as I held my baby. I know that this is the happiest moment of my life.
“Shall I go and tell the others the good news?” Jake asks, tearing me from my thoughts.
“Shall we name him first, so that you can tell them what we’re calling him?”
Jake’s eyebrows scrunch up adorably. “How did I forget that part? I’m just so excited to tell everybody that I’m a father to a little boy that I forgot to name him.” Jake laughs. “Have you decided between the two names we liked?”
I nod my head yes, and looking down at my son asleep in my arms, I know that I’ve made the perfect choice. “Yes, I have- Noah Martin Peterson.”
Jake nods his head slowly. “It’s perfect for him. You’re dad would be proud of you, you know,” Jake tells me, leaning over and giving us both a kiss on the forehead before exiting the room to tell everybody the news.
A sob escapes me. Oh, how I wish my father was here to meet his grandson. He would have loved him. I just hope he’s looking down on us from up there.
I hope you’re proud of me, Daddy.
Jake
I have a son. I can’t believe it. I’m really a father to a beautiful baby boy. He really is perfect in every single way, from the top of his head to the tip of his tiny wrinkly toes. And he looks exactly like me, so he’s going to have no problem getting the ladies when he’s older. I’m already planning on what I’m going to teach him about chatting up the ladies. HA!
I practically skip into the waiting room, where I meet four expectant faces. I just stand staring at them, not making any move to tell them just yet. I take in the atmosphere around me. Jesse looks like he’s on the verge of falling asleep. Maisie looks pissed off, but she’s trying to hide it. Evan and Brandon actually look excited to hear my news.
“Well…?” Maisie asks, growing frustrated when I make no move to tell them.
“It’s a boy!” I express happily with a beaming smile.
Maisie jumps up from the chair she’s sitting on and slams straight into me.
“I knew she was having a boy! I’m so happy for you, Jake. I can’t believe that I’m an aunty now,” she says, sounding all emotional.
I pull back and look at her, my smile slipping from my face a little bit when I see that she’s crying. “Hey, why are you crying?” I ask, wiping a lone tear away from her cheek.
“Oh, these are happy tears. I’m so happy for you. Can I see him? Oh, and what did you name him? I know Chloe was torn between Jacob and Noah. Oh, and what did he weigh? Was he big?” she asks, spouting question after question and causing me to laugh.
“Slow down. First of all, yes, you can see him, all of you can. Second, we decided to call him Noah Martin Peterson, after Chloe’s father. And third, he weighed exactly eight pounds, so yes, he is a chunky baby.”
“Congratulations, man,” Evan says, pulling me in for a man hug.
“Thanks. It truly was the best moment of my life. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Chloe did an amazing job. I’m so proud of her it’s unreal. She did it all without an epidural, and she had to have an episiotomy.”
“A what?” They all say in unison, not having a clue what I’m going on about, not that I can blame them. Up until half an hour ago, I didn’t have a clue either.
“Oh, they had to cut her perineum to allow the baby more room to get out. My chunky boy got stuck.”
“Eurgh, seriously, bro? You couldn’t have kept that bit of information to yourself?” Brandon tells me, his face all pale like he’s going to be sick.
I just laugh at him, shaking my head at how much of a prude he’s being, before turning around to head back to the room that Chloe’s in.
I open the door to find my beautiful woman asleep with Noah cuddled up next to her. She must be exhausted after all of that. I move into the room and gently pick up Noah, walking over to his bassinet. I’m about to lay him down when Maisie says, “Oh, please, can I hold him?”
They were so quiet that I didn’t hear them come in behind me. “Sit down then.” She does as she’s told, holding her arms out expectantly. “Make sure you support his head.”
“Jake, I know how to hold a baby. I’m a woman, remember? We’ve been practicing how to hold babies since we were babies,” She scolds, her eyebrows raised.
“Touché, little sister. I’m just protective of my boy,” I tell her honestly. God, I can’t even begin to think about how I would react if anything bad ever happened to him.
“Jake, I will be careful. I promise. I don’t want to hurt my nephew either, you know. Now give him to me so I can see how beautiful he is!”
I place Noah gently in Maisie’s arms, causing him to stir a little.
“Oh my, he is the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life! Hello, Noah, this is your cool Aunty Maisie here. I just want to let you know that if your mommy and daddy are being horrible to you, or they won’t let you have something, you come to me, okay? I’ll sort them out for you. Oh, Noah, we are going to do everything together. I’m going to spoil you rotten. Oh, and you wait until your grandparents meet you. They are going to love you so much that they will probably end up stealing you,” Maisie coos to Noah, not bothered that everybody is watching her interact with a baby that doesn’t have a clue what she’s going on about. “I will protect
you from anybody who hurts you, and if I can’t do anything about it, then I will tell Uncle Jesse. He will definitely be able to do something.”
I look toward Jesse, expecting to see shock all over his face, except he hasn’t noticed that I’m staring at him as he’s looking straight at Maisie with wonder and adoration written all over his face. That boy is head over heels in love.
“Can we get a hold?” Evan cuts in.
“No, you cannot. Go get your own nephew. This one is mine,” she tells him seriously.
Evan and I burst out laughing.
“Come on. Pass him over. You can hold him anytime because I’m sure you will probably move in now anyway. Hey, I’m not going to complain though. Free babysitter!” I wink at her, and she just rolls her eyes at me, begrudgingly passing Noah to Evan.
“So, what happened between you and Maisie?” I whisper to Jesse, watching Maisie giving Evan a lesson is how to hold a baby, while Brandon just stands behind looking a little wary. I dread to think what he will be like when he has his own child if he’s acting like this around somebody else’s child.
I hear him sigh, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of Maisie. “She took one look at me and could tell that I was drunk. She’s been ignoring me ever since. I know that she’s waiting until we get home to make a scene, and I don’t think I can handle that tonight. I just want to go to bed and sleep off this hangover I’ve currently got.”
“If you want, I will take her home with me so you can get some peace. I’ll say that I need some help setting up last minute baby stuff. Then maybe I can think of something to say to get her to lay off of you about marriage for a while.”
Turning to look at me, he asks, “Would you? I just need some time to think over what I’m going to say.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’ll take her home with me. Why don’t you go home now? You look like shit, man.”
“Fuck you. I always look sexy.”
“Except when you’re drunk dancing,” I murmur, stifling my laughter.
“What did you just say?” Jesse asks confused.
“Nothing, man, not a thing. Right, so you go homem and I’ll bring Maisie over tomorrow.” I clap him on the shoulder before turning to check on my son, who is currently being held by Brandon. I don’t know how I feel about that. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but what if he drops him. He’s always been the fucking stupid one, though my fears vanish as soon as I see the smile that graces his face as he looks at Noah. Stupid fucker is a softy under that playboy exterior!
It wasn’t long before Maisie realized that Jesse had left and gone home. I had to explain to a pissed off Maisie that she was staying with me tonight, as I needed her help. That seemed to instantly calm her down, knowing that she was helping me with Noah. It wasn’t long after that Evan and Brandon both left, promising they would come back to check on us tomorrow. I thanked them for everything and saw them out.
Now I’m sitting with my son fast asleep in my arms, my fiancé fast asleep in the hospital bed next to me, and Maisie reading her Kindle. Damn, that girl has always loved to read.
“What are you reading?” I ask, trying to make conversation. To be honest, I’m really not interested in what she’s reading, but I can’t deal with this silence any longer.
Maisie looks up from her Kindle and says, “Oh, a book Jesse’s mom recommended to me a few months ago called Silver Lining. With everything that’s happened the last few months, I haven’t had a chance to read it yet.”
“Is it good?”
“Jake, why are you asking me this? It’s not like you even care about what I’m reading. Whatever’s on your mind, just spit it out already, will you?” She closes her Kindle, dropping it onto her lap before crossing her arms and giving me her full attention.
Fuck, what am I going to say? I don’t have a clue, but I know that I need to think of something, and fast.
“I’ve heard that you keep pestering Jesse about marriage,” I start, trying to tread carefully.
“And…?” she asks, waving her hand for me to carry on.
I take a deep breath and just blurt everything out. “Look, Maisie, give the guy a break, will you. He looks stressed, stressed like I’ve never seen him before since I’ve known him. The guy is head over heels in love with you. How much more proof do you need? You’re all he sees when we’re all in a room, and that isn’t going to change. You don’t need to worry about him leaving you, because that is never EVER going to happen. Do you understand me? You just need to give the poor guy time to do it himself, when he’s ready. You carry on pushing him, and you’re going to lose him. Is that what you want?”
Maisie casts her eyes downward, thinking it through. I really hope I can get her to understand without giving too much information away.
“No, that’s not what I want, and you know it, Jake. I love that man more than life itself, and I can think of nothing else but spending the rest of my life with him. I know I’m still young, but when you proposed to Chloe, it made me realize that Jesse and I haven’t had half of the problems that you two endured, but somehow you’re still getting married before us. I guess, if I’m being totally honest, I’m jealous, Jake. I want the big white wedding, everything a girl has ever dreamed about since they were children. I’m constantly scared that one day Jesse will wake up and realize that he made a mistake by being with me. I mean, look at him. He’s like an Adonis, sexy and carefree, but he’s the sweetest guy underneath that tough exterior. And then there’s me. What exactly can I offer him that other girls can’t? I’m not the prettiest girl in the world. In fact, I’m rather plain compared to some of the girls he’s been with in the past, and I’m nowhere near as skinny as them. So yes, I’m pestering him because I’m scared that I’m going to lose him. I don’t think I could cope if I lost him a second time.” Tears roll down her cheeks as she admits her insecurities. Fuck, I didn’t know she felt like this, though I wish I had so that I could have taken them away. She’s my little sister, and I try to protect her as best as I can- from other people and herself.
I carefully stand up and put Noah in his bassinet before making my way over to Maisie and crouching down in front of her.
“You listen to me, and you listen good. Jesse is never going to leave you, EVER, okay? And not because I will break his legs if he hurts you, but because he loves you too much to ever let you go. Don’t you ever say that you are not as pretty or as skinny as the other girls, because you have something that they don’t - Jesse. You are one hundred times prettier than all of the others, and I’ll also let you in on a little fact. Men like women with curves, something that they can grab onto. We don’t like girls who are twigs. We like proper women, and you, my beautiful sister, are a proper woman. As for the marriage, I know that Jesse would marry you in a heartbeat, but don’t you think he would want it to be a surprise? He’s not exactly going to turn around and say, ‘Hey, Maisie, I’m going to ask you to marry me next week. Just a heads up,’ because that wouldn’t exactly be romantic, now would it?” That causes her to laugh through her tears. “Just give the poor boy time and show him how much you love him. Remind him about why you two are together if you worry he’s going to leave you, though I know he never will. You’re it for him, Maisie. It’s time you started believing it for both of your sakes and your relationship.”
“You’re right. You’re totally right. I’ve been such a fool, constantly arguing with him over pathetic things. We’ve both been miserable the past few months because of my stupidity. I guess that was the reason why he was drunk tonight, huh?”
I just nod my head.
“I did that. I made him so stressed that he had to drink his problems away like he used to. God, I’m the worst girlfriend. I need to see him. I need to apologize and let him know that it’s up to him to decide if and when he wants to marry me. I swear I will never press the issue again!”
The tears are still coming, and it breaks my heart to see my little sister crying, knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do ab
out it to protect her, except try to reassure her. I swipe a loose bit of hair that has gotten stuck to her tears back behind her ear.
“You can see him tomorrow. Just let the alcohol wear off first, and let him have a good night’s sleep. He will be fine tomorrow, and then I will take you to see him. Deal?”
“Okay, deal,” Maisie replies, giving me a weak smile, which I return.
The door opens, and an elderly nurse walks in. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours finished a few hours ago. You’re going to have to come back tomorrow.”
I swallow and nod my head. “Yes, ma’am. Let me just tell my fiancé and say goodbye to my son.”
She nods her head, giving me a weak smile in return. She must have to deal with kicking fathers out all the time, but my God, it sucks knowing that I’m going home and leaving them here all alone.
“Do you want me to give you a moment?” Maisie asks.
“Yes please.”
She gets up and leaves the room quietly. I stand, just watching the two most important people in my life sleeping. I truly am so lucky to have them in my life.
After slowly making my way over to Chloe, I stroke her cheek. Her skin feels soft under my fingertips. “So beautiful,” I whisper.
“Hmm,” Chloe murmurs, stirring from her sleep.
“Princess, I have to leave now. I’ll be back first thing in the morning to bring you home, okay?” I tell her quietly. When her eyes flutter open, the blueness of them sucks me in like they always do.
“Please don’t leave me,” she pleads, grabbing onto my hand that is touching her face.
“I have to. Visiting hours finished hours ago. They allowed me some time with you and Noah, but now I have to leave. I promise you that I will be back bright and early tomorrow morning to bring you both home. Maisie is staying at ours tonight to help me with last minute preparations.”
I watch as understanding dawns on her face. “Okay, I love you.”
“I love you too, both of you. I’m so proud of you, by the way. You amaze me more and more every day, so thank you. Thank you for giving me our beautiful son and for also still loving me. You’ve made me the happiest man alive. Get some more rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”