“Of course,” Elijah told him. He licked his lips, ignoring the fact that what he said wasn’t exactly true. He didn’t want to hook up, at least not with this guy, but he kind of needed to. “We can hook up without doing the whole kissing thing. I don’t kiss.”
“Okay…” Will nodded, but he didn’t look like he understood.
Elijah unzipped his pants and lifted his hips, pushing the fabric down to his knees. Will looked down at him and chewed on his bottom lip.
“Go for it,” Elijah told him.
Will looked around outside the car to make sure none of his idiot friends, or anyone else for that matter, were lurking around out there. He felt Elijah’s hand on the back of his head and let Elijah steer him lower until his mouth was covering his beautiful cock.
Elijah turned and looked out the window. As Will slowly started to blow him, he watched the cars driving down the one-way road. He looked up at the dashboard for the time. It was just after midnight. For a second he closed his eyes and focused on Will’s mouth around the tip. Focusing wasn’t that easy.
Will pulled off and started to jerk him off for a moment. Elijah looked down at him.
Why wasn’t this working?
“You’re not even getting a little bit hard,” Will told him. “I know it’s a little cold in here –”
“Put it in your mouth again,” Elijah said, cutting him off. He rested a hand on Will’s back and closed his eyes. Will went back to blowing him, but he was still completely soft.
You’ve got to be kidding me, he thought. He tried thinking about things that turned him on – his favorite pornos, pool sex, strip teases.
Yet nothing was helping.
After a few minutes, Elijah pulled Will off and rubbed tiredly at his temple. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s up with me.”
Will sat up and forced himself to smile. “No. It’s alright –”
“Let me try,” Elijah reached down and began to stroke himself. He closed his eyes and tried not to think. Nothing was helping. He was still completely soft.
Come on.
“What’s his name?” Will asked.
Elijah stopped trying. Fuck it. Will was right. This had to be Grayson’s fault. He let his hand rest on his thigh and took a deep breath. Outside, he could see Fallon leaving with a random guy.
Congrats to her.
“His name is Grayson.”
Will nodded. “I see.” They both sat quietly in the back of the vehicle until Will turned to look at him. “I hope you and him aren’t… together –”
“No,” Elijah said quickly. “We never were. It was just a fling.”
“If it was then you’d probably be able to get a hard on right now…”
Elijah rubbed at his eyes before pulling his pants back up. “I think I was just cold like you said.”
Will scratched at his head. “We can go back inside for another drink and try again in a little bit if you want.”
Nope. He didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of not being able to get an erection twice in one night for this guy. Though something told Elijah that if he were here with Grayson, he’d be harder than a brick right now.
“I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I have to work and hang with my niece. I better get going anyway.”
Will looked a bit disappointed, but he didn’t argue it. Elijah was thankful for that much. He gave an awkward goodbye and got out of the car first.
He walked Will back to the club and said farewell before making his way to the Spring Street subway station. Hopefully, none of his friends saw him leaving alone. They’d bring up how out of character it was for him and Elijah didn’t want to be bothered.
At first, he considered going straight home – maybe getting in the shower and forcing himself to get some sleep. But that hadn’t been working the past couple nights he tried it. Not since Grayson came along. Elijah decided to get off the train a couple stops early.
There was nothing that some Lily therapy wouldn’t help.
∞
Of course, Josie looked at him like he was absolutely crazy when he showed up at her apartment at one in the morning. Elijah had no regrets. He leant against the doorway of the brownstone building with an innocent smile – the same one he often wore when he was trying to get out of trouble. It made Josie ask him what he’d done and how much it would cost her.
“Nothing.” Elijah smiled. “Jeez. Have some faith in your little bro.”
Josie left the door open and returned inside. Her daughter was wide awake and in the middle of an attempt to put tinsel in her mouth when she saw her uncle walking in. Lily screeched happily.
“Hey, baby girl!” he ran over, picked her up, and tossed her in the air. Josie smiled at the two of them.
“Not that I’m not thrilled to see you or anything, but what are you doing here?”
Elijah kissed the baby on her cheek and turned to face his sister. “Why are the two of you up and decorating a Christmas tree at this time in the morning?”
Josie picked up an ornament and shrugged. “She wasn’t sleeping and I knew I wouldn’t have the time to get it done over the weekend. I figured we’d do it now.”
Elijah nodded, pushing the tinsel aside and sitting on the old sofa with his niece. She crawled all over him and he began to tickle her feet.
“I was out and decided to stop by,” he said. “Do you need any help?”
She smiled. “We’re open to help. I guess we can talk this out while we work.”
The baby laughed as he blew raspberries into her stomach, falling back on the couch and kicking her tiny footsie-pajamas clad feet. Elijah smiled. This was exactly what he needed.
“I met someone.”
Josie dropped the ornament in her hand and winced as it hit the floor, breaking into pieces. “Shit.”
Lily made an uh-oh noise as she sat up, but her uncle wouldn’t let her down off the couch.
“Really?”
“Crap. I’ll get the broom,” Josie said, walking towards the closet and pushing boxes out of the way as she went.
And this was exactly why Elijah tried not to be honest with people. He’d been here for less than five minutes and already something was broken.
“You met someone? A guy? Like one you’re actually interested in?”
“Yes.”
Lily started to babble and Elijah stuck his tongue out at her, playfully teasing the baby. She was much too awake for this time of night. His sister quickly made her way back over to the spot to sweep up the glass. The DVR was playing an episode of Bad Girls Club and Elijah rolled his eyes at the fight scene happening on screen.
“Why are you watching this around Lily?”
Josie rolled her eyes at him. “She’s not paying it any attention, Eli. What’s this about the guy?”
He picked his niece up and sat her in his lap. Immediately, Lily began her attempts to climb him; her tiny fists clenching at the leather jacket he wore. “I found this guy’s phone and we met up so that I could return it to him. He was gorgeous but way out of my league, I admit that.”
She nodded, pushing the broom and dustpan out of the way.
Elijah rolled his eyes at the TV show on as he reached for the remote, allowing his niece to play with the black earring he wore. “A couple nights later – which was a couple nights ago – I saw him again. Long story short, we ended up hanging with each other for a while and then going home together. Even though he was far out of my league, he didn’t seem to care about my crappy apartment or that I have a fraction of what he makes in a month, I’m sure.”
Josie bent down to pick up some new decorations, but she stared at her brother as she posed the next question. “Did you do it?”
She got an obvious duh look in response. “Of course I did.”
“Hm.”
“But this time…” Elijah trailed off as he looked at his niece. Lily was yammering on about something in the baby language she was fluent in. He kissed her cheek and smiled when
she kissed him back. “This time I got my world rocked.”
Josie laughed a bit herself.
“We did it twice in as many days but he thinks we should stop –”
“You were with the same guy twice in as many days?” Josie looked taken aback as she asked it, but eventually she stood up and went back to decorating her lopsided tree. “Well, then.”
“I know,” Elijah continued. “You don’t have to say it. It’s unlike me, yadda-yadda. I know.”
“He thinks you two should stop. I think that’s the part that really gets me,” Josie told him. “Most of the time these guys are so excited that they can make you pay them attention that stopping is the last thing that they want to do.”
Elijah got up with Lily in his arms. Together, the two of them took the tinsel and approached the tree. “He’s nothing like the other guys and that’s the point I’m trying to make.” He tossed the silver tinsel around the top of the tree and bounced Lily up and down in his arms. “But, he was smart enough to realize that he needs to get away from me so he won’t get hurt down the line.”
Josie blew a kiss at her daughter when she smiled at her. Everything Elijah was telling her was taking time to register. The last time that Elijah talked to her about boys had been the week after he came out. That was back in high school. It was pretty pointless. She had already caught him messing around with one of her classmates when he thought he had the house to himself – a guy who had two years on him. They were seniors when her brother was a sophomore.
Elijah got off to an early start.
But this… Josie could get used to him talking to her about boys because he actually wanted to be in a relationship with one. At the rate he was going, she wasn’t sure that was a thing that would happen. Their mother said he’d come around, though. Their father didn’t seem to care. Elijah got his attitude from their father through and through.
“So, be honest with me,” Josie began. She started to unravel the Christmas lights as her brother looked back at her curiously. “Are you feeling this way because the sex was that good, or is it deeper than that?”
Elijah shrugged. He knew the answer to that, but he didn’t think he was ready to admit that to himself. “I’m not sure.”
She smiled.
“What?” Elijah asked.
“What?” Lily mimicked, reaching for the tree.
Josie continuously worked on the tangled Christmas lights and shrugged back. “I guess you have to take him out and see if there’s something else there then.”
Elijah began to laugh, not caring that his sarcastic sense of humor made Josie roll her eyes. “Grayson is not going to let me take him out,” he said. “He knows my reputation. I practically spelt it out for him.”
“Grayson?” Josie looked up at him.
“Grayson Paul,” Elijah continued. “Do you know Harvey Paul? He’s the record exec at Millennium Records.”
His sister replied with an obvious nod as Lily started to fuss, wanting to be let down onto the floor. “I’m guessing Grayson is his pretty boy son that I see shadowing him in photos? That’s this guy? He grew up rather nicely.”
“He’s the one.” Elijah put Lily down and watched her closely. “I asked him if we could be exclusive friends with benefits, but he shot that down quickly. Said that never works.”
Josie smiled. “It works if you want a daughter whose father pretends she doesn’t exist. You and Grayson wouldn’t exactly have to worry about that,” she continued. “But what else happened?”
Elijah shook his head. “We messed around and then that was it. Haven’t spoken to him since. But, I can’t really get him off my mind. It’s unlike me.”
Lily sat down on the rug, fascinated by one of her toys.
“I was hoping that you’d let me hang out with my lovely niece for the weekend,” Elijah continued. “It’ll help me to keep my mind off of him, I think. And if I can think about something other than Grayson, maybe things will go back to normal for me.”
Josie finally untangled the decorations and began to wrap them around the tree. She thought about that. Never would she have a problem with her daughter spending the weekend with her uncle. Besides, she could definitely use the help with the double shift she had on Saturday and the early shift on Sunday, but, she didn’t know if she wanted her brother to go back to being himself. An Elijah with a guy he cared about could be great for him. Also, if her daughter could grow up knowing what it was like to be around two people that cared for one another, that would be good for her. Lord knew the baby wouldn’t get that from her parents.
“I think Lily would like spending time with you for a couple days.”
The baby looked up from her toy momentarily before she began to babble to herself.
“But, I do wish that you’d talk to Grayson.”
Elijah smiled. “Big sis. I love you, but –”
“There’s really not a but to this. You deserve to be happy. Your behavior isn’t making you happy, no matter how much you pretend it is. And while Grayson may be high profile, I think he’s cute. You should go for it.”
“You know nothing about him. He could be an ax-murderer.”
“I feel like you wouldn’t fall for an ax-murderer. I may not know a lot about my private and secretive little brother, but I know he isn’t crazy.”
Elijah reached down for his cell phone when it vibrated. Mark texted him that he’d actually talked to the girl. They danced, and he got a phone number. Elijah smiled.
“I’ll pack some things for her for over the weekend.” Josie stood up and stretched her arms, yawning as she did so. “I still think you should take my advice about your boy, though.”
Elijah nodded. “Yeah.” He wasn’t going to. “I’ll give it some time.”
Josie reached up to kiss his cheek before picking up Lily. “We’ll go get ready, right pumpkin? Ready to spend a weekend with Uncle Eli?”
“No,” Lily said with a smile.
Elijah smiled. “We’ll you’re gonna, ya little rascal.”
Josie and Lily laughed as they made their way towards the back rooms.
Elijah shook his head and walked over to the couch. He tiredly threw himself onto the sofa and thought about what Josie advised him to do. Grayson wouldn’t want any part of it.
Time would help cure him, though. If not, spending time with Lily would be just what he needed to feel like he could breathe again.
Chapter 12
The weather was freezing on this Sunday afternoon. Grayson pulled his scarf a little tighter around his neck as he got out of his taxi in front of Cleveland Place and Kenmare Street. He looked up at the meeting spot and took a deep breath. After years of telling himself that he’d never do this – that he’d never become his father – here he was on the weekend, meeting someone from the label for work.
He tried to tell himself that this was a one-time thing. It was also necessary. Grayson knew that if he wanted his idea to become a reality and for the show to be a success, then he would need to sacrifice time and put the work in. Besides that, he needed to get out of the apartment anyway. Oscar and Eleanor were beginning to snoop around his door, claiming they were ‘concerned’ about him being in his room for the entire day again. Leaving would get them off his back, and Oscar wouldn’t have to tell him to “get out more.”
Oscar told him that if “getting out more” was because he had to go to work, then it didn’t count, but Grayson ignored him. His weekend so far had been filled with keeping himself busy just so he didn’t have to think about other things. Other people.
Elijah freakin’ Dawson.
He refused to even acknowledge the name now. If he did, he’d have to admit that he spent a great deal of the last couple days looking at Elijah’s Facebook profile and pictures, and Grayson didn’t want to admit that to anyone. Not even himself. Instead, he decided to leave for a bit, distract himself with work, and not think about the fact that he was forming a crush on someone he let screw him over his desk.
After all, Elijah was most definitely past this by now, right?
The meet-up spot was called La Esquina. It was one of SoHo’s best-kept secrets. Looking at it, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was anything special. It looked like a store-front bodega, and the sign even said ‘The Corner Deli’ outside. People continued past the building without even giving it a second thought – unless they wanted a quick sandwich or a pack of gum. But once inside, it was so much more.
The entrance to the restaurant was through a door that looked like it was for employee use only. Grayson pushed open the heavy door, went down the steps, and there he was met with the beautiful interior of the Mexican restaurant. There weren’t many people here with it being a Sunday afternoon, but it was typical for the Harvey Pauls of the modeling, acting, and music world to be here closing a deal.
Isa Blackwell, the promotions manager at Millennium Records, was already at a table towards the end of the room when Grayson walked in. He hadn’t dealt with her much in the past besides getting her a coffee here or there, but today, things were different. She was in the middle of conversation with a young man maybe younger than Grayson – he had long blond hair that was pulled back into a bun, dull blue eyes, high cheek bones, and a jaw line that was basically unreal. Grayson approached them as he watched the man taking notes for Isa. Maybe she hired a new assistant, because this definitely wasn’t the same guy with the occasional greasy food stain on his clothes who’d been running behind her the past couple years. He had on what looked like a cashmere sweater that fit his body nicely and brought out the blue in his eyes. There was no denying that he was attractive.
Isa turned and looked up when Grayson had finally reached their table, and she stood up with a smile. “Grayson! It’s good to see that Daddy finally gave you a big boy job. Welcome.”
Daddy hadn’t technically done so just yet, but Isa didn’t need to know that.
Grayson smiled at her, taking the woman’s outstretched hand. “I’m grateful that you could make it out here on the weekend to help me out,” he answered.
“Anything for your father and his boy,” the woman answered.
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