by Nora Ash
“Oh. Uh.” I awkwardly released my grip on his shirt, the sudden onset of flaming hot embarrassment making his embrace anything but comforting. He released me so swiftly I was sure he was feeling the awkwardness as keenly as I was, but he had the benefit of not lighting up like a tomato.
“I want you to sleep here tonight. It’s the most secure room in the house.” He indicated the door we’d stopped by, and a flash of recognition made me frown.
“It’s your room… right?”
“I’ll be sleeping elsewhere,” he said so quickly I could only assume he thought I expected him to suggest we continue what we’d started downstairs. “And I would prefer if you stay the day in my house. I will take you home tomorrow night once I rise, and we can talk more then.”
“Yeah, sure. Uh, I just didn’t pack any overnight stuff.”
“The bathroom should have everything you’ll need, and there is a set of clothes laid out on the bed for you for tomorrow.” Warin took a step back from me, putting more space between us and the awkward energy left behind once the subject of blood-fueled vampire urges came up. With a swift movement, he brought his thumb up to his mouth. When he removed it again, crimson blood pooled on the pad of it, though I hadn’t seen his fangs lengthening. He reached out and smeared the blood over my throat. Healing his bite marks, I realized. “I have to finish the meeting.”
“All right…” I grimaced and made a vague flapping motion toward the stairs. “You do that. I’ll be up here, trying not to vomit over your guests’ table manners.”
* * *
One thing Warin hadn’t supplied me with, amidst the absolute flood of luxurious body lotions, silk bathrobes, Egyptian cotton towels and high-end clothes left in his room for me, was a vibrator.
I woke up from a long night of uneasy dreams drenched in sweat and so fucking horny I wanted to die. My entire body was throbbing with need, and all I could think about was the way Warin’s cock had felt as it strained against his pants last night.
Fucking hell. I’d forgotten this little side-effect of drinking vampire blood.
* * *
Some four hours later, I sat curled in a sofa in a small study I’d found downstairs, munching on a huge bowl of cereal and nursing my still-cramping right hand. I’d eventually managed to get my rampant hormones under control enough that I could drag myself to a cold shower, and then downstairs to refuel. I’d been hungry enough to brave the fridge, and it turned out that amidst a stock of plastic-wrapped donor blood was a decent supply of unopened human food. He’d really thought of everything. Except warning me I’d be having a sleepover, of course.
“Hello! You must be Liv.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the unexpected, chipper voice that broke through my cereal-crunching.
“Jesus fuck!” I squeaked as I spun around. Aleric’s blonde pet stood in the doorway with a plate of leftover finger-foods and a bright smile.
“Did I startle you? Sorry.” She walked through and plopped down the other side of the couch I was sitting on. “I’m Diva.”
“Hi…” I said. “You don’t remember me from last night, then?”
“Oh, we met already? Sorry, Al must’ve Compelled me. I never remember a thing when we’ve been around other vamps.”
I blinked at her nonchalance. “And… you don’t mind?”
“God, no. Ugh, they’re always so boring when they’re together. So long as he doesn’t erase the sex!” She winked at me and stuffed a cocktail sausage in her mouth. “Gosh darn it, I’m hungry. He must’ve drank more of my blood than normal.”
It took me several moments to align Diva’s cheerful disposition with the mindless dolls and bloody orgy I’d witnessed last night. “I’m sorry, you… you’re the first other human companion I’ve met. I have so many questions.”
“Shoot!” She gave me a brilliant smile. “Al’s your master’s brother, so that practically makes us sisters. Al said you’re very new to this whole thing.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. So, how long have you and Al been together?”
“A few months, I think,” she said after a moment’s pause. “I think he was fucking me and Compelling me to forget for a little while before he decided to make me his companion. That’s the most annoying thing—when they Compel you, but don’t ‘fess up to it. Just, hello dude, at least own your shit, know what I mean?”
“Yeah, that’s…” I blinked down at my now soggy cereal. Diva was not at all what I’d expected, after meeting her while Compelled. “So you don’t mind the whole vampire thing?”
She stared at me wide-eyed, then broke out into a laugh. “No, don’t be crazy! That’s the best part. I mean, the sex alone… isn’t that why you’re with… is it Warin?”
“No, we’re just, uh, friends. No benefits.”
“Uh-huh, sure,” she said. “If you’re his companion, he’s fed you his blood, right?”
“Yeah?”
Diva snorted. “Girl, you and I both know there’s nothing platonic about a blood-bond. God, the attraction alone!”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
She blinked at me, for the first time looking truly shocked. “You mean you don’t know? Well, shit.”
“Know what?” I insisted. An uncomfortable sense of foreboding was growing in the pit of my stomach.
“If he hasn’t told you, I really shouldn’t…” She hesitated, a small frown marring her pretty face. “But it’s not right that he’s keeping you in the dark. Oh, shoot! Fine. As soon as you drink their blood, they can feel you.”
“Feel me?” I asked, eyebrows raising high on my forehead.
“Yeah, you know… where you are. He’ll be able to track you. It’s a stalker’s wet dream, I tell you. And they get crazy possessive. If he’s anything like Al, he’s got a key to your apartment and several pairs of your dirty panties in his drawer. And forget about sleeping with other men, whew! Not that I’d have the stamina, but once I met Al, all my male friends just sorta… stopped coming around. Or he’d tell me they’d been saying nasty stuff about me, so I’d scream at them over the phone and they’d think I was crazy and drop me. It took me a little while to catch on. He’s such a naughty boy.”
“That’s… sociopathic,” I said, but Diva only smiled.
“I think it’s kinda cute,” she said with a shrug. “They can’t love, so this is kind of the next best thing, you know?”
“They can’t love?” I repeated, mind still reeling at the level of fuckery Warin’s brother had put this girl through.
“Nope, he told me. I asked him if he loved me once. He said he couldn’t, but if he could… I’d be it.” She beamed at me for a moment before her smile fell. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to gush. You must be a bit shaken up, if this is the first you learn of your master’s tendencies.”
“Warin would never—” My voice died as her words finally sank in. One by one, flashes of interactions I’d had with my vampire friend played before my mind’s eye. From the bra in exactly my size I’d found with the dress yesterday, to the time I was attacked by skinwalkers and he’d not only found me before it was too late, but later… when I’d dropped my key and he’d just happened to pick it up…
No, this was Warin. Warin, who I trusted more than I’d ever trusted anyone in my entire life. Warin, who’d protected me from day one.
Warin, who’d fed me his blood instead of taking me to the hospital like I’d asked the very first night we met.
* * *
I spent the remaining time before the sun set pacing back and forward in the foyer, trying to walk the icy numbness in my chest away.
Diva had fluttered nervously around me for a little bit, but once dusk began to fall, she apparently decided to be as far away from the incoming fallout as possible and vanished back to her room.
“Liv.”
I looked up at the sound of my name and saw Warin at the top of the stairs. He was fixing a shirt sleeve, but stopped when he saw the look on my face. “What’s happened?” The
air around him swooshed, and he was at the bottom of the stairs in the blink of an eye, walking toward me with a worried frown. In my periphery, I saw Aleric, Carina, and another vampire I couldn’t name make their way down the stairs at a more leisurely pace.
I help up a single finger, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t.”
He stopped, the frown deepening. “Is this about last night?”
“I just want you to answer me one thing. Just one, honest answer. Okay?”
“Always,” he responded softly.
“When we met again in the bar. Was it by happenstance?”
“Liv—“
“Was it?” I interrupted him, my voice sounding weirdly high-pitched, even to my own ears.
A pained flicker crossed over Warin’s face before his expression stilled into a blank mask. “No.”
I’d raised my arm before I even realized—but when I brought my hand forward and slapped him across the face as hard as I possibly could, it was with every intent I possessed.
“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I hissed at the still stone-faced vampire. And then I turned around on my heel and walked out of his house and out of his life.
21
I couldn't remember ever have been so angry.
I ‘d trusted him, in ways I’d never trusted another person before. With everything I was—with my life. And he’d… From the very beginning, he’d lied and manipulated me.
Behind the fury, sorrow and sense of loss built every step as I stomped down the road leading away from Warin’s house. But for now, I could keep it at bay by focusing on my anger—and I relished in it, because I knew the second I didn’t have it to cling to anymore, there’s be nothing to stop the despair from closing over my head like the deepest, darkest sea.
But as furious as I was with him, I was even more so with myself—for being so fucking naive. For letting myself get manipulated by a creature who had told me time and time again what he was. I’d been too blinded by the magnetic resonance between us to realize it’d been make-believe—parlor tricks from a man who wouldn’t hesitate to bend my will to his. Goddess, he’d even admitted it, hadn’t he? That he’d tried to Compel my memory of our first meeting.
I’d lived my entire life with the unwavering knowledge that I should never trust anyone to have my best interests at heart, and what had I done? I’d dropped my shields at the first run-in with a man who seemed to truly, deeply care.
Key word being “seemed.”
Goddess, I was such a fucking idiot.
A swoosh sounded from behind me, and suddenly Warin stood on the road a few yards in front of me.
“Did you not hear me say that I don’t ever want to see you again?” I snarled before I took a step to the side so I could get around him.
He mirrored my movement, blocking my way again. "Loud and clear."
“Then maybe you should fuck off!” I stepped to the other side, and he followed me again. Fine! I stomped straight ahead, fully determined to push him aside with my shoulder.
Unfortunately, the result was pretty much the same as what I imagine trying to bully a three-ton rock off the road would have been. I smacked into his shoulder with mine, and was bounced backward with the force of my own momentum.
Warin caught me lightly by the elbow until I regained my balance, but was smart enough to let go immediately after that.
“Liv, listen to me—“
“No! You do not get to speak!” I was aware I was screaming, but I didn’t care. “I know what you did, you sociopathic prick! I trusted you, and you— you manipulated me! You made me drink your blood, Warin. Your blood. You could have taken me to the hospital. You could have not made me drink it again yesterday, without so much as telling me what I was doing!”
“I know,” he whispered. “I know why you’re angry. I understand.”
“That’s fantastic for you,” I hissed. “Then kindly get the fuck out of my way!”
“I can’t. I can’t let you leave like this. The skinwalkers—“
“Fuck the skinwalkers!” I snapped. “And fuck you!”
“Liv!” It was the first time he’d raised his voice at me, and the sheer surprise of having the power of his full authority aimed at me made me take a step backward. “I understand you’re angry, but I am not letting you walk into the night with skinwalkers on the prowl. Do not make this worse by forcing me to restrain you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “If you put your hands on me right now, I swear…”
“I won’t. But I cannot let you leave.”
“I’m not going back in there,” I said, indicating the direction of his house with a nod of my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you ever again.”
“Liv…” There was so much pain in his darkened eyes that it pierced through my anger and stabbed deep into the cesspit of agony behind my ribs. I only managed a broken sob in response this time.
“I am… I am so sorry. I… I know I have no excuse, but I…” Warin trailed off, shaking his head.
“Why? Just tell me why?” I sobbed.
“Because I knew I needed to see you again,” he whispered. “You were… I’d given up on everything. I didn’t want anything from this world anymore, and then… there you were. This… this burning fire of pure life, thrown into my arms when there was nothing left for me. In my entire life, I have never met anyone like you. Being near you—even in that cell… it was like feeling my heart beating again. You don’t know how long I’ve been numb. How many centuries, Liv. I couldn’t let you walk out of my life again.”
I had expected that he'd try to convince me that it wasn't that bad or that I was overreacting. I hadn’t expected this.
When I saw the raw anguish deepen in his gaze, something in my heart twisted in response.
“I regretted it that same night. I was so ashamed of what I’d done. You are the only one, save my blood brother, who has ever put themselves in harm’s way for me, and I repaid you by deceiving you. That’s why I didn’t seek you out for the first few months. I told myself it was enough that I knew you were out there, alive. But…” He looked away, as if the shame became too much to bear while still keeping eye contact. “When I felt our connection start to fade, I knew I had to see you again. Just one more time.”
“And then I asked you to come back,” I said quietly as I wiped at my cheeks. The tears were still falling in a steady stream.
“I promise you… I swear by everything sacred in this damned world, I have not used the blood bond to manipulate you. I wanted to know you for who you truly are. I wanted a friend. For the first time in my life, I wanted a true friend who was not tied to me by this curse in some way. And I wanted you to know me.” He grimaced. “I guess now you do.”
I hated the fact that my heart ached for him so bad it was hard to breathe. That through my own pain, I did truly see him. Perhaps clearly, for the first time. Not as the mysterious man who was always so in control, and not as the dangerous vampire who’d manipulated me—but as the only creature as lonely, as broken as I was.
“Did you make a copy of my house key?” I asked quietly.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Warin breathed deeply and looked back up at me. “Because I wanted to be close to you, and what I am… I have to fight against it with you. I am… built to take. Possess. I made the copy of your key to appease the monster.”
“That’s what Diva said,” I whispered. I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands. “Have you ever been in my home without my knowledge or consent?”
“No. Never.” The absolute sincerity in his gaze broke the final barrier of icy wrath I’d been clinging to.
I hid my face in my hands and finally gave in to the sorrow. It wasn’t a pretty, lady-like cry. It was full, deep, body-rocking sobs from the very pit of my belly. I cried so hard I had to gasp for breath.
Strong arms closed around me, hesitantly, to give me the chance to pull away, but I didn’t have the strength. Crying
like I hadn’t cried since I was a child, I let the man who’d hurt me deeper than anyone else comfort me with his presence.
I don’t know how long he held me in his arms as we stood in the middle of the street in his quiet, upper class neighborhood, but it felt like hours before my sobs finally quieted and, like the quiet after a storm, allowed a deep peace to settle within.
“I’m not okay with this,” I mumbled into his shirt. “What you did is not okay.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“How are we supposed to be friends when… when there is this between us? When you broke my trust, because of… because of what you are?”
“I don’t know.”
I snorted, a helpless little sound that only reminded me of how fucking lonely I’d been before Warin came into my life. I hadn’t even realized, before he’d been there to ease it in a way I hadn’t known possible.
“Why the fuck didn’t you just ask for my phone number?” I grumbled.
Warin barked a laugh, and for a brief moment his arms constricted tighter around me. “Liv… I will do anything you ask to make this right. Anything. Tell me, and I will do it. I understand that I have no right to ask anything of you, but I am. Please—don’t give up on us.”
I finally lifted my head and looked up at him—and knew that not only didn’t I want to lose him. I couldn’t.
“Take me to the skyscraper again,” I whispered.
Warin’s arms tightened around me again, lifting me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
“Don’t let go,” I said.
“Never,” he promised.
The air whipped against my face as he took to the sky, drying my tears with its icy caress. I didn’t watch the city disappear underneath us this time—I just buried my face in Warin’s shoulder and wished I’d known him when he was still human.