What the doctor had done had destroyed her life and if she hadn’t kept quiet, it might have destroyed Roarke’s and Susanna’s lives too.
“The lawyer swore the baby was going to a wonderful home,” the old man said. “All I had to do was—was make certain the birth certificate had the proper names on it.” He paused, then ran his tongue along his lips. “It wasn’t—it wasn’t so terrible. You couldn’t keep your child, and she was going to have a happy life.”
“And you believed that? You told yourself everything would be fine if you just took the money and ran?”
Hi mouth opened, then clamped shut. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he whispered.
“You mean, you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.”
Ronald was silent. Then he raised his head. “What—what are you going to do?”
Jennifer stared at him.
What could she do? That was the real question. And the real answer was, not much.
If she went to the law, the people who would suffer most were Roarke and Susanna, and they were innocent victims of what had happened.
Still, she couldn’t let the doctor walk off thinking he’d gotten away free. He needed to wake up every morning and worry about what was going to happen, and go to sleep with the same fear every night.
“Jennifer? What will you do?”
Jennifer’s eyes fastened on his. “You’ll find out when I do it.”
His mouth trembled. “Yes, but—”
“I have everything I need to go to the authorities. Or to confront the man who—who is raising my daughter.”
“You can’t! You signed the papers. It’s all legal.”
She swung on her heel and walked away from him.
“Jennifer! I’m begging you…”
She walked faster.
And faster.
Perhaps now—perhaps now, she could start healing.
* * *
She had the next two days off and for the first time since she’d returned from Isla de la Pantera, she didn’t spend them moping around her apartment.
She went to the park instead, her face turned up to the summer sunshine—until a tall man with dark hair came trotting strolling toward her with a child perched on his shoulders.
Tears flooded her eyes and she rose from the bench where she’d been sitting and began a mindless walk that finally ended at her apartment.
When would she forget? she wondered, but she knew the answer.
She would never forget, not as long as she drew breath.
* * *
Life had to go on.
She drove to the next town, to the campus of one of the state colleges. The next semester would be starting soon. She’d always dreamed of teaching.
It was time to stop dreaming and start doing.
She brought the course catalogue home and spent days thumbing through it, taking notes as she read.
Some of the classes sounded wonderful.
For the first time since she’d left Isla de la Pantera, she felt a little hum of excitement.
Still, the nights were difficult.
She dreamed. Of her daughter.
Of Roarke.
Sometimes, the days were difficult too.
It kept happening—she’d see a man who resembled him coming down the street or standing in line at the supermarket and her heart would do a little stutter-step even though she knew, of course, that it wasn’t him.
That was what happened when the doorbell rang one morning.
She’d ordered a couple of text books and she opened the door, figuring it was the UPS guy delivering them.
Instead, it was a man who resembled Roarke.
She felt her heart do that ridiculous little thud-thud…
Except—except this time it wasn’t her imagination.
It was Roarke.
He was here.
He was real.
She mouthed his name.
And the room went grey.
Chapter Twelve
Roarke caught her before she could fall.
It was an automatic response.
No matter how you despised someone, you couldn’t just stand by and watch that person collapse.
Still, his mind registered the feel of her under his hands. The smoothness of her skin. The silky whisper of her hair.
The scent of her enveloped him, a light drift of soap and roses.
For a heartbeat, he forgot everything but this. The way she fit into his arms. The warmth of under his hands. The whisper of her breath.
Then he remembered what she had done, what had brought him here, and when she blinked and said, “Put me down,” he set her on her feet, but kept hold of her shoulders.
“You sure you’re not going to take a nose dive onto the floor? Because I won’t be impressed, Jennifer. I promise you that.”
She jerked free of his hands.
“What are you doing here, Roarke?”
Her voice was steady. The color was returning to her face. He had to give her credit. She’d made a quick recovery, but why wouldn’t she? He’d caught her off guard, but she was strong. Tough. She was not the delicate little thing she’d wanted him to see her as when they’d first met.
“I’m here on business,” he said.
“We have no business to conduct.”
“You’re wrong. We do.”
“About what?”
He felt his jaw tighten. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with any nonsense.
“Mail the documents to her,” his attorney had said, “or I’ll arrange for someone to serve them.”
But he’d said no, he’d do it himself.
His attorney had sighed and said there was no need for that.
But there was a need. In some terrible way, he wanted to see Jennifer’s face when she understood the reason for his visit.
When she understood that he knew what she had been after all along.
“I asked you a question, Roarke. Why are you here?”
“I’m here for a reason best dealt with in private,” he said as footsteps sounded in the hall behind him. “Unless you want an audience while we discuss Susanna.”
That did it. All that showy bravado fled.
“Is she—is Susanna all right?”
“She’s fine.”
She let out a long breath. “Then what—”
He made a gesture of impatience, stepped around her and walked into her tiny living room.
She stared after him, transfixed, while her brain made fevered attempts to understand what was happening. None of this made sense. Why would he suddenly turn up here? Not because he’d missed her, which had been her first ridiculous thought. His tone was coolly polite. Everything about him was polite including the way he was dressed, in a navy pinstripe suit with a white shirt and maroon striped tie.
He looked as if he were about to conduct a board meeting right here in her living room.
And yet, that one moment when she’d come close to fainting and he’d caught her in his arms, that one moment when the feel of him had been so wonderfully, painfully familiar…
She watched as he looked around him.
Her chin went up.
He’d probably never seen a room this small, this shabbily furnished, but she wasn’t ashamed of it. This was her life. Her real life.
The life she had not wanted for her child.
He swung toward her. “I hope I haven’t inconvenienced you.”
She almost laughed.
The man who’d said he loved her, who had discarded her without hesitation, who had not even asked her to tell him her story—not that she would have, but still, he hadn’t even asked—
This man was now hoping he hadn’t inconvenienced her?
But she couldn’t laugh.
Despite everything, she was drinking him in. Filling the empty spaces in her heart with images and memories for the future.
The ruggedly beautiful face. The tall, leanly muscled body. The wide shoulders. The ruler-of-his-ki
ngdom stance.
It infuriated her that the sight of him could still leave her yearning for what could never be.
She saw that he had changed. Not a lot, but he looked different. Older. Wearier. There were new lines fanning out from the corners of his eyes, deeper ones etched beside his mouth.
She longed to go to him. Kiss those lines. Smooth them with her fingertips…
“I probably should have called first.”
Was he going to make polite conversation? Not with her. She wasn’t interested in conversation of any kind with him.
“You said this was about Susanna.”
His eyes turned cold. “Perhaps you’d like to shut the door before I say anything more.”
His words made her throat constrict. “I don’t understand. Is she all right or isn’t she?”
“I told you. She’s fine.”
“Then what—”
He marched past her and slammed the door closed.
“Your concern is touching, Jennifer. It comes a little late, but it’s touching.”
She warned herself not to rise to the bait. “What is it, then?”
He hesitated. When he spoke, his voice was gruff.
“She still asks for you.”
His words ripped into her soul.
“Does she?” She tried to smile, but she couldn’t quite pull it off. “Well, I—I think of—of…” To her horror, her voice broke. She turned away blindly. Whatever happened, she wasn’t going to let him see her cry “Would you—would you like coffee, or…”
“This isn’t a social call.”
Jennifer closed her eyes. “No,” she said softly, “no, of course not. I just—” She paused, then looked at him again. “How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t difficult. Broadwell’s a small town.”
“Yes, but—”
“And there’s just one Jennifer Winters in the telephone book.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize…” She went very still. “You—you know my name is…?”
“I’m pressed for time,” he said brusquely.
She watched as he walked to the window where the afternoon light was streaming in, reached into his breast pocket, pulled out an envelope and extended it toward her.
She looked at it, then at him. A sense of unease tiptoed down her spine.
“What is that?”
“A legal document. I asked my attorney to put things in terms that would be clear to a layman, but if you have questions…”
“But what is it?”
“Read it. It’s self-explanatory.”
Jennifer looked at the envelope, then at him.
“Let’s not waste time,’ he said impatiently. “Read it. Sign it. And we’ll be out of each other’s lives once and for all.”
Out of each other’s lives. Yes. That was what she needed. Roarke, out of her life.
Out of her heart.
She nodded, took the envelope, opened it and withdrew four sheets of legal-size paper. She blinked and looked up. Roarke’s arms were crossed; his expression was unreadable.
“What is this?”
“I told you. It’s self-explanatory. Just read it and sign.”
She bent her head over the pages. Legal terms leaped at her, heavy with stilted verbiage.
Party of the first part…attests and hereby swears…agrees and guarantees in perpetuity…
She looked at him. “How about translating this into English?”
A muscle jumped in his cheek. “It’s a legal waiver.”
“A waiver for what?”
“Look at the last page.”
Her breath caught as she looked at the page he’d indicated.
A check made out to her was clipped to it. The check was for an amount that had too many zeroes to approximate a real number.
She stared at it in silence. After what seemed forever, Roarke cursed, snatched the documents from her, unclipped the check and shoved it into her hand.
Jennifer shook her head. “I don’t understand. What is this?”
“What does it look like?” he asked harshly.
“I don’t know. That’s why I—”
“Did you read the document at all?” Roarke scanned the pages, then shoved the last one at her and jabbed his finger at the final paragraph.
“This is the part that matters. It’s where you agree to give up all future rights and claims to Susanna in exchange for—”
“What are you saying?”
Roarke stared at her through dark, cold eyes. “You won’t get a dime unless you sign.” he said flatly. “And if you’re thinking of holding out for more—”
The check fluttered from Jennifer’s hand and fell to the floor.
He knew! Oh God, he knew.
“—you don’t have a chance in hell of getting her back. If you try, I’ll see to it you spend the rest of your life in court—or in jail. Do you understand me, Jennifer?”
“You—you know,” she said in a tremulous whisper.
“That you gave birth to the child I thought was mine?” His mouth twisted. “Yes. I know.”
She stepped away from him, feeling for the couch she knew must be behind her, and sank down on it.
“Alexandra told you. I begged her not to, but she told you anyway!” tale about her terrible hours in labor.”
“Then how—”
“It was the doctor who arranged the deal for you. The greedy, evil son of a bitch!”
“It wasn’t a deal. Not the way you mean it.”
“You want to call it something nicer, make yourself feel better, hey, that’s your privilege. The point is, Ronald told me everything.”
Jennifer stared at him. “I don’t understand.”
“He looked me up. Called me. Apparently, you panicked him. He was afraid you were going to blow things wide open.”
Ronald had contacted Roarke? Jennifer’s head was spinning.
“Why would he think that?”
“He said you’d spoken with him.”
“Yes. I did. But—”
“And that you were going to sue to regain custody of Susanna.”
Jennifer shot to her feet.
“I never said that. Susanna is yours. She loves you. You love her.”
“He said he wanted to warn me.” Roarke gave a bitter laugh. “A sudden act of decency from a man who contracted with you to sell your baby.”
“No! That’s not true. He told me my baby would go to a good home. To people who would love her.”
“I’m not interested in denials. My only purpose in coming here is to get you the hell out of my life and Susanna’s.” Roarke’s lips thinned. “Ronald had no idea I didn’t know the details. That I didn’t know Susanna wasn’t my biological child. That dirty little secret belonged to him, to Alexandra, her attorney—and you.”
“Dammit, Roarke, are you listening to me at all? Ronald told me he’d arranged for a good home for—for my baby. It was agony to give her up, but I knew she deserved more than I could give her.”
“Right. So you sold her.”
“I did not sell her! And I certainly had no idea that Alexandra had—had bought her, that she’d lied to you about Susanna’s birth.” Tears streamed down Jennifer’s face. “I’m sorry, so sorry you had to find out like this.”
“Damn right, you’re sorry. If I hadn’t offered you the whole package—marriage, a future as a rich man’s wife—you’d have sprung the truth on me yourself. You knew I’d have shelled out whatever you asked to keep you from trying to get Susu back.”
Jennifer’s face paled. “Is that—is that what you think?”
He gave her a look so filled with contempt that it made bile rise into her throat.
“It’s what I know,” he said coldly.
“You’re wrong. Wrong! It’s all a lie.”
“Are you saying you didn’t give birth to Susanna?”
“No. I mean, yes. I gave birth to her. But the rest of it—”
Roarke took a step forward. “You came
to Puerto Rico to blackmail me.”
“I went there to see my baby.” Jennifer’s voice broke. “To make sure she was happy.”
“That’s a charming story.” His tone hardened. “But it’s crap! You came because you’d decided the fifty thousand you got for selling her wasn’t enough. You wanted more. So you flew to Puerto Rico to milk at least another fifty K out of me.” He drew a harsh breath. “Then you had a better idea. If you got me to fall in love with you. you’d have it all. Hell, why settle for a one-time payoff when you could get everything?”
Jennifer wanted to die. That the man she’d loved thought her to be a such a cold, heartless bitch…
She swung away from his hate-filled eyes.
There were lots of guilty parties in this ugly drama.
The doctor, for lying to her about the adoption.
The attorney, for facilitating it.
Roarke’s former wife, for her brutal deception.
Even she, Jennifer, was guilty for not having listened to her own heart.
But her baby, her beloved Susanna, was innocent.
Jennifer turned and looked at Roarke. “Does this change how you feel about Susanna?”
“What?”
“You heard me.” She stood straight and tall, her eyes locked to his. “Susu loves you. She’s your daughter in every way that matters. If you turn away from her, if you deny her your love—”
Roarke’s face contorted as he grabbed hold of her shoulders.
“What kind of bastard do you think I am?” he growled. “Susanna is my daughter. I love her. Hell, I love her even more, now that I—”
He fell silent, but she knew what he must be thinking, that he would love Susu more than ever, now that he knew she had been abandoned by her own mother.
“Jennifer.” Roarke’s voice was rough. “Sign the papers. Give up all claim to my daughter. If you feel anything for her, if you ever felt anything for me… Help me put this nightmare behind us.”
She wanted to tell him that she had no claims, that she had left Isla de la Pantera rather than risk breaking his heart.
She wanted to tell him that she would never stop loving him, that the few weeks they had spent together would be the memories that would warm her through the empty years that stretched ahead.
But it was too late to tell him anything.
Instead, she held out her hand and took the papers. He took a pen from his pocket and gave it to her. She scrawled her name quickly, unable to see what she wrote because she was crying too hard. Once she’d finished, she handed him the papers and the pen.
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