by Katie May
“You know,” Lucas taps his knife to his chin, “I heard that State has one of the best pre-law programs in the country.” Without another word, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and pulls up the website, scrolling until he finds the online application. “I’ll get in, of course, if this is what we want to do.”
“You mean, like, go to college together?” I can barely contain the hope that creeps into my voice. Hope for us. Hope for a future together.
“We’re practically fucking married,” Cassian drawls, causing a blush to rise to my cheeks.
“Don’t be an asshole,” Karsyn admonishes, his own face beet-red. He slaps Cassian over the top of the head, and Cassian twists to punch him back.
Only for both of them to freeze when they see their hands.
Tiny flames dance in Karsyn’s open palm, while Cassian’s fist is coated in a layer of ice.
All five of us stare.
“Well, that’s a new development,” Elias says after a long, pregnant moment of silence.
Cassian grins broadly, waving his ice fist back and forth. “This is so fucking cool!”
“We were told that we might be able to harness some of Peony’s powers,” Lucas says dismissively, already turning his attention back towards his phone. When I check in on his emotions, I find nothing but serenity and acceptance. I wonder if Lucas knew that he could do this long before the others. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me. Knowing him, he already used his fire power to burn the dead body of one of the people he murdered.
“I’ll have to train you guys,” I say, my heart lodged in my throat.
“Sexy training?” Cassian asks bluntly.
Both Elias and Karsyn hit him over the head at that one.
“We’ll need to be careful,” Elias adds with a pointed look at each of his friends. “We can’t just turn into human fireballs every time we get pissed or upset.”
“Or human icicles, as the case may be,” Lucas pipes in, attention still fixed on his phone.
“I wonder if I could turn my cock into an icicle,” Cassian muses in contemplation. “The things we could do, Peony. The things we could do.”
“I’ll go wherever you go,” Elias blurts, bringing us back to the conversation at hand. When I turn towards him, his eyes are soft. Loving. “If that’s to France, Italy, across the street, the grocery store…I’m following you.”
“So we’re doing it?” I feel shaky, but this time, I know that it’s from happiness and not pain. That’s not to say that there won’t be some days where I feel like giving up, feel like giving in, but I’ll have these four incredible men with me every step of the way. I love them the way the shadows love the light. A way that’s pure and desperate and inseparable.
I may go to hell for the things I’ve done, but at least I’ll have four devils to keep me company.
And together, this world will burn.
Chapter 57
Six Months Later
Cassian
“You have a nice ass…and…sass…and…I suck…and…” Scowling, I toss the pen across the room and remove the guitar strap, setting the instrument on the ground. Playing music I can do without a fucking problem, but writing it? Putting your soul into lyrics and notes? Fucking impossible.
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Elias leans against the doorframe of my room, hands crossed over his chest and one leg kicked up. I let out a muffled curse at seeing him. Mom must’ve let him upstairs while I was distracted.
“Just want to get this right,” I mumble, glaring at the offending sheet music. So many scribbles and scratch marks cover the page, it’s nearly impossible to see a single note.
Elias’s face instantly turns somber as he drops his arms and steps into the room. “It will be.”
“This is the most important day of my—”
“It will be,” he vows again, bending down to grab a crumpled piece of paper. I actually fucking blush like some sort of pathetic schoolgirl as he reads through one of the many, many songs I attempted to write. His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.
“And you’re going to college for music?” he asks in disbelief, eyes sparkling with mirth.
“Shut the fuck up, you annoying asswipe,” I grumble petulantly.
“At least it rhymes,” he points out oh-so-helpfully. “Tit and legit. Real top-notch stuff.”
I’m across the room in three long strides, ripping the paper from his hand and throwing it in my overflowing garbage bin. “You will not breathe a word of this to anyone.”
His lips twitch in amusement. “Does this mean I have new blackmail material?”
I know he’s trying to lighten my mood, but my mood refuses to be fucking lightened.
His smile fades as I cross back to the bed, all but throwing myself onto the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. He moves to stand over me.
“Okay, look…I heard your songs before. The ones you wrote, I mean. At the concert in December,” he tells me. I can’t help but smirk as I remember said concert.
The high school’s band and orchestra performed together for some holiday shit show. And while I loved playing with Peony again on stage, the after-show was ten times better. Mainly because it involved her, me, and no fucking clothes.
“Head. Out. Of. Gutter,” Elias snaps, emphasizing each word with a kick to my dangling legs. “As I was saying before, I heard the songs you wrote. They’re good—really good. So why are they sucking so fucking badly now?”
“Because none of them mattered before,” I grumble, bringing my hands to my cheeks and dragging them down. “But this one does.”
“Let me see your songwriting journal or whatever the fuck you write them in,” Elias demands. Normally, I’ll make a smart-ass joke about his bossy tone, but I’m too tired to do anything but point towards my desk, where dozens of old notebooks litter the surface.
Elias grows silent as he grabs one and then another, flipping through the worn-out pages. He’s there for fifteen minutes before he freezes suddenly, a slow, beguiling smile appearing on his face. He waves the notebook in front of him enthusiastically as I stare at him with a quirked brow.
“You do realize that you look fucking crazy right now, right?” I ask dryly as he comes back over and drops the notebook onto my chest.
“This one,” he says simply. When I continue to stare at him, not moving a muscle, he kicks at my leg again, extracting a growl from me. “Look at it, you dumb fuck.”
With a sigh somewhere between exasperated and despondent, I sit upright in bed and pore over the opened notebook. My initial annoyance quickly transitions into shock and then excitement.
“We’re doing this?” I ask him, gaze still trained on the notebook page.
I can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks next. “Graduation day, baby.”
...
Karsyn
“Where is she?” Mom strains her neck to see over the throng of parents hurrying towards the bleachers.
“She’s with her grandma,” I placate soothingly. “She’ll be here.”
Mom clutches the peony to her chest with a huff, even as Dad attempts to calm her.
“You can always give her the flower afterwards,” he suggests. And I swear, the look Mom throws him is capable of curdling milk.
“I promise you, Mom, that we’ll find you after the ceremony is done,” I rush to assure her, squeezing her shoulders. Her eyes, so much like my own, begin to water as she cups my cheeks between both of her hands.
“I’m just so proud of you,” she sobs, forcing my head down to give me a slobbery kiss on the forehead.
“Mom!” I murmur in embarrassment when some of the guys from the football team give me amused looks. Though those looks don’t compare to the ones I get when people discover I share a girlfriend with my three best friends. But then again, they can all go fuck themselves if they have a problem with it.
“We’re going to take our seats now,” Dad whispers as he nudges my mother along. He gives me a clap on th
e shoulder, his eyes watery despite his best attempts to hide it. Pride and love emanate from his gaze as he tousles my hair. “Proud of you, son.”
“You’ll be even prouder when I play for State next year,” I say automatically, my heart gaining wings and fluttering around in my ribcage. State. My fucking dream.
And now, I get to share that dream with my girl and best friends.
In answer, Dad merely reaches into his back pocket and grabs a faded State baseball cap. He places it on his head, mussing his already wild hair.
As my parents drift in one direction with the other parents, I follow the crowd of students towards the small gym where we’ll wait until it’s time to walk in. We all initially had a huge argument when it was discovered that every girl could only walk with one guy. After a heated—and bloody—game of rock paper scissors, it was decided that Lucas would walk with Peony, I would take Mariabella, Elias would take Mariabella’s newest girlfriend, Jennifer, and Cassian would take one of Peony’s close friends, Felicia. It wasn’t ideal, but we didn’t have a lot of choices.
“Karsyn!”
The love of my entire existence runs through the swinging doors of the gym, her white hair billowing behind her like a flurry of snow. She jumps into my arms, legs twisting around my waist, as she frantically kisses me. She ignores the jealous and envious glares of the other girls, the leers of the men, and the confused glances from the people who don’t quite understand our relationship.
“Hey, princess,” I say, peppering kisses along the corner of her mouth as she slides back down my body.
“We’re doing it,” she breathes, excitement dancing in her gorgeous amber eyes.
“We’re fucking doing it.”
I take a moment to admire her in the cream-colored sweater and form-fitting black leggings. She completes the outfit with a pair of dark knee-high boots. The red graduation gown we’re all required to wear is a size too big, stopping just below her knees and hiding her cute little fingers from view. She fiddles with the tassel of her graduation cap as she stares at her fellow classmates.
“We’re finally leaving these people behind,” she whispers, and I can’t quite tell how she feels about that. Mariabella has been accepted into a college a few hours away from State, and though I know that my girl is devastated about the distance, I also know that their friendship will survive. How can it not? Their friendship is one of the most important things in Peony’s life.
“You okay with that?” I finally decide to voice my thoughts. After six months of dating, I realized pretty quickly that this relationship will only work if we’re all honest with each other. Open. For some of us, like Lucas and Elias, that’s harder than others. But as Cassian reminds us numerous times, we’re not only in a relationship with her, but also with each other. That second relationship isn’t in any way sexual, but it’s still important to strengthen the bonds. That’s why Peony forces us to hang out without her once a month. It’ll take time and energy to go back to the way we used to be five years ago, before she left us, but we’re getting there. Slowly and surely, we’re getting there.
“I think it’s time for a change,” Peony states firmly, glancing out of the corner of her eye at a group of girls whispering and pointing. We’ve been getting a lot of that lately. You would think the novelty would wear off, but nope. People still seem to think that this is nothing more than a fling, that we’ll leave her when we get sick of sharing or she’ll ditch us.
But then again, most people these days are close-minded when it comes to things they don’t understand. I’m just fortunate enough that my parents supported me when we confessed the truth to them. Lucas’s parents? Not so much.
Speaking of…
“Where is that little devil?” I question.
...
Lucas
I straighten out my cufflinks as I survey my reflection in the mirror.
Red hair slicked back…check.
Three-piece, gray tailored suit…check.
Loafers shined to perfection…check.
Watch on my left wrist…check.
Ring…
My eyes widen almost comically as I pat down both of my pockets, sighing in immense relief when I find what I’m looking for.
Taking another deep breath, I shrug the robe on and grab my cap from where I placed it on the sink. And then…I see it. A fucking wrinkle.
My frown deepens.
I almost wish I hadn’t been kicked out of the house, if only so my butler, Atkins, could iron my suit.
But alas, Peony’s grandmother’s house, where I’ve been staying for the last six months, doesn’t even have an ironing board.
“You done staring at yourself in the mirror, asshole?” Cassian asks as he straightens his tie. This is the first time I’ve ever seen the man in a suit. The dark brown emphasizes his coffee skin and radiant golden eyes. Of course, the asshole completes the look with a polka dot tie, but beggars can’t be choosers. I’m lucky I got him out of his basketball shorts to begin with.
“Never,” I reply dryly, smoothing out a red lock before putting the hat snugly in place. My lips pull away from my teeth in a grimace. Because this black hat paired with the red robe? Fucking awful. Whoever designed this atrocity must be fired immediately.
“Your parents coming today?” Cassian’s voice grows softer than before, almost as if he’s afraid someone will overhear us.
I pretend not to understand his question at first as I stride out of the bathroom and into the school’s empty hallway. The majority of my classmates are already in the small gym, awaiting the ceremony with bated breath. All of the family members are gathered in the large gym with their cameras and smartphones and beaming, proud smiles.
But not my parents.
Not after they kicked me out of the house without even a backwards glance.
I don’t mind. At least, I tell myself I don’t mind. They were fair-weather friends at best, choosing to be around me on my sunny days and running to high heavens when it was rainy or dark.
“No,” I answer Cassian at last, moving briskly down the hallway. I just want to get to my girl and hold her in my arms. “They’re not.”
“At least they didn’t cut you off completely,” Cassian points out, no doubt attempting to cheer me up.
I stop abruptly and whirl on him, my cold grin plastered firmly in place. Peony calls it my psycho grin, though I don’t know where she got that idea.
“The weekly allowance in my bank account, you mean?” I query before continuing to walk farther down the hall. “You’re right. I would much rather have large sums of hush money than an actual mother and father,” I finish dryly.
“Your sarcasm has been noted.”
We enter the gym, and my eyes immediately seek out Peony, as they usually do when we’re in a large crowd of people. It’s as if everyone else fades away. No, that’s not a good description for what happens. It’s almost as if everyone around her turns into dark, indistinct shadows while she remains a bright and blinding light, calling to the darkness inside of me. And one might think a creature like me would cower from her, but I think a part of me craves all that she offers. I’ve been alone in the abyss for way too goddamn long.
She’s laughing with Karsyn and Mariabella, looking more beautiful and ethereal than the paintings I study in art class. Her white hair, the color of pure and untarnished mountain top snow, loosely curls around her shoulders. Even with the garish red robe and black hat, she’s a vision of beauty.
For so long, I scoured the earth looking for perfection. True perfection, not something that can be faked. I thought it was unattainable until Peony Simone stumbled back into my life after five agonizing years away. Maybe I sought her out for purely selfish reasons, but all I knew for certain was that I couldn’t stay away.
I know that her bitch of mother claimed the spell she placed on us as children caused our hostile reactions towards the stunning woman before me, but I don’t think that’s entirely true. I think I’ve alway
s been a monster, and some beasts only know how to impress their mates through cruelty.
Somehow, someway, Peony tamed my beast. I may always be a creature of knives and shadows, but now, I’m hers. My hands will be stained red with blood for all of eternity, and I’ll never shed a tear because of it. I still remember a few weeks after I killed Emmett, when Peony confronted me about my fucking feelings.
“Are you okay?” She perched herself daintily on my lap as I sat in my favorite rocking chair in the corner of her bedroom. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to my chest, breathing in her distinct scent.
Something about that mouthwatering scent sent my head into a tailspin. I didn’t know how to put it into words, so I never did. I just…enjoyed it. Flocked to it. It was something primitive inside of me, something words failed to encapsulate.
“About what?” I asked amusedly. When she began to fidget, my smile, the one I wore only for her, slipped from my face. “Peony, about what?” I gently rubbed at her soft lips, aching to lean forward and capture them between my own. I learned she liked it when I bit down just hard enough to sting.
“We never really talked about…” She trailed off once more.
I slipped my hand beneath her shirt and splayed my fingers over her soft stomach.
“Don’t make me spank the question out of you,” I warned heatedly, and when her eyes turned into liquid gold, the amber more brown than yellow, I knew she was just as game for that as I was.
Before she could formulate a response, I had her tipped over my knee, her skirt flying upwards until I could see her perfect ass and small red thong. I rubbed my hand over first one cheek and then the other as she whimpered softly.
And then, as if she was suddenly coming to her senses, she sat upright and shifted on my lap until she was straddling me.
“Lucas, I’m being serious. No spankings,” she breathed, cupping my face. “We never talked about what happened with Emmett.”