Off the main courtyard, servants set out breakfast. Ranis, sisters of the Parijana faith, temple wards, and courtesans kneel on floor cushions around the packed tables. My servant, Asha, dines between Eshana and Parisa. My friends motion me over.
“Kali!” Eshana calls. “Join us.”
Women bow as I pass. Many of them still consider me their kindred. I have quit correcting them. Priestess Mita ignores me, her usual reaction to my presence. We have not spoken since I stepped down from my throne. She intends her silence as punishment. Her lack of nagging has been paradise.
Eshana tugs me to kneel between her and Parisa. I set the book in my lap, and Asha dishes me a plate of honey-drizzled fried bread. Her facial scars came from Tarek’s mistreatment, but she fits in with the tournament-scarred sister warriors.
“You look tired,” Parisa says, playing with my limp, unwashed hair. “I have a sleeping agent Healer Baka gave me. Take a little, and you’ll be gone from the world for hours.”
“I’m fine.” Except I do need to bathe. Next to my friends, I am an unpolished gem amid rubies. I tear into my bread and chew the doughy sweetness. “Have you seen Ashwin?”
“Him? Here?” Parisa scoffs. “We’re beginning to think he’ll never choose a kindred and we’ll be stuck in this in-between life forever.”
“Give him time,” I say. “He’s trying to make the best decision for the empire.”
Parisa rubs the back of her hand where her rank mark has long since faded. I advised Ashwin to tell them about his betrothal, but he wants to wait until Gemi arrives. It will not be long now, so I let it be.
“Kali, we heard some news,” Eshana says, her tone overly conspicuous. “Shyla told Parisa, who told me, that you went riding in the city with the prince yesterday. Have you changed your mind about marrying him?”
The table of women goes quiet. I finish chewing and articulate my response. “No. Ashwin and I are friends.”
Eshana bats her eyelashes in confusion. “You’ll wed again, won’t you, Kali?”
Asha observes our exchange without commenting. She must suspect Deven may not be entirely gone. When she is not training with Healer Baka in the infirmary, she assists me. She has tidied my chamber and left heaping trays of food too often not to have poked around for answers. I have none to give, and what explanations I do have are worrisome.
“I should go,” I say, taking my fried bread with me. My friends put up a fuss, but I pull from their grasps.
“Give her time,” Eshana whispers loudly to the others. “She’s still mourning General Naik. Eventually she’ll move on.”
I speed off, blinking back tears. They know nothing. Their biggest concern is winning over Ashwin. They sit in their silk and jewels, surrounded by mountains of food, oblivious to true heartache.
Deven didn’t come last night. Why didn’t he—?
I bump into Shyla at the door. She shuffles back.
“Kali, are you crying?”
Tears sting my nose. They want out badly. I consider telling her everything, but when words are not spoken, they create a divide that cannot be crossed without causing hurt. “Have you seen Deven?”
“Deven?”
I stare at her in horror. “I meant Prince Ashwin.”
Shyla’s frown deepens. I can only imagine what she will say to Parisa and Eshana about our encounter.
“I just left the prince,” Shyla says. “I’ll take you.”
5
ASHWIN
I sit cross-legged on a rug among wooden blocks and build a tower for Shyla’s daughter. My sister Rehan knocks down the structure with her chubby fists.
“You little tyrant,” I chide affectionately and re-erect the tower.
The toy structure is four blocks high when the baby swats it down again. At almost a year old, Rehan is the youngest of Tarek’s children. The palace nursery houses all fifty-two of my siblings. I was so overwhelmed when we met I left, intending never to return, but Rehan’s brown eyes plagued me. She has our father’s eyes. We both resemble Tarek, me more than her. My friends and family looked past his face to see me, so I did the same for my sister. I no longer see him in her at all.
Rehan rocks on her bottom, her sturdy legs spread apart. I restack the blocks, wishing the city was this easy to repair.
From the corner of my eye, I see Kalinda enter the nursery. Her trousers and blouse are wrinkled, her hair tangled. Her gaze slices through me, one part relief, two parts urgent.
Rehan gnaws on a block, my tower forgotten. Kalinda sits in the nursemaids’ reading chair near a stack of children’s books and rests a larger one in her lap.
“Shyla told me you were here,” she says. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“I come here every morning.” I add lower walls to the block tower.
“To do what?”
“Sometimes I read to the children. Other times we play games.” I continue to construct a miniature palace. “Visiting them helps this place feel like home.”
Rehan knocks down the tower again and claps at her conquest. She does not view me as her ruler. I am simply her brother.
“Deven didn’t come last night,” says Kalinda.
“At all?” I ask, looking up from the blocks. She jerks her head side to side. “Could you have missed him?”
“I didn’t fall asleep,” Kalinda retorts firmly. Rehan grabs my leg, anxious about her vehemence. The nursemaid across the chamber sends us cautionary glances. Kalinda explains, “I couldn’t have missed him. I was up all night reading.”
“Find anything interesting?” I ask, my tone buoyant to put Rehan at ease.
“Something terrible.” Kalinda palms the book in her lap. “This says mortal wanderers are doomed never to return to our realm. Deven will remain trapped below and lose his ability to die and be reborn. He’ll suffer an eternal death.”
I grimace. Severance from the gods is a penance beyond imagination for anyone, but especially for a man of faith like Deven. For a short period, he trained with the Brotherhood and almost joined them, eventually enrolling in the army instead.
“Is what the text says true?” Kalinda says, her pitch shrill.
“I haven’t read anything to refute it,” I reply. Rehan takes interest in the blocks again, decimating the palace.
Kalinda drops her chin, her fingers digging into her knee.
“I’m sorry, Kali.”
Her head snaps up. “Are you?”
“Yes.” I cannot place her animosity. “We’ve done everything we can.”
“We are not done,” she replies, pink flooding her cheeks. “We need to search harder for the tale of Inanna’s Descent, tell more people, bring on more readers.”
Her panic overshadows my concern for Deven. “This is consuming you.”
“Agh!” she cries. My sister’s eyes broaden at Kalinda. “Did you really forget the tale? Did you even try to save him?”
“You know I did.” I do not remind her of the long nights I spent researching in my library. Deven’s predicament goes beyond proving my diligence. I have not wanted to risk upsetting Kalinda more, but I finished searching the texts in my library the night after last. We are out of resources. “The gods may have a plan we cannot yet see.”
Kalinda recoils, her expression wounded. “You told me we’d search until we found him.”
“We have searched, but if the origins of the tale are oral, tracking it down may be impossible.” I run my hands through my hair to ease my fidgeting. “How you’re living, straddling our world and the evernight . . . No mortal should sustain that. Maybe Deven didn’t come so you’ll let him go.”
“I’m his only way home!” Kalinda says, jumping to her feet. Her sudden movement knocks over the chair, which hits the mound of children’s books. They tumble to the floor in a landslide.
Rehan startles and sucks in a lungful of air. As she howls, Kalinda’s chin trembles. I lift the baby to calm her. Her weeping rises to high-pitched wails.
“Please don’t cry,” I say,
an appeal for them both.
“I’m sorry I upset her.” Kalinda bites her inner cheek and kneels to restack the books. “I’ll fix it.”
“It’s all right,” I say. “Just leave them.”
She organizes the mess while Rehan wails. I bounce the baby, at a loss for how to console either one.
The old nursemaid crosses to us. Sunsee, the nursery leader, takes Rehan and pats her back. Kalinda rights the tipped chair and drops into it, resting her face in her hands. Her nose hits her wooden prosthesis. She groans and buries her watery eyes in the crook of her elbow.
My suggestion that we may not free Deven was not meant to be callous. The longer this goes on, the more I worry I could lose Deven and Kalinda. She is thinking only of his well-being. Someone must think of hers.
Nursemaid Sunsee quiets my sister. “Might I suggest you read to her, Your Majesty?” she says, passing the baby back. “You could tell her your favorite story when you were little.”
“My favorite story?” I ask.
“Kindred Lakia recited it at bedtime.”
I comb my recollections, coming across nothing of the sort.
Kalinda shoves at her wet nose, damp from repressing tears. “I’d like to hear this story.”
“Come along,” says Sunsee. We follow her into a shuttered chamber in the nursery. She opens the draperies, revealing furniture and wooden toys. “Forgive the dust. This is reserved for the heir. It’s been unoccupied for some time.”
This was my room before I moved to the Brotherhood temple for the brethren to raise me. I explore the chamber and wait for fragments of my memories to return.
Kalinda wanders the perimeter. We reconnect at the bed. A haunting mural covers the wall behind the headboard. The painting depicts a subversive world awash with grays. A path of switchbacks divided by narrow gates meanders into the underground. As I track the path downward, I count seven gateways.
Kalinda approaches the mural in a daze. “Is this . . . ?”
“The tale of Inanna’s Descent,” finishes the nursemaid. She takes my squirming sister from me, setting her down to crawl. “This was Kindred Lakia’s favorite story. Some of the nursemaids would listen at the door while she told the prince.”
“Was there a book she read from?” Kalinda asks.
“No,” Sunsee replies, “she recited the tale by heart.”
I study the mural closer. “I have no recollection of this.”
“You were four years old, Your Majesty.”
Perhaps so, but Sunsee’s nostalgia implies I should remember.
“Why this story?” Kalinda asks.
“Lakia was fascinated by Inanna.” Sunsee points to a tiny outline of a woman at the top. Paths wind between her and the city at the bottom. A shining figure stands with the woman.
How could I forget my mother’s obsession with this tale? I have been a reader for as long as I can recall. At the temple where I grew up, I was the only child under the brethren’s care. Books were my best friends. Could my passion for reading have come from before the temple, from Lakia?
Kalinda indicates the glowing man with Inanna. “Who is that, Sunsee?”
The nursemaid’s voice hushes. “Inanna could not navigate the under realm alone. As the tale goes, she visited the gods’ mountain house temple and prayed for a divine guide to lead her. The fire-god took pity on Inanna and escorted her through the Void to her beloved.”
“Ashwin,” Kalinda utters breathlessly, “is this the detail you couldn’t remember?”
I pry my heavy tongue from the bottom of my mouth. “Must be.”
Kalinda blanches, her bloodshot eyes stricken.
Sparing Deven from an eternal death is possible, but only with guidance from a god.
6
KALINDA
Ashwin steps to my side. “I’m sorry, Kalinda. I should have remembered.”
He was a child, and his later interactions with Lakia were less than favorable. Had Ashwin recalled the entire tale, the solution to freeing Deven would be the same.
I exit the nursery in a haze. A god. I must find a god.
Barring the story of Inanna and her beloved, deities have not dwelled in our realm since Anu bequeathed powers upon the First Bhutas and charged them to watch over mortals. Requesting a god to guide me through the under realm is less plausible than accomplishing the journey alone.
Upon entering my chamber, I stare at my bed. Just two nights ago, Deven and I laid there together. Now I may never see him again.
“Kalinda?” Ashwin asks.
I twist away to conceal my watery eyes. Spread out on the table are my drawings of Deven. The sight of them releases my tears.
“I’m sorry,” Ashwin repeats.
What else can he say? He is sorry this is the end. Sorry I will never find Deven.
A knot of fury swells within me. This cannot be over. But how can I entice a god to return to the mortal realm?
I do not care how daft or improbable my mission may be. My promise to free Deven from the evernight holds true. Leaving him there is not an option.
I yank my satchel out from under the bed and drop it on the mattress.
“What are you doing?” Ashwin asks.
“I’m going after Deven. I’ll find Ekur and beg the gods for help. Should that fail, I’ll cut a hole in the icy lake and go down into the Void by myself.”
Ashwin enters my side vision. “Wait another week and I’ll go with you.”
I doubt Gemi wants to spend their honeymoon in the under realm with me. “I’ve already waited too long. Deven needs me now.”
Pons knocks at the open doorway. “Your Majesty, you have a meeting with Captain Yatin and Ambassador Brac.”
“Not now, Pons.”
“Sir, they’re waiting for you—”
“I said not now,” Ashwin repeats. Pons backs away and leaves us. The prince musses his hair distractedly. He should not have been short with Pons, but after upsetting Rehan, I am in no position to criticize. “Kalinda, you cannot leave. We’re right in the middle of changing the temples and integrating bhutas. I cannot do this alone.”
“You won’t be alone. You have the support of your family and friends.”
He tugs at his lower lip in indecision. “You’ll miss my wedding.”
“I apologize for that.” Ashwin can lead without me and will probably be better off. My reputation is sullied by my bhuta heritage. Unlike Princess Gemi, I do not have food and materials to win over our people.
“You aren’t really sorry,” he says, his gaze fixed on mine. “You’ve been waiting for an excuse to leave.”
“You think I want this?”
“I think you’ve forgotten that people here care about you. Tinley and Pons and Indah did not stay to help us rebuild Vanhi out of devotion to me. They are your friends first. And the ranis? They’re your family. This is your home.”
Is it? I have not felt certain that I am where I belong since Jaya and I lived in Samiya. Since stepping down from my throne, I have fought hard for the reassurance that I am where the gods desire. Giving up my rank was the right decision, but what did I step down to? My reward was supposed to be a quiet life with Deven. Instead I am here, living in the shadow of who I could have been.
Perhaps I am relieved to go. I used to believe everything serves a purpose. Yet, since Deven was taken, I am less certain of the gods’ role in my life. No more can I wait for them to point out the path I should follow. I have to seize my own fate.
“Ashwin, I need to go.”
“You’re talking about traveling into the Void,” he clarifies.
“My fear of the under realm is still less than my regret for what’s happening to Deven. I don’t imagine you’ll understand.”
Ashwin inserts himself between me and my satchel. “I understand you blame yourself for his capture.” I attempt to maneuver around the prince, but he blocks me. “Getting yourself trapped down there won’t help anyone.”
“I’m not trying to h
elp just anyone. I’m trying to help Deven.”
Ashwin gives me a blank look. He cannot relate. His feelings for me hinged upon him thinking he needed me at his right-hand side to rule. He was not in love with me. His great love is the empire.
“Someday,” I say softly, “I hope the gods bless you with a forever love.”
He flinches as though I have cursed him. I reach around him for my bag.
“Will you say good-bye to the others?” he asks.
Defending my decision to more of my friends would take the better part of the day, or longer. Natesa and Brac are not easily swayed. “I’d appreciate your telling them.”
“Natesa will be agitated.”
“Then it will be a typical day at the palace.” My humor does not cheer up Ashwin. “Will you wait up for Deven while I’m gone?” Ashwin agrees, his jaw muscles ticking. I stop myself from fixing his disheveled hair. “You were born for this, Ashwin. You’re the rajah the people deserve.”
He sniffs hard. “Come back soon. And be safe.”
“You too.”
He kisses my cheek and then goes, dragging his heels.
I slump over myself and stare at my bag. What do I even pack? I open my wardrobe closet, and there on the bottom shelf rests my old slingshot. The relic of my upbringing in the Sisterhood temple has been retired. Much has changed since I wielded it. I am so overwhelmed by the task of acquiring a god’s aid that I wish I had never entered the world of men and was still sheltered in my ignorance.
That woman is gone now, and I cannot go back. I can only move forward, regardless of how difficult. The gods’ temple might as well be the sun for how likely I am to reach it, but Deven found me night after night. I can search the unknown to locate this temple. Because if the Void exists, so must Ekur.
A steady flow of feet travels the palace corridors. By some mercy, I venture outside without a single hello and dash down a path shaded by eucalyptus trees. The supplies in my pack are minimal: warm clothes, water flask, hair comb, and a sketch of Deven.
At the rear of the palace, I reach the stables. The long, narrow outbuilding has several archways under domed roofs, stalls that house the imperial elephants. My nose itches from the scent of manure. In an adjacent riding arena, Parisa leads a bull elephant along the fence line. She visits the stables often to assist the trainers due to her gentle hand with the animals.
The Warrior Queen (The Hundredth Queen Book 4) Page 4