by Dee Palmer
“Where did you find these?”
“They were in the party bags from my bachelorette party. I left them in the trunk. I’m never this lucky.” Excitement is making me giddy, and I shuck the coat and leap on to the bed.
Pink laughs as I flatten him. “You think you have enough?” He grabs a fistful and raises a teasing brow.
“You did say more than once,” I quip and squeal as he flips me until he’s back on top.
“And I meant it.” He kisses me until I’m achy, breathless, and right where he left me, only not quite as sated. He sits back up, straddling me as he holds my heated stare. He tears one of the packets with his teeth, unbuckles his belt and steps briefly to the floor to remove his jeans. His erection hard against his stomach, I bite my lip, wondering how good he tastes. I can’t take my eyes off him as he sheathes himself.
“Nice thought, but tonight is all about you, princess.” He covers my body with his weight. I love this feeling, so primal. He positions himself against my slick folds and rubs, spreading my wetness along his shaft. “Buttercup, I’ve tried to make this easy, making you come like that, but I can’t wait anymore, so this might still hurt a little. We’ll take it slow.” His voice sounds ragged, and I can see the tiny droplets of sweat bead at his temples. The softness in his eyes and the concern in his voice have me fighting a lump in my throat. Not quite able to speak, I simply nod. “Okay, princess?” He fixes his eyes on mine as he pushes slowly into me. My body contracts at the intrusion, but it’s not so bad. He pushes further, slowly, inch by inch until the slight uncomfortable sensation of stinging is replaced by a sweet feeling of fullness. It’s wonderful. He groans and starts to change the angle and gently rolls his hips. Oh, good lord, that feels amazing.
“Buttercup, how are you? Am I hurting you? Are you okay?” Pink strains to keep his voice level. I can feel every part of him tremble against me and every inch of him pulse inside me.
“Oh my, Pink, that feels amazing,” I cry out.
“My Pink, I like the sound of that much better.” He peppers kisses along my jaw and my cheek, homing in on my lips. His body moves with mine, perfectly joined, and I can feel his reticence, his hesitation, his tender intentions with each slow steady thrust as he drives into me. It’s heaven, and I want more. “Do you think you could go faster? Deeper?” I want every bit of him. He laughs and I feel that too.
“Yes, princess, I can definitely do that.” He groans as he plunges deep.
“Ahh, fuck!” I yell, and he freezes. “No, ahh, I meant that in a good way,”
“But you don’t curse, are you sure you’re okay?”
“When I feel this good I think I’ll allow myself the odd curse word. Please, Pink, don’t stop, please, please, don’t stop.”
“Fuck yes!” He pulls back and plunges again, deep, hard, and it’s fantastic. The friction and burn set a fire racing inside me. He thrusts and pumps into me, shaking my body, filling me, riding me. His eyes are heated with lust and the guttural sounds escaping him are a wild addition to the sounds of our bodies moving together. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he grabs my bottom, pulling me tighter against him, closer with each thrust. The exquisite deep sensation I feel, as he rubs and touches sensitive tissue deep inside, takes my breath away. My body takes over and starts the steady climb to ecstasy. I feel Pink shift, and he starts to pump faster into me, chasing his own release.
“Buttercup, come with me?” The urgency in his voice has my body spiraling.
“Yes, yes, Pink. Ahhhh!” I scream.
“Fuck!” He pumps and grinds deep, filling me, and taking every bit for his own release. His hot heavy body covers mine and we lie, two sweaty bodies, entwined and exhausted. I’m a quivering mess until I feel his strong arms encase me in the perfect hold.
His hot breath is deep and steady against my neck, and I can feel him still kissing my hair as he pulls the covers over us, cocooning us in a soft warm blanket.
“Thank you.”
“I can’t tell you how weird it is to be thanked for that.” He nuzzles into the nape of my neck and nibbles along my shoulder, pitching up so he can peek over. I turn to face him.
“No, I mean thank you for everything, not just that.” He gives a short nod. It’s not like there’s a response that wouldn’t instantly bring my ugly reality crashing back to burst our bubble.
“Try and get some sleep.” He leans right over and kisses me. I struggle to swallow the sudden lump in my throat.
Why did that feel more like a kiss goodbye than a kiss goodnight?
Because you made your bed, Buttercup.
MY EYES FLUTTER OPEN. IT’S dark in the bedroom, with the gentle sounds of daybreak creeping into the silence of the fading nighttime. Dawn is just around the corner and, wrapped in Pink’s arms, I feel I could sleep forever. Even so, I have things to do.
Last night was everything. Everything.
I feel along the floor, searching to find my dress. The heavy arm resting over my waist curls tighter, pulling me into his firm heat. How good does that feel? It’s heaven. I have no idea where my bra is, and I’m pretty sure my panties are under the bed. I figure I can get a fresh change of clothes at Grampa’s. I wiggle out of Pink’s hold and into my dress, then he tugs me back down to his side.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he says, kissing my neck, breathing deeply in between a million more kisses.
“I’m going to tell Kurt I can’t marry him. And then I’ll tell my Grampa, maybe the other way around. Yes, I’ll tell Grampa first.” I’m pushing to get up, but the force of Pink sitting bolt upright flattens me back to the bed.
Pink pitches up on his elbow and leans over me, his eyes intently searching mine. “Buttercup, you don’t have to do this.”
“You don’t want me?” Tears instantly fill my eyes, and just as a surge of sadness sets to engulf me, he’s already shaking his head.
“Fuck, how could you even…of course I want you.” He sighs with a tender smile and presses an even more tender kiss against my mouth, gentle and perfectly proprietary. “Last night was the best night of my life, but you have to be sure, Buttercup. You have to be completely, utterly, without a shadow of doubt happy with the decision you’re making. I couldn’t bear it if you end up regretting what we did, because, princess, this is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.”
“This isn’t about sex, Pink. You’re good, but still, this is my whole life, and I see that more clearly now than I ever have. All that happened last night was I woke up. I love my Grampa and he loves me. He’s only ever wanted what’s best for me. Why would this be any different?”
“I am not going to argue.” Wonder widens his stunning smile and warms me right through to my bones.
“Good. I’ve never been more certain about anything, or more happy. I love you, Pink.”
“Brady.”
“What now?”
“Brady is my real name, Brady Pinkerton.”
“I love you, Brady Pinkerton.” Holding his face in my hands, I feel like I have the whole world in my palms. He looks into my eyes, my heart stops, and even the second he is taking to respond is too long.
“I love you, Buttercup.”
I’m not sure who moves first and I don’t care. I kiss him; he kisses me right back, a breath-stealing, life-affirming, and heart-melting kiss. I’m dizzy when we break apart, panting for a breath I can’t catch. He is rock solid against my thigh, and I don’t want to leave.
“If it wasn’t my wedding day, I wouldn’t want to leave. You know that, right?”
“If it wasn’t your wedding day, I wouldn’t let you leave.” He lifts me up and over him so I can slide my feet to the floor. He’s leaning his head on his hand, the covers draped at his trim waist. He has to be the sweetest, sexiest man in the whole darn world, and he’s looking at me like I’m a real princess, like I’m his.
I have no idea where the strength I’m drawing on to not jump right back in his bed is coming from. My c
hest feels like it’s going to explode, and my heart is bursting at the seams with love. I can’t wait to get my life started for real, with him. Slipping my shoes on, I rush to the door.
“Buttercup, wait!” he calls out, halting my exit in its tracks. His voice drops, his facial expression instantly serious. “I am leaving here at noon. The same time you’re supposed to be getting married. If you’re here, I’ll be the happiest man in the world. If you’re not, I’ll understand.” He seems to struggle, forcing the words out, and I have to think it’s because his mouth is as dry as mine is.
“I’ll be here.” I blink back the tears that threaten at the doubts that are all too evident on his handsome face.
“I fucking hope so, because I lied when I said I’d understand. I’ll be fucking heartbroken.” That heart he wears on his sleeve is the reason I love him, and I’d die before I let that break.
“This isn’t a temporary endorphin high, Pink. I’m not going to change my mind. I love you.” I blow him a kiss, excitement infecting my smile. I have no doubts.
He holds my gaze and it’s like he sees right through me, to my heart, my soul, even reads my mind. I hope he can; he’d see the truth.
“I love you too. Do you need me to come with you?”
I shake my head at the sweet but terrible suggestion. I know Kurt’s family and they don’t take rejection well. Still, they are less likely to shoot me. “This is something I have to do on my own. I have to be able to stand up for myself.”
“See you later then?”
“Noon.” I assert with a sharp nod and a wide grin.
“Noon.” His response is equally emphatic.
I CLICK THE GATE TO the trailer shut. Daisy is skittish, and I hope she’s going to settle. This is going to be a long drive.
I waited an excruciating fifty-five long minutes after our noon deadline.
I can’t do this anymore.
I don’t know what I was thinking. Did I really think that one night of phenomenal sex or having a connection like we did would be enough to change a lifetime of indoctrination and duty? It’s not like Buttercup has a comparison, and once the euphoria ebbed, real life was sure to come crashing in. I’m an idiot. She probably barely made it to the highway before her responsibilities and commitments began to taint her night with me. Maybe if I had gone with her? Maybe I should try and find her now?
No, no more.
She has my number. I have to face it. Last night was a mistake. Coming here was a huge fucking mistake. It’s time to go home.
Pain like I’ve never known is tearing through my chest, yet I can’t stop myself from heading out toward the Mason estate. I saw the first signs for the wedding, directing the guests, when I hit the outskirts of town. It’s like I’m on some sort of masochistic autopilot. I keep telling myself I need the closure, but honestly, I already know, and it’s not made a fucking bit of difference. My foot is on the gas, my hands are locked to the steering wheel and I couldn’t turn around if I wanted to. I’m not sure I can bear to see her now, as Mrs. Mason, but I have to know it’s really the end. I have to see it with my own eyes.
I’ve had to drive a little slower than normal because of Daisy in the trailer. Time doesn’t matter, nothing does, and when I reach the main entrance, I have to wonder if anything ever will again.
There are several security guards blocking the entrance, every part of the massive wooden gates are decorated in white roses and silk ribbons tied into bows. The trees that line the drive have lanterns hanging from the bows, more ribbon tied around the trunks and hundreds of cars are parked on both sides of the road leading to the small chapel set back from the main house. There’s music drifting in the sticky Texas summer air, there’s chatter and laughter. The wedding is in full swing.
I slow my truck only to speed away. I’ve changed my mind. I’ve seen enough. Seeing her wouldn’t do either of us any favors. Her decision has destroyed me, and I wasn’t lying when I said I’d be fucking heartbroken, but I know one thing to be true in this fucking mess. Buttercup loves me and showing up now would hurt her as much as it hurts me, and I love her too much to do that.
It’s over.
My eyes prick with painful tears. I can’t breathe for the agony ripping my heart apart, and I take no comfort in knowing she’s probably feeling exactly the same. At least I have a family I can turn to. Who has she got? No one.
“GRAMPS!” BURSTING THROUGH THE FRONT door, I catch Grampa at the mirror, smoothing his hair and dressed in a suit. He faces me, looking as shocked as I feel at the sight. I’ve never seen him look so smart. “Wow, you look great!”
“Buttercup, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting all pretty and stuff for the big day? Not that you don’t look like an angel. You look like your momma. She was such a beauty.”
I rush to him and take his hands in mine, urging him toward the couch. “I know, Gramps. she was. I have to tell you something. Sit down.”
“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Worry troubles the crinkles around his grey eyes.
“I’m in love.”
He chuckles, his features softening with relief. “I know. That’s why you’re getting married.”
“No, not Kurt. I’m not marrying Kurt. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He leans back as if trying to focus on the words rather than the person saying them. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t love him. I never have.” I exhale the weight of the world and seem to hold my breath at the same time.
“Then why are you marrying him? I’m sorry, angel, I’m very confused.” There’s no hint of anger, only concern and confusion, nothing more. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I can’t get the words out fast enough.
“Kurt knows I’m only marrying him to save the farm. He knows I don’t love him. He doesn’t love me. He wants me as a trophy or just because he thinks he can. I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. I’m sorry about the farm, Gramps, I truly am. We’ll figure out something, but I can’t marry him. I won’t. It’s my life. Before, it was okay, but now, it’s different. It’s all different.”
“Buttercup, am I hearing this right, you agreed to marry Kurt to save the farm?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” He pulls his hands from mine and raises them high, exasperated.
“You love this place. You mortgaged it for me to go to college.” He’s rubbing his temples as I try and explain.
“So you would have a better life.” His voice is pitched with agitation. “How is marrying someone you don’t love giving you a better life? I never wanted that.” Every frustrated word is louder than the one before. Taking one of his hands and holding it in both of mine, I try to calm him. Tension is set as solid in his jaw as it is in his shoulders, and I can only imagine what his heart is doing right now.
“But the farm?”
“It’s just old buildings and machines, Buttercup, your happiness is all I ever wanted.” He lets out a heavy breath and pulls me across him chest, holding me tight with his heavy arm. The rapid thump of his heart beat steadies with every slow, deep breath he takes. Stroking my hair, soothing us both, he kisses my head and says. “I thought you loved him. I wish you’d told me before.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. We’ll work something out, I promise.”
“I’m not worried about the farm, angel. The Masons can take it for all I care. I’m getting too old to keep it; we both know that. And Shelli-Rae’s been wanting me to move in with her for a long time. I only said no because of you.”
“I really should’ve said something.” I sniff and wipe the tears from my eyes, then sit up and face the only other person I’ve ever loved.
“For a bright girl, I have to say this has not been your smartest move. Listen to me Buttercup. You are not responsible for everyone else’s happiness. You’re only responsible for your own. It may sound selfish, but only when you are truly happy can you possibly expect to make anyone else happy. I want you to be happy.”
<
br /> “I am.” I feel like I could burst, I’m so darn happy. Gramps returns my smile, satisfied that, for once, I’m not pretending.
“So, what now?”
“I’m going to tell Kurt the wedding’s off.”
“And that young man you’re in love with, what about him?” He tilts his head and raises a bushy knowing brow.
“Pink’s waiting for me at the cabin. We’ll come over later and talk through what we’re going to do. I know it’s a mess, but for the first time in forever I feel truly optimistic about my life.”
“It’s all I ever wanted, angel. I’m coming with you.” He pushes himself up from the couch.
“I can do this on my own.”
“I know you can. I just want to see that smug bastard’s face when you tell him you’re not going to be his wife.” My jaw practically hits the floor.
“What? I thought you liked him.”
“You still don’t get it do you? It’s not about what or who I like. It’s about you. The Masons think they’re better then everyone, and in my opinion, that boy doesn’t deserve to kiss the ground you walk on. He’s a good for nothing, but it’s not my life. It’s yours, and I thought he made you happy. You never told me you didn’t love him. You’re not the only one that’s happy today, angel.” He wiggles his brow playfully.
I laugh before I need to get serious. “It might get ugly.”
“Then I’d best bring Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.” He wanders over to his gun cabinet and, after checking that it’s loaded and the safety is on, slips the smallest of his handguns into the back of his belt. He takes his jacket and slips it over his broad shoulders, picks up his keys from the dresser, and with a gentlemanly bow, motions for me to leave through the front door before him.
Passing him and crossing the threshold, I say over my shoulder. “Please don’t shoot anyone. If I have to take you to the hospital, I might miss Pink, and I have to be at the cabin by noon.”
“Why?” He offers me the crook of his arm and I take it.