by Dani René
“I have been called that once or twice.” With a cheeky wink, his eyes sparkle with mischief. I swat him playfully.
“Don’t be an ass.” His hands slowly stroke my back, and the realization hits me he will feel the scars. Shit! Jumping up, I grasp my robe and tug it on.
“Petal? What’s wrong?” The concern in his gaze unnerves me.
I can’t do this.
I can’t do this.
He can’t know.
“Nothing. Do you want coffee?”
“No. What the fuck just happened?” Spinning on my heel, I scoot past him, out of the kitchen into the living room. Curling myself on the sofa. My head on my knees. Inhaling short deep breaths.
I can’t do this.
I can’t do this.
The mantra playing in my mind numbs me. I can't think. Thoughts of him finding out the truth about my past and leaving tear me apart. “Jesus, Tayla. Talk to me, baby.”
He perches next to me, encircling me and my whole body goes rigid. With slow strokes over my back, his touch calms my heart rate. My breathing evens and I steal a glance at him. “Callum, you called me a damaged angel earlier.”
“No, angel. You’re not damaged.” The tears that were threatening spill as I blink and nod quickly.
“I am. So fucking broken, you do not realize.”
“Then enlighten me, Petal. It kills me to see you so hurt.” Our eyes lock for an eternity. There is something in his expression. Inside the blue depths, trust fills me, like an empty cup. No one has seen this part of me, and if they did, they'd run. I chose a relationship with Callum. I will have to show him. To tell him. The thought terrifies me shitless, but I don’t have a choice.
“I want you to promise me, that no matter what I say, you won’t judge me.” His eyebrows crease in confusion. “You also need to let me finish before you respond. Before you walk away and never come back, give me a chance tell my story.”
“I am not leaving, Tayla. Talk.” My heart is sputtering in my rib cage. It might force its way out of my chest before I get everything out. I drop my feet to the floor and stand in front of him. My lips purse in a harsh line. I don't meet his passionate stare. I loosen the sash of the robe. Letting it slide over my shoulders and pool on the carpet.
“If you’re trying to tell me something awful, this isn’t helping.” The wicked smirk he gives almost makes me smile, but I put a finger on my lips. Gesturing for him to shush.
I lift my hair, twirl it up onto my head. As soon as I turn around, the audible gasp that rushes from him has me cringing. He’s silent. Painfully silent. My body shudders. Fear wrenches in my chest. My heart wrung with the ache of him leaving. The heat from his naked chest at my back is unexpected. I can sense it. He’s not touching me. I didn’t expect him to want to put his hands on me. The sadness in my heart is worse than the agony of what happened.
You’re a disgusting little slut. Do you hear me? Nobody will ever want you. Just remember who did this to you. This is what you deserve. Teasing me for months. This will make sure you’re never going to tease another man again. They will look at you with disgust. Because you’re filthy. If only your daddy knew what a little whore you are. If you ever tell him, it was me, I will find your sister and take her too. Do you hear me?
The voice invades my mind. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking it out. I draw a deep breath and speak again. “So. I uhm…” Dropping my hair. I shift back to him and the rage in his stare is unmistakable. He is radiating anger and I clutch my robe. “That’s what you touched. A monster. I am ruined, Callum.” My tone is sharp. The wince is obvious on his face. I spin on my heel and run into my bedroom.
“Tayla, don't walk away from me. Please? I am not fucking leaving. You need tell me what the fuck happened. What disgusting piece of shit could do this to you, baby?” The pain in his tone rips my heart in two. How can he be standing here?
I sense his presence behind me. The heat of his body against mine. “I saw the horror and disgust in your eyes.” The tears I held onto spill down my cheeks. I step up to the large window. I can’t face him, so the next best thing is to look outside. Anywhere but at the distaste in his expression. I know it’s there. They all look at me the same way. He made sure of that.
“It was a few years ago. I have told no one. Not even my sister. I was ashamed of my choices. This… Is my burden to bare. My mistake. I chose the wrong path in my life and I paid for it.” My voice cracks with emotion. “He assured me no man could ever want me.” When Callum’s hand settles on my shoulder, I start. The touch is so light, but the air is heavy between us.
“Well, he fucked up.” His tone is rough and gentle in my ear. What? I whirl around and peer at him. Those blue pools that earlier had fear and rage in them have something else. Not love, but an emotion close to it, and it suffocates me.
“What do you mean?” It’s my turn to frown at him.
“I want you. But I need you to be honest. What happened? And where is this fucking asshole? I want to fuck him up so bad the dick will never walk again.” His body shudders with anger. There is vengeance in his stance. I don't doubt that he would do it. Shaking my head, I turn back to face the city below.
“He's gone. They arrested him, apparently I wasn't the first victim. Why are you still here?” I meet those cerulean pools. The sincerity in his gaze is filled with awe. But I am flawed. Broken. There is nothing worth wanting. His arms encircle my waist and hold me against him.
“You, Petal. Are perfect. I choose to be here. Do you trust me to tell me the rest?” He’s only wearing a towel and I am too aware of his thickness pressing against my ass. I step away, making myself comfortable on the bench seat at the window.
“I had just turned eighteen. I was staying with a friend. My father, he managed to pay for my studies, but he couldn’t afford a dorm for me. The thing is, he lost his fortune because of his business associate. The police couldn’t recover what was lost. We didn’t have anything. I didn’t have anything.” Drawing a deep breath, I continue. All the while facing outside. “I had to work. My classmate told me about a job she had. Said she made enough money to pay for her own off-campus apartment. All I had to do was dance.” His breathing hitches.
“Not stripping. Aerial dancing is a form of fitness. Where I have bands of material fastened to the ceiling, and I twist and twirl in the air. I didn't strip. Since I did it to keep fit, I didn’t see an issue with it. It was something fascinating to watch.” Cal sits opposite me, his hand on my knee. The pad of his thumb strokes circles on my skin. Tears spill down my cheeks, and I swipe them away. “That’s when he saw me and recognized my face. He was older, thirty-five. I was young and stupid. He was my father’s business partner. He evaded the police, until he landed in the club where I was working. Threatening to expose me to my parents, he forced me to go home with him. I was so stupid. I was afraid to go the police. He started out pushing me around. Telling me…”
A sob cracks my voice and I shiver. “He told me I am worthless. One night, he came to my place drunk. We argued because I told him I couldn’t do it anymore.” Callum pulls me against him. I clamber into his lap, taking comfort in his embrace. “He took out a blade. Forced me to lie on a table. Then he tied me to it. I couldn’t move. He…” I swallowed the emotion thick in my throat. Callum's body stiffened and the rhythm of his heart sped up. “He ripped my top off. Sliced rather. My bra along with it. Then he marked my back. So I could never dance again. He said it was my fault. I was teasing him. Making men…” My words tapered into silence. The vibration of anger flowing from Callum was evident. It filled the air between us.
“Shh, baby.” Pulling me to stand, positioning me between his legs. His fingers tug my bathrobe and it falls open. Feathering kisses on my belly, with his grip on my hips holding me steady. He rises and our bodies are flush. A slight nudge and the silky material slips over my shoulders, and pools at my feet. This was the first time anyone has exposed me this way. Not my body, but my soul. He has taken my pai
n, my aching heart and splayed it to his gaze. “Pull your hair to the side.” Callum’s voice is tender. Caring. Calming. My desire to comply is overwhelming. I obey his order watching him move around me. Once he steps behind me, I am not scared any longer. His lips on me sends an unusual awareness through me. He's falling for me too. The soft feather light kisses, over my back, on each part of my tattoo, has goose bumps rising on my skin. From the top of my shoulder blades, down to my ass. When he is done, having placed a kiss on every inch of my inked skin, he turns me to look at him. Strong, loving hands frame my face and the pads of his thumbs swipe my cheeks. All the emotion I kept bottled up shatters and explodes.
“Handsome, I have no clue how to be in a relationship.” The smile he gives me is serious, and beautiful all at the same time. “He ruined me. Earlier, when we had sex. That was the first time I trusted someone. To... touch me.” The harsh truth of my words shocked me and him. We stared at each other for a moment.
“Neither do I. We are in new territory and all I want to do is be near you. My life is intense, Petal. It’s public, and if you can’t deal with that then we will find a way past that. I need you. I do. Every exquisite inch of you. You're so far from ruined. I see you as incredible and strong, and you're mine.” His confession seeps into me, into my veins, into my cracked soul. And I knew it would soon drench my heart.
“Callum, it will be difficult. I mean, I can't walk away from you right now.” My eyes lock on his. Showing him through my gaze that my feelings ran deeper than we both thought.
“I realize the tabloids paint me as a heartless dick, but I am not. There are things I am not proud of doing, but if you agree, we can figure it out.” Without another word I wrap my arms around him. I needed his warmth. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Besides you have the most delicious little pussy I have ever felt. Like you were made for me.” That earned him a giggle.
“You’re so romantic, Hayes.” He shrugs and wipes my wet cheeks and whispers a kiss on my forehead.
“I never claimed to be less than perfect.”
“Thank you Cal, for not... I don't know. For not leaving.”
“Don’t thank me. You’re everything I could ever want. And I am not losing you.”
My rock star was perfect. He was the man who kissed my scars that were concealed by the tattoo. He picked me up and walked to the bed. Dinner forgotten. Laying me down, he spooned against me. My eyes closed as he enveloped me. My body against his. The heat of his chest against my back. That’s when sleep welcomed me and the nightmare showed up.
“Little angel, see how elegant you are. Do you realize that you’re mine? There will never be another man in your life. Do you know how I figure that? Because I will make sure of it. Do you understand me you, filthy slut?” My muscles are weakening. I have no idea what he injected into me, but there’s fire in my veins. I am sprawled on a table, my arms and legs shackled and the icy steel gouges into my back. It’s not as unpleasant as the substance he shot into me. “My sexy dancing bitch. That’s what you are. Twirling and swinging around on those harnesses.” The sting of pain bites as he whips me.
“Please, I will do anything, let me go? I have to get home tonight. I can’t stay in here. My family, they’ll be looking for me.” A second blinding slice in my skin and I cry out in anguish.
“You will leave when I allow you to.” His thick rough fingers caress the entrance to my body and the torment blinds me instantly. “You love it don’t you? Your little sister will be mine too.”
“No! You can’t touch her. Take me. Leave her alone?” My begging is what he loves.
The pleading.
The crying.
The trembling.
He gets off on it.
“Oh, I am taking your little cunt, then hers. So sweet. Wherever you go you will remember me.”
Since Tayla told me about what happened to her, I have been glued to her side. The fact that she works here makes it easier. I can check up on her. Her nightmares started and even though she assures me she’s okay, the fear I saw in her eyes that first night I woke her up, ripped me in two. Ever since, she has not left my sight. If I am not here, Liam and Ryan are. My heart is in this, I doubt she will leave, or hurt me. Still, I am terrified of losing her.
We head to the airport tomorrow. Paparazzi will hound us at every stop. We’ve been together for a month, but it’s still been kept quiet. I didn’t want her to be the focus of the cameras until she needed to be. So, I had to behave myself around her in public. “Hayes!” I realize I am in shit when she calls me by my last name. I chuckle because she is so damn cute when she’s angry.
“In here.”
“What the fuck were you doing yesterday?” She storms into my bedroom and I have no idea what’s gotten into her now. Slapping the paper on the bed next to me, I glance down, my eyes scan the story. I was caught on camera in Agent Provocateur. “Can you explain what you were doing there?”
“I was buying you a birthday present. If you must know. It was a gift for me too and I can’t wait to unwrap it.” My cheeky wink earns me a huff, but her resolve crumbles.
“Goddamnit. You’re infuriating.”
“That’s why we have such incredible sex. Make up sex is the best. Didn't you know?” I draw her into me. She’s standing between my thighs and I peer up into those beautiful shiny chestnut eyes. “Kiss me.” When she leans down I realize her anger has dissipated. Her lips find mine in a gentle tender kiss, but I need more. I lay back and pull her down on top of me, allowing her to straddle me.
“Guys! Get a room.” Liam leans against the door jamb. My brother has been giving me grief since Tayla moved in.
“We are in a room. Mine. Now get the fuck out.”
“Pizza is here. Better grab yours before it disappears.” He turns and leaves us alone. Another soft kiss and Tay jumps off me and pulls her flowing blonde hair into a messy bun.
“Come on. I am hungry. And I want my present early.” She winks and walks out of my room with a sway in her sexy hips. The day we play Wembley is her birthday. I will never forget June 11 for as long as I live.
After dinner we sat down to talk about the schedule. We needed to make sure everything is packed. Most of the equipment is delivered to the venues. Or brought in. The critical instruments we will take on the flight tomorrow. Tayla left us to take a shower. As I stroll into my bedroom, I find it empty. “Tay?”
“Bathroom.” Wandering over to the en-suite, I lean against the doorjamb staring at the most exquisite woman I have ever laid eyes on. Her long hair was wrapped in a towel and she had one of my cut out tanks on. The pattern was perfect because the curve of her gorgeous tits were visible. My cock jumped at the view. Her tattoo wove over her ribs and I detested the artist who got to ink her there.
“This is how I should be welcomed home daily.” Her blush is evident as it spreads from her cheeks to her chest. Stepping into the bathroom, I watch her moisturize her face. I circle my arms around her waist. Her soft supple skin under my lips begs to be licked, devoured. I plant kisses from her neck to her shoulder. The need to taste her overtakes me and I suck her sweet silky flesh into my mouth.
“I am sure that could be arranged, Mr. Hayes. Any other demands?” Her sassy mouth is in full force tonight and I have plans for it. I lean in and bite her earlobe, earning me a sexy whimper.
“In fact, now that you mention it. I do. I want you on my bed in five minutes. Naked. Spread open and waiting.” With a swat on her pert little ass, she yelps and runs into the bedroom. I drag my tank up over my head and unbutton my jeans. The zipper is half down. They hang off my hips, just the way I know she loves. Nothing can prepare me for what I see when I walk into the bedroom. Fuck!
She’s on my black sheets. On her back. Her smooth legs splayed wide and her hair loose on the pillow. Her body is bare of any clothes and her eyes are sparkling with desire. “Now this… Right here… Is how I demand to be greeted every day.” I lean forward and kiss her. It’s a chaste peck wh
ich takes all my restraint. “Roll over.” Without hesitation, she rolls over on her stomach. I grab the oils I bought two days ago. Squirting the lavender scented oil onto her skin in a pattern that matches the vines running the length of her back. Even though her tattoo covers the scars, I know they're there. She was frightened that I would freak out when I saw them. That they made her hideous. I think they make her more beautiful. They reveal her strength.
There is something between us. I have never felt with anyone before. When we make love, our souls unite in a melody fit for heaven. The damaged angel, as she loves to call herself, is the heaven to my hell. I wish she can understand how beautiful she is. I want her to see what I do. Perfection in the purest form. She’s been dragged through hell, but her wings are still white as snow.
All the lyrics that occupied my mind in the recent weeks have been about her. Every time I sit to compose. The words are about her. What she makes me feel. I massage the oil into her skin. The tattoo glistening. An intricate design. Vines and cherry blossoms intertwine covering the left-hand side of her body. The other side is an angel wing. At the tip of the wing are flames that are about to engulf it. And in between the vines are shattered hearts. Between love and fire. That’s perfect. I should write that down, but nothing will pull me away from her right now. Underneath the ink are the small scars that dot her back. Incisions made with a knife.
My hands move over her and the sweet-scented lotion makes her smooth and silky. “Callum, can we make love now?” I didn’t realize that I had been sitting here staring at her for fifteen minutes. Her head turned. She’s facing me and I grin. Nodding.